"So chat, there's this thing I've been meaning to tell you guys."
I paused, took a gulp of water, breathed out, and was about to continue.
:Ding!:
"We don't want to know."
"Thank you for the gift, BigDig99, but… I'm serious."
"You're no fun when you're serious," one 'fan' typed.
"She's not funny when she's not serious either," another 'fan' said.
"Is this going to be the 'Chat, I'm dying,' thing again? That's getting a bit old."
Why do these guys even watch me stream?
I was growing frustrated, but I had already made my decision.
"I have Idiopathic Cardiopulmonary Degeneration. My lungs are failing. My heart is failing. And I don't know how long I'm going to live, but I won't last very long."
There, I said it.
"Idio- what?"
"Idiot pathic"
"Chronic idiocy"
"Terminal idiot"
"Lmao, an idiopath"
Wha—
"Wait, chat, I'm serious."
This wasn't how it was supposed to go.
"Bree is an idiopath."
"I'm not surprised tbh."
I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout fuck you at them from the top of my pathetic lungs. I wanted to rip out my heart and show them how much it hurt.
Why are they so…
"Man, she's crying"
"Bruh, we were just playin"
"Chill"
I couldn't control myself. All my effort, all the money I wasted getting all these useless junk gear when Brian was saving coins in that little jar in the kitchen, all the time I spent lying in my bed trying to think of ways to make people laugh, enjoy, and share—
Share what?
What did I even have to offer?
And if… if they were going to be like this, why did they even watch me?
Just to be cruel? Is it that fun to stomp on a dying ant?
:Ding!:
"WTF is that behind you?"
This time I was gonna fucking explode and cuss at BigDig finally, but I got caught off guard seeing that the gift was from karuhi07. They never gifted me anything before. They hardly ever said anything before, if at all.
"What… do you mean?"
I asked, confused. I turned back and there was only the green screen and Senne.
"What the hell? That shit looks freaky," karuhi07 typed again.
"U trippin bruh?" BigDig99 asked.
"What's what?" lolitao seemed confused.
"You guys don't see it?" asked karuhi07 again.
"What are you talking about? There's nothing behind me?" I asked again.
"The thing behind you. In a suit."
My heart sank.
Just as I was about to turn off the stream in a hurry, Senne leaned in and spoke into the microphone.
"Do you hear me?"
By now, the chat was joking about karuhi07 being on some kind of bad acid trip, but I noticed that they had already left the chat.
"I'm sorry guys, I will… end early for today. Please tune in again tomorrow. I'm sorry."
I ended the stream and shot up from my seat. My chest felt tight and I couldn't breathe any air in. My legs lost all strength and I fell to the floor. I tried to call out for help, but Senne didn't move. She just stood still, leaning forward a little, looking at the screen instead of me. I heard her whisper.
"That is interesting."
The door flew open and Brian ran in, dropping to his knees beside me and lifting my head.
"Bree!"
I couldn't speak, but he knew what I needed. He rushed to the bedside table, pulled out the top drawer and grabbed the spray. In no time, he was beside me again, and with a click, he sprayed the gas into my mouth. I felt like my lungs were going to explode. My head spun, and everything grew dark for a second. Then I exhaled, gasped once, and finally I could breathe again.
"Shhhh."
Brian stopped me from saying anything. He just laid me flat on the ground and stroked my head.
"It's going to be okay. You are going to be okay, Bree. It's okay."
From the corner of my eye I saw Senne crouching next to Brian, stroking—what I imagined was—her chin.
"Really interesting."
That's all she said.