[Instant results]
[Little miss death wish at it again]
[My girl always finds a way to stir up something new]
[Hanabi: Just tell me—did the temperature drop or not?]
[It dropped alright. Dropped so hard everyone froze]
[But I feel like Director Hanabi isn't usually like this? Why's she going so hard now?]
[There must be a deeper meaning…?]
[Bottom line: if you can't figure out what's going on, it's definitely one of Director Hanabi's plays]
[My girl is incredible]
[Lady Hanabi, I'm your loyal simp!]
"Hey, hey, hey—now's not the time to be picking fights." Kabuto Yakushi sounded exasperated. "The guys behind you are Rain ninja. They've got short fuses. Try to keep a low profile before the exam, yeah?"
Kabuto was struggling to hold it together.
His original plan had been to make contact with these rookie Genin—particularly because his target, Uchiha Sasuke, was among them.
But the moment he'd tried to take control of the conversation, Hanabi had cut him off.
"Well, I suppose it can't be helped. You're all rookies, after all. Reminds me of my old self." Kabuto steered the topic back on track. When nobody took the bait, he pressed on. "This is my seventh time taking the Chūnin Exams."
"Seventh time?" Shikamaru sensed that things were about to get troublesome.
"The Chūnin Exams are held twice a year," Hanabi interrupted. "Strictly speaking, passing the exam isn't the only way to become a Chūnin. There are cases where people get promoted without going through the exam at all."
Kabuto pushed up his glasses.
He'd started a topic, and someone had just hijacked it right out from under him.
"Then why even have the Chūnin Exams?" Naruto naturally slipped into the role of straight man.
"See all these ninja who've come from other countries? They're all from allied villages. Well, I say 'allied,' but in practice most of them are in something closer to a protector-and-protectee relationship. In plain terms, they're all within the sphere of influence of the major nations."
Hanabi paused.
"Oh right—I heard that a few years ago, a village called Otogakure was established in the Land of Rice Fields. A tiny, freshly built ninja village like that, without the backing of a major nation, would struggle to even receive mission commissions. Basically, they're about as significant as bugs on the side of the road."
Hanabi delivered this with a bright smile—pure provocation.
And right on cue, the Stage's camera cut to a close-up of the three Sound ninja.
"Now, now." Kabuto hurried to smooth things over. "You really can't go saying things like that. We're all friendly neighbors here."
"But a ninja village that can't demonstrate its strength during the Chūnin Exams would get devoured pretty easily, wouldn't it? For example—say every single ninja from the Hidden Leaf Village got eliminated in this Chūnin Exam. What do you think would happen?" Hanabi turned to face the rest of the rookie group directly.
"That'd never happen!" Naruto stood with his hands on his hips.
"—They'd get invaded." Shikamaru said.
"Exactly. Take the Hidden Sand Village, for instance. They're our neighbors right now, but if Konoha weakened that badly, they'd probably be the first to attack."
The Stage's camera cut to Gaara's trio once more.
"Oh, and then there's that Otogakure I just mentioned—super tiny, super useless little village—but they'd definitely start harboring ulterior motives… Hmm, actually, maybe the Sand and Sound would just attack Konoha together. Who knows?"
Kabuto: "…"
"Well, you may be a young lady of the Hyuga clan, but you really shouldn't be saying things like that." Kabuto felt his entire plan getting derailed.
[Bratty little Hanabi needs to be taught a hard lesson!]
[Crude, but not wrong]
[So the world of Ninja's Path may be peaceful, but it's really walking a tightrope, huh]
[Fight! Fight! I want to see rivers of blood!]
"My, my—Kabuto-senpai's intelligence network is quite something, isn't it?" Hanabi said.
"You flatter me. There are actually several rookies this year I've been keeping a close eye on." Kabuto decided to wrestle the conversation back. "But if you keep going like this, you're going to make yourself a target."
If he let this brat run wild any longer, the situation was going to spiral out of control.
And just as Kabuto feared, every eye in the exam hall was now on Hanabi.
"Doesn't matter," Hanabi said. "Sometimes, a show of strength is just good strategy for a major power."
[Poor glasses-senpai]
[Just some plain-looking background character getting dunked on]
[Wait, why does he give me Mizuki vibes?]
[Lmao, now that you mention it—Kabuto does feel like he's been trying to do something this whole time but keeps getting shut down. The last person who suffered like this was that Mizuki guy]
[Don't underestimate Lady Hanabi's intelligence. This dude might just be a villain extra]
A villain, yes—but a Kakashi-tier villain.
Hanabi didn't mind continuing to court disaster, though.
"Hm…?"
Kabuto suddenly seemed to realize something.
"Wait—everyone's attention is focused over here?"
"Hyuga Hanabi's specialty is… genjutsu. Could this have been her goal all along?"
[Oho, so Kabuto even collected intel on Hanabi?]
[Outdated intel lol]
[But he's got a point—Director Hanabi being this attention-grabbing all of a sudden, could it actually be genjutsu?]
[Lmao, hitting everyone at once? That's insane, but thinking about it, it really is the kind of thing Director Hanabi would pull]
[It sounds ridiculous, but once you remember it's Director Hanabi, it totally checks out]
[She's literally gone after the proctors before]
[Holy crap, there might be foreshadowing for the upcoming fight]
[First round's definitely the written test. If you want action, that's later]
"Be that as it may, there are a lot of strong contenders in this exam." Kabuto decided to probe further, pulling out a stack of cards. "These are Ninja Info Cards I've compiled. They contain basic profiles on the ninja taking this exam. I'll share a little with you. Is there anyone you'd like to know about?"
"Hyuga Ne—no, Gaara." Sasuke had been about to say Hyuga Neji, but then he remembered that was Hanabi's brother and switched.
"You even know the name? That makes this easy."
Kabuto struck a pose, then drew a blank card from the deck.
As Kabuto channeled chakra into it, the card displayed the information.
"Mission experience: 8 C-rank missions, and B-rank—wow, impressive. A rookie Genin who's already completed a B-rank mission. But since he's a foreign ninja and still a rookie, there's no further information available." Kabuto was gradually reclaiming the spotlight. "However, I hear he returned from every single mission without a scratch."
"That guy…" Sasuke fell into thought.
"Hmph, B-rank? Big deal." Naruto crossed his arms, looking supremely smug.
His expression clearly broadcast to everyone: "I'm awesome too, I've done awesome missions too."
"So, anyone else you'd like to know about?"
Kabuto pressed on.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh." Hanabi stepped forward. "In that case, Kabuto-senpai, how about you look up my profile?"
"Huh?"