Disclaimer: Detective Conan is not mine. This fanfic is a translation.
Enjoy Reading!
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Around dinnertime, Ritsu sat on the sofa with a novel he had pulled from the bookshelf. But the moment he opened it, he realized something was off.
The cover was clearly about criminology yet inside was a photobook of the "Earth Ladies Team." As expected of Vodka, he really wasn't afraid of the day Gin might come over and casually pick up a book to flip through.
Ritsu suddenly found himself wondering what kind of expression Gin would make upon seeing all these idol posters and gravure photos.
At first, he had been worried that Vodka's cooking might be on the same level as his own. But as rich aromas drifted from the kitchen, Ritsu accepted the harsh reality. He was the only one with cooking skills from hell.
Even that cold, short girl, yes, thirteen-year-old Miyano Shiho, could cook.
After bustling around for a while, Vodka finally brought the dishes to the coffee table. He boldly carried over an entire crate of hard liquor, vodka, brandy, even rye whiskey.
"Try the borscht first, plain."
"Is there some special way to drink it?"
Grinning, Vodka picked up a bowl of sour cream and explained, "Where I'm from, we like adding sour cream to most dishes. I wasn't sure if you'd be used to it, so I didn't mix it in beforehand."
Looking at the bright red soup in front of him, Ritsu noticed it was packed with ingredients. It was an authentic Ukrainian-style borscht, even with beans added.
He scooped up a spoonful and took a sip. The hot soup was perfect for winter. Rich broth simmered with vegetables and beef, full of flavor. No wonder it was such a representative Russian dish. Though, it was a bit salty to drink on its own.
"Should I add all of this?" he asked, glancing at the sour cream.
"Just a couple spoonfuls."
Once the sour cream was mixed in, the soup instantly became smoother and tangier, balancing out the saltiness. To Ritsu's surprise, he really liked it. At Vodka's suggestion, he even dipped toasted bread into it, an excellent combination.
"Well? Like it?"
"Yeah. It's great."
Vodka immediately pushed the beef stew toward him. "The boss really likes this one. Give it a try, Macallan."
Russian cuisine really did love sour cream. Added to the beef stew, it made the meat more tender and the sauce richer.
Beef, potatoes, onions, carrots—ingredients that could easily make Japanese curry. But with tomato sauce and pasta sauce simmered together, it turned into an entirely different dish.
Vodka had also added sour cream and red wine, giving the sauce more depth. Ritsu picked up a piece of beef and put it in his mouth, it practically melted without chewing. Even someone without teeth could eat it easily.
The aroma of cumin was strong, and the vegetables were fully infused with flavor. Paired with quinoa rice, it elevated the meal even further. Even Ritsu, who usually couldn't manage two bowls of rice, found himself going for a third.
He could finally understand why Gin liked this dish, it was incredibly satisfying with rice.
After eating came the drinking. Ritsu didn't have much of a tolerance for alcohol, but considering Vodka's hospitality, he decided to have a glass.
"I'm telling you, the four members of the Earth Ladies Team all have a naming pattern. Did you notice?"
"No."
Holding a glass of iced rye whiskey, Ritsu took a small sip and frowned. As expected, he wasn't used to strong liquor. He preferred milder drinks like fruit wine or rice wine.
"Each of their names represents a different beautiful scene on Earth. Heh, guess what Kaoru represents?"
Glancing at Kaoru's poster on the wall, Ritsu picked up a piece of Vodka's special fried potato wedges and muttered, "The grasslands, right?"
"Correct! And the others represent snow, stars, and the ocean!"
More than half an hour passed as Vodka rambled endlessly about idols. Ritsu felt like his brain was being force-fed a mountain of completely useless trivia.
For example, Kaoru's favorite food or the exact shade of lipstick Yukino liked best…
He glanced helplessly at the three empty bottles beside him. 'When will this idol otaku finally shut up?' After three bottles of vodka, he still wasn't drunk, was he even human?
A bold thought crossed Ritsu's mind, he wondered what would happen if he lit a match and stuck it in Vodka's mouth right now.
Yet Vodka remained full of energy, staring at a melodramatic romance playing on TV and shouting, "Hey! Why is this woman so stupid?! Can't you see your man is lying to you? Open your eyes! This makes me so mad, how can you forgive him?!"
"…"
Actually talking to the TV, truly worthy of you, Vodka.
After another half-bottle of liquor, the chatterbox finally started getting drowsy.
"Hic! Whew, that was a great drink!"
Finally satisfied? Time to sleep, then. Ritsu had originally planned to return to the lab, but he was already a little tipsy. Drunk driving was out of the question, so he decided to crash in the living room for the night.
"Macallan, you're the guest… how can you sleep on the couch? Hic!" Vodka drunkenly pointed toward the bathroom. "Go sleep in my room. I… hic! I'll sleep here!"
Ritsu had been about to argue that he preferred the couch but before he could, Vodka collapsed onto it and fell asleep in under two seconds. That instant-sleep skill was maxed out.
With a sigh, Ritsu went to the bathroom to freshen up, then headed into the bedroom. Instead of sleeping immediately, he checked the room for anything useful, like a diary, but found nothing. Eventually, he lay down to rest.
He had no idea how long he slept, but he was vaguely awakened by a strange sound.
Rubbing his throbbing temples, Ritsu frowned. 'I didn't even drink that much, how am I hungover already?'
"Mm… mm…"
"??"
Hearing the odd noise from outside, Ritsu, ever vigilant, instinctively reached for the handgun at his waist and quietly stepped into the living room.
That's when he realized the sound was coming from the couch.
And what he saw next was… bizarre.
Vodka lay there fast asleep, drool trickling from the corner of his mouth. Yet he was mumbling in his sleep, muttering something in Russian that couldn't be understood.
Curious, Ritsu crouched beside him and pulled out his phone, opening a voice translation app to catch what he was saying. Who knew, maybe he'd uncover some secret about the organization?
But when the translated fragments came together, Ritsu was left speechless.
This nearly 6'3" man, who could down three and a half bottles of vodka, was homesick in his dreams. He was even mumbling about wanting to eat his grandmother's eggplant rolls.
A tear slid from the corner of his eye, mixing with the glistening drool at his lips.
Ritsu began to question reality.
Was this really an important member of a global criminal organization?
Wasn't he just… an ordinary middle-aged man working abroad, spending his free time chasing idols and drinking?
'Didn't expect you to be this kind of Vodka.'
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Fun Fact: The author Aoyama Gosho has mentioned that Vodka likes watching TV and even talks to it and sometimes cries at night because he misses home!!! This isn't made up; it's official character info!