Haruka
I sit at my usual place. The same desk near the window, notebook in front of me and pencil in hand. Sunlight shined through the glass, dust floating in the quiet. Students' voices buzz in the background; everything is as usual, just like always.
And then, he walks in.
Kaito Minase.
I look up at him. His hair is slightly messy, and his brown eyes scan the room as if he's looking for something. He has that grin—the one that always feels like a stab to my heart every time I see it.
I feel my chest tighten. I always feel this way when I see him. I don't know why I feel like this toward him. Maybe because he's handsome? Yeah, he's handsome as hell, but I've never felt this same way looking at other handsome guys. I've never felt this way about anyone but him.
But why? I don't know, and I hate that. I know I like him, but why him? Why him out of all these people? I don't want to feel this way. I hate it, but I can't stop it—even if I tried, I could never stop it. I look down at my notes, pretending to myself that I'm not affected by him.
I feel something in my chest every time I see him. I forced myself to solve the equations in my notebook, but my eyes keep peeping towards him and I can't stop. I inhaled slowly and went back to the equations, trying to avoid this conflict in my mind.
Even if I try to avoid these thoughts in my heart, I know better. I know I like him. I like him enough to notice every laugh, every glance, and every stupid little gesture he makes without even realizing it. I like him enough to make my perfect calm shiver.
I clenched my pencil tighter, trying to force my gaze down, but a part of me—stubborn, silent, and foolish—always wants him to notice me. I hated that I want it. I hate that I like him... or I hate him.
But a part of me knows that I don't, and I never can.