Chapter 283: Mei: "Mammon, Mammon, Got Any Mega Pokémon That's Both Handsome and Strong?"
"Mammon, Mammon, you there?"
Seeing the message from Mei pop up, Mammon raised an eyebrow.
"What is it? Someone looking for you?" Cynthia noticed the shift in his expression with her usual sharp attentiveness, asking curiously.
"Just that girl Mei. It's nothing, go on." Mammon replied briefly. He had to admit, Cynthia's technique really was excellent — soft thighs, and a faint, pleasant fragrance clinging to her. Well — mostly it was the sense of accomplishment talking. The goddess-Champion adored by countless people across Sinnoh, currently attending to him personally — that just hit different.
Cynthia said nothing, her movements only growing gentler.
"Here. What's up?"
Mammon typed back. He was genuinely curious what Mei wanted — her sudden confession earlier that day had honestly caught him off guard. He knew perfectly well the girl had a strong crush on him, but she really did go in for the direct approach — a little too direct.
"Something I wanted to ask the almighty Mammon about — mind if I call?"
It said something about Mei — for all her breezy, energetic bluster, she actually had pretty good instincts about boundaries. It was 9:30 at night; for anyone with decent self-discipline, that was already bedtime territory. And it was exactly that concern that had made her text first instead of just calling outright.
Seeing the message, Mammon just called her directly, on speaker. It connected in under a second.
"Hellooo~ Mammon, Mammon, good evening~"
The twin-bun girl's sweet, bright voice rang out immediately.
"Don't put on the cute voice, talk normal." Mammon said, amused.
"Heh heh~ okay okay. Mammon, still up?"
"Just about to wash up and turn in. What did you want to ask?"
Mammon glanced up at Cynthia — from this angle, he had a perfect view of her elegant, pale jawline and the smooth curve of her neck. As he admired the view, his hand began to wander, slowly creeping up toward Cynthia's waist.
Cynthia's brow furrowed faintly, her eyes flashing a clear look of resistance at him. It wasn't like a little waist-touching was really that inappropriate — she'd just given him a back scrub, after all, and back in Hoenn during that couple's photoshoot she'd let him put an arm around her waist, even a cheek-kiss photo. But this was different! Especially since she'd already promised Caitlin she wouldn't.
Still, the shameless Team Rocket boss pretended not to notice, thoroughly enjoying the feel of the Sinnoh Champion's delicate skin under his palm.
Cynthia sighed inwardly, though she made no move to pry his hand away — she knew perfectly well it wouldn't do any good. Sorry, Caitlin. He just wouldn't stop touching! It's really not my fault.
"So basically, Mammon, remember how you gave us all a reward pick from the item stockpile today? I wanted to ask you about that."
"Not sure which Mega Stone to pick, right?"
"Wow~! As expected of the man I like — Mammon, you're seriously so smart."
The twin-bun girl's tone was practically glowing with admiration.
Damn, this girl really is good at this. Mammon had to hand it to her — this prodigy trainer with the twin buns had a genuine gift for making a guy feel good. Who could possibly resist that? Mammon found himself musing — if he actually had a girlfriend like Mei, wouldn't that be an absolute blast?
"Don't lay it on so thick, I can't handle it."
"Heh heh~ it's not flattery at all, that's genuinely how I feel."
Mei answered with an easy laugh — a line that had Touko, standing nearby, breaking out in goosebumps. What has happened to this woman? Is this even the same friend I know? Does falling in love really turn people into shameless simps? Touko couldn't help but sink into deep contemplation.
"There are actually quite a few strong Mega options out there — though it really depends on how well one fits your existing lineup."
Mammon figured he'd better actually think this through properly for her.
"Mei, what's your current core team look like?"
"Umm~ Serperior, Hydreigon, Volcarona, Krookodile, Chandelure, and Beartic."
Unquestionably a very balanced, multi-type lineup — all six of her mainstays covered completely different types.
"No Mega-capable Pokémon in there at all, huh. So you're planning to raise a whole new ace from scratch, right?"
"Yep. Mega Evolution's just too strong not to have."
Mei answered without hesitation. Sure, raising a brand-new ace from the ground up would take time and effort, but Mei was adamant — you couldn't afford a weak point in your lineup. If everyone else had it and you didn't, that was just handing away free advantage.
"That's the right way to think about it. Whatever the strengthening method — you might not always use it, but you can never afford to not have it at all."
Mammon genuinely approved of her thinking. It was exactly why he'd always found the anime's Masters Eight tournament arc so ridiculous — and that wasn't even getting into how sloppy the actual battle choreography was; the writers must have thought the audience were idiots. Ash himself had access to multiple power-up methods, and yet an actual regional Champion only ever used one, never bothering to learn the others? Did that make any sense?
Put bluntly — Z-Moves only needed a Z-Crystal, Dynamax only needed a Dynamax Band, Mega Evolution needed a Key Stone and a Mega Stone. Were these things really that hard to come by for someone standing at the very top of a region's power structure? And yet in the anime, Masters Eight figures like Leon and Steven stuck to exactly one power-up method the entire time, start to finish.
Leon especially — supposedly the undisputed, tier-above-everyone-else strongest trainer in the world within the show's own narrative — "stubbornly" used nothing but Dynamax, never touching Mega Evolution or Z-Moves. Forget whether Leon personally had access — even Ash could get his hands on Mega Stones and Z-Crystals easily enough. How could Leon possibly lack the resources? Even just to stay on good terms with a regional Champion of his standing, both the Kalos and Alola Leagues would have happily supplied him. This basically treated Leon like he had no brain at all — if a single request would've handed him a power-up method sitting right there for the taking, would a battle enthusiast as fanatically obsessed with pushing his limits as Leon really just... not bother learning it?
Leon winning the final using a single Dynamax against Ash's three-system combination was, frankly, deeply flawed writing to begin with. Mammon understood the writers wanted to give Ash's journey a proper capstone ending — but the whole Masters Eight battle arc was just a mess on its own merits. And honestly, having Ash beat out Steven's, Cynthia's, and Leon's teams — years of dedicated training — with a squad he'd barely just caught was already a stretch of believability on its own. There was zero need to also hand Ash two extra power-up methods on top of that. If the plan was for Ash to win regardless, why not let him win in a way that actually made sense and felt satisfying? Instead it ended up being Ash-Greninja going full nostalgia-bait to barely scrape past Leon by a hair — which, stripped of the sentimental value, offered basically zero real satisfaction from a rational standpoint.
In Mammon's view, a top-tier trainer who knew these power-up methods existed and simply didn't bother learning them wasn't a competent trainer at all — that was pure arrogance. Sure, something like Dynamax with its energy-point and field restrictions, or Terastallization with its energy-replenishment limits, were special cases — but even if you didn't use them day-to-day, not bothering to learn or understand them at all, right up until the moment you actually needed them? Not a chance that flew.
"So Mei, what direction are you leaning for your Mega pick? Offensive type, or more of a support role?"
"Strong is the only direction that matters!" Mei answered just as decisively as before — bond and raw power, she wanted both.
"Mammon, Mammon, is there anything that's both handsome and strong for a Mega?"
The twin-bun girl asked, practically vibrating with anticipation.
"There is. Of course there is." Mammon smiled faintly. "They'll round out your team perfectly, and they all hit hard too."
"You want to raise a physical attacker or a special one?"
Mei thought it over. "Physical, I think. My team's not short on special attackers."
Hydreigon, Chandelure, Volcarona, Beartic, even Serperior — all of those leaned special-attack-oriented, really.
"If we're going for the optimal picks — Kangaskhan, Salamence, or Metagross. Pick one from those three."
The three Mammon named were all top-tier physical Mega attackers, and none of their types clashed with Mei's existing lineup — pure reinforcement, no overlap.
"Ummm...? Could you break them down for me, Mammon?" Mei's tone was full of indecision.
"Mega Kangaskhan, ability Parental Bond — devastatingly powerful, and pretty well-rounded across the board."
The value of a Parental Bond Kangaskhan really didn't need much elaboration.
"Mega Salamence, ability Aerilate. Mega Metagross, ability Tough Claws. Those two probably don't need much introduction from me either."
Salamence and Metagross — Hoenn's classic pseudo-legendaries, the textbook physical-attack Mega powerhouses. Nothing flashy about either of them — just raw, overwhelming power. Pure stats. Perfect stats. Do you have any idea the blood, sweat, and countless battles that went into refining Mega Salamence and Mega Metagross into the forces they are?
As for the other pseudo-legendary that could also Mega Evolve — the one from a certain other region...
Well. Since he was still resting his head on a certain blonde Champion's lap at the moment, Mammon decided not to elaborate further on that one. He just noted that Mei already had both Ground- and Dragon-type mainstays covered — so that particular pseudo-legendary wouldn't really be a fit for her anyway.
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