Leaning against the car seat, Shen Yunmian closed her eyes irritably, trying to drive those chaotic images out of her mind—but it was useless.
For the first time, she realized so clearly that in this marriage, she might have already… lost completely.
Alcohol dulled her thoughts, but it also tore open corners of her mind she would never normally touch.
About the body. About desire. About the long-imbalanced intimacy between her and Yu Sheng.
Shen Yunmian had been raised under her grandmother's strict teachings.
That strong-willed elder had always despised how her mother had used beauty and charm to climb into the Shen family, repeatedly warning her: true strength lies in intellect and ability—not appearance, and certainly not in using beauty to serve others. Emotions and desire were traps for the weak, enemies of reason.
Those words were branded into Shen Yunmian's very bones.
She discarded most traits considered "feminine," shaping herself into an efficient, calm, emotionless business machine—and brought the same principles into her marriage.
To her, the union of two women required technology for children, and physical intimacy was more like completing a task, or maintaining the superficial harmony of marriage—something with little inherent meaning.
Pleasure was unfamiliar. Indulgence was dangerous.
In her memories, it was always Yu Sheng who initiated.
At the beginning, newly married, Yu Sheng's eyes sparkled like they held stars. She would lean in with a shy yet bold smile, kissing the corners of her lips, carefully tracing her features, embracing her with complete trust and warmth.
Back then, Yu Sheng's love was overwhelming and direct, almost overflowing.
But Shen Yunmian's responses were always restrained—even clumsy.
She was used to controlling everything, yet in this matter, she felt awkward and at a loss.
She didn't know how to respond to such intense passion, and the feeling of losing control made her uneasy.
She thought that was normal.
Later, at some point, Yu Sheng's initiative gradually faded.
Those bright eyes that always followed her slowly dimmed.
Kisses became routine goodnights. Hugs grew so brief they barely carried warmth. Yu Sheng no longer looked at her with that gaze full of love and desire.
Shen Yunmian was not completely unaware, but she had attributed it to the "stable phase of marriage."
She had even felt a faint sense of relief, believing that this kind of polite, mutually respectful, and separately busy state was more "normal" and "efficient." She had grown used to Yu Sheng's concessions and adjustments, and took them for granted.
Gradually, she accepted this pattern and fixed a frequency for it, as if planning a project schedule, believing that maintaining one or two instances of marital intimacy per week was one of the indicators of a healthy marriage.
At specific times, she would enter the bedroom and fulfill her "duty" within the marriage.
She had never once thought to examine whether Yu Sheng was enjoying it, enduring it, or merely cooperating.
Until now.
Yu Sheng's words—"terrible skills," "no passion," "hugging a doll would be better than sleeping with you"—were like an ice-coated blade, shattering all her self-assurance.
So it wasn't a stable phase.
It was the accumulation of disappointment, the extinguishing of passion after being repeatedly met with coldness, the gradual death of love.
And she had been this slow to realize it.
When was the last time they had been intimate?
Through the haze of alcohol, Shen Yunmian struggled to recall.
Two months ago.
That day, she had, for once, come home on time without any engagements.
Yu Sheng had cooked a few dishes she liked, and the atmosphere had seemed gentler than usual.
Before going to sleep, Yu Sheng had lain on her side with her back facing her, long hair spread over the pillow, exposing the slender, pale nape of her neck.
Shen Yunmian remembered that she had felt a rare, unfamiliar impulse, wanting to take the initiative to kiss her wife.
But the moment her fingertips brushed Yu Sheng's shoulder blade, Yu Sheng's body had stiffened almost imperceptibly, then subtly avoided her. Her voice, heavy with fatigue, said, "I'm very tired today, let's sleep early."
At the time, she had truly believed Yu Sheng was just tired, withdrawn her hand, and turned over to sleep.
Now that she thought about it, how could that have been fatigue?
That was clearly silent rejection—complete aversion.
After that came the miscarriage, the cold war, the separation, until Yu Sheng firmly demanded a divorce.
For two full months, they had had no form of intimacy—not physically, and even being in the same space had become unbearable.
The neon lights outside the car window washed over Shen Yunmian's pale face.
She opened her eyes, which held an unfamiliar confusion and self-doubt.
So… was the problem really here?
Because of her indifference in this aspect, Yu Sheng had found it unbearable and ultimately lost all hope?
To salvage a marriage, did it really come down to learning those… techniques she had always disdained?
A strong sense of absurdity and resistance rose within Shen Yunmian—this completely went against her lifelong beliefs and behavioral principles.
But… what if this was the only way to ease their relationship again?
Once that thought appeared, it spread like wild vines.
The driver smoothly pulled into the Jiuxi Bay villa district, stopping in front of the dark, cold marital home.
Shen Yunmian dismissed the driver but did not get out of the car immediately.
She sat alone in the dim car, taking several deep breaths, as if making an extremely difficult decision.
Finally, with trembling fingers, she tapped open the chat on her phone. The exaggerated "study materials package" Qiao Wei had sent still lay there quietly.
Her fingertip hovered over the "download" button, struggling for a full minute.
Her ears burned red, and an overwhelming sense of shame nearly drowned her.
In the end, Shen Yunmian abruptly closed her eyes and pressed down hard.
The file began downloading.
At that moment, President Shen felt as if all her pride and dignity were collapsing along with it, shattering completely. Qiao Wei's mocking laughter echoed like a curse in her mind.
"'Hahaha! No way, Shen Yunmian?! I actually got it right?!'
'Could it be Yu Sheng wants a divorce because of you… hahaha…'
'Come on, come on, "study materials," guaranteed to teach you everything! Study it well!'"
Each sentence lashed against her self-respect, something that had never been trampled like this before.
Shen Yunmian quickly operated her phone, encrypting and hiding the files in an extremely secret folder, as if concealing some unspeakable evidence.
Returning to the vast, cold Jiuxi Bay house, the deathly silence swallowed her whole.
She didn't turn on the lights. Using the faint moonlight filtering in through the window, she walked straight to the liquor cabinet, poured herself another drink, but didn't drink it—just gripped the glass tightly, her knuckles turning white.
She struggled for a long, long time.
The ticking of the clock on the wall echoed, each second interrogating her dignity.
Finally, driven by an indescribable obsession, she walked upstairs step by step.
Entering the study, she locked the door.
She turned on the computer, connected her phone, and opened the encrypted folder.
When she clicked on the first video file, her palms were covered in cold sweat, as if she were performing something deeply shameful—betraying a lifelong creed.
The content was explicit and direct, an area she had deliberately avoided for over twenty years.
Her face flushed as she watched, and she couldn't help recalling every past intimate moment with Yu Sheng.
Yes—she had always been silent, efficient, and goal-oriented.
She had treated it as a marital obligation, a solution to physical needs. She had never thought about "pleasing" the other person, considering it a form of flattery and degradation.
She was used to absolute control, not to mention foreplay, atmosphere, or flirtation…
The scenes in the video formed a stark contrast with her barren and dull memories.
Being honest might be one of President Shen's few strengths.
At this moment, a realization slowly surfaced in her mind: what Yu Sheng said might not have been entirely out of anger. At least regarding "boring" and "lacking passion," she might… truly have no defense.
This realization brought more shame than the humiliation itself, along with a deep sense of helplessness.
Just then, her phone suddenly rang—it was Secretary Li, calling urgently, pulling her out of her immersed shame.
"President Shen, sorry to disturb you so late. We just received news—Miss… had a heated argument with Ms. Zhou in her office this afternoon."
Shen Yunmian's thoughts snapped back to reality, her brows knitting tightly. "What happened? Explain clearly."
After hearing the report, her expression completely darkened.
Her mother had actually gone to the company to interfere in Yu Sheng's work for Lin Ruoyan's sake. A surge of anger rose within her—anger at her mother's lack of boundaries, and irritation at Lin Ruoyan's endless entanglement.
She immediately grabbed her coat and car keys and headed out.
At this moment, all thoughts of study materials, shame, and embarrassment were cast aside.
A stronger emotion took over—Yu Sheng was her wife. Even if they were to argue, it wasn't anyone else's place to interfere, not even her mother.
She drove straight to Yu Corporation. By the time she arrived, the argument seemed to have subsided temporarily.
But the heavy atmosphere outside the president's office and the silent, tense expressions of the secretaries told the whole story.
She pushed the door open.
Zhou Yaqin was sitting on the sofa, her face displeased, clearly still angry.
Yu Sheng stood behind the desk, her back to the door, shoulders rising slightly as if suppressing her anger.
Hearing the movement, Yu Sheng turned around. The moment she saw Shen Yunmian, her eyes froze over, and a deeply mocking smile curved her lips. "What? Are you here to stand up for your mother, or to get resources for your sister?"
Seeing her daughter, Zhou Yaqin immediately stood up as if finding support, complaining, "Yunmian, you came at the right time! Look at her—what kind of attitude is this? No manners at all. I was just kindly reminding her to consider the bigger picture and not exclude Ruoyan, and she actually dared to slam the table and argue with me. She's completely out of line!"
Yu Sheng let out a cold laugh and shot back without hesitation, "Your so-called 'bigger picture' is sacrificing the company's interests to promote a useless pretty face with no professional ability? I can't and won't accommodate that kind of 'bigger picture.' My projects, who I use or don't use, is my decision. No one gets to interfere!"
"You!" Zhou Yaqin trembled with anger, pointing at her. "Yunmian, listen to her! This is the wife you married!"
In the past, Shen Yunmian might have sided halfway with both.
But now, looking at the anger in Yu Sheng's eyes and recalling her accusations, she suddenly realized that Yu Sheng wasn't being unreasonable—she was protecting her rightful authority and dignity.
And her mother had indeed crossed the line.
Shen Yunmian turned to Zhou Yaqin and said firmly, "Mom, Qiyun Film and Television is currently under Yu Sheng's full control. Personnel appointments and project decisions are within her authority. You shouldn't be interfering."
Zhou Yaqin froze, staring at her daughter in disbelief.
"Shen Yunmian, I'm your mother. How can you talk to me like this?"
Yu Sheng raised an eyebrow slightly, clearly surprised.
Shen Yunmian's tone softened but remained firm. "Mom, the company has its rules. Whether Lin Ruoyan's ability matches the resources is for President Yu to judge. Please don't interfere in this anymore."
After speaking, she signaled to Secretary Li at the door. "Secretary Li, escort my mother back."
Zhou Yaqin was furious—she never expected her daughter to embarrass her like this in front of Yu Sheng!
"Shen Yunmian! You—you've completely lost your mind!"
She shot Yu Sheng a fierce glare, grabbed her bag, and stormed out in anger.
Only Shen Yunmian and Yu Sheng remained in the office.
The atmosphere stiffened for a moment.
The mockery on Yu Sheng's face hadn't faded. She crossed her arms and looked at Shen Yunmian. "What? Changed tactics? A slap followed by a sweet date?"
Her words stabbed into Shen Yunmian's chest.
She knew her past indifference had hurt her deeply—so now, even when she did something right, it was seen as having ulterior motives. Her throat felt dry. She wanted to say something, but found every explanation pale and powerless.
In the end, she only said softly, "I was just stating facts. You handled it very well."
Yu Sheng let out a scoff, as if she'd heard a joke, and couldn't be bothered with her anymore. She turned back to her chair, picked up a file. "Enjoy the show? President Shen, please leave. I still have a lot of work."
Driven out once again without mercy, the small flicker of hope that had just risen in Shen Yunmian's heart was ruthlessly crushed.
She stood there in silence for a few seconds, afraid of provoking Yu Sheng further, and eventually turned and left.
—
T/N: Hi everyone! I just wanted to let you all know—I'm not sure if any of you have noticed—but lately I've been updating later than usual. I've been focusing on my studies since I have a ton of exams this coming week. I have tests every day except Tuesday, so I wanted to warn you guys that updates might be irregular. I wanted to apologize in advance for that!
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