The king wanted a lord dead by morning. I wanted breakfast.The king wanted a lord dead by morning. I wanted breakfast.
These were not conflicting desires.These were not conflicting desires.
I wiped the blood from my dagger, third wipe and still red, and slipped through the palace window I'd left unlatched. My bed was cold. I wiped the blood from my dagger, third wipe and still red, and slipped through the palace window I'd left unlatched. My bed was cold.
My hands were colder. In four hours, I would wake as Queen Seraphina, smiling and soft and utterly harmless.My hands were colder. In four hours, I would wake as Queen Seraphina, smiling and soft and utterly harmless.
No one would know I'd killed a man.No one would know I'd killed a man.
No one ever knew.No one ever knew.
I was very good at being two people.I was very good at being two people.
The lord had begged. They always begged at the end. I did not enjoy it, but I did not stop it either. The king's enemies had to die. That was the bargain. My life for their deaths. My crown for my blade.The lord had begged. They always begged at the end. I did not enjoy it, but I did not stop it either. The king's enemies had to die. That was the bargain. My life for their deaths. My crown for my blade.
I had been the Shadow for five years. I had been the queen for one.I had been the Shadow for five years. I had been the queen for one.
The water in my basin was ice when I washed my hands. I scrubbed under my nails, behind my knuckles, in the creases of my palms. The blood was stubborn. It always was.The water in my basin was ice when I washed my hands. I scrubbed under my nails, behind my knuckles, in the creases of my palms. The blood was stubborn. It always was.
I changed into my nightdress. White silk. Innocent. The kind of thing a young queen wore to bed, dreaming of her husband's touch.I changed into my nightdress. White silk. Innocent. The kind of thing a young queen wore to bed, dreaming of her husband's touch.
My husband did not touch me.My husband did not touch me.
King Aldric slept in the room next to mine. We had been married for one year, one month, and three days. He had spoken to me at breakfast, at dinner, at the required public appearances. He had never spoken to me in the dark. He had never knocked on the door that connected our rooms.King Aldric slept in the room next to mine. We had been married for one year, one month, and three days. He had spoken to me at breakfast, at dinner, at the required public appearances. He had never spoken to me in the dark. He had never knocked on the door that connected our rooms.
I did not know if I was grateful or insulted.I did not know if I was grateful or insulted.
I slid beneath my covers. Closed my eyes. Practiced my breathing. Slow. Steady. The breathing of a woman who had not just slid a blade between a man's ribs.I slid beneath my covers. Closed my eyes. Practiced my breathing. Slow. Steady. The breathing of a woman who had not just slid a blade between a man's ribs.
The sun rose at six.The sun rose at six.
My maid, Mira, woke me at seven with the curtains and the usual complaints about my cold hands.My maid, Mira, woke me at seven with the curtains and the usual complaints about my cold hands.
"My lady, you must keep the fire burning," she said, tugging a brush through my hair."My lady, you must keep the fire burning," she said, tugging a brush through my hair.
"The king will think you unwell.""The king will think you unwell."
"The king does not think of me at all," I said."The king does not think of me at all," I said.
Mira's brush paused. She was the only person in the palace who knew I was not the fragile thing I pretended to be. She did not know why. But she knew enough to be careful with me.Mira's brush paused. She was the only person in the palace who knew I was not the fragile thing I pretended to be. She did not know why. But she knew enough to be careful with me.
"His Majesty asked after you," she said "His Majesty asked after you," she said
carefully. "At the council meeting yesterday. carefully. "At the council meeting yesterday.
He wondered if you were happy."He wondered if you were happy."
I met her eyes in the mirror. "And what did you say?"I met her eyes in the mirror. "And what did you say?"
"I said you were content, my lady.""I said you were content, my lady."
Content. Not happy. Not unhappy. The perfect lie for a perfect queen.Content. Not happy. Not unhappy. The perfect lie for a perfect queen.
I dressed in blue. The color of loyalty, of calm, of a woman with nothing to hide. Mira pinned my hair with pearls. I practiced my smile in the mirror. Soft. Sweet. Slightly stupid.I dressed in blue. The color of loyalty, of calm, of a woman with nothing to hide. Mira pinned my hair with pearls. I practiced my smile in the mirror. Soft. Sweet. Slightly stupid.
The Shadow did not smile. The Shadow did not need to smile.The Shadow did not smile. The Shadow did not need to smile.
Breakfast was served in the small dining room. Aldric was already there, reading a letter. He looked up when I entered, and for a moment, just a moment, his eyes were sharp. Assessing.Breakfast was served in the small dining room. Aldric was already there, reading a letter. He looked up when I entered, and for a moment, just a moment, his eyes were sharp. Assessing.
Then the mask slid back into place. "Good morning, my queen."Then the mask slid back into place. "Good morning, my queen."
"Good morning, my king.""Good morning, my king."
We sat. We ate. The silence between us was familiar now, a kind of third presence at the table. I buttered my toast. He read his letter.We sat. We ate. The silence between us was familiar now, a kind of third presence at the table. I buttered my toast. He read his letter.
The fire crackled. The fire crackled.
I was reaching for the jam when I saw it.I was reaching for the jam when I saw it.
A folder. Black leather. The king's personal seal pressed into the wax.A folder. Black leather. The king's personal seal pressed into the wax.
My next assignment.My next assignment.
My fingers trembled. I hid it by taking a bite of toast. Chewing. Swallowing. The king's assignments always came through my handler, never directly. Never at breakfast.My fingers trembled. I hid it by taking a bite of toast. Chewing. Swallowing. The king's assignments always came through my handler, never directly. Never at breakfast.
Unless it was urgent.Unless it was urgent.
Unless it was important.Unless it was important.
Unless the king did not trust my handler anymore.Unless the king did not trust my handler anymore.
Aldric set down his letter. His eyes found the folder, then found me. "A gift," he said. "From your father."Aldric set down his letter. His eyes found the folder, then found me. "A gift," he said. "From your father."
My father. The king who had taken me from the streets. Who had trained me. Who owned me.My father. The king who had taken me from the streets. Who had trained me. Who owned me.
"How kind," I said."How kind," I said.
I opened the folder while buttering a second piece of toast. Casual. Unconcerned. A queen bored by her stepfather's gifts.I opened the folder while buttering a second piece of toast. Casual. Unconcerned. A queen bored by her stepfather's gifts.
The face staring back was my husband's.The face staring back was my husband's.
I dropped the knife.I dropped the knife.
It clattered against the plate, loud in the quiet room. Aldric looked up. His eyes were dark, unreadable.It clattered against the plate, loud in the quiet room. Aldric looked up. His eyes were dark, unreadable.
"Clumsy," I said."Clumsy," I said.
"Indeed," he said."Indeed," he said.
I picked up the knife. My hands were steady. I picked up the knife. My hands were steady.
They had to be. The Shadow did not tremble. The Shadow did not drop things.They had to be. The Shadow did not tremble. The Shadow did not drop things.
But I was not the Shadow now. I was Seraphina. Soft. Sweet. Slightly stupid.But I was not the Shadow now. I was Seraphina. Soft. Sweet. Slightly stupid.
I glanced at the folder again, hoping I had imagined it. Hoping it was a trick of the light.I glanced at the folder again, hoping I had imagined it. Hoping it was a trick of the light.
It was notIt was not
King Aldric. My husband. My target.King Aldric. My husband. My target.
Thirty days.Thirty days.
The note at the bottom was in the king's hand. Clean. Discreet. No witnesses.The note at the bottom was in the king's hand. Clean. Discreet. No witnesses.
I closed the folder. Smiled at my husband. "A portrait," I said. "Of my mother. How thoughtful."I closed the folder. Smiled at my husband. "A portrait," I said. "Of my mother. How thoughtful."
Aldric watched me. He always watched me, I realized. I had thought he was indifferent. I had thought he was cold.Aldric watched me. He always watched me, I realized. I had thought he was indifferent. I had thought he was cold.
Now I wondered if he was simply careful.Now I wondered if he was simply careful.
"You have a spot of jam," he said, "on your lip.""You have a spot of jam," he said, "on your lip."
I wiped it away. My heart was hammering. Thirty days. I had thirty days to kill the man across the table from me.I wiped it away. My heart was hammering. Thirty days. I had thirty days to kill the man across the table from me.
The man who had never touched me.The man who had never touched me.
The man who was watching me now like he knew something.The man who was watching me now like he knew something.
"Thank you," I said."Thank you," I said.
"For what?""For what?"
"For noticing.""For noticing."
His smile was small. Rare. It did not reach his eyes. "I notice everything, my queen. It is a habit of mine."His smile was small. Rare. It did not reach his eyes. "I notice everything, my queen. It is a habit of mine."
He returned to his letter. I returned to my toast.He returned to his letter. I returned to my toast.
But I did not taste it.But I did not taste it.
I was thinking of the lord I had killed last night. The way he had begged. The way the blood had felt, warm and sticky on my hands.I was thinking of the lord I had killed last night. The way he had begged. The way the blood had felt, warm and sticky on my hands.
I was thinking of Aldric's blood. What it would feel like.I was thinking of Aldric's blood. What it would feel like.
I was thinking that I had never wondered, in all our year of marriage, what my husband dreamed about at night.I was thinking that I had never wondered, in all our year of marriage, what my husband dreamed about at night.
Now I would never know.Now I would never know.
Because in thirty days, he would be dead.Because in thirty days, he would be dead.
Unless I found a way to disobey the king.Unless I found a way to disobey the king.
Unless I found a way to save us both.Unless I found a way to save us both.
I smiled at my husband across the breakfast table, and I wondered if he could see the killer behind my eyes.