I opened my eyes and I was once again faced with the chained up version of myself. Unlike the previous times I was here, I remained completely calm.
There he was, the same position I left him. He remained in the centre, on his knees, bound by the arms in such a way they looked like wings without feathers.
But—
There was something different… Something that wasn't there the last time I was here.
I stepped closer to see if my eyes were playing tricks. It wasn't a mistake.
He had been chained by the mouth.
"What the—"
Suddenly, tears begin to roll down my cheeks. Quiet sobs escaped my lips.
"These weren't my tears—" I whispered.
I looked at him, and saw nothing but emptiness in his eyes. I could tell that he was tired, he was in pain, and he wanted… freedom.
Walked around him, counting the chains he was bound by on one side. I counted ten, and each time I touched a chain, they pulsed with a dull glow.
As I held each chain, it expanded in my mind revealing ten small chains around the main chain.
Invisible. But there. Alive.
Those small chains pulsed gently. Beating like a heart, as they slowly spiralled around the main chain.
The vision broke.
I moved to another chain, then held it. The same thing happened. But this one was different.
Few of those little chains had snapped. Their fragments floating around.
"I hear snaps every time I get stronger." My brows furrowed. "Is this the cause?"
The vision broke.
Walked over to the other side, this time, I counted thirteen chains.
"Why's this one more than the other?"
I took a look at his back, and noticed faint markings. I didn't bother myself with that and went on to check if the thirteen chains have smaller chains like the first side.
And they did. But unlike the first one that spiralled around its host chain. This one ran parallel to its host. It pulses a faint golden glow. I felt warmth and peace on this side, but pain and loneliness from the other.
I checked each chain to see if any had smaller chains that had snapped.
"Almost all the chains here have complete micro chains. Where's the last—"
I paused.
"This one feels different."
Had to go stay in front of him to be able to access it.
I grabbed it.
Suddenly he rose up. His left eye, burning gold. And in one quick motion, he shot forward.
Our foreheads touched.
Light swallowed the space. And my vision went blank.
****
Warm. Soft humming.
A gentle hand stroking my hair.
My vision slowly recovered.
I was cradled in a woman's arm. Her face stayed behind the sunlight, making it hard for me to see her face. Her skin was a deep, light-absorbing black, smooth and flawless.
She sang a lullaby, facing me. Her voice, soft and familiar.
The song that was carved into memories that had been buried within me.
"
The light and dark in love,
Yet never joined.
One shone with longing,
One called in quiet,
Their paths apart.
They chased each other,
Yet never touched.
They reached out with hope,
Sadly,
They fell apart.
Then one day came.
On that day they fled,
To live the life they dreamed.
Good days Good days,
They fade so fast...
Bad days Harsh days,
They linger long..
They gave their all,
For that one day.
They gave their all,
Now torn once more.
Waiting in silence,
For that day again.
"
She booped my nose then laughed softly. A warm, motherly sound.
I could hear myself giggling. Then, a male voice. He spoke to this woman in a tongue that was different from the Terrakans.
"He's awake. How is he?" He asked.
"He's stable now." She replied, voice low.
The man moved in closer and wrapped his arms around her. His face hidden behind his long hair.
"Lirael, I'm sorry, but it's what's best for him." He said, gently.
She sobbed quietly. "I know. I know…"
Another walked in, a woman, old and gentle.
"How's the little one's Mar?" She asked with worry in her voice.
"Yes, he's fine now." She sobbed. "My little boy."
Three faces. Two belonged to my parents. All hidden behind this light. I couldn't even tell if it was just the sun, or I just don't remember how they looked.
I stretched out my arms, to bring my mother's face closer. They couldn't reach her. My small and chubby hands couldn't.
She chuckled softly. "Mom's right here. She always will."
She moved closer. "Always…"
I saw it.
Her face. Her skin is unlike no other, with her hair falling long like a flowing river, dark like night, and tied high at the crown. Her eyes held a sharp blue glow and a black robe wrapped her.
Her presence was calm, steady and peaceful.
My mother was beautiful.
She poked my face, playfully. Then, she leaned closer.
"The Light and Dark will have their day, my little prince."
The sunlight slowly swallowed everything.
My vision blanked, again.
****
Knock.
Knock.
I jolted awake. My chest rose and fell fast. Sweat ran down my neck.
The image of my mother's face still burned behind my eyes.
The knock pushed again. Harder.
I touched my forehead. "What... was that?"
The knock became more desperate.
I forced myself up and walked up to the door, I opened it.
Eimira stood there, fuming. Arms folded.
Her tone, sharp. "I already told you I was going to come tonight, why keep me wai—"
she froze.
She noticed my mood. "Zandren? What happened?"
"What?"
My voice came out, thin.
She stepped inside, and shut the door.
"W-Why are you crying?" She asked.
I blinked. "I'm.. crying?"
I touched my cheek and felt the tears. They wouldn't stop.
"I-I guess I am..."
Eimira pulled me into a hug. Quiet. Steady.
I didn't ask for it. But I needed it.
Moments passed. I sat on my bed.
My thoughts drifted in every direction. The room remained near quiet.
The only sound came from the kitchen. Soft movement. Sizzling food. Metal on wood. Eimira was cooking something for both of us.
I glanced at the window.
The sky had already turned dark, and it was raining. The sound of the rain drops hitting the window gave me a sense of relief.
I exhaled. "Perfect timing."
I stared at my hands.
"Mother..." I whispered.
"Hey Zandren, the food is ready, come eat." Eimira said.
Eimira had set the table and placed down the food for the both of us. The aroma of the food made me salivate without me noticing it.
She giggled. "Come on, sit. Let's eat."
I took a seat. The food on the table all looked savoury. I had no idea what they were, but they all looked good.
I took a spoonful of the soup she made.
"Mmm." I smiled. "I had no idea you could cook."
Eimira propped her chin on her hands. "Well, I took cooking classes as a hobby to cope with my trauma, and I fell in love with it."
"Why don't you cook often then?" I asked.
"I do, at home." She replied.
"Oh…"
"What? Do you love my cooking?" She asked with a smile, tilting her head slightly.
I blushed. "Argh. Don't look at me like that."
She smiled. "Why?"
"Oh my. Those blue eyes." I couldn't hide my smile.
She folded her arms and looked aside. "So, you don't love my cooking."
"Eh…."
"Love not like. Don't try to run." She added.
"Now you've trapped me." I laughed.
"Hmph!!" She turned.
I stood, knelt in front of her, and rested my head on her legs.
"Your cooking tastes like love. Is that your secret ingredient?"
She rubbed my head. "Yes..."
I rose and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead, before sitting.
"Say ahh." She said, slightly tucking her hair behind her ear.
"So cute."
"Ahhh" I opened my mouth.
She fed me a spoon of stew with fried meat.
I could tell that she got embarrassed by that, a lot, since her nose, cheeks and ears became more red than the rest of her face.
We finished eating and set the plates aside. Afterwards, we both laid on the bed looking up at the ceiling. No words said yet.
Then, Eimira broke the silence first.
She spoke. "So, are you going to tell me what happened?"
I was hesitant, but right now, she's the only one I can talk to about this.
"I... saw my mother."
She sat up and looked at me. "What?"
I sat up. "I regained a part of my memory from when I was a baby. She was singing a lullaby to me before I opened my eyes."
I paused.
"Something happened when I was a child, and they made a decision that would save me. Though I don't know what it was."
Eimira held my hand. "That must have been lovely."
"I'd cry too if I ever saw my mother again." She added.
I chuckled. "I also heard the voices of my Father and maybe Grandmother?"
She giggled softly. "It must have been a lovely experience."
Eimira rested her head on my shoulder.
"So... How did she look?" She asked.
I rested my head gently on hers. "Well, I only caught a glimpse of how she looked since the memory was… too bright, hehe."
"But she was. Unique."
"Do you by chance know her name?" She asked.
"No. No… wait."
I thought for a moment.
"My father called her Lirael."
She chuckled softly. "A beautiful name for the beautiful mother of a handsome man."
I blushed. "Oh, stop."
We both laughed.
She laid back. "Come on, let's go to bed..."
"Wait... you are staying the night?" I asked, shocked.
"Originally I was planning on leaving, but I feel you need someone with you now." She replied.
I got worried. "What if you get caught with me? Wouldn't that cause problems for you?"
"Awwn, look at you all worried about me." She sat up and softly squeezed my face. "Don't worry, I'll have Aldren transport me with a cart covered with a cloth, buha ha ha."
I laughed. "Alright, alright."
We both laid back and stared at the ceiling. She rolled closer and placed her head on my chest.
"I love what you did with the portraits of me." She said.
"Oh, you finally noticed."
She chuckled. "What'd you take me for haha. I noticed the moment I came into the room. It just wasn't the right time then"
I gently stroked her hair. Something I hadn't done in a long time. I missed it.
"All I think about is you, all I want is to be with you, what I want to see before I sleep is you and what I want to see when I wake up… is you."
She squealed silently.
"Jeez stop." She said.
I laughed.
"What's funny?" She asked.
"Oh, I just remembered the first time we slept together. We were both drunk but you were worse and taking the initiative." I answered.
She blushed. "Stop, stop, stop… Don't remind me of that night."
"And then you began to undress yourself, then me and you—"
Ruffle.
She sat on me.
"I told you to stop..." She stared down with a single hand on my chest.
She leaned closer. "I was drunk alright? I didn't know what I was doing."
"When did you become so bold?" I asked, smiling.
I grabbed her and pulled her closer.
She yelped.
"But I'm bolder. You can't top tha—"
She planted a kiss on my lips.
"We were only apart for a bit, but I missed you so much."
She held my face, then kissed me again.
Her hands trembled a little.
Mine did too.
She pulled back, wanting to retreat but I didn't let her.
I turned her over and now I was on top.
She wrapped her legs around my waist and her hands around my neck. Her cheeks flushed.
She pulled me closer.
"I miss your warmth..." She whispered into my ear.
I kissed her neck and whispered back into hers. "And I'm right here..."
Her voice dropped. "It's not safe for us… today."
I froze, then nodded.
We laid back normally.
"I'm sorry..." she said softly.
"No rush," I replied, stroking her hair.
She settled in my arms. Her breathing slowed.
"I feel safe like this" she murmured
"Me too." I replied.
We stayed like that.No words.Only warmth. Only the quiet rise and fall of our breaths.
Sleep pulled us in together.