Chapter 15
Somewhere Between Love and Addiction
Three years.
Three whole years…
passed just like that.
And somewhere in between…
We changed.
Not suddenly.
Not loudly.
But slowly…
quietly…
Deeply.
We weren't just "talking" anymore.
We weren't just "hiding" anymore.
We had become…
something else.
Something stronger.
Something dangerous.
Him.
He wasn't just a part of my day anymore.
He was my day.
"Good morning."
"Wake up."
"Did you eat?"
"Call me."
Every message…
felt necessary.
Every call…
felt incomplete without.
And me?
I didn't realize when I got used to him.
Used to his voice.
Used to his teasing.
Used to his presence.
Used to him.
"Jay…"
"Hmm?"
"Where are you?"
"Class."
"Come out."
"Why?"
"Because I'm bored."
"Idiot."
"Come."
And I would go.
Without thinking.
Without questioning.
Like it was normal.
Like it was right.
We had our places.
Corners in college…
where no one noticed.
Silences…
that spoke more than words.
And moments…
that belonged only to us.
"You're late."
"By two minutes."
"That's late."
"Control freak."
"Say sorry."
"No."
"Say it."
"…sorry."
"Good."
I would roll my eyes.
But I would still smile.
Because that was us.
Fights.
Teasing.
Silence.
Closeness.
Everything mixed together.
And somewhere along the way…
Distance disappeared.
Not outside.
We still acted the same.
Strangers.
Friends.
Nothing more.
But when no one was around…
He wouldn't stand far anymore.
He would stand close.
Too close.
"Keifer…"
"Hmm?"
"Move."
"No."
"Someone will see."
"Let them."
"No!"
He would smirk.
"Relax."
But I couldn't.
Because my heart…
was already too full.
And him?
He knew it.
"Why do you get so nervous?"
"Because you don't think!"
"I do."
"No, you don't."
"I think about you."
Silence.
And just like that…
he would win.
Every time.
Some days…
we didn't even need to talk.
Just being there…
was enough.
Sitting side by side.
Doing nothing.
But still feeling everything.
"Jay…"
"Hmm?"
"Don't go anywhere."
"I'm right here."
"Stay like this."
"…okay."
And I would.
Because leaving him…
even for a moment…
felt wrong.
That's when I realized.
This wasn't just love anymore.
It was habit.
Comfort.
Need.
Addiction.
Because without him…
something felt missing.
Incomplete.
And maybe…
that was the most dangerous part.
Because loving someone is beautiful.
But needing them?
That's where it gets risky.
Because if they leave…
They don't just take themselves.
They take a part of you with them.
And I didn't know then…
That one day…
I would have to learn
how to live without him.
Even when I didn't want to.
To be continued… 😏💔