Chapter 64– Keifer's Letter (Part One)
Nobody touched the room after that.
Not really.
The atmosphere had become too heavy to breathe in.
Too full of JJ.
---
And in the center of it all—
Keifer still held his unopened letter.
The biggest one.
The one everyone had been silently terrified of.
Because if JJ wrote goodbye to the others with that much love—
then whatever she wrote to Keifer would probably destroy him completely.
---
Keifer stared at the envelope for a very long time.
His name written there in messy handwriting.
Not "Keifer Watson."
Not "Idiot."
Not "Gago."
Just—
"Keifer."
Simple.
Soft.
Too intimate.
---
His fingers trembled slightly touching the paper.
Because suddenly he understood something horrifying:
JJ probably wrote this knowing it would be the last time she ever spoke to him.
---
Nobody rushed him.
Nobody interrupted.
Even Cin stayed quiet.
---
Finally—
Keifer opened it.
Slowly.
Carefully.
Like the paper itself could break.
---
Several folded pages slipped out.
A tiny polaroid photo fell beside them.
JJ asleep against his shoulder during the camp trip.
His head resting lightly against hers.
Both peaceful.
Happy.
Alive.
---
Keifer froze staring at it.
Because he didn't even know someone took that picture.
And suddenly—
his chest hurt so badly he almost couldn't breathe.
---
Then he unfolded the first page.
And immediately saw tear stains.
So many.
Some words blurred completely.
Like JJ cried while writing almost every line.
---
Keifer swallowed hard.
Then started reading silently.
---
"Hi hubby."
The room shattered quietly already.
Because everyone heard JJ's voice instantly.
---
Keifer's hand covered his eyes briefly.
Breathing uneven now.
Then continued.
---
"Or should I say Mr. Watson because apparently you became all billionaire CEO dramatic now."
A weak laugh escaped through tears somewhere in the room.
Probably Percy.
---
"I wanted to start this letter normally."
"But every time I try, I start crying again and then Snorlax looks at me judgmentally from the bed."
Keifer smiled painfully immediately.
Because of course she mentioned Snorlax.
---
Then the next line came.
And everything inside him started collapsing.
---
"Keifer… I don't know how to leave you properly."
Silence filled the room instantly.
Heavy.
Sharp.
---
Keifer stopped breathing for a second.
Because those words felt too raw.
Too honest.
---
"I think loving you became part of me too naturally."
"Like breathing."
---
His grip on the paper tightened immediately.
Eyes burning now.
---
"And maybe that's why this hurts so much."
"Because for the first time in my life… I wanted to stay."
---
A tear slipped down Keifer's face silently.
Then another.
---
Because that sentence alone carried everything.
JJ had spent her whole life surviving.
Running.
Enduring.
And somehow—
he became the reason she finally wanted a future.
---
"You made me greedy, hubby."
"Before you, surviving until tomorrow was enough for me."
"Then suddenly I wanted years."
"Marriage."
"Your stupid surname."
---
Keifer broke immediately there.
Actually bent forward slightly trying to breathe through it.
Because she really thought about that.
A future.
Their future.
---
"I started imagining waking up beside you when we were old and annoying."
"I imagined your brothers calling me ate forever."
"I imagined stealing your hoodies until we both died."
---
His shoulders trembled now.
Completely unable to stop it anymore.
---
"I even imagined little babies with your eyes."
The room went silent again.
Devastatingly silent.
Because everyone remembered that stupid pregnancy misunderstanding.
The jokes.
The laughter.
And now it hurt unbearably.
---
Keifer covered his mouth briefly.
Eyes shut tightly.
Because hearing her say that after she disappeared felt like someone tearing his heart open slowly.
---
"And God… I loved those dreams so much."
---
The paper shook in his hands now.
---
"That's why I ran."
Silence.
---
"Because staying while dying slowly in front of you would've destroyed me."
"Watching your eyes lose hope day by day would've destroyed me."
"And I know you, Keifer."
"You would've burned the whole world trying to save me."
---
Keifer laughed once weakly through tears.
Because yes.
He would have.
Without hesitation.
---
"But I didn't want your whole life becoming hospitals and fear and countdowns."
"You already lost too much."
---
His breathing became uneven again.
Because JJ still thought about protecting him while she herself was dying.
---
"You deserve more than watching someone you love disappear slowly."
---
"No."
The word escaped Keifer instantly.
Broken.
Shaking.
---
Everyone looked at him quietly.
But he didn't notice.
Couldn't notice.
---
Because right now—
it felt like JJ was sitting in front of him apologizing for dying.
And that was unbearable.
---
He looked back down at the letter desperately.
Almost angry now.
As if reading faster could somehow bring her back.
---
Then came the line that destroyed him completely.
---
"You were my safest love, Keifer."
"My happiest place."
"My home."
---
Keifer finally cried openly then.
No control left.
No pride left.
Nothing.
---
Because nobody had ever called him home before.
Not even once.
---
And JJ—
the girl who entered his life like chaos wrapped in sunlight—
had somehow loved him deeply enough to make him feel needed, chosen, human.
---
The final paragraph of the first pages looked shakier.
More desperate.
---
"I'm scared, hubby."
Silence.
Everyone looked down immediately.
Because that line hurt too much.
---
"I act brave a lot but… I'm really scared."
"Not of dying."
"Of leaving you."
---
Keifer physically stopped reading for several seconds.
Completely shattered.
Because suddenly—
all he could picture was JJ writing this alone in the middle of the night while crying silently so nobody would hear her.
---
Keifer's Letter (Part Two)
Nobody spoke after the first part.
Nobody knew how to.
The room itself felt broken now.
Like JJ's words were still floating through the air refusing to leave.
---
Keifer sat motionless on the couch.
Letter trembling in his hands.
Eyes red.
Face completely shattered.
But he still turned the page.
Because no matter how much it hurt—
he needed every last word she left behind.
---
The second page had more tear stains.
Some sentences rewritten multiple times.
One corner crumpled badly.
Like JJ held it too tightly while crying.
---
Keifer swallowed hard.
Then continued reading silently.
---
"You know what my favorite thing about you was?"
A weak breath escaped him shakily.
Because there were too many answers.
---
"You never loved me carefully."
Silence.
---
"Everyone else always treated me like someone temporary once they knew."
"Fragile."
"Dying."
"A countdown."
---
Keifer's jaw tightened painfully.
Because he knew exactly what she meant.
The pity.
The fear.
The helplessness.
---
But then:
---
"You didn't."
"You still got jealous."
"Still flirted."
"Still called me wifey every five business seconds."
A weak laugh broke through his tears.
Percy cried harder beside Aries hearing that.
---
"You still looked at me like I was someone you planned to love forever instead of someone you were about to lose."
That sentence destroyed the room again.
---
Keifer lowered his head briefly.
Because God—
he did plan forever.
Still did.
---
"Thank you for that."
"Thank you for making me feel alive instead of sick."
---
His fingers tightened around the pages.
Almost desperate now.
---
"Do you remember the airport?"
"When I ran through everyone straight into your arms?"
Keifer's eyes shut immediately.
Of course he remembered.
Every second.
---
"That moment was my favorite memory."
"Because for a few seconds… everything felt normal."
"Like fate forgot to be cruel to us."
---
The tears wouldn't stop anymore.
Not for him.
Not for anyone listening.
---
"And the night before London…"
The words suddenly became shakier there.
Like JJ cried harder writing this part.
---
"That was the first time in my life I truly believed someone loved me enough to stay."
---
Keifer physically bent forward slightly.
Hand covering his eyes.
Completely broken.
Because she really remembered everything.
Every touch.
Every word.
Every promise.
---
"I almost told you the truth that night."
"I almost stayed."
"But then I looked at you…"
"And I realized I would never survive watching your heart break because of me slowly."
---
"No…"
The word escaped him again weakly.
Like he still wanted to argue with her even now.
---
"So please don't hate me for running."
"I think I was trying to protect the people I loved the only way I knew how."
---
Yuri quietly looked away.
Because that sounded exactly like JJ.
Destroying herself trying to save everyone else.
---
Then came another paragraph.
Smaller handwriting.
More unstable.
---
"Take care of Keigan and Keiren for me."
"And please don't become cold again after this."
---
Keifer froze slightly there.
Because JJ knew.
She knew exactly what losing her could turn him into.
---
"The world already tried very hard to turn you into something cruel."
"Don't let my death finish that job."
---
Silence swallowed the room whole.
Because nobody could even imagine what Keifer would become if JJ truly died.
---
Then—
the part none of them were ready for.
---
"And hubby…"
"If one day you fall in love again…"
Keifer's eyes snapped to the line instantly.
Already shaking his head before even reading further.
---
"Please let yourself."
The room went still.
Actually still.
---
"Please laugh again."
"Please marry someday."
"Please have the family we joked about."
---
Keifer stopped breathing.
Because no.
No no no.
That future belonged to her.
Only her.
---
But the letter continued mercilessly.
---
"I know you'll say nobody could replace me."
"And maybe nobody should."
"But that doesn't mean you deserve loneliness forever."
---
His tears dropped onto the page now.
Blurring the ink further.
---
"So if life gives you happiness again someday…"
"Don't reject it because of guilt toward me."
---
Keifer shook his head silently.
Completely unable to accept those words.
---
"Because loving you was the happiest thing that ever happened to me."
"And I don't want the ending of our story to become the ending of yours too."
---
The room was crying openly now.
Even Angelo looked away sharply.
Even Yuri's eyes were wet.
---
Then came the final part.
Tiny handwriting.
Messy.
Weak.
Like JJ barely finished it.
---
"Maybe in another universe…"
"I live long enough."
"Maybe there's a version of us somewhere fighting over food while our children scream in the background."
---
Keifer laughed through a sob hearing that.
Completely destroyed.
---
"So if you ever miss me too much…"
"Just imagine that universe exists somewhere."
"And maybe we're happy there."
---
Then the final lines.
The very last ones.
---
"Thank you for loving me like I was worth staying for."
"Thank you for being my first safe love."
"My almost forever."
---
Keifer's hands trembled violently now.
Barely holding the pages together.
---
And then—
the last sentence.
The one that finally shattered whatever remained of him.
---
"Goodbye, my Keifer."
"Please live long enough for the both of us."
--
"If love alone could keep me alive… I think I would've stayed forever with you."
---
The letter slipped from his hands.
Falling onto the floor silently.
And Keifer Watson—
the boy who survived everything—
finally broke completely.