I used to think every feeling had a reason.
Every moment had meaning.
Every almost… could become something.
But now—
I'm not so sure.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped counting.
Thirty-six.
That number used to matter.
Every glance.
Every moment.
Every small thing I thought meant something.
But now…
It just feels like a number.
Because no matter how much I tried—
To understand.
To get closer.
To hold on—
Nothing really changed.
And maybe…
that was the answer all along.
I think the hardest part wasn't liking him.
It was realizing that I never really had a chance.
Not in the way I thought.
Not in the way I hoped.
And that's when I remembered something.
My first crush.
Jason.
Back then, everything felt simple.
Innocent.
Uncomplicated.
I didn't overthink.
I didn't question every little thing.
It was just a feeling.
But this—
This was different.
This was confusion.
Mixed signals.
Silence where there should've been answers.
And maybe that's the difference.
Some feelings are meant to be felt.
And some…
Are meant to be let go.
I don't hate him.
I don't regret anything.
Not the moments.
Not the feelings.
Not even the thirty-six.
Because they were real.
At least to me.
But I think I finally understand something now.
Not every story is meant to become something more.
Some people are just meant to pass through your life.
Leave behind a feeling.
A memory.
A lesson.
And maybe…
that's all this was ever meant to be.
Because the truth is—
I fell for someone I never really had a chance with.
And maybe…
we were never meant to be anything more than that.
So this is me.
Not moving on completely.
Not forgetting.
But letting go.
Quietly.(Or atleast trying to do so)
Thirty-six glances later… and I finally understood—some stories were never meant to be finished.