Chapter 7: This Is Truly Bad Luck
At the Hero Association Headquarters in A-City.
"Ring ring ring!"
A phone rang, and a customer service representative answered, "Hello, this is the Hero Association. How may I help you?"
"H-Help... A Mysterious Being has appeared in M-City!?" the panicked resident on the line screamed.
"A Mysterious Being in M-City?" The customer service representative was startled and quickly inquired, "Sir, please calm down. Can you give us the exact location and describe the situation?"
"Okay... okay, the Mysterious Being is... it's a Cola Mysterious Being. It appeared on the street next to the East City wall. The straw on its head shoots like a machine gun. The scene is a mess; please send heroes over quickly to eliminate the Mysterious Being!"
"Understood. Please rest assured, we will dispatch heroes as quickly as possible. In the meantime, please stay safe. Goodbye."
After comforting the resident, the customer service representative immediately hung up and reported the situation to Maria, who was on duty.
"M-City again?"
Maria tossed her finely cut short hair and rubbed her temples, a weary look on her pretty face. "Next to the East City wall? Do we have to ask King to act again?"
"Team Leader Maria, there are no heroes near the eastern district. If we want to eliminate the Mysterious Being quickly, only King can intervene." The customer service representative hesitated, "Should we report this to the Vice-Director and the Director?"
"No need, they're already asleep. We don't need to trouble them with such a small matter." Maria waved her hand, making a decisive call, "Call King and ask him to eliminate the Mysterious Being."
"Yes."
The customer service representative immediately followed the order.
"Ring ring ring!"
The call connected, its ringing echoing through the quiet command room. However, no one picked up. It seemed King wasn't by his phone, and a moment later, the call was disconnected.
"It was disconnected?" Maria frowned. "Quick, assess the Mysterious Being's disaster level, contact the nearest available heroes, and notify the police department to protect civilians..."
Having lost contact with King, her ultimate weapon, she issued a series of orders, strictly following the Hero Association's procedures to ensure the Mysterious Being was eradicated in the shortest possible time, while also guaranteeing the safety of the residents.
…
"Heh... heh heh, I... I found you, you damn bastard!"
king's heart tightened, and he hastily hung up the Hero Association's call. At the same time, he cautiously peeked out to check on the Cola Mysterious Being. The Cola Mysterious Being located him by the sound and turned, its body swaying as it faced Kenggeji's main entrance. Its face, flushed red, showed a savage grin. The straw on its head turned towards king's position, bubbling with cola foam, ready to spray cola bullets at any moment.
Holy crap! I'm dead!
king's eyes widened, his chest emitting the distinct 'thump-thump' sound. He quickly scanned for an escape route, but realized with despair that his position was a dead end. If he wanted to run, his only way out was through the main entrance.
"Saitama, you baldy, show up quickly..."
In desperation, he performed the "Baldy Summoning Jutsu." Alas, this was a passive ability; actively summoning had no effect, and Saitama did not appear.
However, though Saitama did not appear, another "fated person" for king suddenly descended from the sky. The Kenggeji sign, for some unknown reason, snapped and crashed down with a loud clang directly onto the Cola Mysterious Being. Cola splattered everywhere, a truly miserable sight.
"This... did it just get crushed to death?"
king stared blankly at the Cola Mysterious Being that had been hit by the Kenggeji sign, his expression strange. At that moment, one-third of the cola-can body of the Mysterious Being was crushed, and its youthful face was contorted like a cubist painting. Deep brown cola, akin to blood, gurgled all over the ground. The Cola Mysterious Being lay motionless on the ground, presumably... dead.
"Ding! A nearby Mysterious Being Card is available for conversion. Please proceed to convert it!"
king waited for a long time without seeing the Cola Mysterious Being move. Only when the System's prompt sounded did he confirm that the Cola Mysterious Being was dead.
"Phew~"
He breathed a sigh of relief, feeling lucky to have escaped death.
"So it was digging its own grave."
He stepped out from Kenggeji and touched the Cola Mysterious Being's body. Instantly, he received a System prompt: "Obtained a 'One-Star Mysterious Being Card: Cola Mysterious Being'." He glanced at the fallen Kenggeji sign and noticed many bullet marks on its support frame. The young man, drunk and indiscriminately firing, had caused the sign to loosen and fall. The kid really did dig his own grave.
"Alas, another traveler in misfortune."
He looked at the tragic state of the Cola Mysterious Being, crushed to death by the Kenggeji sign, and couldn't help but think of his own transmigration journey—he had also been crushed to death by a Kenggeji sign. He felt a pang of sympathy.
"In consideration of our shared demise, I'll observe three seconds of silence for you."
king took off his baseball cap and bowed slightly towards the Cola Mysterious Being, expressing his sincere condolences.
"That... that's... King!?"
"Wow, it's King! King killed the Cola Mysterious Being!"
"Long live King!"
The citizens, who had been secretly observing the situation, were wondering why the Cola Mysterious Being had suddenly turned toward the Kenggeji restaurant. They were stunned the next second when the Kenggeji sign fell and crushed the Cola Mysterious Being to death. Just as they thought the Mysterious Being had died in an inexplicably bizarre way, king appeared. As fate would have it, he took off his hat for a moment of silence just as the residents spotted him, and they immediately recognized him. Thus, the residents naturally attributed the credit for defeating the Cola Mysterious Being to King.
"Huh?"
king bewilderedly scanned the cheering residents in the surrounding buildings. Why are they attributing the credit for killing the Mysterious Being to me again? I genuinely didn't do anything!
"Son—!"
At that moment, a mournful cry echoed.
"Hmm?"
king was puzzled and suddenly turned his head. Not far from him stood a middle-aged man who also seemed to be wearing a costume, but his was a green Sprite can with the word "Sprite" emblazoned on his stomach. A green straw was inserted into the top of his green can-lid head, and this straw was about a circle larger than the young man's blue straw, seemingly indicating greater power.
The middle-aged Sprite Mysterious Being looked at his tragically deceased son with a face full of sorrow. His rage flared, his eyes bloodshot, and he glared fiercely at king, enunciating each word: "I... will... kill... you!"
The green straw on his head gurgled, spurting clear Sprite, as if a volcano hidden beneath the surface was about to erupt at any moment.
Wait, wait a minute, I didn't kill your son!
king looked dumbfounded, hastily waving his hands to deny it. Who knew, before he could even utter the words "I didn't kill your son," an advertising billboard suddenly appeared in his line of sight. With a loud crash, it directly smashed onto the middle-aged Sprite Mysterious Being's head. Sprite splattered everywhere, and the transparent liquid flowed across the ground.
"Ding! A nearby Mysterious Being Card is available for conversion. Please proceed to convert it!" The System's emotionless prompt appeared once again. Needless to say, the middle-aged Sprite Mysterious Being was also dead.
"Wow!"
The residents watched King effortlessly eliminate the Mysterious Being with a casual wave of his hand, and they immediately erupted in excitement.
"King... I want to have your babies!"
"King, please accept me as your disciple! I'm willing to be your beast of burden!"
"The Strongest Man—King!"
king listened to the cheers from the floors above and below, breaking out in a cold sweat. This... this was truly an accident.
"Ding! Congratulations on obtaining a 'Two-Star Mysterious Being Card: Sprite Mysterious Being'."
He stepped forward and touched the middle-aged Sprite Mysterious Being's body, obtaining another Mysterious Being Card. At the same time, he curiously pinched the skin on the Sprite Mysterious Being's body and found that its shell, which resembled a Sprite can, was made of plastic. Out of curiosity, he also touched the Cola Mysterious Being's shell and found it was made of paper. It seemed that while their attacks were strong, their defense was a major weakness. No wonder both father and son were crushed to death by a sign and an advertising board.
Moreover, he glanced at the steel frame of the advertising billboard. The obvious bullet marks told him why it had fallen. The Cola Mysterious Being hadn't just gotten himself killed; he had indirectly killed his own father. What a terrible son.
"La la la, Cola, Sprite, it's almost dawn, why aren't you two brats back yet..."
At the street entrance, a cylindrical figure approached from a distance, simultaneously shouting the names "Cola" and "Sprite," like an elder looking for his mischievous kids who hadn't come home yet.
Damn it, don't tell me there's a... grandpa?
king's face instantly darkened. This was just rotten luck.
(end of chapter)