"I'm here," Potter called as he entered Severus' office.
"You are," Severus agreed as he looked Potter over. His cheeks were flushed from the chill outside but his eyes were bright and sparkling along with a grin on his face that made Severus believe his trip had gone well.
"Got ya somethin'," Potter said as he dug in his pockets. He pulled out a blue bag with the Honeydukes logo on it and reversed the shrinking charm he had on it before handing it over to Severus. "It's sugar quills."
Severus smiled as Harry threw himself in his chair.
"Thank you," he said genuinely. "How was your day?"
"Good," Potter said. "Guess what I did?"
"Something illegal no doubt," Severus scoffed.
"Nooo," Potter glared at him slightly for his comment. "I bought Ron an owl for his birthday."
"Did you?" Severus watched as Potter puffed his chest out proudly and repressed the urge to smirk at the Draco-like gesture. "I was unaware it was Mister Weasley's birthday."
"It's not, not til March. But I thought he looked sad, cause of Scabbers being an actual fuckin' rat instead of just a pet one, so I bought him an owl."
Severus was so taken aback by Potter's reasoning that he didn't even bother to correct his language.
"That was considerate of you," he said. "I personally had not considered Ronald's loss when I kidnapped his rat."
"I did," Potter preened. "Saw he looked sad and I fixed it, didn't I?"
Severus was truly impressed with Potter's decision. It showed no small amount of empathy that he was able to-
"And now I'm probably not his boggart."
God damnit.
"What were you thinking when you decided to purchase Ronald a new familiar?" Severus asked casually as he shuffled a stack of essays on his desk. "Specifically, if you wouldn't mind elaborating."
Severus could practically sense Potter furrowing his brow as he thought it through.
"Well I thought Ron was sad and figured I could fix it, you know? So I did."
"And you believed that you could also eliminate his current fear by doing this?"
"Yep," Potter grinned again. "Probably worked, didn't it?"
"Probably," Severus agreed. It was impossible to determine if Potter had undertaken the task due to altruistic empathy or because he had seen an opportunity to fulfill a personal goal. Though if the end result was him being kind to a friend, Severus supposed the intent behind the act was unimportant.
"How did you meeting with Black go?" he asked instead.
Potter shuffled uneasily at the question and Severus worried that Black had irritated the child in some way before he realized that Potter looked guilty, not unhappy.
"It was fine..." Potter said hesitantly. "He talks a lot, ya know?"
Severus smiled to himself as he realized why Potter felt guilty. It was for the same reason that he spoke with him before agreeing to meet Black today- he was needlessly concerned that Severus would be unhappy if he were too comfortable with Black.
"I am pleased to hear it went well," Severus said, attempting to interject as much warmth as possible in his tone. "Was Black cordial to your friends as well?"
"Yeah," Potter relaxed as he correctly judged that Severus was not displeased with him. "He's awfully social, ain't he? Rosmerta said he's an 'incorrigible flirt' too."
Severus nearly scowled as he remembered the way that the witches in their year used to trip over themselves for Black. Of course, once it was revealed that the man was not interested in women, then a decent portion of males became interested in him instead.
"He is," Severus agreed lightly. "Did you speak with him about your date offer from the older Mister Weasley?"
"No," Potter rolled his eyes. "What if he laughed, huh?"
Severus steeled himself as he prepared to do something he never imagined he would: defend Sirius Black.
"Harry, I do not believe that Black would have laughed at you," he said. "I am entirely confident that he would have been incredibly pleased with an opportunity to discuss the matter with you."
Potter watched him for a moment before shrugging.
"It's fine," he waved his hand negligibly. "I'll figure it out myself."
"What specifically is causing you distress?" Severus asked. He hadn't anticipated discussing dating when he took on Potter as his ward. Which, was rather shortsighted of him as Potter was destined to eventually become a hormonal teenager. More than that, Potter would be a popular target for the affection of others. He was famous, powerful, displayed a confident front to the other students, and, now that he was growing normally, he was a rather handsome child.
Thus, dating was inevitable. And if Potter refused to speak with someone else, then the task fell to Severus as his guardian to guide him through the daunting phase.
"I dunno, I just don't get what Fred wants, ya know? What d'ya do on a date? Would he want to hold hands like Mione and Theo do? Have sex? Kiss?"
Severus choked on his own salvia at Potter's casual inclusion of intercourse alongside the more innocent suggestions of holding hands and kissing.
"Not sex," Severus sputtered out. "Fuck, you're thirteen Harry."
Severus himself had not became sexually active until his sixth year. Though, as the Potions Master for a boarding school of co-ed students, Severus was not unaware that students began having sexual contact as young as thirteen, he just preferred his ward did not indulge in them.
Potter gave him a curious look, "So?"
"So, that is too young to be involved in a sexual relationship," Severus said firmly. "Much, much, too young."
"You know..." Potter grimaced and looked beyond Severus towards the wall. "You know I've- I've done that before," he said in what he clearly thought was a casual tone yet was strained and quivered ever so slightly. "So... so I'm not too young."
Pitiful.
"Despite how horribly uncomfortable you are about to feel, I need you to listen to me closely, understood?" Severus told Potter firmly. He waited until Potter nodded before he continued.
"Any sexual activity that you partook in up until now has not been consensual, safe, or pleasurable. Those experiences are vastly different from reciprocal intercourse with a partner of equal standing. Do you understand?"
Potter continued staring at the wall and, despite his bright red face, he appeared thoughtful.
"I c-consented to most of them," Potter admitted quietly. "B-but can we talk about something else?"
Severus wanted to, dear God he wanted to, especially if the topic was causing Potter to revert back to his rarely heard stammer, but Potter needed to understand the differences. And since Severus impulsively obliviated the Mind Healer, he supposed it was now his role to explain it to the pitiful child.
"If you would allow me to say one more thing then we can discuss something else," he said. "You were a child- a hungry, cold, homeless child. Agreeing to an act in order to acquire food, money, or shelter does not make you an equal nor consenting participant. Does that make sense?"
Potter shrugged after a moment and Severus saw as he slowly measured his breaths before his face resembled something aside from a heavily scarred tomato.
"Black said he's coming to the game this weekend," he said in what was perhaps the least subtle subject change in history.
Severus relaxed back in his chair at the new topic.
"Did he? Is he aware he will either be cheering for Slytherin or working against his godson?"
Potter smirked slightly now that Severus allowed the much simpler conversation.
"Told him that, said he had to wear green cause Chang's a twit, didn't I?"
Severus hummed at Potter's insult to Miss Cho Chang, a fourth year Ravenclaw student who was rather a twit of a girl. Not that Severus could agree aloud.
"D'you think you guys are gonna sit together?" Potter asked curiously.
Severus snorted and then immediately regret it as Potter seemed to slump slightly at his obvious disdain.
"Possibly," he said as he quickly back peddled. "I imagine Black will sit with Lupin in the teachers stand, which is where I typically sit."
"You could sit with my friends if you wanted sir," Potter grinned. "'M sure they'd be less annoying."
Severus grimaced fully as he considered what would undoubtedly be a much more annoying section to sit in.
"I'll take my chances with the Mutt," he said grimly. Potter laughed and stretched his back as he got to his feet.
"I should get to dinner before Susan comes hunting me down."
Severus pretended to shudder at the threat of Miss Bones which accomplished his goal in making Potter chuckle again.
As Potter was about to exit the office Severus recalled the Mind Healers notes outlining how Severus is unaffectionate with his ward (which was both unfair and untrue in Severus' opinion).
Potter turned and gave him a curious look as Severus called his name.
"Yeah?"
"You did a kind thing in purchasing Mister Weasley an owl," Severus said. Which was true, regardless of Potter's reasoning. "I am proud of you."
Potter blinked at Severus and twisted his lips in to a pursed position.
"Thaaanks," he said slowly. "I'll see ya later."
Severus let his head strike the back of his chair as he leant back rather roughly. It was entirely tempting to inform Black that he would be required to show Potter affection and handle any relationship question. Then he considered actually requesting Black do a single thing for his ward and changed his mind.
Despite how unbearably uncomfortable, and unnatural, it may be, Severus would handle it himself.
Black would likely mess it up anyway. The man was a moron.
***
Contessa Juliana Zabini,
Greetings Contessa, I trust that France is treating you well? My ward informed me that you enjoyed the holidays in France and I hope that this is true.
I am reaching out to you with a particular problem relating to my ward that I am hoping you may be able to assist me with.
Potter Harry has been diagnosed with a mind illness and could be treated with Muggle medication. However, the United Kingdom does not offer this medication to minors as of yet. France, in their superior medical advances, does.
My hope is that you may be able to acquire this medication for Harry? If you believe this will not be an infringement upon your time please let me know and I can send the precise medication needed. If not I will take him over the summer, however the sooner he is treated the better.
Kindly,
Severus T. Snape
***
The day of the Ravenclaw and Slytherin match dawned brightly. Despite the sun shining, Severus did not envy the players as they planned to fly through the skies in the bitterly cold winter air. He gave the Slytherin team nods of approval as they all ate hearty breakfasts.
Severus was pleased to see that Potter was uncharacteristically eating enthusiastically as he laughed and talked with his friends. He also kept shooting hopeful looks towards the hall doors before sending guilty ones towards Severus. Which, was rather easily interpreted.
Severus could easily admit to himself that he worried about Potter's relationship with Black. Black was easy going, social, affectionate, and kind- all the things Severus himself was not. Lupin had diminished his opportunity to bond with Potter the moment he witnessed Potter in two vulnerable moments. It may be unfair of the child to hold that against Lupin, but Severus had not complained because he found the situation perfectly tolerable. But now, especially after pursuing the notes from the Mind Healer, Severus was in a position where he should encourage Potter and Black's relationship for the benefit of his ward. Which he understood to be the reasonable route he should take.
Yet... yet he worried that Potter would find Black preferable to himself eventually. And where would that leave him? Pining after a position in the child's life that he hardly deserved? It would be pathetic.
But Potter's guilty glances were causing Severus to feel his own guilt. He finished his coffee as he mentally chided himself. Worrying over Potter's connection to Black would not cement his place in the child's life, he would have to instead show Potter that he could have both of them and that Severus would not be displeased to share him.
Even if it was a lie.
"Boys," Severus nodded to Potter and Draco. "Are you prepared for today?"
"Of course," Draco said with a bright smile. "Ravenclaw doesn't stand a chance."
"Thanks to the Seeker of course," Potter scoffed. "Slytherin Chasers could use some work."
"Oi!" Draco threw a napkin at Potter as the rest of their merry band of misfits laughed.
Severus saw Potter subtly glance towards the door again and internally sighed.
"What time is Black arriving?" he asked casually.
Potter turned his head back down to his plate and looked up at Severus through his lashes.
"Dunno," Potter said shortly.
"My assistance is required to supervise the students as they head to the pitch soon, if you would like I could point Black to the team locker room when he arrives?" Severus offered in as neutral of a tone as he could.
Potter looked up properly at him and narrowed his eyes in suspicion, which Severus thought was rather unfair.
"That's okay," he said. "If he wants to find me then 'm sure he can do it by himself, can't he?"
Severus inclined his head in silent acknowledgment.
"If you insist," he said. "I must go ensure that no children accidentally find themselves in the Forrest instead of the pitch, it would be a shame if Hogwarts lost half the Gryffindors." Potter's friends snickered and, with a last wish of luck, Severus left the hall to go supervise the students.
He entertained himself by docking points from the other houses as students shoved and fought their way to the pitch. It was frigidly cold and Severus sincerely hoped that the teams flying today were intelligent enough to utilize warming charms. Which, judging from the casual way Potter and Draco strolled to the locker rooms, it seemed as if his team was. Severus didn't miss the way Potter glanced around as he walked. While his vigilant glances were not unusual, the hopeful look in his eyes was.
Finally, about ten minutes before the game was set to start and the last of the students had entered the stands, Severus saw the wild mane of hair that could only belong to Black coming through the gates.
He grit his teeth and rolled his shoulders as he prepared himself,
This is for Potter, he reminded himself sternly.
"Black," he called, catching the man's attention.
"Snape," Black said cordially as he jogged up to him. "Have you seen Harry?" Severus was begrudgingly impressed to see a Slytherin scarf wrapped around the man's neck- he was sure Potter would appreciate the gesture.
"He is in the Slytherin locker room," Severus pointed towards the lockers. "I believe he has been waiting on you to arrive."
"Great," Black gave Severus an attempt at a smile, that looked much more like a grimace. "Uh... thanks then."
Severus nodded silently, as he felt as though he had exhausted his ability to remain cordial. He watched as Black ran to the locker rooms, an excited smile making him appear much younger. His duty now done, Severus made his way to the teachers box.
He bit back a scathing retort when he arrived and Lupin immediately asked him if he had seen Black.
"I believe he was wishing Potter luck," he said stiffly as he wedged himself between Minerva and Filius.
"Rough day Severus?" Filius asked sympathetically.
"And about to get worse," Severus muttered as Black bound up the stairs to the box.
"Minnie!" he cried. "It's been so long!"
"Not long enough," Minerva responded, her tone warm despite her words. "I heard you've made a nuisance of yourself in Rosmerta's pub."
"You know me," Black smiled. "Rosie complains, but she loves me."
Lupin sighed in a faux-put upon way as Black pulled a Slytherin scarf from his pocket and draped it around his neck.
"We're supporting Harry," he said firmly. "No pretending to be impartial today."
Severus clenched his jaw and decided to watch as the teams entered the pitch to avoid the lovesick eyes the two grown men seated in the row in front of him were making.
"There's Harry!" Black said. "Merlin he looks sharp, doesn't he?"
"Yes," Lupin agreed. "He's an excellent flier."
Lupin has seen one game, Severus thought harshly. He's hardly a judge of Potter's talents.
"How do you feel about your chances Severus?" Filius asked loudly. "Think Flint'll win the cup for his last year here?"
"Of course," Severus said. "Lord knows he'll need something to put on his resumés."
Filius chuckled, as did Minerva, and Severus felt a rather unprecedented feel of camaraderie amongst his fellow staff.
"They would still have to beat my Lions," Minerva said. "And Wood is maniacally practicing day in and day out."
The teams took to the air and Severus watched as Potter drifted higher than the rest of the players and began lazily making laps around the field.
"Sorry Minnie, but my bets on Slytherin this year," Black said cheerfully. "Harry nearly caught the snitch last game even after the dementors took to the field."
"He caught it the year before after Fred Weasley shattered his arm as well," Severus automatically added.
"Fred broke Harry's arm?" Black asked as he tracked Harry with his eyes. "Thought he was sweet on him?"
Minerva looked towards Severus who grimaced and lifted a shoulder.
"Fred is fifteen," she said stiffly. "And a hooligan to boot."
"Sounds like- oh shit!" Black gasped as Harry dove towards the ground quickly, causing the Chang girl to follow behind.
"Only ten minutes in the game it looks as if Slytherin seeker Harry Potter has spotted the snitch!" the announcer, Lee Jordan, a fifth year Gryffindor, yelled to boos from three quarters of the students.
"Don't boo my godson you prats," Black cried indignantly.
Severus nearly bit his tongue in half to prevent himself from commenting that Black used to have no difficulty booing Slytherin when he was a student.
This is for Potter, he chanted in his head as he watched his ward. Potter, less than two feet from the ground, suddenly pulled back on his broom and shot back towards the sky. Chang was not as lucky and nosedived in to the ground.
"IT WAS A FEINT!" Jordan shouted, now excited at Potter's tactic. "Potter pulled off a feint! Chang crashes and the score is 0-10 for Ravenclaw!"
Black jumped to his feet as he cheered loudly.
"Did you see that Moony?" he yelled. "Harry's like a pro out there!"
"I told you he was good," Lupin said as he cheered alongside him.
Severus lifted his hand lightly as Potter looked towards the box. Black of course waved obnoxiously.
"I hate this sport," Severus muttered to Filius as Potter flipped his way across the field.
"What's Harry's statistics on not getting injured during a match?" Filius asked.
Severus thought of Potter's one game he was able to play in his second year where he shattered his arm. Then he was expelled for what should have been his second match. The third Slytherin game was cancelled due to Granger's petrification. And the only match Potter has played in this school year ended in a dead faint and an outrageous number of severe injuries.
"Not good," Severus responded to Filius.
"Then he's bound to be due for an injury free game," Minerva said kindly as she patted Severus' knee.
After clapping for Draco as he scored his second goal for Slytherin, Minerva's words were proven faulty.
"FOUL!" Black screamed as Daniel Inglebee, the seventh year beater on the Ravenclaw team, cracked Potter in the knee with his bat harshly enough that the noise reverberated through the stands.
"God damnit," Severus hissed.
"He'll fix it right?" Black turned around and asked him nervously as Potter howled once but continued to fly.
"I doubt it," Severus said tightly as he saw his ward's left leg hanging limply off the broom.
"But- he's good at controlling his magic," Black insisted. "Why wouldn't he fix it?"
Severus glanced down and saw that Black did appear genuinely concerned.
"Harry's magic responds best when he is neither in pain nor in emotional turmoil," he said. "And I believe a broken kneecap will count as considerable pain."
"There he goes!" Lupin said as he pulled on Black's jacket.
Potter sped towards the Ravenclaw posts. He was bent across his broom in a needless effort to move quicker towards his goal. Potter stretched his arm out and-
"POTTER CATCHES THE SNITCH!" Jordan yelled. "SLYTHERIN WINS! 170-20!"
Severus applauded as he made his way to his feet, eager to get to Potter before the foolish child landed and attempted to walk on his leg.
"Moony I'll catch you later, okay?" Black said as he hurried after Severus. "Snape! Wait up!"
Severus barely slowed his walk to allow Black to catch up with him, curious as to what he wanted.
"Hey," he said. "I thought maybe we could talk after the game? About Harry?"
"What about him?" Severus asked as they both quickly walked towards the pitch where, of fucking course, Potter was limping towards them.
"We'll talk later," Black murmured as he ran towards Potter.
"Harry! You did amazing!"
"Thanks," Potter grinned before taking another step and wincing slightly. It was an odd moment to appreciate it, but Severus was mildly impressed by the child's pain threshold. Though of course the understanding of how he acquired it was a sobering thought.
"Er, Professor?" Potter glanced down at his knee and back up at Severus. "Think it's broken."
"Of course it is, sit you dunderhead," Severus growled without any real heat in his words. Potter flopped down on the ground and held out the snitch in his hand.
"I won," he said brightly.
"I am aware," Severus said.
"That feint was amazing!" Black crowed as Severus cast a quick diagnostic charm. "Where'd you learn that at?"
"Over the summer, Snape thought I'd never get it but I did."
Severus snorted as he read the results of the charm and relaxed slightly.
"I believe my concern was that you would not succeed in learning it at three in the morning, in the dark, as you attempted human transfiguration." Potter grinned up at him, the high from winning the match clearly beating out any pain he may be feeling. "You've shattered your knee. Would you like me to mend it or send you to Poppy?"
"You," Potter said simply.
Take that Mutt, Severus thought smugly as Black continued to dissect the game with Potter.
"Brackium Emendo," he said with a gentle tap on Potter's knee.
"Brill," Potter stretched his leg out gingerly before hopping to his feet and waving at his approaching teammates.
"One more game!" Draco yelled as he ran up to Potter. "We just have to beat Gryffindor-"
"As if that's hard," Flint snorted before clapping Potter on the shoulder. "Good catch Potter."
Potter's hand twitched at the contact and he easily stepped away from Flint, closer to Severus, as he shrugged.
"Told ya Chang's a twit," he scoffed. Draco laughed and fell in step beside Potter in front of Black and Severus.
"Susan's grabbing everyone else to go to the kitchen before they meet us in the common room," he explained as Potter looked around them on their way back towards the castle.
"Mione better not be bullying Mavis again," Potter warned him darkly.
"Mavis is your house elf, right?" Black asked curiously. "Why would Hermione be bullying him?"
"She keeps telling him he should be free and making him come cling on to me," Potter scowled. "Every time he sees Mione suddenly he's hugging on my legs and saying 'Mavis will be being a better elf'."
"It's gross," Draco added helpfully.
"You don't think elves should be freed?"
Severus sighed as Black's question set Potter off on a tangent that he himself had heard many times. Not only did Potter adamantly believe house-elves should be free, but he also discussed the possibility of purchasing an 'extra wand' and 'loaning it to Mavis'.
Potter's rant was interrupted by a loud whistle as the four of them approached the castle.
"Good game Little Snake," one of the Weasley twins, likely Fred, called to him through a crowd of Gryffindor students.
"Thanks," Potter mumbled, his face turning as red as Weasley's robes.
"Your leg okay?" Weasley called.
"Yeah."
"Wicked, so you can go to Hogsmeade with me on Valentine's Day?"
Potter managed to turn two shades redder as Draco and Black both chuckled.
"Ten points from Gryffindor for obscene remarks," Severus called as he saw Potter looked rather embarrassed.
Weasley shrugged and winked at Potter who quickly drug Draco inside the castle with him.
"Why didn't you say yes?" Draco laughed.
"'M not gonna fuckin' answer in front of a whole crowd, am I?" Potter said indignantly.
"Should have told him to piss off," Black suggested as he leaned against the wall. "Make him think you're not interested."
"Why?" Potter asked curiously. Severus was only mildly insulted to see that Draco appeared to be hanging on Blacks every word.
Potter will be unhappy if you fight with Black, Severus chanted to himself repeatedly.
"Makes you seem more attractive," Black said. "Moony made me chase him around for years and it drove me mad in a good way."
Severus privately thought that perhaps Lupin was unwilling to commit to a man who seemed to have a different date every month. Though it was none of his business.
Potter glanced at Severus before shrugging at Black.
"Maybe," he allowed.
Draco lightly tugged on Potter's sleeve, consciously not making contact with his actual arm.
"C'mon, we can't have a party until we get there. We're the only ones who scored any points today."
Potter laughed and his face instantly brightened at the reminder of their win.
"Er, thanks for coming," he said to Black with a hint of uncertainty. "Suppose I'll probably see ya in Hogsmeade next in a couple weeks?"
"Bring Fred," Black smiled. "Any kid who cracked the maps code has to be worth one date."
"We'll see," Potter said. "Thanks for fixing my leg Professor," he said to Severus.
Severus waved his hand, used to Potter's unnecessary gratitudes for simple tasks.
"Do try and be in your dorm by curfew," he said sternly. "And inform Miss Lovegood she should return to her own bed as well."
Potter gave Severus a half-hearted salute as he ran towards the staircase with Draco, intentionally ignoring his instructions.
"Miss Lovegood? You mean Luna? Why's she in Harry's bed?"
Severus silently groaned as he realized Black still requested an audience with him. He gestured towards the dungeons in an invitation to follow along to his office.
"I believe her reasoning is that Potter's bed is warmer than hers, and Potter states that she is not there as he hides her beneath his cloak most mornings," Severus said drily.
"Thats... that's weird, right?"
"Not to Potter," Severus said as they entered his office. "Though I doubt you wished to speak with me about Potter's sleep habits."
"I didn't." Black pulled himself up straight and looked evenly at Severus. "I wanted to say that I... I appreciate you looking out for Harry these past couple years. But now-"
"No," Severus interrupted him. "Absolutely not."
"You didn't let me finish," Black said. "I'm his godfather-"
"I'm his guardian," Severus interrupted again. "No."
"You don't even like kids," Black accused.
Severus lifted a brow at Black in an attempt to be as passively irritating as possible.
"Potter is hardly a child, and I happen to be rather fond of him."
"He's not a toy Snape," Black snapped. "He's just a kid who needs someone that's more than 'rather fond' of him."
"I am extremely fond of him," Severus drawled. "And I have no intention of rescinding my guardianship to you."
"What if Harry wants you to?"
Severus faltered for a second as he considered it.
"Do you even have a job? A way to support him? Proper living arrangements for a teenager?" Severus asked.
"I've had a couple job offers," Black said rather evasively. "I'm not in a rush though."
Severus snorted as he recalled the vast wealth that Black inherited. The man likely had no need to work a day in his life.
"And I'm thinking about buying a house in the south end of London. Went and checked it out yesterday, it's a nice place. There's four bedrooms, so there's plenty of room for Harry."
"And the wolf?"
Black crossed his arms across his chest and glared at Severus.
"Won't be there if Harry doesn't want him there at first," he said stubbornly. "I already talked to Moony about it, he understands."
"Touching," Severus sneered. Though the logical part of his mind, the part that was not worried he was about to lose his ward, could admit that it was considerate of Black to choose Potter's comfort over shacking up with his lover. "Potter hardly knows you," he pointed out instead.
"How well does he know you?" Black challenged him.
"There are no secrets between us," Severus said proudly. "Potter knows all there is to know about me."
Black seemed momentarily surprised by his confident answer before he slumped in to a more relaxed pose.
"Listen, I know you've been good for him," he said. "And I know Harry trusts you more than anyone. But it was supposed to be me. And I want to fix that. I want to be in his life Snape."
Severus cursed at Black's tone. Was this show of genuine emotions not proof that Black would be helpful to Potter?
No, he scolded himself. Black is drawn in by the idea of Potter. He has no idea what raising him entails.
"I am not preventing you from being in his life," Severus said. "I believe there is nothing stopping you from being his godfather."
Black leaned closer to Severus, as if judging his worth as a guardian visually. Severus held himself still as he was being intently stared at.
"I know Harry likes you, but I thought you'd be happy at a chance to pass him off," Black said slowly. "He talked about you a lot. You... you care about him, don't you?"
"Of course I care about him," Severus scoffed. "Did you mistakenly believe I was forced in to accepting guardianship? Potter requested me and I accepted."
"I could be good for Harry," Black said as he straightened himself back up, though dropping the defensive stance he had previously held. "I think we're a lot alike."
'The Black Madness, it is rather hereditary.'
"I am certain you are," Severus agreed. "Though Potter trusts me. And it was trust hard earned and easily lost. I will not throw it away by making him believe I am willing to sign him over like a used broomstick."
"What if he wants to live with me?" Black asked again. "What then?"
"Then I will respect his wishes," Severus said as casually as he could, despite the cold sliver of fear that became lodged in his chest. "Potter is thirteen, and more mature than most adults-" he gave a pointed look at Black "-and if he no longer wishes to reside with me then I shall respect it."
"Yeah?" Black said. "You wouldn't be an arse to him about it? Because I think no matter what Harry would still want you in his life."
"I have no need for coddling," Severus said coolly. "I am aware of the relationship I have with Potter."
"Alright." Black nodded his head slowly. "Don't say anything about it to him just yet, please? I want to talk to him about it myself."
Severus jerked his chin in a semblance of a nod.
"Thanks Snape," Black said cordially. "And I meant what I said- I think you've done a good job with Harry. Merlin knows the kid isn't easy, is he?"
"You said what you came to say, go," Severus said.
Black bobbed his head in Severus' direction and quickly left, probably to go find the wolf.
Severus hardly made it to his quarters before the exhaustion sunk in to his body and he slumped down on his sofa.
Severus summoned himself a drink and stared in to the fireplace as he contemplated the likelihood of Potter choosing to reside with Black over himself.
The more he drank, the more likely it became. And the more likely it became, the more he drank.
It was a vicious cycle that ended with Severus passing out on his sofa and waking up with a hollow ache in his chest and a crick in his neck.
***
Dearest Severus,
I would be delighted to help you in any way for my dearest Meraviglía.
Let me know rapidamente the medication you will be needing for my beloved and I will send my assistant out to acquire it.
Much love my dearest,
- Juliana Zabini
***
"Potter! Are you even paying attention?"
Severus' call in Potions class caused Potter to snap his head up from the notepad he had been frantically scribbling in and gave him a wide eyed look.
"Course I am sir," he said. "Writing down what you said, aren't I?"
Severus huffed as Potter's tone bordered the line of disrespect in front of his class and returned to his lecture. He reminded himself that Potter was hardly the only student behaving distractedly.
It happened every February. As the fourteenth approached and the students got older they got more and more distracted from their studies in favor of insipidly giggling in the halls and blushing at their classmates. They were a week away from the busiest Hogsmeade weekend of the year and Potter, along with all of his classmates, had become increasingly more excitable as of late.
After he dismissed his class he watched as Potter sprang up and bounced out in to the hall, talking animatedly with Ronald and Theodore. Severus made an honest attempt at ignoring the fact that he likely only had one week left until Black approached Potter about the guardianship and he lost his ward altogether.
As a suitable distraction, Severus threw himself in to his research project. They had discovered a way to combine the transfigurational potions base with the medicinal one, making it adaptive to the venom without compromising a muggles ability to consume it, and were now working on a spell to instruct the venom to target only the cancerous cells within a body.
The difficult part of this stage in the research was discovering ways to test the charms. Under no circumstances would Severus attempt to test it on a human, which left him to scavenge the castle for mice. He thought he had gotten it right one evening, after spelling the disease sample Ramsey sent him in to the mouse then injecting the potion, and was dismayed to see the mouse had passed quietly that night.
"God damnit," he swore upon seeing the mouses still body. He was too tired, and swamped with papers that needed grading, to attempt another mixture tonight, but as the students were all in bed it would be the ideal time to go find another couple of mice to test his next free afternoon.
Severus quietly left the to go search near the kitchen for stray mice, as they seemed to favor the warm corridor in the colder months. He had nearly caught one when he was interrupted by Argus Filch jumping out at him-
"AHA!" he cried, shoving a lantern in Severus' face.
"What is this meaning of this?" Severus hissed in frustration, both by the mouse he had painstakingly stalked scurrying away and from having a lantern shoved unceremoniously in his face.
"Oh, Professor Snape, sorry," the man said quickly. "Thought you were a student out of bed."
"And why would you think that?" Severus asked as he kept a close eye on the corridor in case any additional mice stuck a single whisker out of the cracks they enjoyed hiding in.
"Mrs Norris heard someone up in the owlery," Filch said in his oily voice. "I guess that was you then?"
"It was not," Severus said. The owlery would in fact be the last place he would search for mice as the owls typically snatched them as meals once they roamed too closely to their home. He sighed as he acknowledged his own duty, "Though I will go investigate."
"Very good sir," Filch gave him some sort of twitchy half bow. Severus truly had no idea how the man had decided they were on friendly terms, especially as he had threatened Severus' ward last year, but the respect was appreciated nonetheless.
Severus quietly made his way to the owlery, cursing himself for even leaving his quarters this evening. As he walked swiftly he decided that whichever students had the misfortune to find themselves out of bed at this hour would simply have to bear the brunt of his displeasure.
He could hear the ridiculous student talking clear from the bottom of the staircase, they were hardly even attempting to keep their presence a secret.
He threw the door open, "And what do you think you are- Potter?!"
Potter stood beside the open window and jumped at his entrance.
"What're you doing here?" Potter said as he hid something behind his back quickly.
"Harry it is nearly midnight, what are you doing out of your dorm this late?"
Potter didn't appear to be in distress. He was rather bright eyed and relaxed despite his flickering eyes and the way he continued to angle his body away from Severus as he stepped closer to the child.
"Couldn't sleep so thought I'd come check on Sevvie," Potter said evasively.
"And what is behind your back?"
"Nothin'," Potter lied as he shifted himself further away from Severus. "Were you trying to find more mice? Cause I can help you tomorrow if you want."
Severus ignored Potters blatant attempt at changing the subject and stared down at him instead.
"What is behind your back?" he said slowly.
"I swear I don't have anything," Potter insisted. "Can we just forget it? Let's go find some mice, yeah?"
Severus hated to do this, truly he did, but he made a quick motion towards Potter. Potter, predictably, tripped backwards as he flinched away from Severus and stuck his arms out to catch himself.
"What the fuck have you done?" Severus said, horrified as he saw the arm Potter had attempted to hide from him. His entire right arm looked to be covered in feathers. Not covered, but as if the feathers were growing out of his skin in some form of a grotesque transfiguration.
"You're gonna be mad," Potter said as he rightened himself and had the audacity to smile up at him.
"Inform me at once what has happened here."
"I'm trying to be an owl," Potter said baldly.
Severus blinked at him until the words registered in his mind.
"You... are trying to be an owl?" he said.
"Yep," Potter grinned again. "It's a brilliant idea I had last night."
Severus looked down again at Potter's arm and shuddered at the amount of work it would likely take to undo that amount of botched transfiguration.
"Explain it to me as I escort you to my office," Severus said.
"Okay listen-" Potter bounced along side Severus as he talked and Severus listened. "I wanna be an animagus but I don't wanna take any chances on what my form is. So I was laying in bed last night thinking about it and I figured that transfiguring myself in to an owl is a much better idea then gambling on being an owl through my animagus form, right? So I was trying to imagine Sevvie's feathers and I couldn't get it right so I went up to the owlery and- hey, what's wrong?"
Severus had stopped midstride in the corridor once he realized what was happening.
This was the 'I'm transfiguring my eyes fifty feet in the air with no supervision' manic episode all over again.
Son of a bitch.
"When is the last time you slept?" he asked Potter as he attempted to casually walk alongside him again.
"Few days," Potter waved his feathered hand. "But I thought you wanted to hear about becoming an owl?"
"You understand of course that you would never be able to transform yourself in to an actual owl, yes?"
"Nooo," Potter said, drawling the word out slowly. "Because I had a plan. And it's a good plan if you'd just listen."
"Continue."
"So anyway I needed to go to the owlery and find Sevvie. And I kept thinking 'be an owl, be an owl' but nothing worked, ya know? So I thought maybe it would be easier if I did it a part at a time. So I was working on the wings, which is what this is-" Potter waved his arm around again and laughed. "-but it just made feathers and didn't change the shape of my arm yet."
Severus listened halfheartedly as Potter rapidly spoke about his incredibly dangerous attempts at human transfiguration while they walked.
"Did you have no concern for being caught out of bed after hours?" Severus cut in at one point as the child was horrifyingly describing his attempt at creating claws from his feet.
"I had my cloak," Potter said with a careless shrug. "And I was real quiet when Filch came up. So no, guess I wasn't real concerned."
Severus wanted to either bash Potter's head in the wall, or his own.
"Come in and let me attempt to fix this mess," Severus said as they approached his office.
"Fix it?" Potter cried as he followed him in. "D'you know how long it took me to do this?? You can't take it back now! Did you even hear my plan?"
"I did," Severus said evenly as he pulled out the required potions and prayed that they were enough. "And I cannot allow you to have a partially transfigured arm. Harry you are a person, not an owl."
"But I could be!" Potters eyes were disturbingly bright as he carried on. "We're magic sir! We can do anything we want! You're curing cancer! Broomsticks can fly! Black turns in to a dog, why shouldn't I turn in to an owl?"
"Because it is not possible," Severus said harshly as he slammed the potions on to his desk. "It is not possible and it is insanity to even try."
"It's not insanity," Potter laughed. "You're just jealous! You're jealous because I'm gonna figure it out and you didn't even think about it!"
"Catch." Severus threw an empty vial towards Potter who reached for it instinctively with his right hand and stared as the vial slipped through his feather covered hand.
"That won't matter because once I'm an owl it'll be easy to turn back human and then I can switch whenever I want," Potter said confidently.
"And if you are unable to figure it out before your next quidditch match?" Severus asked.
Potter hesitated and held his hand out in front of him.
"I... I don't think I can catch the snitch like this," he chuckled nervously. "Maybe I should have started with the left arm, do you think?"
"I do not." Severus offered him the first of three potions and felt no small amount of relief as Potter toasted it to him before downing it quickly.
"That's disgusting," Potter said cheerfully. "What was it?"
"A transfiguration reversal potion of my own creation," Severus murmured as he watched Potters arm. Thankfully the feathers began falling out almost immediately.
"Fuck. That hurts don't it?"
"Good," Severus muttered as he handed Potter the next potion. "Perhaps you will think twice before attempting this again."
"Don't be mad okay? But after our last match I'm definitely trying again," Potter said before downing the anti inflammatory. "I know I'm right Snape, I can feel it. I did a ton of research, well I tried anyway. But there's really no research on it. So I'm keeping notes so I can create research for other people to follow. Brilliant, right?"
Potter smiled broadly at him and Severus prayed to Merlin that his next maneuver would be successful.
"What research notes are you making?" he asked casually as he handed Potter the third potion he had pulled from his cabinet.
Potter threw the potion back and began rambling again.
"Well first I wrote down why I had the idea and where it came from, so people know, ya know? Then I started writing down my ideas for how it would-"
Severus moved swiftly to catch Potter before he struck his head on the stone floor as the child fell over in a dead sleep. He cast a feather light charm on the child, the irony not being lost on him, and carried him to his quarters after pocketing the extra strength dreamless sleep vial that Potter dropped as he passed out.
He deposited Potter on the sofa and summoned a blanket. He plucked his glasses off his face and stood there watching him sleep for a few moments.
"Foolish brat," Severus said softly as he smoothed Potter's tangled locks of hair off his face. He pulled his recliner closer to the sofa and set a ward to alert him when Potter awoke before summoning his parchment and quill.
'La folie circulaire'. Circular madness.
It seemed as if Potter had worked himself back around to a manic cycle in his madness. Severus could only hope it ended quicker than his most recent depressive episode did.
***
Contessa Juliana Zabini,
I have dove quite deep in to the research available on the medication for Harry's illness and I believe the most effective treatment the French have found at this time is called 'Lithium'.
If you were able to procure a supply of this, preferably in 500 milligram dosages, I would be eternally grateful and can of course repay you any cost it may incur.
Kindly,
Severus T. Snape