Chapter 95: Kaguya's Triple-A Game.
...
"AAAARGH, I'm so MAD — this GARBAGE game!"
Kaguya flung her controller onto the desk, collapsed back into her bean bag chair, and commenced a full-body tantrum — gnashing her teeth, flailing her arms, kicking her feet. One moment she was a vision of timeless elegance; the next, a black-haired gremlin in freefall.
Kihara looked at her with the gentle, patient eyes of a man watching a very beloved idiot.
"I told you not to touch Black Myth: Wukong. That game has broken the will of entire communities of hardened veterans."
"Then why didn't you stop me?"
"I did. You didn't listen."
"I—"
Before she could finish, Kihara reached over and pressed his index finger lightly against her lips. The faint stickiness at his fingertip was from the Coke she'd been drinking.
He gave a thin smile. "Were you about to say 'I don't care, I raged and that makes it your fault somehow'? Afraid that logic doesn't work on me. You ignored your friend's advice, you raged, and you have earned every moment of it."
The butterflies that had launched into frantic flight in Kaguya's chest the instant he touched her lips — thud, gone. Like a baby deer that had barely stepped onto a highway before getting launched ten feet into the air by a freight truck, executing a flawless three-and-a-half rotation, and landing in the serenest stillness imaginable.
If I have a heart of concrete, it is entirely this wooden man's fault.
Watching the ruby light in Kaguya's beautiful eyes slowly dim from vibrant to dead-fish, Kihara mistook it for repentance. Satisfied, he lifted his finger from her lips and brought it to his nose for a curious sniff.
"You actually use yuzu lip balm. That's unexpected."
"YOU ABSOLUTE— how do you just sniff the finger you had on my mouth?!"
"Didn't you once tell me that beautiful girls are all soft and sweet-smelling?" He looked genuinely puzzled. "Why wouldn't I investigate?"
Continuing this conversation would only result in a stress-induced early death. Kaguya gathered the ruins of her dignity, climbed out of the bean bag, and padded across the tatami on white-stockinged feet — tap tap tap — to the refrigerator, from which she retrieved a cold can of Coke. She turned back. "Hey, blockhead. What do you want to drink?"
"Beautiful-girl-flavoured instant noodles."
"Get out."
"Thigh-high stocking milk tea."
Kaguya glanced down at her feet. Paused. Then, with a look of quiet resolve, she crouched down and actually began peeling off one stocking, revealing a foot as smooth and pale as a fresh bamboo shoot, and stood up holding it with clear intent toward the electric kettle.
Kihara launched himself across the room and wrapped his arms around both her legs.
"I'M SORRY — I was joking! That is a deeply niche beverage preference and I am not equipped to appreciate it, please have mercy!"
"Hmm. So I can keep you in line after all."
Kaguya's mouth curved with great satisfaction. She bent down and dropped the stocking into his hands. "Then put it back on for me."
"Fine."
He stood up efficiently, hooked his thumb inside the cuff and rolled the stocking down — folding it with practiced ease until the entire over-the-knee stocking had been collapsed into a neat little ring — then gave the back of Kaguya's flawless foot a light tap.
"Give me your foot."
He slipped the stocking on and drew it smoothly upward into place, his expression no different from someone tying their own shoelaces.
Kaguya felt a small, private pang. She'd been hoping for at least a reaction. But this was simply who he was — somehow always completely composed in exactly the moments you least expected it.
She settled back and tilted her head. "Hey, blockhead. What if I made a triple-A game myself?"
"Do you actually know what triple-A means?"
"Obviously. I use AI for the art, AI for the voices, AI for the programming. Three AIs. Triple-A."
For one brief, treacherous moment, Kihara thought: she has a point.
Then he imagined actually agreeing to this, and then being forced to play whatever architectural disaster she produced, while she watched his face with expectant eyes.
He shook his head firmly. "Every profession is a mountain unto itself. Stick to being an elite gamer. Besides — if you're off making a game, who am I going to play with?"
"...Okay, that's actually a fair point."
It had only been a passing whim anyway. Kaguya had no real desire to cut into their gaming time — and even if she used her Hourai ability to fast-forward through the development process, those accelerated hours would still be hours she spent alone.
She had grown too accustomed to having him around. The person she used to be — the one who could spend centuries alone without ever feeling the lack — felt very distant now. She much preferred this: bickering and laughing and playing side by side.
"Forget the game idea. Let's just keep playing!"
"Speaking of games—" He raised his voice slightly. "Yukari, come over for a minute. I need to run something by you."
A gap split open mid-air without ceremony and deposited a golden-haired older beauty directly into his lap — wearing nothing but a crop top that read 'YOU LOSE THE MOMENT YOU START WORKING'. Yukari's considerable softness and weight settled against him with gravitational authority.
Yukari-mom voluntarily delivering fan service can only mean one thing: there is a trap somewhere in this room. I will find it before I celebrate.
His expression of intense wariness made Yukari purse her lips in mild offence. She shifted languidly out of his lap and draped herself sideways across the bean bag chair, one slender hand raised to cover a delicate yawn.
"Go ahead then. What did you want to discuss?"
"You know how convenient modern infrastructure is in the outside world. I'm planning to build cell towers and signal stations in Pelican Town — and eventually, I'd like to bring that kind of quality-of-life technology to Gensokyo as well. I wanted to hear your thoughts before I started anything."
"Not every youkai will take kindly to it,"
Yukari said, her gaze drifting toward the ceiling. "Before you do anything, I'd suggest talking to the kappas. They've already been tinkering with their own strange technology for years — they'll know better than anyone how to approach this without causing friction."
"So you're on board?"
"Mm. With the condition that none of it turns Gensokyo into the same steel-and-concrete jungle as the outside world. The mystery has to be preserved. Beyond that — if the youkai accept it, I have no objections."
"Got it. I'll find time to visit Nitori at some point."
"Nothing else? I'm going back to sleep."
"Safe travels, don't let the door hit you."
Yukari's curvaceous silhouette dissolved back into a gap. A half-second later, two sharp shoves hit Kihara from behind — and before he could turn around, a hand-sketched blueprint smacked him directly in the face.
"Blockhead. What do you think of this for the signal tower design?"
He peeled the paper off his face and studied it. Every structural element was bamboo.
"You can't just have a bamboo fixation because you're Kaguya-hime. And a fully wooden structure — what happens if it catches fire in summer?"
"Are you stupid?"
She stared at him with the frank, uncomplicated pity of someone watching a person struggle with basic arithmetic.
"You build the tower and then I walk over and cast a Permanence buff on it. Problem solved forever."
"...Holy — that's genius. Why didn't I think of that?"
He seized Kaguya's soft hand in both of his, eyes suddenly blazing with the fervour of a man who has glimpsed the future.
"Whether we ever get to play online multiplayer together rests entirely in your hands, Lady Kaguya."
"Hmph. You can flatter me a little more, you know."
"That costs extra."
Kaguya's fist went rock-hard with indignation. She swung at his eye socket without further warning.
"OW — she's going for sneak attacks now — eat my — no wait — True chivalry transcends all gender — TASTE MY C-ALLIANCE GRAND THEATRE STORM BOMB SUPLEX!!!!"
.....
Thank you for reading.