Few days have passed since that day. One morning my mother put me down on a mat in the garden and she gave me a soft toy ball. She seemed really happy to see me playing so cheerfully.
I looked at the thing. My small fingers could not even go around it. Something inside me was telling me to hold on to it. I did not want to put the thing in my mouth or spit on it like babies do. I wanted to hold the thing in my hand. The thing felt important to me. I wanted to grip the thing. I am sorry Eijun, I thought to myself an apology to the soul of Eijun that was supposed to be here instead of me. I will make sure that Eijun and I reach the top this time. I do not want any regrets. I do not want to miss any strikes, for Eijun. I took a breath and tried to balance myself. My body is really small so it is not easy. I moved my arm back.
Then I threw it forward with all my might. The arm of the baby went flying through the air. The ball landed just a few centimeters away from me. I was trying to throw my arm far. My father was really excited. "Oh look at him go!" he said with a smile. He was clapping his hands loudly from the porch. My father thought this person was a pitcher. He said "He is a born pitcher!" I let out a smile with no teeth. The road to Koshien is really long. My fastball is not very fast at all. It is moving slower than a snail that is crawling on the ground. I am starting my training now. I have to get my fastball ready for Koshien.
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Time passes fast when you're a baby. Season after season. I was still thinking about everything, about what had happened. Why was I the one that had to die and why the hell did I even get reincarnated as a fictional character at that, but I decided that training my body was more important for now and I wanted to write all my thoughts down and as a few months old baby that was a little impossible. When I was two years old I was not a baby anymore. The fun of being a kid was gone and I was getting really frustrated. My body was slow but my mind was moving very fast. My parents said I had a lot of energy and Grandpa Eitoku said I was special but the truth is, I was just trying to get my body to do what I wanted it to do… or at least what I thought I had to do. But because I was still not used to my new body I was fighting every day to make my body move how I wanted. I knew that Sawamura's best thing was not just that he talked a lot - it was that he was really flexible. Every night when I finally started to get used to the body and when my parents thought I was asleep I did some exercises in my crib. I did those things to make my shoulders stronger.
One day my father decided to set up a plastic hoop and a bucket of foam balls in our backyard. The foam balls and the plastic hoop were now ready for me to try out. I was excited to see how the foam balls would go through the plastic hoop. The small plastic hoop and the bucket of foam balls were waiting for me in the backyard. I was standing at the edge of the grass. I had a ball in my hand. I needed to practice the basics. I have to work on The Wall. I read a story about Eijun and his problem was that he could not control his pitches. I do not want that to happen to me this time. I want to be better than that. The Wall is what I need to focus on.
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I was sitting on the porch a lot and the sun would start to set. I would look at the Nagano mountains. I would get this feeling. It was like I did not belong. I thought to myself am I taking someone's life. But then I would feel something in my arm, it would feel restless and it would twitch. It felt like the real Eijun was still with me, it felt like our souls had become one. The Nagano mountains were really beautiful. My mind would always go back to Eijun. I would think about how our souls had fused and it felt like Eijun was still a part of me. Every time I thought about the mound my heart beat fast. It was like my heart was pounding with a lot of force. This feeling did not seem sensible. It felt like the mound was something I was meant to do. The mound felt like my destiny.
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A week later my mom took me to the local park. I was practicing my pitching at the park. I was trying to pitch like a pro. The local park was really nice. While I was doing that I saw some kids playing catch. They were having a lot of fun. Among the kids playing catch was a girl with short hair. The glove was too big for her hand, almost twice the size of her hand. I saw the girl and the other kids playing catch at the park.
Wakana.
Seeing her in person made the "manga" reality shatter - this was real life.
I started panicking. If this was actually my reality from now on then what happened to the "real" Eijun. Did it mean I "killed" him? Then I can get into an accident like "that" one again. I didnt want to. What if I didn't get another chance? Why was I given a chance in the first place…?
My mother had to take me into her arms and take me back home, even tho I was now breathing normally I still wouldnt react. She was worried about what could have happened to me just because we went to the park. And I was just watching Wakana as she played with the other children in the background. I hid my face in the crotch of her neck and cried silently.