MIRA
In my life, I had never truly experienced love.
Not because my parents didn't love me—they did.
But it was a different kind of love I was talking about.
The kind that slowly forms between two people until their souls begin to recognize each other like they were always meant to meet. The kind of connection that wraps itself so deeply around your existence that breaking apart no longer feels possible.
Like dark clouds belonging to thunder.
Like green grass waiting for the touch of rain.
I had crushes before—celebrities, random people, fleeting attractions that disappeared as quickly as they came.
But this was different.
I had never experienced the feeling of being tied to someone by fate itself.
The kind of love where, no matter how much two people clash, avoid each other, or walk in opposite directions… something keeps pulling them back together again.
And once in my lifetime, before I die, I wanted to experience that kind of feeling too.
Even with the terrible luck I seemed to carry around everywhere, a small part of me still secretly wished for it.
Though eventually, I pushed those thoughts away from myself.
Until An-An told me the most unexpected thing this morning.
That the Grumpy Goggles himself—that human concrete pillar—apparently had some sort of tiny crush on me.
Which honestly sounded ridiculous.
I mean… sure, I liked him at first glance too.
But only because of that unreal face of his and the dangerously beautiful features he clearly inherited from his equally beautiful mother.
However, his personality—and his constant hostility toward me—completely destroyed every possibility of me actually liking him.
And now, after hearing that Xian An—of all people—had once had a huge crush on him ever since the day they met…
it made me feel strangely uneasy.
Not jealous.
Not upset.
Just… aware.
Aware of the fact that maybe I wasn't the only person who had once looked at him and felt something before learning how difficult he truly was.
"Whatever… let me tell you the full story," An-An said, snapping her fingers in front of my face to pull me out of my thoughts.
I blinked and nodded quickly.
Though on the outside I stayed calm, inside, I was embarrassingly eager to hear everything.
"So," she began, taking a sip from the iced tea she had ordered earlier, "I first met him during my bachelor's degree days."
I leaned forward slightly without realizing it.
And as she continued speaking, I found myself imagining every part of her story like scenes unfolding inside my head.
---
"Back then, I was honestly a complete nerd," she said with a small laugh. "The kind of person nobody really noticed."
"I was drowning in financial pressure and academic pressure at the same time. My family wasn't doing well financially, so getting into Tsinghua University became my entire goal."
"And even after getting in, life didn't suddenly become easier."
"I studied constantly. Worked constantly too."
"My family used to run this tiny restaurant near the old streets, so after classes I would go there and help until late at night."
She smiled faintly at the memory before continuing.
"And sometimes… I used to sing there too."
I looked at her in surprise.
"You used to sing that time too?"
"Very well, actually," she said proudly before continuing again. "I'd sit near the corner with my guitar and sing for the customers. Sometimes they'd leave extra tips, and honestly, during those days, even a little extra money mattered a lot."
Her fingers lightly tapped against the cold glass in her hand.
"And that guitar…" her voice softened slightly, "her name was Lucy."
I almost laughed. "You named your guitar?"
"Obviously. She was my emotional support."
I shook my head while she smiled faintly to herself.
"Lucy was probably the only thing I truly loved back then," she admitted quietly. "Because no matter how hard life got… she stayed."
Her eyes lowered for a moment.
"When I felt like I was failing at everything else, music was the only thing that reminded me I still had something worth holding onto."
"And honestly…" she let out a quiet breath, "during those days, I had already lost more things than I could talk about."
"Every moment of my life, I felt the absence of my parents' love and affection," An-An said quietly, her fingers tracing the edge of the glass absentmindedly.
"After I was born, my father's business collapsed. And somehow, my nǎinai believed I was the reason behind it."
Her lips curved into a faint, bitter smile.
"To her, I was an unlucky child."
"And eventually… my parents started believing that too."
She looked away for a brief moment before continuing.
"No matter how much I studied, how much I worked, or how hard I tried to become someone they could finally be proud of…" she let out a soft laugh, though there was no happiness in it, "it never really changed the way they looked at me."
"So after a while, I stopped trying to earn love from people."
Her voice remained calm, but the exhaustion behind it was impossible to miss.
"I just learned how to survive without expecting it anymore."
"Eventually, my days just kept going like that," An-An continued softly. "Until one day…"
She paused for a moment, almost smiling at the memory.
"I was smoking at this really hidden spot behind the architecture building. Hardly anyone went there because it was quiet… peaceful."
I raised an eyebrow immediately.
"You smoked?"
"Past tense," she corrected quickly. "Don't ruin the emotional atmosphere."
I rolled my eyes while she continued.
"And then I heard someone singing."
Her voice softened slightly.
"It was… unbelievably soothing. The kind of voice that makes your heart feel lighter without you even realizing it."
She looked down at the melting ice in her drink before speaking again.
"It felt like resting under the shade of a huge tree during unbearable summer heat. Calm. Cool. Safe."
"I had genuinely never heard someone sing that beautifully before."
Without realizing it, I found myself listening even more carefully now.
"So I got curious," she said. "And eventually, I went to see who it was."
A faint smile appeared on her face.
"And that was the first time I saw Chen Yuze."
The way she said his name felt strangely different from everyone else.
"He was sitting alone on a bench, leaning back with one arm resting across the wooden seat while looking up at the sky. He had headphones on, and beside him was one of those architecture models students carry around like their lives depend on it."
Her eyes narrowed slightly as if replaying the scene perfectly in her mind.
"And somehow…" she let out a quiet laugh, "he looked exactly like the kind of person who didn't belong in real life."
"So that's how you fell for him?" I asked curiously.
An-An immediately gave me a look.
"I mean… who wouldn't?" she said dramatically. "Look at you. You practically malfunctioned because of his face the first time you saw him."
I groaned instantly.
"Ugh, let's throw that embarrassing part of my life into the dustbin, please. Your story sounds way calmer."
But honestly…
I wanted to hear more.
More about them.
More about him.
An-An stirred the straw in her drink absentmindedly before speaking again.
"Well… I did feel something for him back then," she admitted softly. "Until I realized he was definitely not meant for me."
The moment those words left her mouth, I slammed my hand against the table so loudly that half the cafeteria jumped at the sudden sound.
Even An-An flinched in shock.
"HEY!" she yelled, clutching her chest dramatically. "You almost killed me, bitch! What is wrong with you?!"
A few students turned to stare at us before going back to their own conversations.
But I barely noticed.
"What do you mean he wasn't meant for you?" I demanded immediately. "You didn't even make a move!"
An-An blinked at me for a second.
Then slowly narrowed her eyes.
"…Why are you getting this emotionally invested?"
"I'm not emotionally invested," I denied instantly.
"You just attacked the table like a betrayed wife."
"That is not the point!"
"Then what is the point?"
"How do you know you weren't good enough for him? In fact, I think you're far more capable than that piece of shit is," I blurted out all at once.
I let out a frustrated huff before taking another sip of my coffee.
"Okay, now tell me the story behind your incredibly poor thoughts," I said, staring at her over the rim of my cup.
An-An looked at me for a few seconds before suddenly laughing under her breath.
"Wow," she muttered. "You really hate him and defend him at the same time. That's honestly impressive."
"I do not defend him."
"Mhm."
I narrowed my eyes at her.
"Continue the story."
"Okay, okay, calm down," she said, raising both hands dramatically in surrender. Then her expression slowly softened again.
"Well… the reason behind those thoughts was that…"
She paused.
For the first time since starting the story, her playful expression disappeared completely.
And somehow, the silence that followed felt heavier than before.
Just as An-An was about to continue, someone suddenly tapped my shoulder from behind.
I was so absorbed in her story that I pushed the hand away without even turning around.
But then it tapped me again.
And this time, irritation immediately rose inside me.
I frowned and was about to snap at whoever it was when I noticed An-An's expression.
She was staring past me with her mouth slightly open like she had just seen a ghost.
My stomach dropped instantly.
No.
There was no way.
How could he possibly be here?
And more importantly—
why did these situations always somehow involve me?
I refused to turn around immediately, almost out of pure denial.
But before I could react further, two large cold hands suddenly cupped the sides of my face completely, practically covering my cheeks and ears in one hold.
The sudden touch forced my head upward.
And there he was.
Chen Yuze.
For a second, my entire brain went blank.
Up close, his face looked unfairly perfect in the most dangerous way possible.
Sharp jawline.
Cold dark eyes.
Skin so pale under the cafeteria lights that it almost looked unreal.
A few loose strands of black hair had fallen over his forehead, softening absolutely nothing about him.
And yet somehow, despite the calm expression on his face, there was something intensely overwhelming about the way he was looking at me right now.
Too close.
Far too close.
I could feel my heartbeat instantly lose rhythm.
Not because of romance.
No.
It was the kind of fear and tension you feel standing too close to the edge of something unpredictable—
something beautiful enough to distract you before it destroys your balance completely.
Before I could even process what was happening, he pressed one of his bluetooth earbuds in one of my ears.
I was still staring up at him in complete shock, my mouth slightly open, my brain absolutely refusing to function properly.
Then a familiar voice came from the other side of the call.
"Hello! Mira, it's me, Aunt Shu-Zhen!"
I blinked rapidly.
"…Aunty?"
"Oh good, finally!" she sighed dramatically from the other side. "This stubborn son of mine said you weren't picking up your phone, so I told him to go find you personally."
My eyes widened instantly.
I slowly looked up at Yuze again.
He looked entirely unbothered.
Meanwhile, I was one second away from collapsing from humiliation.
An-An, traitor that she was, had already turned her face away to hide her laughter.
"Mira," Aunt Shu-Zhen continued, completely unaware of the emotional disaster happening in the cafeteria, "I accidentally created a small problem at home."
A small problem?
With this family, that sentence sounded terrifying.
"What happened aunt is that something serious?" I asked carefully.
"Well…" she hesitated. "I suppose you washed some clothes this morning and left them to dry on the balcony?"
"Yes I did....?"
"And the wind was very strong today."
Something inside me already knew this conversation was about to ruin my peace again.
"So one of your clothes flew away."
I froze.
"…What?"
"And unfortunately," she continued weakly, "it landed on the rooftop balcony of the house next to ours."
For a second, I genuinely forgot Yuze was standing right in front of me.
"My WHAT flew away?!"
An-an inspite of the fact she doesn't know what is the conversation going on through that wireless headphones, but my loud words made her bury her face on the table and i saw her shoulder shake violently, as if she has a hint of what's going on.
Aunt Shu-Zhen lowered her voice like she was revealing national secrets.
"It was… um…"
A pause.
Then she whispered,
"…your pink embroidered Bra..."
I almost died on the spot.
My soul physically left my body.
Very calmly, very peacefully.
Gone.
Meanwhile, standing in front of me, Chen Yuze slowly looked away for the first time since coming here-
And that was exactly when I noticed it.
The tiny black earbud hidden beneath Yuze's dark hair.
My brain stopped.
Slowly…
very slowly…
I looked back at the AirPod in my own ear.
Then at him.
Then at his ear again.
That piece of—
He was listening the whole time.
The entire time.
I saw him hurriedly pull out his AirPod and clench it tightly in his fist, as if he could physically erase what he had just heard.
For the first time, his composure cracked—just slightly.
His ears had gone faintly red.
And somehow, that single detail made the entire situation even worse for me.
I felt like burying myself again—like I did every single day in moments like this.
There was nothing else left to do.
No explanation that could fix this.
No dignity left to save.
So I did the only thing I could think of.
I turned and ran.
Straight out of the cafeteria.
Straight out of the disaster I had somehow become the centre of.
Behind me, the noise of the world continued—voices, laughter, confusion—but I didn't stop to look back.
I just kept moving forward, clutching onto whatever was left of my sanity.
Leaving behind an unfinished story.
And one very expensive, very cursed AirPod still in my ear like a reminder that none of this had ever been normal to begin with.