Current Status: Evaluating the cost-benefit ratio of my own sanity.
09:30 AM: I had to mediate a dispute in the Marketing Department. Apparently, a Senior Alpha and a Junior Omega "accidentally" touched hands on a stapler, and now the entire floor is "compromised."
09:45 AM: I arrived with a spray bottle of 70% isopropyl alcohol. I treated the stapler like a crime scene. I told them that if their "fated bond" was truly that powerful, it could survive a 10-minute Zoom call from separate buildings.
11:00 AM: Mr. Kim called me into his office. He was "brooding" by the window. He asked if I could "sense his turmoil." I told him I could sense his 11:30 meeting with the Board of Directors.
11:15 AM: He looked at me like I was an alien. "Miss Park, do you not feel the electricity in the air?" I told him that was actually a faulty wiring issue in the AC unit and I've already called an electrician. He gave me a $500 bonus to "leave him to his thoughts."
Note to self: I am starting to realise that being a "beta" is basically a superpower in this economy.