The moment their eyes met,
Ian felt disgust more than fear.
The stitched-together Homelander was revolting, sure, but not remotely frightening. Back in the DC world, Ian was still a small fry. Here in nightmare Marvel, though, he was immune to all damage.
"I'm not the crazy one. You people are. Too bad I can't introduce you to my psychiatrist. He'd definitely know how to turn stitched-up corpses back into premium leftovers."
Ian turned back, intending to criticize Gwen a little, only to discover that Gwen had already tilted her head and died.
Sometimes people really did use that method to avoid being lectured.
"I feel like I just learned a new move. This one will definitely be the key to defeating my invincible father."
Ian looked thoughtful. He had been just about to add that Homelander probably could not understand, since he did not have a dad.
Bzzzt.
Floating in midair,
the abomination stitched together from Homelander's torso and Hulk's limbs suddenly fired heat vision at Ian.
Snowflakes flashed into steam under the temperature of the beams. The crimson light crashed toward him like a flood. Ian, who had been ready for it, immediately threw up both hands.
Bzzzt.
The heat vision went straight into his face.
Still,
Ian did not feel embarrassed.
"Figures. High-energy electromagnetic waves really are faster, just like my childhood, which is slipping farther and farther away and still can't be caught."
Ian remained completely unharmed, while somehow still sounding a little sentimental.
Very poetic.
That did not stop the system from giving its own verdict.
[You attempted to learn how to catch heat vision barehanded. You gained insight into reckless techniques beyond ordinary human limits. Student class EXP +6]
Whatever the system's attitude might be, in this world it always managed to give Ian exactly the kind of surprise he wanted.
Another round of class EXP made Ian unable to resist giving the stitched Homelander a provocative finger gesture.
Bzzzt.
The heat vision continued.
The stitched Homelander hovering overhead showed none of the emotions a living person should have had. No soul had been loaded into that body. It was just a shell, following nothing but instinct.
"That's it. Don't stop. Use... okay, saying 'put more force into it' sounds a little weird. Just glare a little harder with your eyes."
Ian kept trying to catch the heat vision and gained two more rounds of experience.
Sadly, that farming session did not last long.
The stitched Homelander seemed to realize his ranged attacks were useless. He immediately dove down at over Mach 10.
The air burst into a cone of cloud around him.
That mismatched fist, wrapped in enough force to pulverize steel, slammed toward Ian's face. Ian did not move. He knew moving at all would just waste energy.
The stitched Homelander's fist struck Ian's forehead.
The air itself rippled and warped from the impact.
And yet,
it still meant absolutely nothing.
Ian remained completely unharmed.
The demon head at his waist let out a laugh that was rich with mockery.
"What a stupid walking corpse. Trying to hurt the master of a dimension while inside his own dimension?"
"What a waste of such a perfect body. A body like that should belong to a smarter head."
The demon head's tone was full of longing. While mocking the stitched Homelander, it also begged Ian at the same time.
"Rip his head off and put mine on instead. I'm the one best suited for that body!"
The demon head's words actually reminded Ian of something.
"So it really is stitched together..."
He noticed the thick sutures at the point where Homelander's head connected to the torso.
That made sense. The last time Ian had seen the body, Homelander's head and body had already been separate.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Maybe the stitched Homelander had sensed the offensiveness of Ian's stare. Acting on instinct, the thing threw itself at Ian over and over at a speed that made the eyes blur.
It was pointless.
That did not stop him from going all out.
Ian ignored the demon head's advice. Instead, he sincerely tried to grab Homelander's fists.
Unfortunately, there was still a clear gap between Ian's current physical condition and the stitched Homelander's.
Which was normal.
After all, Savage Tyrant was only level one.
So the stitched Homelander kept attacking, and Ian kept trying to catch his punches with the stubborn focus of a man committed to the bit.
[You are studying combat techniques. Student class EXP +1]
[You are studying combat techniques. Student class EXP +1]
[You are studying combat techniques. Student class EXP +1]
...
What a perfect world.
What a beautiful experience farm.
The only regret was that Ian had not managed to catch even one of the stitched Homelander's punches.
There was no helping it.
His eyes and hands just could not quite keep up with the other guy's speed.
"Damn it, John Banner Ip Man, could you at least let me catch one? Just once. If you do, I'll say three times every day that you're the real superhero."
Ian's competitive streak really did flare up in the strangest moments. Sure, the EXP felt great, but he really was trying his hardest to catch those punches.
"If this keeps up, I'm ripping your head off. No. I'm going to cyberbully you."
After all those futile attempts, all Ian had to show for it was a face turning redder and redder.
Still,
after enough probing,
Ian confirmed that the stitched Homelander probably did not have a shred of intelligence left.
He had already brought up cyberbullying.
And the thing's movements had not slowed even a little.
"Sigh."
All Ian could do was sigh and continue farming experience off the stitched-up corpse. Gradually his mood settled again.
After all, MacArthur had once said that if you failed enough times, sooner or later your body adapted.
There was a decent chance the general had actually said that one.
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
The stitched Homelander's punches were so strong they could even produce sonic booms.
Ian still failed to make any real progress.
Every blow landed squarely on him.
Even so, it did not stop him from gaining experience. And it definitely did not stop the system from making its usual diligent judgment.
[General skill obtained successfully]
[Ian Kent Defensive Arts (Beginner): When you remain standing still, damage taken is reduced by 10%. Damage reduction for the face and vital areas is doubled.]
To be honest,
even Ian froze for a second at that one.
But then,
he understood immediately.
He had awakened to a family tradition.
If he never bothered defending, then he did not need defense.
And wasn't that just another form of defense?
The spirit of family had descended upon him.
No equations required.
Problem solved.
"So general skills you awaken are like Learning, huh? You can't level them by training, only by spending skill points?"
Ian felt deeply disappointed by that.
And just as he was thinking about how to have a proper talk with the system,
whoosh...
The wind noise abruptly weakened.
Without warning,
the stitched Homelander went rigid, as if the power had been cut.
(End of Chapter)
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