If Deadpool had been the one choosing, he would've picked the Marshmallow Fruit without hesitation.
Better value.
More potential.
But the problem was, this fruit wasn't for him.
It was for Vanessa.
And when women buy things… well, everyone knows how that goes.
You could never expect them to weigh the pros and cons with the same cold logic men used.
So what else could Deadpool do?
"Boss, then let's go with the Outfit Fruit."
He didn't hesitate for long before making the decision.
"And boss, this Outfit Fruit is also one million dollars, right?"
"Yes, Wade. The store's discount period still hasn't ended, so same as before, it's only seven hundred thousand dollars."
Rorschach nodded.
"Still thirty percent off? Boss, I introduced you to a customer, and now I even brought my wife here. You're not gonna cut me a little more slack?"
Deadpool immediately started bargaining.
"Wade, a thirty percent discount is already very generous."
Rorschach shook his head.
Besides, the prices were set by the system anyway. It wasn't like he could casually change them on a whim.
"But Wade, I'm not going to let your help go unrewarded. You and Vanessa will both get membership privileges."
That instantly caught Deadpool's attention.
"Boss, what kind of privileges do members get?"
"There are quite a few."
Rorschach smiled and explained.
"For example, ordinary customers can only buy up to three Devil Fruits from me. Members aren't limited to three."
"And when auctions happen in the future, members will also have priority."
"Beyond that, there will be other exclusive benefits reserved for members. You'll find out when the time comes."
"That sounds pretty damn good!"
Deadpool was clearly pleased.
"Then it's settled, boss. Vanessa and I are both members now."
Truthfully, all that talk about discounts had only been talk.
Deadpool understood perfectly well what kind of market this was.
Devil Fruits were the kind of thing people could only dream of encountering.
This was absolutely a seller's market, not a buyer's market.
Discounts?
The fact that you could even buy one at all was already a blessing.
And besides, even though the boss looked harmless enough, anyone who could casually sell something as absurd as Devil Fruits was obviously no ordinary man.
Without question, he was some terrifying big shot.
If a man like that gave you the chance to latch onto him, you should be thanking your lucky stars.
If you even had the opportunity to introduce customers to him, that was an honor.
Anyone arrogant enough to think they'd done something incredible would be the real idiot.
"Wade, I remember the support you've given this shop."
Rorschach smiled warmly at him.
"With that from you, boss, I didn't help for nothing."
Deadpool reached down, grabbed the briefcase, and dropped it onto the counter with a solid thump.
"Boss, you take cash here, right?"
He flipped open the case, revealing stacks upon stacks of U.S. dollars filling most of it.
"Of course."
After a quick check to make sure everything was in order, Rorschach kept the money, then took the Outfit Fruit out of the display case and placed it in Vanessa's hands.
Vanessa held the strange-looking fruit with both hands, staring at it again and again.
If not for what had happened to Wade, she never would have believed that such a weird little thing could contain power this incredible.
"Wade... this thing really tastes that awful?"
She suddenly remembered something and shot Deadpool a glance.
"It tastes worse than shit."
Deadpool nodded with absolute seriousness.
"Sweetheart, let me give you a tip. When you eat it, hold your breath. Or pinch your nose. Whatever you do, don't breathe—"
"Oh, come on, Wade."
Rorschach laughed from the side.
"Vanessa, you only need to take a small bite and swallow it."
"Devil Fruits taste terrible, yes, but you don't need to eat the whole thing. One bite is enough."
"What?"
Deadpool froze on the spot like he'd just been struck by lightning.
"Boss... what did you just say? One bite is enough?"
"You're sure?"
"You're absolutely sure?"
He stared blankly at Rorschach and asked the same thing again and again.
"Wade, I never told you that you had to eat the whole fruit, did I?"
Rorschach did his best not to laugh, though honestly, it was getting hard to hold it in.
"Shit!"
"What have I done?!"
Deadpool completely broke down.
He had actually eaten an entire Devil Fruit.
The whole thing.
World, why are you so cruel to me?
"Hahaha! Wade, looks like you really did something stupid."
Vanessa covered her mouth and burst out laughing, laughing so hard her whole body shook.
"Boss, why didn't you tell me back then?"
Deadpool looked at Rorschach like a man whose soul had left his body.
"I was going to," Rorschach said helplessly, spreading his hands. "But Wade, you were too fierce. Before I could even get the words out, you'd already finished the whole thing. What was I supposed to do?"
"Wade, I'm starting."
Vanessa called out to him, then took a deep breath and gently bit off a small piece of the Devil Fruit.
"Mm—!"
As always, the taste hit like a nightmare.
Her entire face twisted instantly.
It took everything she had just to force down that single bite without spitting it back out.
"Wade... you're telling me you actually ate an entire fruit?"
Vanessa turned toward Deadpool with the kind of awe one reserved for true monsters.
One bite alone felt like enough to end her life.
She genuinely couldn't imagine how Wade had managed to eat the whole thing.
Monster.
An absolute monster.
"I'm going to get mocked for this for the rest of my life, aren't I? Fine, I accept it. This is a stain I'll never wash off. Boss, this is all your fault."
Deadpool looked at Rorschach with deep resentment.
Then he immediately turned toward Vanessa, unable to hold back.
"Sweetheart, how do you feel?"
"It's incredible! Wade, it's a feeling I've never experienced before. So this is what a Devil Fruit is like?"
Vanessa cried out in amazement, full of wonder.
Then she started trying to control her new power.
Whoosh!
A huge, rough piece of cloth suddenly appeared around her body, clumsily wrapping itself over her like an oversized rag.
"Wade, look! It's real! I really made clothes!"
Vanessa was so excited she nearly started dancing.
"Sweetheart... while I'm not sure that thing can really be called clothes," Deadpool said with a completely serious expression as he looked her up and down, "I have to admit, it actually doesn't look bad on you."
"Wait a second."
Then he pulled out a gun, aimed it directly at Vanessa, and said matter-of-factly:
"Let me test how bulletproof it is."