The smell of andácia-egél-ru cut my breath like glass shards in my lungs. I felt a similar taste in my mouth, but I didn't remember eating andácia'. This smell was worse than a piece of manure. The same smell found on the maids and on Zúsia, the girl I saw being raped before I fainted from exhaustion on the planet-ship. She was a pleasant girl whom I actually liked, for her appearance similar to my sister's—big, round eyes of golden color and curly golden hair. But she wasn't my sister, and not being my sister, I don't care if they rape or kill her. These things are war tactics, and everything is fair in war.
The smell of the quadrangular plant reminded me of what I had lost: my father, my dignity, and my "jungle." Everything I ever had in my possession was taken with hatred and envy. The thought that no guard had tried to protect me or at least follow me only indicated this same hatred. Those who worked in the palace knew of my nightly adventures but couldn't tell them without dying. These were the wars of the Accord of Zer'Malo'Kiou. An ancestor of mine, of importance comparable to Rhinorius Sturk, the man who destroyed an entire world because of the grader. What was supposed to be the universe's blessing quickly made him mad and aggressive. "That's the price to pay for such power," I think, getting up from the bed, clutching my chest and groaning slightly in pain.
If I was in this disgusting, shitty state, I don't even want to imagine what I would be like if I used Totalis Judgement.
The image of my father's dead face irritated me immensely and made me feel short of breath and a desire to kill to hide what I felt.
"Vengeance... love and survival—three words I will have to use from now on if I want to die happy. Of course, the survival of my brothers won't simply be forgotten. When I finish what I have to do and reclaim what is rightfully mine, I will make my sister queen and my brothers nobles. I will give them planets and voting rights in war and peace."
As I set foot on the floor, I notice that I'm still wearing clothes stained with my father's blood, and the pain in my chest worsens to the point that I don't know if it's just exhaustion from using the Arcane Judgment or something more "human" that I didn't want to admit feeling out of pride—sadness.
With my foot on the floor, I try to walk to the storage room door, but I fall, grabbing onto a dusty box. The smell of andácia' was more powerful on the box. I pull my hand away from the box with disgust and wipe it on my garment, as if I had touched Ariana's ass.
I feel a strong urge to vomit and faint, but I urgently needed to see my sister's and brothers' faces. I know I was saved by them, since the guards hardly did anything for me, only blocking the entrance to Ariana's sons of bitches, but are they alright? With a simple piece of bread, I can stand up, not easily, but standing is still standing. Now, the problem lay with my brothers, who weren't entirely blood-related. I was the only one who carried pure golden hair and blood.
The bedroom door lets in a ray of light. Ziring, my cyclops brother of a possibly extinct lineage, enters, his face contorting in an expression of panic.
"Brother!" He didn't call me "bro," which meant the panic on his face wasn't a facade. "Thank goodness you're awake!" He lifts me off the floor gently, contrary to the urgency. "We don't have enough daólina to land on a dwarf planet in Y. The material and food are starting to run out. We've been on this planet-ship for days, waiting for you to wake up. Actually, are you... okay? Every time I came to see you, you were sweating and cursing your mother's name."
"Days? My...?" The word "mother" triggered something in me that made me want to tear my brother apart. But I don't do it; he's too important to me to kill him for someone who wasn't even here. Besides, he had a similar problem with his own mother to deal with my shit.
"How long?" I ask him. I needed to know first how much time I had lost before coming up with a plan to land on a dwarf planet. "And, do you know if the planet is inhabited?"
"You've been sleeping for seven straight days. Mana has been feeding you andácia-egél-ru porridge. And..." He looks at the ground, avoiding my interrogative gaze.
"And..."
"This was a farmer's ship, so there's no information or Rázius. Which prevents us from receiving news..."
"Damn!" I scream. Knowing that we were about to crash onto an unknown planet without information about the situation in my galaxy was tremendously worse than eating that horrible, quadrangular fruit with purple stripes and a green base, like a mythical zebra. "Do you think we can get through the planet's atmosphere?"
"Almost, but no." He drags me back to the bed and leaves me to ponder. Until a smile spreads across my face. "I have an idea. I need a fah'Turk suit, I need something extremely explosive, if it's Findar crystals, even better, and I need Zequila to maintain control of the ship." Of the four of us, he was the only one with the ability to steer the ship correctly. "How many of these things do you think you can get?"
"All except the crystals. Remember, this is a farmer's ship that was in the middle of the street."
"And any other explosive material? Can't you get me any?"
"No, brother"—again with "brother." "But you can always ask for Mana's dress... it has..."
"I know," I reply dryly. "Is there anything to eat?"
"Yes!" He takes a piece of bread with ham from his pockets and gives it to me.
"Thank you." I accept it and give him a tight hug. "Big brother is going to protect you all. Even if I have to die." His "I'm strong" facade faded upon hearing these words, and he burst into tears. *"Big brother is going to kill the assassin and return to you..."* I think, mentally preparing an epic that has no hero. We all missed our father...
---
As soon as I open the door to the room where my sister was sprawled on the floor crying, she throws herself at me and digs her arms around me, into my very being. She, like Ziring and probably Zequila, was crying as if they were going to die by my hands.
I felt deep fear from the moment my sister understood what I'm going to do to her Findar dress. I'll most likely be thrown into space. Now that I think about it, how the hell am I going to breathe once I'm out there? The fatigue still hadn't disappeared, so using divinity to breathe was out of the question. I would have to do everything quickly.
Her crying still hadn't ended. All the sadness she tried to hold back releases itself with the same speed with which plastic burns when fire touches it. Her large, golden eyes let out an endless stream of tears. She is beautiful when she cries, but still, I feel a great tightness in my chest when that happens. I don't want to see her cry, at least not today. But today she will cry. And it won't be a little.
"Oh, my brother. What do we do now? Papa is dead. We lost our cozy home."
"My dear and beautiful sister," I say in the voice I usually use to tell very sad news.
"W-what? D-did someone else die?"
She begins to shed more tears from her beautiful, big eyes.
"That's not it, my sister. I need all your clothes. Or we'll die in space. Please don't be upset."
"I-it's okay."
She takes off all her clothes in front of me. After all, she trusts me the same way a fat man trusts his food.
But before I could contemplate the beauty of my sister's naked body, Ziring calls me, and I hand a tremendously large shirt I found in the storage room to my sister, and leave the room, telling her:
"Big brother will be right back." She gives me a second tight hug, and I give her a kiss on her left cheek, the same cheek where the H was on the man who killed my father.
"I love you, my brother." I smile and leave the room to find Ziring with everything prepared in his arms.
He hands me the suit. *"If you can't hunt with a dog, hunt with a cat,"* I think, remembering the fact that I need to use a suit to breathe instead of my blood due to the exhaustion from the Arcane Judgment.
As I pass by the control room, Zequila smiles at me and winks. I do the same to the sword maniac and prepare—already wearing the suit, only the cable was missing to ensure I wouldn't be left behind.
With a nod, I leave the ship, and the cold pierces my entire body, adding another layer of pain to what I already felt and the fatigue.
I advance calmly to the thrusters, my heart racing and my anger and sadness increasing. If I'm too weak, I will die today, without completing my manifesto of hatred. When I reach the thrusters, I hold onto the tail of the circular planet-ship and wait for the daólina to come almost to the moment it runs out. When the warm light of the thrusters begins to die, I stick the dress inside and wait with my heart in my mouth...