In the end, Ian had overestimated the purchasing power of a Franklin.
Or maybe he had underestimated the financial strength of the cosplay crowd.
The money he had on him was only enough to buy a cheap knockoff suit.
Still,
holding a plastic Batarang and tugging at the badly fitting cloth armor on his body, Ian remained full of confidence. Using the night as cover, he slipped into a relatively secluded public phone booth.
These communication relics were still everywhere in America, and thanks to his parents' jobs and his excellent memory, Ian had memorized the contact information for plenty of major media outlets.
The first call, of course, went to the editor of the world-famous Daily Planet.
"Hello? I'm a concerned citizen."
He deliberately made his voice sound like an adult.
"I saw Batman in the old district! Yes! Him! I swear on my father! If I'm lying, then let my father walk outside and run into a whole bunch of supervillains!"
"Yes, yes, I always make vicious oaths. I'd even be fine if I ran into supervillains myself."
Ian finished the first call, then made a second, a third, a fourth, a fifth, a sixth, a seventh... eighteen in total.
He did not spare the local TV stations either.
"Batman! Oh my God! I saw Batman! He was on a date with a woman in the old district! I have no idea why he'd wear a superhero uniform on a date."
"Maybe his date has unusual tastes... what kind of question is that? Of course people go out of town for dates. Coming to Metropolis makes perfect sense, okay?"
Then it was the turn of a media outlet that loved celebrity gossip.
"I've got an exclusive. Can I get a submission bonus for TV?... I saw Batman come out of an alley where cheap streetwalkers usually hang around."
"I'm sure Batman only came to Metropolis on business and happened to help those poor women while he was at it. The exact location? Right in the old district where the Black guys like to hang out."
"That's all, Batman's walking toward me while pulling up his pants."
For every outlet,
Ian tailored the news to exactly what they liked best.
He had once survived the shock-headline era of Chinese clickbait news, so of course he understood how to spot the perfect marketing angle.
After reporting it to most of the media contacts he knew, Ian hesitated slightly, then decided to call his reporter mom too.
He did not want her missing out on tonight's Batman scoop and losing her bonus. Reporters in Metropolis were viciously competitive. Some of his mom's news stories were so obviously staged by his dad that Ian could tell at a glance.
Beep beep beep.
The call connected.
On the other end, his mom's voice asked who it was.
"Lois, it's me. I'm Batman, your old friend... tonight I'm expanding my superhero operations into Metropolis."
Ian lowered his voice and imitated Bruce's gravelly throat-cancer growl perfectly. His [Learning] talent made it easy for him to pick up all kinds of life skills.
Unfortunately,
"No, I'm not Ian, and I have not gone out to cause trouble."
To be fair, Ian's voice really had reproduced Batman's tone perfectly.
And yet he was still met with intense suspicion from the other end.
"I really am Batman. Couldn't you believe me just once?... Damn it, don't come out. Batman isn't going to the old district tonight. He's going straight back to Gotham."
"I mean I'm going straight back to Gotham... no, I didn't gasp because somebody hit me. I was just checking whether anything pointy had grown on my head."
"Okay, Mom. I'll be home soon."
Ian hung up in frustration.
Of course, he had absolutely no intention of going home right away.
Soon never meant immediately. It meant that whenever he finally got home, that moment was what counted as soon.
Interpretation rights naturally belonged to Ian.
Of course,
ignoring those interpretation rights and beating him up anyway was a right that belonged to Lois.
"Whatever. To conquer fear, you must become fear itself!"
Ian slipped back into his Batman bubble-voice and returned fully to character.
The old district was lively at night too.
He did not find any robberies.
But that did not stop him from wearing his cheap Batman suit and running across rooftops and walls wherever the crowd was thickest, using the exaggerated ninja run from Naruto.
He was practically trying to make sure nobody failed to spot a man dressed all in black in the middle of the night.
[Class Change Quest: Gain enough public attention and support (432/100000)]
The facts proved Ian's thinking was sound. He and his system were still in perfect sync. He had only wandered around a little, and his class-change quest had already made decent progress.
The darkness hid the cheapness of his costume, so most people never doubted his identity at all. After all, no random cosplayer could leap twenty feet between rooftops and throw more than a dozen backflips in midair. Even Bruce himself probably could not do that without tech support.
"Oh my God! Even Batman's here! Did some terrifying new disaster happen in Metropolis again?"
"Look! He missed his footing and fell from a fourth-floor rooftop! He didn't even die! He got back up and kept running! It's Batman! That has to be the real Batman!"
"Exactly! Just like people say, the one you can't kill is Batman!"
...
[Class Change Quest: Gain enough public attention and support (841/100000)]
[Class Change Quest: Gain enough public attention and support (1367/100000)]
[Class Change Quest: Gain enough public attention and support (1842/100000)]
...
While racing around,
Ian naturally did also deal with a few trivial little matters.
Like drunks fighting, small gang scuffles, and deadbeat johns refusing to pay.
It was not that he never came across bank robberies or similar crimes, but Ian was afraid things might turn into Superman versus Batman, so he could only pretend not to notice.
This was all for the sake of Batman's reputation. He really did not want the public seeing Batman get beaten senseless by a pack of thugs.
Fortunately, the arriving media were far friendlier toward an out-of-town superhero than they ever were to local heroes.
"Helping the elderly! Helping children! Even helping disabled people who maybe didn't want to cross the street in the first place! And he smiled at the camera too. Is this really the Batman we know?"
"Yes! This is Batman! This is true knightly spirit! We were all deceived by our colleagues in Gotham! Batman understands the underclass better than Superman does!"
"So that's it. Just like we like to smear Superman, the stories coming out of Gotham clearly can't be trusted either. Does this Batman look like someone who enjoys lurking in shadows?"
"Batman has a great chin!"
"Something seems a little off about Batman's outfit? Must be my imagination. It has to be my imagination. My overtime pay depends on it!"
...
The local reporters really were being very kind.
They were a living demonstration of how much people loved a hero more when he came from out of town.
And with their arrival,
[Class Change Quest: Gain enough public attention and support (3232/100000)]
[Class Change Quest: Gain enough public attention and support (4331/100000)]
Ian truly experienced the advantage of a famous brand-name identity. If he had tried doing heroic acts on the Stocking Superman account, there was no way he could have attracted a spectacle on this scale.
"Look at this. The TV stations are even broadcasting live!"
Ian stood atop a rooftop under the lights shining up at him and lowered his voice into a solemn growl.
"How did you know I came to Metropolis? I don't need attention. The greater the ability, the greater the responsibility. Justice never needs recognition from others."
Ian recited a mashup of famous lines.
He was playing dumb on purpose, as if he had only been discovered by accident.
Honestly, there was no way this act would fool actual Gotham locals. If people from Gotham showed up, they would probably spot the fake in one second.
But this was Metropolis.
The citizens of Metropolis were nowhere near as familiar with Batman as Gothamites were.
That was exactly why Ian had chosen to log into Batman's account instead of stealing his dad's hero identity. He had considered using Wonder Woman's too, since she was gentler, but unfortunately his legs just were not long enough.
Some people used information gaps to resell products.
Ian used information gaps to resell heroic identity.
Reality really was this absurd.
He had not just succeeded.
He had succeeded spectacularly.
Click click click.
Cameras were going off nonstop.
"Does Superman know you came to Metropolis?"
Some troublemaker shouted the question.
"I came because I saw a Superman who had grown complacent. In the corners of Metropolis, criminals are still active. But where is Superman? He only pays attention to the major cases. I came to Metropolis to tell the world this. The things Superman ignores, I, Batman, handle. The people Superman doesn't arrest, I, Batman, arrest!"
Ian imitated Batman's tone, his voice passionate and stirring.
"And the criminals Superman won't kill... uh, I don't kill either. I always just lock them all up."
He had nearly slipped out of character there.
Luckily, he managed to pull himself back into the role in time.
Applause burst out below the building.
Maybe the applause was also happening wherever the TV live feed was being watched.
Either way, the attention, recognition, and support Ian was gaining were rushing rapidly toward the quest goal.
[Class Change Quest: Gain enough public attention and support (34133/100000)]
[Class Change Quest: Gain enough public attention and support (47568/100000)]
...
Having the TV stations broadcasting live really was incredible.
Just as Ian was inwardly ecstatic and racking his brain for more emotionally powerful things to say,
VROOOOOOM!
The roar of a huge engine thundered across the sky.
One reporter looked up first and gasped.
"My God! It's the Batmobile! He really is the real Batman!"
That settled it.
Even the sharp-eyed reporters who had noticed something odd about Ian's costume had no choice but to believe now. After all, who did not know that only the real Batman had the Batmobile?
The crowd instantly erupted.
Only Ian, standing on the roof, froze in place.
Of course he knew his account theft could never stay hidden from Bruce Wayne forever.
What he had not expected was that Bruce would move so fast to stop him, even overnight.
The good news:
the Batmobile was operating unmanned.
The bad news:
Splut.
The Batmobile dropped a cellphone directly onto the rooftop.
Ian pretended he hadn't caught it.
Unfortunately, the phone turned out to be even tougher than a Nokia. Even after smashing onto concrete, it was totally unharmed, and to make matters worse, it auto-connected an incoming call.
Realizing disaster was at hand, Ian rushed over and stomped on it several times with all his strength, but he still could not break it. Just as he was regretting not bringing a hammer, a calm male voice, having already predicted exactly what he might try, came through the line.
"Kid, what exactly are you doing?"
It was deep.
Magnetic.
And unmistakably carried that perfect old-bat flavor.
(End of Chapter)
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