I returned to my chamber and lay upon my bed, staring at the ceiling. I felt unclean.Disgusted with myself.
I was not ignorant of such matters. I had read of them in novels, though never in detail. At the orphanage, the older girls would whisper late at night about their secret affairs.
Once, I even witnessed Mr. Knight with the fisherman's wife. He moved with brutal force, and her cries filled the night. At the time, I had believed he was harming her, and I had been terrified—until Andie pulled me away and explained what I had seen.
He told me of intimacy, of desire, of the act between a man and a woman.Yet never—not once—had I imagined it happening to me.
What frightened me most was not only what had been done to me, but the confusion that followed.
I hated the Duke with every part of my being, and yet my body had betrayed me.
I had always believed such sensations were reserved for love, for affection freely given. Now I wondered if something was wrong with me—if my body itself was flawed.
It was long past midnight, and sleep refused to come. The events replayed relentlessly in my mind, tightening around my chest until I felt I could scarcely breathe. I needed air. Space. I could not remain trapped with these thoughts.
I wrapped a shawl around my nightdress and slipped out. Spring had arrived, yet the nights still carried a chill. From time to time, I escaped to my training ground—an open field dotted with grass and small wildflowers, where I practiced archery. It was secluded, far from the main grounds. No one was permitted there except Sir Lance.
I sank into the grass, letting the earth support me, pushing my thoughts aside. I breathed deeply. The scent of flowers and damp grass filled my lungs, and for the first time that night, I smiled. Above me, the stars stretched endlessly across the sky.
"Do you always sneak out like this, Princess?"I startled, jumping to my feet, eyes wide as I turned toward the voice."Sir Leo! Wh—what are you doing here?"He chuckled softly. "Forgive me. I did not mean to frighten you. I was wandering the duchy grounds when I noticed you slipping away." His lips curved into a knowing smirk.I looked away.
"I was not sneaking out. I was merely taking a walk."
"Of course," he said lightly.
"And at this hour? Unable to sleep?"
"Yes," I admitted.
"I needed to clear my thoughts."
"It is dangerous for a young lady to wander alone at night—even within the duchy."
"No one is allowed here," I replied firmly.
"And yet," he said pointedly, "here I am."
"You should not be," I scowled. "This place is forbidden."
"If no one is told, no one will know," he said, winking. Arrogant as ever.To my shock, he lowered himself onto the grass beside me, utterly at ease."Lie down," he said. "You needn't be shy around me, Princess."I hesitated—but I did not feel threatened. Reluctantly, I lay back and stared once more at the stars, momentarily forgetting that I was not alone.
"Why do you come here?" he asked quietly.
"When I am here," I said after a pause, "I feel free. It reminds me of when I was younger—before worries weighed upon me. I used to climb onto the roof of our home. My father would scold me every time, fearing I would fall. But I loved the stars. No matter what happens below, they never lose their light."
He was silent for a moment. Then, "How old were you when you entered the orphanage?"
"Ten. My father was the only family I had."
"And your mother?"
"She died giving birth to me."
I realized then how much I had shared with him. Too much. I began to rise, intending to leave, but he sat up first.
"It is growing cold," he said.
"You are not dressed for this weather.
"His gaze lingered—too long—upon my legs. My nightdress had ridden higher as I lay in the grass.
I stood quickly, discomfort creeping in.
"Allow me to escort you back."
"No," I said at once. "If anyone sees us together, they will draw conclusions. It would only cause trouble."
"So," he teased, "you were sneaking out."My face burned. "G—good night, Sir Leo."
"You may call me Leo princess."
"Stop calling me Princess," I snapped.
He laughed. "Good night, Princess."Infuriating man.
I turned away, then stopped and looked back. "You will not tell anyone you saw me—will you?"
"Only if you meet me here again," he replied, that infuriating smirk firmly in place.
"I promise nothing," I said coolly. "And for your own safety, you should remain silent."
This time, I smiled.
He stepped closer, his gaze intense, his voice low. "You need not concern yourself with my safety. I will be here every night, waiting for you."
There was nothing improper in his words—yet my body reacted all the same. Heat pooled low in my abdomen, and my cheeks burned.Without another word, I turned and hurried back to the mansion.
As I slipped into bed, a small, unwelcome smile curved my lips. My thoughts were finally quiet.And for the first time that night, I fell asleep at once