Sin.
I've committed too much of that.
The years I lived was filled with what I can only describe as...
I don't know.
I'm not very good with words, I never finished middle school.
Perhaps that was the reason I lived this kind of life, maybe I regret it a little.
I wronged my siblings, abandoned my friends, killed my otherselves, those who cared deeply for me... ended up ruining themselves.
So, I promised myself, in this new life I had gained.
I will repent.
***
The morning light pierced the white curtain of a certain room in the Capital of Heindarr Kingdom. It shone on the face of a sleeping beauty, highlighting her soft features.
Her silver hair splayed across the bed like a fan, she fluttered her eyes, finally awaking.
She sat up, gazing at the morning sun through the window. Still dazed, she raised her arm and carefully examined it, her unique red eyes traced every contour of her hand.
It was a delicate small hand with a neatly trimmed nail. This hand belonging to her was so pure that it had not taken any life.
Unlike the one she had in the past.
That thought came across her like a train, and her hand immediately slapped her right on the cheek, startling herself.
That was me.
This is me, the new me, my new self, it has been 18 years since I reincarnated as this person.
As me.
I yawned, looking at the sheets, I must've slept like a fish out of water. Fortunately, it is still 06:00 AM, I have plenty of time to clean, tidy, and make breakfast for my family.
The floor creaked slightly as I stepped on it. At the desk just beside my bed, I grabbed a green scroll, it looks quite old, the parchment smells pungent and weird, I don't like it, but it's the only magic scroll my family has.
Unlike my brother and sister, I'm not a genius, not an intelligent person, just someone who wants to repent and do good. I haven't fully memorized this magic scroll even after three years of reading and comprehending what's written on it.
When I found out about magic in this world, my heart thumped, thinking of how many wonderful things I can do with them. But of course, I won't waste my life on things like that again, not like I could with my minimal talents.
I chanted the spell, the atmosphere darkened, the lights glimmered like a dying lamp as winds began circling my body.
I pointed at the bed, before softly finishing the incantation.
"Tidy."
A spell to 'tidy' the target.
The bed rustled. Then, a glowing light emerged from them, lifting all the blankets and pillows to the right position.
It is indeed a very convenient spell.
Of course, tidying a bed is the limit of my mastery for now, so I head straight to the bathroom.
The place is still dry, no one has used it today, definitely because my brother and sister are still sleeping.
As for my parents... they don't use this bathroom anymore.
They are such a slacker really.
If Older Brother isn't the one paying tax, he'd definitely be the first one I would dispose of.
I finished the bath as quickly as possible and glanced at the clock.
06:30 AM.
This is bad, I need to go to school at 08:00 AM, so I prepare myself as fast as possible.
By the time I finished preparing, it's already 06:50. Just enough time to make breakfast and wake the other.
But sadly, not everything goes as smooth as I want. In the fridge, there are only the usual pieces of meat that my brother and sister occasionally get. The milk, eggs, onion, they are nowhere to be seen.
I sighed. Sometimes, I really want to go back to those old days where I can do anything I want.
No, I shook my head. I've committed too much sin, this is the price of my insolence.
Fortunately, the spices are still here. Using my various knowledge from the past, I easily make a famous original dish by my otherselves.
Sometimes I wonder if they're also here or not, though I'm not sure if my relationship with them will get better.
And so, the dish is ready. Of course, she comes right after I finished cooking.
My Younger Sister Sonia, only 15 years old. She is similar to me in terms of face features and body, with the only noticeable difference being her long black hair contrasting my silvery white.
"Sister, what are we eating today?" Sonia asked, bouncing happily like a kid getting a new toy.
"It's the same meat from all other days, sometimes I wonder if you stole the things I bought Sonia..."
"Ehh! I never stole anything from you, maybe it's brother! He's always the most mysterious one, living inside the basement and rarely coming out."
I forced a smile, I never really liked this cheerful sister of mine, she is too direct and blunt and stupid and sarcastic and dumb and... fake.
Wait, I shouldn't say that, I'm a good, lawful citizen, I'm a good sister, a respectful person, I'm a...
"Sister...?"
I snapped back.
"Ah, sorry, your sister was just daydreaming."
She continues to eat the meal, if one would examine her, they'll find that her face showed no signs of emotions.
Clearly, she isn't good enough at mimicking.
sometimes I wonder what she would look like when she's grown up.
***
In this world, where magic exists, an academy exists too.
By extension, demons and evil organizations planning to take down the academy exist too.
But unlike those powerful protagonists with their charming female lead, I am weak.
I am pitiful, deranged, crazed, maniacal, stupid and... lost?
I shook my head.
These guys are too noisy nowadays, it's hard to concentrate even for a second. I really want to massacre them again like the good old days.
But this life exists to repent, I still exist so that I can repent.
What was I talking about? Right, I attended a normal academy, not the greatest academy of all time where all nobles learn there.
There is a luxurious dormitory, but it's expensive. Even if it's cheap, I won't use it because one of my primary goals is to be a good sibling.
Leaving them is not an option for me. It's not like I'll miss out on something good anyway.
This academy, is just a school, but magic.
Still, it's a new experience for me because I have never entered a highschool.
***
The bell tolls, marking the end of school.
Students began packing their books, some was already carrying it down the hallway.
Among them, there was someone that stood out the most.
A silver-haired girl, carrying her bag with a lady-like demeanor, her composed face exuded calmness and warmth, her crimson red eyes felt weirdly beautiful to the students.
The boys, silently glanced at her while the girl started gossiping. Yet despite all the attention, she did not budge even a little, and instead left the academy.
At the crossroad in front of the academy, she turned left.
And finally arrived at her home.
It was not that long of a journey.
She knew it.
but others didn't, because they never tried to see her life.
The sun was already setting on the limited horizon of the crowded city. The gate to her house was opened, someone had clumsily forgotten to close the gate, and she knew who it was.
She opened the door, kicking her shoes of her feet and began walking towards Sonia's bedroom.
"Sonia! You forgot to close the door again!"
"What if a robber comes over?!"
In front of Sonia's bedroom door, she took a deep breath, bracing herself for the worst.
Then, she opened it.
Inside, there was Sonia, sitting on the floor.
Alongside the dead body of a masked robber.
She was playfully poking at the man's heart, its chest was opened widely, cut by a crude knife.
The blood slowly seeped out to the floor, touching her toes.
It was warm.
She looked at Sonia with a disgusted expression, and also scared, and also shocked, amd also displeased, and also anger, and also...
Concern.
Then, she lashed out. "Why...? Why now!? You never glanced at me when I was at the academy!"
"Why now? I also... want to have a real life..."
Her right hand moved not out of her will and slapped her in the cheek.
I slowly caressed my cheek, that slap was slightly strong, it hurts...
I don't want to feel pain in this world.
Enough of me, Sonia needs some comforting.
I walked closer to her, the red blood taints my feet, I kneel so that I can look her on the face.
The blood taints my skirt.
At least my face is untouched.
Sonia is still playing with the dead body, so I shake her shoulder.
She looks over and...
Tears starts to fall from her eyes, she screams like a kid whose ice cream accidentally fell.
Seeing this, I hug her, cradling her in my embrace.
She is so young, so innocent, so naive.
"Sonia... when you accidentally kill someone and is found by someone close to you,crying is not a natural reaction. You should try to explain, with tears, with trembling voice. Simple things like that are needed to become a human."
She continues to cry.
"Good, when someone consoles you after you've done something wrong, cry. Show them that you regret your actions, and..."
I trace her right shoulder, down to her arm, to her palm where a knife is resting.
Then, I guide her hand to hug me while slowly shifting the knife into backward grip.
"And stab them."
In this new world.
I will take care of my siblings.
I will pamper them.
I will give them everything they want and need.
After all, the reason I still exist is so that I can...
Repent.