...
The branch bent a little under my weight as I reached up and twisted another apple free.
It was a good one, too. Red, smooth, no weird spots. I dropped it into the basket hanging from my arm and shifted my footing, steady enough despite the height. The tree creaked softly beneath me, leaves rustling in the afternoon breeze.
BZZ!
Then the little bastard came back.
At first, I felt this light prickling sensation on the side of my neck, right where skin was thin and annoying and apparently irresistible to every bloodsucking insect in existence. My hand shot up on instinct.
SLAP!
Nothing.
I turned my head, squinting. There it was again, hovering just in front of my face.
An incredibly persistent mosquito.
"You again?"
It buzzed near my ear, so I swatted at it, missing again. The thing circled lazily, like it was mocking me, before drifting back in. I tried to ignore it and picked another apple, only to feel that sharp little sting on my forearm this time.
"Seriously?"
I slapped my arm too late. The mosquito flew off, belly probably a little fuller, while I stared at the tiny bite mark it had left behind. It wasn't painful or anything, but the motherfucker was trying to get my shit for free!
My annoyance quickly cleared, and I went back to picking apples.
BZZZT!
Then it bit me again.
BZZZT!
And again.
At that point, I was starting to take it personally.
I narrowed my eyes as it hovered a short distance away; it was toying with me…
"You're dead, moz…"
The mosquito, somehow, didn't seem moved by my words. It came in one more time, aiming for the back of my hand.
And then I heard it.
CLINK!
Justice was now mine, as the sound reverberated in my head.
The mosquito landed, and its tiny little mouth jabbed down toward my skin…but nothing happened.
It tried again and again.
I stared as the mosquito pulled back, hovered in place, then landed once, pushing down harder, but still nothing.
For a second, I swear the thing looked confused.
I slowly turned my head and looked at it. Then, little by little, a grin stretched across my face.
Ugly was probably the right word for it.
"Got you."
My hand snapped out.
SMACK!
When I opened my palm, the mosquito was now just a tiny smear. I wiped my hand on the tree bark with a quiet chuckle.
That clicking sound had changed my life. Though, to be fair, it had technically started a lot earlier than this.
And it'd started with a grape of all things.
…
The last thing I remembered before dying was panic, shame, and the horrifying realisation that I was about to lose a fight to fruit.
A grape specifically.
Not a car or Truck-kun. I didn't die protecting anyone or even doing anything remotely cool. No, instead, my grand exit from life had been me choking like an idiot over something small, round, and embarrassingly edible.
Even now, remembering it, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
Though my embarrassment quickly passed when I realised I was standing in a void of just empty white in every direction. No floor, no sky, no horizon, just an endless space of white.
I blinked a few times, rubbed my throat, then paused. I swallowed.
No obstruction either.
My eyes widened a little. I'm so getting clowned right now ￣へ￣
"Ahy man," I muttered, staring blankly ahead.
I then heard this strange sound. I looked around to see if there was anything out there, and right on cue, something stood behind me now.
A humanoid, sort of. It was mostly this silhouette, tall and pitch-black, that contrasted with the endless white, its outline shifting just enough to make my eyes struggle to settle on it.
It made that sound again.
I blinked. "Is that meant to be your name?"
The figure was silent for a moment, then the sound came once more, carrying with it an answer I somehow understood.
"Lower beings cannot comprehend my true name."
I stared.
Then I nodded slowly. "Right. So yes, then?"
There was a pause.
I don't know why, but that made me like it a little.
There was something interesting about meeting what was apparently some higher-dimensional cosmic existence and finding out it was basically introducing itself with audio corruption.
I folded my arms. "So. I'm dead."
"Yes."
"Because I choked on a grape."
Another pause.
"Yes."
"Amazing. Ended by a grape," I sighed, facepalming. Eventually, I looked back up. "So what now? Heaven? Hell? Reincarnation? Eternal torment?"
The silhouette shook its head, and a sound came from it again.
"You are dead. But it also means you are available."
I stared at it. "Available?"
"Yes. A dispute is taking place between the Higher beings."
I blinked. "Gods, you mean."
"If the term helps you, sure."
"Why do I feel like I'm about to be dragged into something stupid?" I raised a brow.
The figure made that same sound again, maybe a sigh this time?
"Because you are."
I let out a slow breath through my nose. "Thanks for the honesty, I guess"
The silhouette stood still, and I folded my arms.
"Alright. What kind of dispute?" I continued..
"Power-scaling."
I just looked at it, then I scratched my head. "I'm sorry…power-scaling!?"
"Yes."
"You're telling me gods argue about this sorta thing?"
"Yes." The being sighed again.
I stared for a long second, then looked away into the blank void and laughed once sharply. "That's so…bleak."
"Indeed", the figure agreed. "And this particular disagreement has persisted longer than it has need to"
What did I have to do with this?
I'm nothing special, nor an intense powerscaler (like some people)
"Mahoraga."
That got my attention fast enough that all my building irritation stumbled over itself.
I frowned. "Mahoraga."
"Yes."
"And?"
"And the world of One Piece."
My mouth opened.
Then closed.
Then opened again. "Hang on."
The figure waited.
"You mean One Piece."
"Yes."
"The actual world. Pirates, Devil Fruits, giant sea monsters, all of it?"
"Yes."
"And Mahoraga?"
"Yes."
I took a step forward without thinking. "You're sending me to One Piece with Mahoraga's adaptation?"
"Yes."
For a second, I forgot to breathe, which was impressive considering I'd already died once today from a lack of air, because this was truly ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. Bizarre even.
I tried very hard to keep a normal face, but it failed immediately. "That's... you can't just drop that on a person." I pressed a hand to my head. "Do you understand how long people spend imagining stuff like this?"
"You are pleased." The figure responded.
I coughed. "That's not the point."
It was absolutely the point.
I was going to One Piece, like, actually going there.
With powers!
I looked back at the silhouette and, because I was still me despite the death and void and divine nonsense, the next question came out before I could stop it.
"Do I get a harem?"
Silence.
I winced. "Right. Sorry. Dumb question"
The figure, thankfully, ignored me.
"To preserve internal consistency, the power will not be granted directly and will take the form of a Devil Fruit."
That made sense fast enough.
I nodded quickly.
"You will not enter that world as you currently are."
I blinked. "Wait, what?"
"You will be reborn."
"As a baby?"
"Yes."
"Oh, come on!"
"It is the cleanest method."
I squinted at it. "You're enjoying this a little, aren't you?"
It once again continued as though I hadn't spoken.
"You will be reborn in the East Blue, approximately twenty years before canon"
I laughed under my breath, mostly because of the absurdity of the situation.
"So let me get this straight," I said.
The silhouette waited.
"You gods got into a power-scaling argument, decided to use me to settle it, you're sending me into One Piece, giving me a Devil Fruit based on Mahoraga's adaptation, and your idea of a fair objective is for me to become the strongest being alive."
"Yes."
"Alright," I said "So when do I start?"
"Now."
"W-wait, hold on—"
The world vanished.
…
End of Chapter
Word Count - 1365