Once the door was open, Alaric was greeted with the sight of rags and bottles full of oddly colored liquids sitting on three shelves.
There was also a brown bucket with a stick sitting inside it. "An alchemist's closet?"
Alaric guessed. "Fascinating."
"No—it's actually—"
But Alaric puzzled it together after a moment, his mind humming with neural connections as it reconciled his memories with his understanding of this world. "Ah, my apologies. This is a closet with supplies meant for the facilitation of custodial labor."
"If you mean this stuff cleans other stuff, then yes," Justin muttered. "The blue squirt bottle is for the windows. Our windows are functionally brand new because of your…yandere monster girlfriend, so we don't need to clean those too often for at least a few more days.
That pink one—put a few drops in that bucket down there."
"The mop bucket," Alaric grunted. "Very well. I shall obey."He allowed several drips of the pink fluid to fill the mop bucket, then gestured to it triumphantly.
"Good. Now fill it up in that sink there. Use the hose to direct the water into the bucket without making a mess," Alaric's boss instructed him, crossing his arms. "So far so good."
"A trivial task. Child's play, really," Alaric intoned with confidence as he filled the mop bucket. "Tell me when to stop."
"That's about good. Stop there. Stop. STOP!"
"Sorry, I turned the lever the wrong way at first—but we're good. Now, let me guess: you wish for me to mop the floors?"
"Yep, I'll watch the front desk. You mop the floors in the whole place, but start in the bathroom and break room.
Someone sprayed piss all over the men's bathroom."
Alaric's brow furrowed. "I see. That is…unfortunate."
"Never cleaned a bathroom before?"
The monster hunter scoffed. "Hardly. When I was training under my father as a young man, every time I made an error he would lash me with his whip and make me clean the latrine with only a single brush.
Early in my studies, our outhouses and latrines were always immaculate as a result.
It's just that—well, having to do so—"
Alaric's boss regarded him with sympathy as he settled behind the front counter. "It sucks, I know. But that's the job, and a fairly big part of it. I've cleaned that bathroom there probably a hundred times this year."
"I understand. This is the way of the world. As long as there are ale,children, and assholes in this world, needlessly filthy bathrooms will be a constant."
"Well said," Justin replied with a chuckle.
Then, as a customer filed into the gas station, Alaric got to the job, dragging the mop bucket behind him as he entered the bathroom, beginning with the men's room first.
He didn't waste time knocking on the door because he knew for a fact that it was empty.
Once inside, he regrettably breathed in, inhaling the rank odorhe expected. He made a face.
However—Alaric had a secret weapon up his sleeve. Well, in the pocket of his cargo pants, anyway. He retrieved a little blue bottle of liquid—holy water, blessed by the Pope(The guild Creator)himself, anointed with the tip of the Longinus Spear.
He uncorked the bottle and sprinkled a tiny bit of the liquid into the mop bucket. The scent in the room instantly improved one hundred fold as the purity of divinity radiated from the janitorial container.
In proper fashion, Alaric recited His daily quote as he retrieved the mop and started scrubbing the floors.
Tiny bits of grime that normally would not give way with a single pass came off the tile easily, leaving behind sparkling linoleum, resplendent under his care.
When he strained to listen, the faint sound of a chorus was audible beneath the bathroom speakers, which were currently playing "I Got You Babe" by Sonny and Cher.
A holy warmth spread through his body
as he grabbed a rag and dabbed it with a bit of the sanctified water.
He cleaned the counters, wiped down the mirrors, and scrubbed the toilets.
Seeing his work completed, He let out a sigh of contentment and walked out of the bathroom, dragging the mop bucket behind him.
"There's no way you finished cleaning it that quickly," Justin noted, calling to him from the counter over the head of a customer—an old man with headphones on.
"See for yourself."
Justin brushed past the customer, rolling his eyes and sighing en route to Alaric's location.
The monster hunter did not blame him for his skepticism.
How should he know that he had an ever replenishing bottle of holy water that could purify anything?Justin pushed beyond Alaric and opened the door to the men's bathroom and was suddenly awash with radiant golden light.
A gentle breeze wafted through his hair, and a thousand sweet voices singing the Hail Mary in Enochian, the tongue of the angels, graced their ears.
Alaric smiled with satisfaction as Justin fell to his knees, his hands clasped in front of him in prayer. "It's—it's so fucking beautiful," Justin said.
The monster hunter gently placed a hand on his boss's shoulder and nodded. "Wait until you see the toilet."
———
It was hours later. The gas station was as clean as it had ever been. A blind man regained his sight when he kissed the urinal, and a news crew came by shortly after that.
Eventually, they left—for now.
Nearing the end of his shift, Alaric cautiously looked forward to the night ahead. How could he not? He was still a man, after all, and the most sinfully beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on was waiting for him.
She was probably naked right now, touching herself as she thought of him, or hyping herself up by raging about other women he might have encountered throughout the day.
He had never had a proper girlfriend before.
He'd experienced his share of trysts throughout the years, certainly, and was not coming to the table with as little sexual experience as the Countess.
In his encounters and conquests in the past, Alaric found the act of courting and flirting to be somewhat tedious.