Clarina sat still at the end of her bed dressed in a pastel yellow flower dress that stopped just above her knee, her wide brown eyes drifting to the analog clock on the wall.
Silence filled her room, the only sound that could be depicted was the soft clicking of the clock as its short hand approached eight and the long hand twelve.
Clarina chewed the inside on her cheeks, anxiety growing rapidly inside her. Her father hadn't wished her a happy birthday, no one ever did, not even her mother who she had longed wished was different from her father.
She fixed her eyes on the shopping bags that were on the floor and sprawled on her bed. She had no wish for them. She had nothing to do with them.
She already had enough luxury items but her father didn't care, he always bought her expensive dresses, accessories and made sure her originally blonde wavy hair was straightened and dyed black.
"Be ready by eight in the evening. I don't need to punish you like last time for your brain to be set in order. Do your make-up, dress nicely and put on your heels."
Her father's words came back haunting her. She hadn't seen him but the note he had sent to her was dark and grim and Clarina could definitely pick up the tone and seriousness of his words through his writing.
She sat idly on the bed, as the time approached eight, waiting for her father's instructions.
The pen drop silence broke when her stomach grumbled in hunger and her eyes bulged in fear, scared that she was in her father's presence and had done the shameful thing that would attract more punishment to her.
Her skin was unblemished, smooth and soft like butter, the glow to her face brighter than the morning sun and her skin tone whiter than snow.
Clarina cleared her throat and drank more water to fill in her hungry stomach. Her father said no meals today until dinner so that her stomach wouldn't protrude despite how skinny she already was.
A wearily sigh escaped her lips, her brown eyes turning glossy but she reigned in her tears because she was already a master of how she had been treated.
She heard the handle of her door being twisted open and she straightened her back instantly.
Her father, Gabriel Harrington stepped into the bright light that shone inside her room and Clarina's heart beat quickened as she swallowed hard, nervously.
"Father," she murmured politely, her voice barely audible.
Her father was an overbearing man whose presence alone made Clarina tremendously aware of her surroundings.
"Your heels, you're not on them, why?" He asked with a cruel voice after a quick minute of scrutinizing her dressing.
The harsh tone of her father's words made the hairs on her skin rise and she moved further into her bed, the fluffiness of her cozy sheets beneath her fingers brought her warmth and courage to answer.
"I stubbed my toe by mistake and it hurts when I put on heels."
A shiver ran down her spine when she felt her father's cold glare on her.
"You should've been careful, Clarina. We have important guests tonight and I wouldn't want you to embarrass me. Bear with it and put on your heels. You have two minutes to do that and walk down to the dining room." He walked away, slamming the door shut without waiting for a reply.
Clarina exhaled loudly, like a heavy weight had been lifted off her chest.
She never stared at her father dead in the eyes but she could feel the intensity of how he was throwing bullets straight to her skull with his eyes.
She obeyed his instructions and picked a simple four inch black heel and rushed down to the dining room.
Clarina's eyes doubled in size when she noticed the many guests that sat around the dining table.
She has never seen this many people in her father's house, especially on her birthdays.
Her legs turned shaky and her palms sweaty but she held the side of her dress to steady herself.
She couldn't possibly make a fool of herself when her father and his numerous guests of mostly men were gawking at her like she was a feast.
Each of the men were draped in expensive suits with a rolled blunt in their hand. The dark smell of the smoke made her release a soft cough.
"Good evening…" She greeted the guests with a bow to her head and turned her head to where her mother was spotted beside her father, focused on anything rather than her own daughter.
She felt a pang to her chest, like she had been punched to the guts only for the pain to disappear with surprise when her father spoke.
"Go sit beside Nathaniel, child. The man at the far end with an orange suit and grey mustache." Her father ordered sternly.
Clarina's heart dropped to her stomach when her eyes finally landed on the man her father had just ordered her to sit beside.
He was a fat, round bellied man. He had really white hair that signified how old he was. His lips were black, face filled with pores and his mustaches curled at the end.
Clarina felt bile rise up to her throat, the sight of the man was utterly disgusting and it suddenly made her nervous.
Obeying her father's words, her heels clicked on the marble tiles until she reached the only empty seat around the table beside the old looking man.
Clarina paid her greetings and when the man smiled, his not more than twelve remaining teeth were yellow and his breath stinked.
Her skin crawled with a new profound feeling of panic. She had never in her life stayed beside anything so revolting as the man who sat beside her.
If she said anything or did anything as little as scrunching her nose, she knew her father would be sure to see it as disrespect.
She had no idea why she was here with her father's guests but she bowed her head and tried focusing on the plethora of dishes on her side of the table.
"That is your soon-to-be husband, Clarina. Make sure you two get to know each other and most importantly be good to him, Clarina. You will marry him in a few days."
"WHAT!" The word flew out of her mouth before she could stop it.
Her father's sudden words brought fear and shock to her system that she was triggered immediately.
No! That's impossible. She couldn't possibly be getting married to a man as old as that right? He's ugly and unfitting. And for goodness sake, she just turned eighteen today!
What the fucking hell!
At the same time her mind was crashing out, she felt rough irritating hands on her exposed thighs and she swatted it away almost immediately.
She heard the old man grunt in anger.
"What is this behavior, Clarina? Do you know who that man is? Sit quietly and let him be!" Her father's words pierced her chest and cut down the brick of tears she was holding.
A lone tear slid down her cheeks as she couldn't disobey him.
All her life she has been trained to be obedient and compliant, if she started now to disobey him she knew she would suffer for it.
But could she really marry the old man? He looks like a great grand dad. And he isn't even presentable or eye worthy.
Fuck!
Another tear left her eyes and she felt the old man's hand on her cheeks.
She tried so much not to push his hands away as he tried wiping the tears.
"Don't cry, Clarina. I'm your daddy now, I promise to take care of you. You look so sweet and delicious. Your tears should be saved for later."
Clarina scrunched her nose because his breath was too smelly and she couldn't even walk away from the dining table.
For about thirty minutes, Clarina was zoned out, as her father discussed whatever with his guests as they all smiled and merry.
"Cheers to the union of Nathaniel and Clarina." One of the guests toasted and they all drank.
After the dinner, Nathaniel spoke to Gabriel that he wished to have Clarina in his home until the wedding and when Clarina heard her father agreeing, her heart shattered and she ran to her room with tears flowing down her cheeks like a torrent of waves crashing down on her.
She had been the obedient and respectful daughter who did everything her father had asked of her but this…
This was one thing she knew she couldn't do. How could she marry a man that is glaringly older than her father.
She would rather die than let that happen.
How can she escape from this union? She had no friends to run to, no social life to ask for help.
Her phone was literally a toy she used only for studying.
She crashed down on her bed, and brought her knees close to her chest, weeping badly between them.
Her shoulders shook as the sky trembled in agony.
Clarina's heart shattered into a million pieces and breathing felt hard for her.
How could…
How could her father even think of giving her up… she could still hear the laughter of the men who laughed amongst themselves.
She felt disgusted with herself… Nathaniel's hand on her exposed thighs, made her want to scrape that spot until she bled.
And her mother… She sat idly like the quiet doll she was for her husband.
She didn't protest or lift her head to look at her daughter who was being given up by her husband.
Everyone had always said it was a privilege to be born with a golden spoon, to be born into money but Clarina's eyes watered profusely at the thought of how her life would have been if her parents weren't her parents.
The pain was too hard for her to bear…
Her cries filled her room as the window rattled angrily because of the incoming storm.
The chandelier in her room swaying side to side, the cold piercing into her skin but she didn't care.
What is the point of living if your life isn't even yours?
She had been hoping that one day her obedience would earn a soft spot in her father's heart but tonight everything was crushed to the mud.
Clarina was unaware that someone had entered her room until she felt soft hands on her shoulders…
"Rose."
She recognized that voice. Only one person called her that.
Slowly, she raised her head, and her brown eyes which were now filled with tears and red-rimmed locked with her mother's hollow brown ones.
"Mommy," she broke, more tears spilling from her eyes.
"Suhhh, I'm here for you. I won't let you marry that man. You're my daughter and I would do everything to protect you." She cooed at her daughter and wiped her tears.
Clarina shook her head. She didn't believe the words of her mother who had long deserted her.
Her mother who ignored her pains and sufferings.
Her mother, who didn't wish her a happy birthday.
Her mother, who left her to the maid's to take care of.
Her mother who made her feel more pain through actions than words…
She just couldn't…
Maureen, Clarina's mother, sat close to her daughter with a box in her hand.
"I'm not going to ask you to forgive me. Nevertheless, you are my daughter. Happy Birthday, little Rose. I'm sorry it's coming late…" she handed Clarina the brown box she held.
More tears flowed down Clarina's cheeks like they were broken out from a dam as her mother spoke.
"You don't want to marry Nathaniel, right?"
Clarina shook her head, her throat clogged with emotions she struggled to hold in.
"Then I promise to set you free. Open your gift." Maureen said, fighting back her own tears.
"Mom…" Clarina drawled with a soft voice… her eyes were very bright red.
Maureen nodded her head, shooting her a sign to open up the box.
Clarina dainty hands felt the box wrapped with pink ribbons and daisies…
Daisies… Her favorite flowers, second to Lilies.
Her mother knew…?
She felt the flowers beneath her fingers for a while before opening the box.
Her eyes widened in astonishment.
Flat shoes!
She never owned a flat shoe in her life.
Her mother had never bought her a gift in her life.
She had only ever worn heels all through her life, imposed by her father.
The shoe was pink and pretty with white accents around it.
"Mommy…" she broke down, every nerve in her body shook as she felt goosebumps all over her.
Her mother wanted to talk more with her but there wasn't much time.
Her father, Gabriel was sure to give in to Nathaniel's request and Maureen didn't want her daughter with a smelling and pedophile creature.
She cleaned her daughter's tears with her napkin.
"I'm going to escort you downstairs, outside the security of this mansion, you will have to run past the driveway and out of the main gates before your father gets alerted. I've already arranged everything for you, Rose. You will be well protected and taken care of…"
"Mommy… What's going on? What are you saying? Where am I going?" Cold dread sank into her bones.
"You're leaving this mansion, this life and most importantly your father's control. I will never let you leave a useless life like mine." A lone tear escaped Maureen's eyes but she wiped it clean.
Everything she had been doing was for the sole purpose of her daughter's good living and the marriage announcement was also shocking to her.
Clarina shook her head.
Where was she going to go? She had nothing… nobody, nothing to call hers…
"I-I can't…"
"You can and you will. Now put on this shoe and follow me." Her mother said firmly and stood up.
She didn't let Clarina dawdle about what she could do and what she couldn't.
"Mom…"
"Now, Clarina!"
Clarina shuddered at the shout of her name and obeyed.
She slid the shoe into her feet. They were soft and comfortable.
She had no time to feel the comfortability for more than a second before her mother whisked her hand and led her out of the room and went through the back stairs that led to the exit at the back of the building.
Clarina eyes were glued to her mother's hand enclosed in hers. They were the first time she was holding her mother's hand.
'How lovely would it be to wake up to a mother's touch every day.' came the thought of Clarina as she noticed her mother slip something into her hand.
"Stay safe, little rose."
"Daddy is going to know, you were the one who helped me escape. I can't leave knowing that you're going to get blamed." Clarina said, shaking her head in refusal to escape.
"The longer you hesitate, the more your life gets tied to a man much older than your father. I can handle my husband, you can't handle your father. Now run!" Her mother pushed her away.
The cloud was dark and empty, wind swaying side to side as rain began to drizzle.
"Fuck! Clarina, it's raining already. We can't go back to get an umbrella for you. You've to run past the driveway and use your card to pass through the main gates before your father finds out you're missing.
"But mommy…" Clarina still hesitated. This was the first time she was witnessing her mother's love for her and she had always loved her mother and couldn't let her be alone…
"Can't we run away together?" She pleaded, her eyes searching for hope and positivity but when her mother shook her head, her hope died.
"I love your father, my husband. I've done what I can for you. If you still wish to get caught, that's on you!" She turned away and began to walk away only for a bellowing voice to make their both hearts drop.
"Clarina, where the fuck are you?'' Two heavy footsteps were heard along the forecourt before the back gate.
Maureen turned back, "stupid girl!" She landed a heavy slap on Clarina's cheeks and pushed her further away.
"I'm going to make your life so much more miserable if you do not leave this instant, Clarina! Don't make me hate you more than I already have." She locked her emotions and stared at her daughter like she was a worthless dirty beneath her shoe.
Clarina stared blankly at her mother with a shaky hand placed to her red cheeks before she turned on her feet and started running as fast as she could towards the main gates.
The rain transformed into a heavy downpour, drenching the yellow dress Clarina was putting on.
Clarina approached the main gates and used her card to unlock it but before she passed through, the lock turned red signifying there was an unauthorized access happening followed by the voice she despised so much now.
"Lock the gates. Don't let her pass through!" Clarina's heart dropped to her stomach.