?? / ?? / ???? - ???????????, Border of Ascension.
"Ah…." A small gasp escaped under his breath, drifting along with wonder.
Losing his seat, the cold steel is missing. His feet touch nothing, dangling upwards, his body like a shrimp falling into the unknown.
His eyes are still reflecting those far, beautiful stars and the white ground that is slowly fading, but strangely… he feels nothing; his beating heart remains steady and unshaken.
'Tranquility.'
Is the last thought before he is swallowed by the darkness like a membrane. Face peaceful and serene, eyes gradually closing, leaving nothing but the crumbling scene.
…
An unknown number of times has passed.
Conscious, his clarity remains unchallenged.
'Cold and empty.'
He thought, muttering in his own space. The moment the darkness swallowed him, he felt isolated, physically and mentally, feeling nothing but himself.
When he comes into contact with it, like a cloud, soft and enveloping all over, but then, it eventually sticks to him like a quagmire, lost in his feelings and connection.
Thus, across boundless darkness, leaving him to fend for himself, but he is still indifferent to his surroundings or his state, and didn't give particular thought about it that much.
Then again, 'Persistence is what I'm best at after all…' after what he had gone through earlier, though there is some self-deprecation inside, it just strengthens his resolve further.
'I just had to correct my way…' his thought echoed to himself, '…for everything, to be whole together once again.' Like a ripple, as he feels his mind is a bit sluggish.
Dawn of light came through his eyelids.
The coldness tickled his skin, but it did not chill; it cooled over his self, gently and contradicted within; his body now stopped in motion, floating in a vacuum space, upside down.
'Are we there?'
Slowly opening his eyes, a breathtaking sight, or maybe it is an understatement.
"…" Mouth agape, a border between silver and darkness, at this intersection is a white light that comes from far away.
As he can't describe what is in front of his eyes at this very moment, his heart starts beating fast.
Between the vastness, his eyes are divided into just two color distinctions, the boundless color of silver beneath him and the inkling darkness above.
His eyes flicked sparkling, into the vast silver, to which he could get its own environmental meaning just by his sight.
The luminous surface is steadily undulating, glittering, reflecting a black dot above like a mirror.
And right over the surface of the "sea" are scattered things of black.
Squinting his eyes, it is a sight that is identifiable at a glance, like debris or the ruins of a place? His eyes widen slightly…
Ruins decorating above the surface of the silver sea, floating.
Then, lowering his head, which actually meant looking above, his eyes twitched slightly, partly in confusion and a hint of unease.
Space is in a tint of black, like ink, but amidst this darkness are various dots of stars, scattered and bright; this time, his heart and intuition are alarmed by something that is about to come.
Even for him, there is a feeling that as long as he gazes upwards towards these stars, he knows he is not alone.
For every wonder that actually spans so far away, he could see everything clearly, it's just like a link or connection, where distance doesn't matter, only thought and self, or willingness to be.
After admiring and contemplating the scenery for a while, his eyes widen slightly, though his face is still expressionless as it is, and his jaw tightens as he can feel some movement in his body.
'There is a pull, is this part of the procedure here?' At this moment, he had known it a long time ago that what was about to happen, but he didn't know if this was part of it.
His body is gaining weight, and the destination is… Silver Sea? It is a temporary name he gives, given its obvious characteristics, is now pulling him, raising his head, watching the faraway surface of silver.
"What could I even do in this situation, huh?" As every situation is unknown to him, the options of his action are limited, almost none, even in this situation.
Furthermore…
"…" His body is unresponsive once again, though it did not freeze or anything; he could do nothing aside from watching passively, just like a ghost trapped in a doll.
He is trying to stay calm and wait, as there is nothing that he could do, but then he found out that staying passive is also a luxury for him, as if he had a choice in the first place.
As his body is dragged downwards faster and faster, some force or things, unidentified, is filling his mind; it does not even hide itself.
Instinctively analyzing it, if what he felt earlier was cooling water, then now it is some liquid metal, perhaps; strangely, he pauses slightly mid-processing.
Though frowning, his head feels dizzy, 'Not good…' it is increasingly difficult to maintain his self, the feeling of dissociation is traveling through his mind, unraveling his very sense of self.
'Not again..'
With this thought at last, memory uncontrollably flashed like a blurry photo, one by one, of the knitted ball.
The threads of Shirakami Akane are being unraveled.
…
"Wow, amazing! Little Irina will surely be a great painter one day, wouldn't she? Hehehe…" Like looking through a thin film, through the observer's point of view, there is no body, only vision.
"Heh, why would I be a painter? I will paint great art one day, and then put down every artist, then—"
Clear bell-like laughter rang bashfully, "—hehe, would it be wonderful if I turn them down one day and then became an unpainter myself, ahhhahaha…"
The voice is soft and warm, endearing. As it passed by his mind, he knew that she was genuinely proud of her child, a devil like her; his little sister was like a little angel in his mother's heart.
His nonexistent eyes are looking at this memory softly. If he was sad over this before, then what he feels right now is peace and also… restlessness, the dream to be whole once again.
Thus, he feels nothing but enjoyment, but it is not long before he feels that something is wrong.
"Then, nii-chan… would you like to try too?" The immersiveness breaks in a moment, as if piercing a layer of membrane in dreams, standing in place.
Dumbfounded, his eyes gleaming softly, as the two of them stare at him in this studio, his long-deceased mother and his sister.
"Why don't you join us?" His mother suggested, smiling, her white-silver hair gleaming under the sun's light, though her face was blurry.
Yes, blurry.
'This is not in the scene.' For a moment, or just in a matter of an instant as he falls to this place, his instinct is screaming out loud, though his face is plain and unresponsive.
The softness and rare emotions are mixed, but overwhelming him is another entirely new thing, an uninvited guest perhaps? Or a variable perhaps? It is rage and wrath, the restless transformed.
'How dare…' Gritting his teeth, his eyes gleamed red, and contained within is an impulse that rises uncontrollably, but he allows it, as he is not willing for someone to wear the skin of his loved ones and deceive him.
"Come join us, Akane?" The voice sounded once again, this time indistinct in its source, coming from all over the studio; looking around, his eyes scanning the surroundings, from the walls or the floors or anything.
"GO AWAY!" Clenching his teeth, he screamed, and the now unknown familiar memory is crumbling before his very eyes as the moment it knows, it just peels over its skin.
The scene of the memory dissipated, and thus the scene in front of him came into view, along with an irresistible voice in his mind that did not fade in the slightest.
Now, he is closer to the surface of the "Silver Sea" than he thought it would be, just a mere memory or second has passed, and unknowingly, he had come such a long way; then again, he still couldn't move his body.
Then, suddenly.
The voice of the collective, old, young, a baby, or even an animal, spoke in a sentence, "JOIN US!" The voice is like a wave that drowned everything; the agile and bright eyes are now dim, replaced by cool and soft light.
Slightly bluish silver, the light is diffused, distant, and hazy. But, there is a hint of red that persists in this corner of the well of color, unwilling to be drowned, unwilling to be snuffed out.
Yet, despite everything… can it really fight a force of nature itself? Give up, it is the voice like a lullaby in his mind, irresistible, pulling him below to merge with all, and give up all for the collective.
Until…
From the dark sky of unknown nothingness, without a sound or warning.
A flash of light like thunder streaked by; it travels faster than anything that could move, bypassing every perception or even thought that could process, and falls to Akane's floating body.
Two forces of color collided, bluish Moonlight Silver and the bright, radiant white Luminous Silver; the two complement each other, and both are piercing Akane's body from two sides.
And for Akane, inside his mind, consciousness emerged, the holistic and divine feeling brought along once more, silently feeling all things passively like an unresponsive or sluggish computer.
The dim Moonlight Silver is now overshadowed by Luminous Silver, the two are fighting, mixed in color, distinct yet indistinct, falling over to a balance that it has supposed to be, the two are merging.
Then, as the two are balanced, and like the chain is broken, both wisdom and clarity are coming back like an impulse, the dissociation and sluggishness are gradually leaving him, his body rose.
On one side is the pressure of the collective, and on the other side is the identity and uniqueness of the individual.
'There is no wrong or right answer.' That is the thought before his body is pulled to his own rightful place, passing over everything, the edge of his vision is distorted, thus he closed his eyes in exhaustion.
His body is glowing in soft yet cool light, but it is glowing in its own radiance, warm yet not cold, just in balance, as he falls into slumber, the suppressed burst of emotion seems to come along with all sensation.
Something he can't quite describe yet, the transformation over his body… is the last thought in his mind, as his body is still moving along its trajectory.
Like a star or other comet that he saw earlier, he now became a comet for his own destination and star, a Noctilucent Silver perhaps, his own name and glow.
Then—
A supernova, amidst a countless starry sky, the comet crashed through, and everything once again fell into darkness, unaware of everything in its blissful and comfortable sleep, like his mother's embrace.
———
Thought stirs in the darkness, the coherent has become incoherent.
But yet, it still struggles relentlessly, despite heaviness like lead, or exhaustion from overworking.
Faster than it notices, familiar terms and associations are coming quickly, to which there is no clarity but confusion.
'Warm…'
Rustling sound drifted to his own ears, rhythmic and pure, along with a howling sound, a wind. Along with this, he recognizes feelings that tickle his bare skin; it is like a fine and thin feeling that is constantly grazing on your skin, waves after waves, and—
'Cold…'
The breeze flew by, brushing on his skin, bringing along a chilly but humid wind, a surreal and contradictory feeling.
Yes, contradictory.
After registering and recognizing over feeling, slowly and surely, clarity reemerged from the dark depths of a well, then, eyes gradually opened.
Blurry gaze is staring at the swaying light and darkness, forcing him to squint his eyes slightly to adapt to the light, and after a while, the view becomes clear.
His face is pensive and pale, like drained of blood, stiff and frozen looking over the sky, it is a dense leaf of a tree, and the light of the sun that falls over the sky.
'Wait… sun?' as the feelings appear, his head fully sobers up, though the exhaustion is pulling this clarity to its low energy state.
Examining his body, his hands grasping the ground, the soft and sharp feeling of grass, a bit of dirt, his hands tight. Propping his upper body slightly, he looks at the back of a lonely tree that shades him.
After knowing it is a tree, his face relaxed slightly and he pushed the ground slightly to lean towards the tree, and… to overlook what's beyond this tree.
Shielding his face from the light, the brightness receded, allowing him to see the scenery in front of him.
Vast green meadow with no end in sight, there are some small undulating hills far beyond, and raising his head slightly, his eyes squinting, is a boundless blue sky, along with clouds that are drifting lazily.
The scenery seems peaceful and serene, a heaven perhaps. Lowering his eyes, the tense and exhausted body gradually relaxes, fully leaning and relying on the trunk of the tree.
'Is it over…?' It is what he thought, as he felt the comfort, breathing softly, eyes narrowed to a slit, resting his head on. Unconsciously, as his mind is relaxed, the experience of earlier passed by.
Trial after Trial.
Gripping his hands over the grass, he felt the heaviness and pain of what he had gone through. An unknown time has passed, nor can he ever control it, even by knowing it.
'What a waste…' he mocks himself.
From the moment he saw that door, he believed in himself, entering by knowing that he could handle everything, and it taught him a lesson for his overconfidence.
Opening his eyes slightly, his eyes are clear with a hint of red, looking over the blue sky through the dense leaves, it is like his self at that time, he is looking through this narrow point of view.
'Believing that he could control everything…' thus he let go of everything, to be tossed and played over the things that he can't control, his body leans forward slightly, looking at his own hands.
Clenching it, he feels it deeply, those helpless moments of powerlessness, clenching his hands, feeling the pain over countless iterations that he feels, the symbolism of the seed and imperfections of self.
"If you have to just do what you can do… then, I have to work hard, hard enough to ensure that every work is rewarded the way I work at it, but—" though there is another thing that tugs his strings deep inside him.
"—just hard enough to be able to achieve everything, no matter what the cost, even then, I wouldn't regret anything." Is this the change for the better, or is this wisdom inherently flawed from the start?
He didn't care, he will accept what he is.
Just do what he can do, and play it at the right time.
"Huhhhh…." Closing his eyes for a while and letting out a breath after this short session of reflection, he adjusts himself, for there is another last matter that he has to do.
"Let's review our moment of 'Ascension'." Opening his eyes slowly, he props his body up and stands, swaying slightly with the unfamiliar body, he leans towards the trunk for a while.
Then, after a moment of breath, he walks steadily, letting go of his hands, out of the shade of the tree to fully view his own 'Realm'.
And only now, then, can he see it clearly, his messy hair is ruffled by the breeze, blowing upon his shirt as he stands at a slightly taller hill over his location.
Not far from him is the familiar one that got brought along, causing him to raise his eyebrows.
In one of the hills, standing side by side are a Golden Door and a Maroon Door, and then, looking a bit downwards, is a pool of water.
"What is this?" Full of questions, he is familiar with those two doors, but then again, there is no one to answer; it is a pool of water the size of a pond, sparkling blue, reflecting the scenery of the skies above.
'Let's ignore all things for a moment, focus on the current task.' With this thought, his eyes flashed in a bit of bluish-white-silver; he can't help it, as there is a sense of urgency in his heart.
The matter of exploring this realm can come later; he needs to view his gains quickly and come back to Reality.
'Just how much time has passed this time?' The last time he slept was 9 months ago; he is a bit reluctant to sleep for a while after this, which is why what he does this time is a bit careless on his part.
'Then again, who would foresee these things, dammit?' Thought last, he closes his eyes and digs deep into his mind, and unknowingly, without his own knowledge, something has been added quietly.
It feels like something that you suddenly remember rather than knowing it has never been there, though he is a bit creeped out as his heart chills, he still pulls this knowledge over and reads it out.
Thus, his pale face is solemn and indifferent.
…
You have crossed the first threshold of the principle that asks: what makes a thing itself? Not it's matter, not its motion — but the coherent pattern that persists through both. You have touched, at its most surface expression, the domain that governs how that pattern observes, collects, and understands itself and everything around it.
You are not yet what this Interpretation will make you. You are what it has chosen to begin with. Do not mistake surface for simplicity. Every Treader who has ever reached the depths of this Interpretation passed through where you stand now. The foundation is not beneath the work — it is the work, seen from the beginning.
The first expression of the Soul principle at the level of Wisdom and Knowledge is the capacity to perceive the coherent information state of things directly — not their surface appearance, not the impression they project, but the underlying pattern that constitutes what they actually are.
Where Observation detects the coherence pattern of a thing, Analysis processes what that pattern contains — extracting the informational content held within the coherent structure and rendering it comprehensible within your cognitive framework.
…