Chapter 40
The Smile That Wasn't For Me
(Jay's POV)
He walked in.
Clean-cut.
Smiling.
Confident.
Normal.
Like he had no past.
No history.
No me.
I froze.
Heart stopped.
Breath caught.
"Jay," he said casually.
Like he was greeting a stranger.
I blinked.
"Keifer…"
My voice cracked.
Weak.
He smiled politely.
"Hello."
And that was it.
Just… hello.
No teasing.
No fluttering.
No small jokes.
No "I missed you."
No warmth.
No us.
He had moved on.
Completely.
And I…
I hadn't.
I tried to speak.
"I… How…?"
He tilted his head.
Smiled faintly.
"I'm fine, Jay. Everything's fine."
Fine.
His voice was calm.
Neutral.
Detached.
It was the smile of someone seeing a stranger for the first time.
And that…
That broke me.
I couldn't hold it.
I couldn't stand there.
"I… I need to go…"
I rushed out.
Almost ran.
He didn't follow.
He didn't stop me.
I slammed my door.
Locked it.
Sat on the floor.
Head in my hands.
Tears came.
Unstoppable.
I cried for him.
For us.
For everything we lost.
For all the moments we would never have.
I cried until my chest ached.
Until my throat hurt.
Until my tears ran dry.
I thought I could handle him leaving.
I thought I could accept his absence.
I thought I could survive.
But seeing him like this…
Like he didn't know me.
Like I was nothing…
Was unbearable.
I remembered all the nights we spent talking.
The teasing.
The laughter.
The first kiss.
The small gifts he gave me.
The way he looked at me when no one was watching.
The way he cared.
All gone.
Like smoke in the wind.
I curled up on my bed.
Tears still falling.
Heart still aching.
"I didn't want this…" I whispered.
"I didn't want to lose you…"
Sleep finally came.
Not peaceful.
Not restful.
But it came.
Wrapped in sorrow.
And dreams of what could have been.
When I woke, the room was quiet.
Empty.
Still aching.
And I knew…
This was my life now.
He had moved on.
I was left behind.
Alone.
With memories.
With pain.
With him…
Still here.
But not mine.
To be continued… 😭💔💫