Chapter 52: Patchouli: You're Giving Me the Dark Bible?
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After bidding farewell to a thoroughly drunk Ibuki Suika and a strangely radiant Kochiya Sanae, Kihara made his way to the Scarlet Devil Mansion. There, he finally met the legendary gatekeeper who was practically never at her post — Hong Meiling.
She stood leaning against the gate pillar with her arms crossed, head drooping as she dozed off. Just as Kihara wondered whether he should snap a photo and report her to Remilia, a circle of throwing knives suddenly appeared out of thin air and embedded themselves neatly around her body.
"Mr. Kihara, the young mistress has been waiting for you. Please follow me."
The elegant chief maid stood at the
entrance, her ice-blue eyes glancing coldly at the now petrified Hong Meiling. "My apologies that you had to witness the gatekeeper slacking off. I will discipline her strictly afterward."
"N-Nooo! I already have no salary left to deduct this month!"
"Then we'll deduct it from your meal expenses."
"How can you do that?!"
Feeling a twinge of pity, Kihara spoke up for her. "Maybe your gatekeeper just didn't sleep well last night?"
"Waaah~ Kihara-kun, you're actually defending me! I thought you were some perverted thief who only comes to steal the young mistress's panties. I was wrong about you — you're a good person!"
Hearing Meiling's dramatic sobbing, Kihara's brief moment of kindness instantly vanished. He dropped his smile and added with a straight face, "Not sleeping well probably means she was up to no good last night, and it even affected her daily duties. She needs strict punishment. Change every meal to hay from now on."
"Why?! Hay is way too much! I'm not a cow — how am I supposed to eat grass and produce milk?!"
So you'd accept it if it was something else?
Kihara couldn't help wondering if Hong Meiling's digestive system was on the same level as Yuyuko's.
After the brief commotion at the gate, Kihara entered the Scarlet Devil Mansion as usual to provide blood for Remilia and Flandre. Compared to the second young mistress who casually sat on his lap and bit his neck, the originally dignified eldest daughter had also started changing her habits.
She had moved from his arm to his shoulder, claiming that blood closer to the heart tasted richer and more delicious.
Kihara wasn't a vampire, and Shinobu had never drunk blood either, so he couldn't verify the claim. Still, being able to grow closer to her this way wasn't a bad thing.
"Mmm… Your blood is as delicious as always. It's almost on par with Sakuya's black tea."
Remilia elegantly wiped her crimson lips with a handkerchief, her eyes filled with clear satisfaction toward Kihara as her high-quality blood bag.
"Flan really likes big brother too!"
"Flan! Remember to wipe your mouth properly after drinking blood. We can't disgrace the Scarlet family name. Come here — let me clean it for you."
"Okay~"
After carefully wiping her little sister's mouth, Remilia nodded in satisfaction. She took Flandre's hand and hopped off Kihara's lap, then instructed Sakuya, "Sakuya, I'll leave the rest to you."
"Please leave it to me, young mistress."
"Mm."
…
Inside the guest room that was starting to feel more and more like a lovers' suite, Sakuya tossed her black silk gloves — now stained with white wax — into the laundry basket. She stood up and opened the window to let the lingering intimate air escape. Her cold eyes flicked toward Kihara.
"Please watch your diet. Try not to eat too much meat. If the smell is too strong, it will trouble me."
"Don't you think you should be getting used to it by now?"
"If it weren't for the young mistress's orders, do you think I would do this sort of thing for you?"
Kihara grinned as he pulled up his pants and teased, "If Remilia becomes my wife someday, does that mean you'll have to listen to me too?"
Sakuya's eyes narrowed sharply. Her ice-cold gaze sliced across him like a blade.
"Keep dreaming. Weren't you looking for Miss Patchouli? She's waiting for you in the library. Please leave this room immediately and stop interfering with my work."
"What a cold chief maid. The moment the gloves come off, you stop recognizing people."
Kihara joked lightly, then quickly fled the room under Sakuya's murderous glare.
"Haa… What a difficult guest…"
Sixteen Night Sakuya let out a long sigh. As a woman, she didn't have much fondness for Kihara. But as the chief maid, she couldn't ignore the possibility he had mentioned.
Lately, both the young mistress and the second young mistress had been bringing up Kihara far more often.
Following the familiar path to the underground library that resembled a castle built from stacked books, Kihara quickly found Patchouli Knowledge relaxing on a rocking chair, leisurely reading.
"Mr. Kihara, you've come… cough cough… Sorry… I'm not feeling my best. Please take a seat… cough cough cough…"
"Patchouli, you spend every day in this damp, dusty underground library. Doesn't that make your asthma worse? I have some treatment potions from another world. Want to try one?"
"Cough… Then I'll give it a try…"
Patchouli reached out to take the red potion Kihara offered. She tugged at the wooden cork twice, but it didn't budge. Her toes curled up awkwardly inside her shoes.
"Hahahaha, I knew you couldn't open it.
Without magic, you're basically a weakling."
His teasing laughter nearly triggered another asthma attack out of pure anger.
How could someone be so clueless about the mood? Not only did he not help, he even mocked her!
Patchouli held the potion bottle up to him and spoke through gritted teeth, one word at a time: "Help. Me. Open. It!"
"Oh, right away!"
Sensing the killing intent radiating from her, Kihara quickly dropped his grin. He pulled out the cork for her, then gently pinched her soft, chubby cheeks with his left hand to open her mouth slightly. With his right hand, he carefully poured the potion in.
Gulp… gulp…
Patchouli's eyes widened in surprise. A flash of panic crossed her violet pupils. She hadn't expected Kihara to be so thorough — not only removing the cork, but actually feeding her the medicine.
Having spent years secluded in the basement, either reading or writing books, she had very little experience interacting with others. She didn't know how to react, so she could only obediently drink the potion he fed her.
Once the bottle was empty, the last few drops of liquid lingered in Patchouli's mouth without being swallowed. Acting on muscle memory from feeding medicine to dogs in the past, Kihara instinctively held her chin and gently shook her head left and right.
Only after hearing a soft gulp did he realize how ridiculous his actions had been. He quickly pulled his hand back with an awkward expression. "How do you feel? Any better?"
"Besides feeling warm all over… not much improvement… cough… Still, thank you for the potion. Do you have any more? I'd like two bottles for experiments."
"No problem. I also brought you some magic books from another world as a gift. So… when can you start teaching me magic?"
"Thank you. If you want, we can begin right now."
Patchouli took the magic books and glanced at the titles. Her delicate brows furrowed slightly as she asked, "This one… What is the Dark Bible?"
"What the—??"
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Thank you for reading.