I sat in the middle of the studio as Maki sat across the table with the warm glow of a halo behind her head. The studio light was suitably dim, with a very gentle movement that mimicked flicker of a campfire. The guests, VR avatars of unquestionably good people, sat comfortably in the audience section, attentive and caring.
"So, you are back, Minamong. How have you been?"
This was only my second appearance in the show, yet I already felt very at home here. I had always been a big fan of Maki and her show ever since I joined Euphoria, and while it was at first daunting to imagine myself being in the center of attention, her calm and inviting voice and the overall welcoming vibe of the studio and its audience soothed me. Nobody comes to Maki's show for pleasant reasons, but we all leave with parts of our wounds healed.
"I've been through some rough times."
"Aw," the audience let out a sympathetic moan, perfectly synced.
"You only need to say what you feel comfortable enough to share," Maki said, reassuringly.
"I… so many things happened. My PC broke down, I almost lost things that were really… important to me. My brother had to give up things that were important to him for my sake, and there's this person I never wanted to see who came back to my life, and… and…"
"Shh—take a deep breath."
I did as I was told.
"It must have been really overwhelming for you."
"Yes, I'm so glad you understand."
"We all understand, Minamong."
Maki reached across the table and placed her palm on my hand. I almost felt like I could physically sense the warmth.
"Sigh… and amidst all that, I had a crazy dream."
Maki's eyes flickered. Once.
"Would you care to tell us about the dream?" she asked.
"I don't know. It was probably nothing. It was just really weird."
"I'm sure everyone would love to hear about it."
"…really?"
"Yes!" the crowd roared together.
"Well, if you so insist…"
:BREE! BREE!:
Aw, come on, Senne. Not now!
I wanted to shut her down, but of course, this selfish lady was only capable of one-way intrusion into my head when she felt like it.
"Hm, are you okay, Minamong?"
"I'm sorry, Maki. It's really nothing."
I apologized.
:Bree! Bree! Look at me!:
I tried to ignore Senne's booming voice as much as I could, but it was incredibly irritating.
This is my healing moment, my only refuge—why do you have to disturb this precious time?
I was shouting inside my head.
"Minamong," Maki called my name again. Her hand virtually squeezed mine tighter.
:Look, Bree! QUICK!:
"OH SHUT THE HELL UP!"
I finally snapped and shouted, which brought a gasp from the audience. Maki's eyes flickered once again.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I wasn't speaking to you, Maki! Someone was bugging me offline!"
But Maki was truly kind, precious—an angel.
"No problem, Minamong. We understand. Why don't you tell us about your dream now?"
:BREEEEEEE:
"I'm sorry, but I really have to go now. I'm so sorry. But I will be back! I promise!"
With that, I quickly logged off mid-session, took off my headset and screamed.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!"
I then saw Senne juggling two squishy balls in her hands.
"Look! I can juggle now!" she exclaimed.
"Are you frigging serious?!"
Senne stopped and the balls dropped to the floor with a soft splat.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"YOU are what's wrong. YOU are the biggest problem in my life. YOU are ruining everything. Can't you just leave me alone at least when I'm in Euphoria? I had to leave in the middle of a conversation with Maki!"
Senne stood still. Her flame seemed to shrink, then she spoke.
"Is it… that great over there?"
"Yes!"
"Is she… that great? This 'Maki'?"
"Yes!"
"…greater than me?"
"Not even comparable!"
Senne dropped her shoulders, turned around, went over to the corner of the room and squatted down, facing the wall.
As if I was going to comfort you now, you idiot.
I already had too much going on. It was super stressful seeing Abigail again. It was unsettling to receive that message from karuhi. I took a rare day off from the stream, despite the fact that the viewership finally seemed to be picking up.
All for Euphoria, so that I could get my fifteen minutes of peace and comfort.
And you had to ruin it all.
I grabbed and put on my hoodie from the chair and walked out of the room.
I didn't want to be here.
I didn't want to be anywhere.
I just wanted to…
Disappear.