Chapter 235: The 'Vicious' Plan!
"Ahh, um..."
"I didn't mean to..."
"L-Lady Hokage..."
The golden twin-tailed girl gazed at Sakura with an expression of pure innocence, on the verge of tears.
But—
Sakura simply stared back, expressionless.
Oh, GREAT. My reputation just got trashed, and NOW you show up looking like THIS? Are you here specifically to laugh at me?
She released her grip, and the girl she'd hoisted up dropped straight to the ground with a pained yelp.
"Lady Hokage..."
The golden twin-tailed girl's sapphire eyes brimmed with tears, projecting the exact image of a fragile, helpless, thoroughly pitiable creature as she looked up at Sakura, wounded and forlorn.
Sakura instinctively reached for her waist, intending to pull off her belt — then remembered she was a girl and didn't actually wear one on a regular basis.
Tch. Shame.
No chance to give this brat a taste of the belt.
But the girl before her, watching Sakura's motion, felt her bewitching yet innocent face flush slightly, her mind drifting somewhere else entirely.
Could it be...
Is Sakura actually planning to...
Wouldn't this be moving a little fast...
But — I'm honestly looking forward to it!
BRING IT ON!
Sakura ignored her entirely, her peripheral vision catching sight of a bamboo switch propped in the corner.
She walked toward it at an unhurried pace, under the girl's puzzled gaze.
The girl's eyes followed Sakura's path and landed on the bamboo switch too, a flicker of confusion crossing her face.
What's she doing with that?
Wait — could it be!
Sakura's actually into THIS kind of thing!
Oh...
OH, how thrilling!
But honestly... this is kind of exciting too... hehehe~~~
Just as the blonde girl maintained her carefully cultivated look of innocent allure, Sakura had already arrived before her, bamboo switch in hand.
"L-Lady Hokage..."
Her voice rang out clear as silver bells, soft and gentle, paired with that alluring face — utterly captivating. Even the tears still glistening in her eyes only enhanced the vulnerable, protection-worthy aura she projected.
But—
THWACK!
A sharp crack rang out in the empty night.
The girl froze, then looked down at the back of her own pale hand, where a thin red welt had appeared.
"So you have a thing for cross-dressing, do you?"
"You little—"
Pinky tightened her grip on the bamboo switch, tilting her chin up slightly, emerald eyes blazing with unmistakable danger.
"L-Lady Hokage..."
"Wh-what are you DOING..."
"I'm just a law-abiding, upstanding villager..."
The golden-haired girl, too distracted by the sting on her hand to fully register the threat, instinctively took two steps back, swallowing hard, a bead of cold sweat forming at her temple.
"NARUTO!"
"You had a perfectly good life as a man, and in the middle of the NIGHT you turn into a WOMAN — what exactly are you trying to pull?"
"If you don't want to BE a man anymore..."
"Then don't BE one!"
With that, Pinky lunged forward, and the bamboo switch came crashing down!
EEP!
At the sight, the girl's twin golden ponytails shot upright in terror, and she spun on her heel and bolted without looking back!
The switch missed its mark and struck the flagstone below with a devastating crack, shattering the solid stone paving instantly!
!!!
OH CRAP!
Is Sakura trying to KILL me?!
The girl glanced back, terror written across her face, and scrambled straight up onto a rooftop, desperate to escape — but Sakura, still fully enraged, wasn't about to let this brat off that easily.
If Minato ever saw the son he and his wife had raised turned into this, he'd probably wish he were dead all over again.
Though, technically, he already was.
Raising a child properly — that was the best possible interpretation Sakura could offer for what Naruto had just done, transformed into Uzumaki Naruko.
"STOP RIGHT THERE!"
Sakura, without a hint of hesitation, launched herself up onto the rooftop in pursuit of Naruko. The bamboo switch cracked down again, shattering a roof tile beneath the girl's feet.
"NO WAY!"
"If I stop, Sakura's gonna KILL me!"
Naruko, still fleeing, actually had the nerve to talk back.
This only fanned Sakura's fury further.
Oh, GREAT. You know full well you're getting beaten for this, and you STILL won't change back? Still got the energy to argue with me over it?
Clearly it's been WAY too long since I last disciplined this brat. Skin's gotten itchy, huh?
"STOP!"
"Let me BEAT you to death!"
Sakura roared, swinging the bamboo switch at the fleeing Naruko without letup.
No matter how much Naruko dodged, one solid strike still landed square on her backside, drawing a genuinely anguished wail.
"Sakura's being SO unfair!"
Naruko fled in a blind panic, thinking only of escape, with Sakura hot on her heels.
"WHO'S being unfair?!"
"Turning into a WOMAN in the middle of the NIGHT to hit on MEN, is that it?!"
"Didn't realize you had this kind of KINK!"
Sakura's fury only grew as she spoke — and then a horrifying thought struck her.
Hitting on men...
Wait — this brat couldn't possibly have gone to hit on Sasuke like THIS, could he?!
OH HELL NO!
Given how close Naruto and Sasuke were, that idiot might genuinely have gotten Sasuke to fall for it!
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU TODAY!"
If Minato and Kushina were watching from beyond, they'd surely support Sakura beating this kid to a pulp!
"HELP!"
"I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!"
Under the moonlight, Naruko's anguished wails carried through the night — enough to move any listener to tears, if they didn't know the full story behind it.
Under the moon, two girls chased each other across countless Konoha rooftops — the golden twin-tailed girl in front, occasionally letting out pained shrieks, and the cherry-pink single-ponytailed girl behind, relentlessly swinging her switch at the fleeing figure ahead.
All of this took place under the watchful eyes of all four previous Kage stone faces...
Dawn broke faintly.
Uzumaki Residence
Naruto lay face-down on his bed, thoroughly done with life.
Damn you, Sasuke!
You got me killed!
Something about turning into a girl making Sakura lean on you...
You lying bastard, it was all a LIE!
At the thought, Naruto's eyes welled with genuinely miserable tears.
Waaah. This world is SO cruel~~~
But before Naruto could fully recover from his despair, the front door of the Uzumaki residence was kicked open with tremendous force!
"Who's there?"
Naruto had just started to rise, thinking to confront whoever had the nerve to kick his door in — but the moment he stood, he found himself face-to-face with a distinctly unimpressed pinky.
"S-Sakura!"
At the sight of the girl who'd whipped him relentlessly all through the night, Naruto instinctively took two steps back, thinking to flee.
No way.
Hasn't she had enough hitting?!
Please, spare me!
"Strip and get on the bed."
Before Naruto could protest, Pinky shoved him straight onto the mattress.
!!!
Landing hard on his backside, Naruto nearly leapt back up on instinct!
His butt was already sore from last night's beating!
"Take off your shirt."
Sakura's expression remained perfectly flat as she issued the order.
"...Fine."
Seeing Sakura's cold expression, Naruto grudgingly stripped off his shirt, exposing his bare torso.
His back had also taken several hits from Sakura the night before, and he winced in pain.
"Lie face-down."
Naruto obediently complied.
Watching the boy lying flat on the bed before her, Sakura let out an internal sigh.
She pulled out a jar of medicinal ointment she'd grabbed from the hospital, opened the lid, took a small amount, and gently applied it to the wounds on Naruto's back.
"HSSS!"
"S-Sakura, gentle—"
Naruto hissed sharply, wincing in pain.
"Serves you right."
"Just bear with it."
Sakura's tone remained irritated, but her hands moved noticeably more gently.
Naruto buried his face in the pillow, feeling the cooling sensation on his back mixed with occasional stinging pain — and, oddly enough, found himself smiling.
"What are you smiling at?"
"Did the beating give you a taste for it?"
Sakura noticed his smile and spoke, displeased.
"No, nothing..."
Naruto's voice came out muffled.
"Just — I don't know, suddenly feels kind of nice."
Sakura's expression didn't change at all. She simply reached out and poked directly at one of his wounds, making Naruto's entire body stiffen and yelp in pain.
"Still feeling nice?"
"NOT nice! Not nice at all!"
"Do you know what you did wrong?"
"Wrong! I was wrong!"
"What exactly were you wrong about?"
"I was wrong to get so close to Sakura in the first place!"
...
"Quiet."
At Sakura's words, Naruto obediently shut his mouth.
Time passed, and every wound on Naruto's back had been thoroughly treated with ointment.
As for the ones on his backside?
Sakura had zero interest in touching that particular area.
She set the ointment jar on the nightstand, tossed off a "put some on yourself down there," and prepared to leave.
As for why she wasn't simply using medical ninjutsu to heal him instantly — Sakura wanted this idiot to suffer a bit longer, to properly learn his lesson.
So he wouldn't pull this kind of nonsense ever again.
Just before leaving, though, Sakura glanced back at Naruto, still lying face-down on the bed.
"I'll have Kushina bring you lunch."
With that, she left.
Naruto lay there, expression utterly forlorn.
Feeling the persistent sting across his back, he formed a hand seal, and a Shadow Clone appeared beside him instantly.
"The one on my butt is on you."
Naruto grimaced.
"Ugh, could you maybe consider MY feelings for once?"
"You get injured, and I use Shadow Clones — but MY butt hurts too, you know."
Even as he complained, the clone dutifully picked up the ointment from the nightstand and began applying it to the original's backside.
"This is all Sasuke's fault..."
The original Naruto grumbled.
"Yeah, seriously. If that bastard hadn't given you such a terrible idea, you wouldn't have gotten beaten this bad by Sakura."
The clone agreed readily.
...
"So let's turn into a girl and get REVENGE!"
After a long moment, both the original Naruto and the clone lit up with the exact same idea simultaneously.
"EXACTLY!"
"Let Sasuke taste the fruit of his own terrible advice!"
"Right, right, right!"
"We'll wrap him around Uzumaki Naruko's little finger!"
"That scene's gonna be HILARIOUS!"
"And at the end, when we see the look on Sasuke's face — completely wrecked — THAT'S when we get our revenge!"
Naruto and his clone bounced ideas off each other in excited unison.
Clearly, he'd already pinned the blame for tonight's beating squarely on Sasuke.
No one understood men better than Naruto. And no one understood women better than Naruto either.
Having invented his own Sexy Jutsu and Harem Jutsu since childhood, and having spent three years traveling with Jiraiya besides, Naruto considered himself a genuine expert in the art.
That Uzumaki Naruko who'd tried approaching Sakura last night had been a masterwork — the culmination of Naruto's finest techniques distilled into the perfect woman!
If Sakura hadn't already known exactly what Naruko really was, she'd have surely fallen for it too!
Of course, this was purely Naruto's own self-flattering assumption.
But regardless, a "vicious" plan of revenge against Sasuke had already taken shape in his mind.
He'd seduce Sasuke as Uzumaki Naruko — and the very moment Sasuke fell for her, he'd vanish without a trace. Forever.
That way, Sasuke would remember this for the rest of his life!
Then, decades later, he'd reveal the truth — that Uzumaki Naruko had been him all along — and watch Sasuke's utterly shell-shocked expression!
That would be absolutely priceless!
A "vicious" revenge plan spanning literal decades!
Even Naruto himself couldn't help but admire his own genius.
At the thought, he burst out laughing, and even his clone's face lit up with matching excitement.
"HSSS~~~"
"Ow, ow, OW!"
"Gentler, gentler!"
After leaving Naruto's place, Sakura didn't head home — she went straight to the Hokage Building instead.
The moment she stepped back into her office, hurried footsteps sounded outside the door, followed by a knock, and Kakashi and the others — having rushed back through the night without stopping — appeared before her.
"Mission accomplished."
Kakashi set a soccer-ball-sized bundle and two sealing scrolls on the desk before Sakura.
Inside the bundle was Hidan's severed head.
Even decapitated, the man had shown no sign of actually dying — chattering endlessly the entire journey back, until Kakashi, thoroughly annoyed, had Guy knock him unconscious with a pair of nunchaku.
The two scrolls contained the bodies of Kakuzu and Maruboshi Kosuke, respectively.
Sakura had no interest in examining Hidan's severed head. Instead, she gently picked up the scroll containing Kosuke's remains.
This old man was different from the others.
His seniority within Konoha placed him second only to the legendary F4.
His Water Release had been passed down from Tobirama himself. His Earth Release, from Hiruzen. Even his Body Flicker technique had been taught to him personally by Minato.
A man like this, giving his life — his funeral could never be treated like an ordinary shinobi's.
"And regarding Lord Hiruzen..."
Kakashi, clearly having noticed Sakura's hesitation, spoke gently.
Hiruzen, as Hokage for decades — having served under the First and Second, then governed through the Third and Fourth generations, and now into Sakura's Fifth — had precious few peers left from his own era.
And Kosuke had been one of the very few old friends still remaining to him.
Now, Kosuke was gone. Sakura still hadn't told her teacher the news.
But now, it seemed, there was no putting it off any longer.
"I'll go tell Sensei myself."
"All of you have worked hard. Go home and rest."
Sakura tightened her grip on the scroll in her hands and let out a quiet sigh.
☆☆☆
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