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[The Book of Jin and the Records of the Three Kingdoms are basically polar opposites.
When Chen Shou wrote the Records of the Three Kingdoms, he treated every single word like it was costing him rent money. He kept things as short as humanly possible, and if writing something down might annoy the people in power, he just conveniently forgot to mention it.
The Book of Jin, though? That thing operates on an 'all-you-can-eat' buffet philosophy. If it exists, it goes in. The entire work practically carries a heavy scent of high-fantasy magic.
Take Sima Yan's biography. There's a line that says: "Order the commanderies to nominate men strong enough to lift fifteen hundred catties or more."
Fifteen hundred catties converts to about three hundred thirty four kilograms in modern terms.
Just for reference, the current Olympic weightlifting world record is two hundred sixty four kilograms. So yeah, the Jin dynasty was populated by literal Avengers
Then there's Liu Yao. The text describes him as "fierce and martial beyond normal men, able to pierce iron one inch thick with a single arrow."
That means shooting clean through a three centimeter steel plate. This guy was basically a Gundam before Gundam concepts exist. The kind of monster that would make Lu Bu look at his own resume and quietly walk away in shame.
And then right after showing off this godlike archery skill, he gets drunk during a siege, falls off his horse by complete accident, and gets captured. It's a tragic waste of stats.
Then we have Gou Xi. He supposedly "acquired a thousand li ox, and whenever he sent a messenger, they would leave at dawn and return by evening."
A thousand li horse is legendary but within the realm of fantasy, we all accept. A thousand li ox? That's just someone having a very overactive imagination during office hours, and what exactly was he feeding this thing?
Also Murong Chui. When he raised his army in the Guanzhong region, the record claims he "gathered a force of over two hundred thousand."
At that point in history, Guanzhong had been so thoroughly ravaged by war and famine that even if you counted every single living soul in the region, man, woman, child, and the family dog, scraping together two hundred thousand would have been a logistical impossibility.
And then there is the absolutely divine Sima Yi. The text says: "In the fourth year... he joined Cao Zhen in attacking Shu. The Emperor personally cut a road through the mountains from Xicheng... all the way to Quren..."
Starting from Hanzhong and just carving a path straight through to eastern Chongqing. The only reasonable explanation here is that Moses parted the Red Sea and Sima Yi parted the Qinling mountain range.
Then we have the story of Ma Long. "He piled magnetic stones along both sides of the path. The enemy troops, wearing iron armor, found themselves unable to move forward. Ma Long's soldiers, all wearing rhino hide armor, passed through without any trouble."
The corridor was lined with magnets. The enemy soldiers in their iron suits got stuck like a bunch of giant paperclips. Ma Long and his guys strolled through in non magnetic rhino leather and slaughtered everyone.
It is honestly beautiful writing if you just completely ignore how physics actually works.]
Divine Sima Yi? What kind of nonsense was that?
Kongming felt his face go stiff. This was the enemy he was supposed to face in the future? A man who could apparently just delete mountains whenever he felt like it?
Zhang Fei was still squinting hard at the map, trying to figure out where exactly Quren was located. Guan Yu, meanwhile, was already shaking his head with a tired sigh.
"If this Sima Yi could actually move troops like that," Guan Yu said flatly, "why even bother with the mountain path theatrics? Why not just march straight into Chengdu and grab that kid Adou off his throne?"
Guan Yu knew that map like it was the back of his hand. Quren was a city they had only just captured a month ago. The space between Quren and Hanzhong was nothing but endless unforgiving mountains. He could not help adding one more line.
"If there really is a clear route from Quren to Hanzhong, then tomorrow I will personally lead a strike force straight into enemy territory."
Everyone just took it as a dry joke.
Liu Bei was fighting back a laugh that kept threatening to escape. "So this Tang dynasty, the one ruled by an Emperor praised through the ages... they wrote their history like... like..."
Liu Bei stumbled over his words for a moment, searching for something that would not sound like a direct insult to a future Emperor. He failed completely and just shook his head with a helpless smile.
...
The Emperor praised through the ages was not having a good time at all.
Just earlier he had been watching Ma Su and silently laughing at the guy's complete lack of strategic sense. Now, in the span of a few breaths, the light screen had turned around and started roasting his own dynasty for having no standards in historical record keeping.
Li Shimin did not even bother looking at Fang Xuanling. He just spoke evenly.
"Since this historical record will be read by all future generations, we might as well put some actual effort into it. It would help show off our Great Tang's cultural achievements properly."
He watched Fang Xuanling and Du Ruhui nod in agreement. Only then did a bit of satisfaction appear on his face.
Right. Every single thing had to meet the standard of an Emperor praised through the ages.
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[And beyond the bad physics, there's a universal magic system in the Book of Jin: The Tears of the Filial Son.
Sheng Yan's mother went blind from illness. Sheng Yan cried and wailed so intensely that his mother's eyesight just magically came back.
Wang Pou lost his mother and would often hug the cypress tree by her grave while weeping. His grief was so powerful that the tree itself dried up and died.
Yan Han was raised by his sister in law. When she went blind from sickness, Yan Han cried nonstop. One day a blue bird flew down, transformed into a human, and handed over a miracle medicine that cured her instantly.
Liu Yin's mother wanted shepherd's purse in the middle of winter. Liu Yin could not find any and collapsed in a field crying. His tears hit the frozen ground and shepherd's purse sprouted right there. He brought it home and no matter how much they ate, the supply never ran out.
Wang Yan's mother wanted fish in winter. Wang Yan could not find any and broke down crying by the river. A fish apparently got tired of listening to him and jumped out of the water onto the shore. He took it home and that fish just kept regenerating.
I will not go through the rest of the list. Just check the Anomalies chapter of the Book of Jin. It is basically an entire supernatural novel.
Dead ox heads having human conversations. Stone dogs that bite people. A giant chunk of meat the size of three basketball courts falling from the sky.
Stones raining down and then fighting each other until they bleed. A farmer's stone mortar and stone roller suddenly coming alive and chasing each other around the yard.
Honestly if you want supernatural stories, read this instead of In Search of the Supernatural. It is way more entertaining.
Although amusingly, the Book of Jin itself records that Gan Bao, the guy who wrote In Search of the Supernatural, was inspired after his father's concubine and his own brother both died and then came back to life.
So with all that said... does anyone actually remember that the Book of Jin is supposed to be an official history?]
Du Ruhui felt like taking notes on this section was completely pointless. What was he supposed to write? Reminder, do not include talking cows in the official record.
Li Shimin turned his gentle gaze upon Fang Xuanling.
"These supernatural tales," Li Shimin said smoothly, "should probably be pulled out and put into a separate book altogether."
Fang Xuanling shot a slightly wronged look at the light screen. Was this thing not supposedly recorded in In Search of the Supernatural itself? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. But he could only bow his head and agree.
Li Jing found the whole thing baffling and kind of offensive.
"If magic and divine intervention actually worked," he said bluntly, "why have we spent years sending soldiers to bleed and die in battle?"
"Strange forces and chaos spirits. They all need to be crushed. None of this should go into official history just to make future generations laugh at us."
Li Shimin nodded firmly. That was basic common sense.
As for the light screen? That was different. Based on everything so far, it seemed to be some kind of future technology. At the very least, it had never once asked for any sacrifices or worship.
...
Over in the small side hall at Gong'an County, the mood was a lot more relaxed.
This was not their problem. And sure, the Great Han governed through filial piety, but these guys were not idiots.
Zhang Fei clicked his tongue with a look of genuine regret.
"If stuff like that actually worked," he said wistfully, "who would need supply lines?"
He pictured it clearly. A basket of vegetables that never ran out. A fish that fed an army forever. Get enough of those and you could feed a hundred thousand men without a single supply cart.
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[As one of the biggest jokes entries in the Twenty Four Histories, the Book of Jin may lack rigor but it does have its good points.
The Tang dynasty did not claim legitimacy from the Jin dynasty. So the historians approached it with a genuinely neutral attitude. No need to suck up. No need to trash them either.
One source says Sima Yi captured and killed ten thousand and only retreated after beating Zhuge Liang? Fine. Write it down.
Another source says the dead Zhuge scared the living Sima Yi into running away? Fine. Write that down too.
What is that? Do we need to avoid using Emperor Xuan of Jin's personal name out of respect?
The Tang officials collectively responded with a big fat whatever. After all, compared to their own Li Erfeng, what was a Sima Yi?
The Tang compilation of Jin history basically worked like this. The guys doing the actual writing were just regular office workers. You get the effort you pay for. They picked and chose. They cut and pasted. As long as the final product checked the minimum boxes, they clocked out.
So why was Fang Xuanling so lazy about supervising the whole thing?
Some people say it was because his close friend Du Ruhui died and Fang Xuanling just stopped caring. That is obviously nonsense.
Du Ruhui died of a sudden illness in the fourth year of Zhenguan. The official work on the Book of Jin did not even start until the twentieth year of Zhenguan. By then Du Ruhui's own son had already been dead for three years, executed for joining a rebellion.
A much more likely explanation ties directly back to Erfeng himself.]
The news hit the hall like a physical blow. It was so shocking that Li Shimin temporarily decided to ignore the light screen still refusing to use his proper name.
Du Ruhui stood frozen in place.
This was the second year of Zhenguan... no, wait. It was now the second day of the new year.
This was the third year of Zhenguan. Next year... next year was when he was supposed to die?
Du Ruhui's face twisted into something between a smile and a sob. "Your Majesty. My worthless son. The crime of plotting rebellion deserves no mercy. Death is the only punishment."
Li Shimin grabbed Du Ruhui by the shoulder and patted his back firmly.
"Keming. Right now your health is the priority. Nothing else matters."
"Du He has committed no crime." Li Shimin's voice was absolute. Fifteen years was a long time. More than enough time to change a boy's entire future.
"Now that we know, we can prevent it. This will not happen."
Li Shimin's mind was already racing ahead. The Martial Temple thing was not even a thing in the Zhenguan era. The timeline was clearly flexible. But one thing was now locked in. Whoever caused that An Lushan Rebellion was going to die.
Also... someone actually dared to plot rebellion while he was still alive and ruling?
The light screen's wording was precise. It said Keming's son was a participant. Not the mastermind. That meant a larger conspiracy. And he, the Emperor, was apparently still very much alive deep into his reign.
A cold thrill of excitement ran through Li Shimin. Enemies outside. Traitors inside. And he still managed to become the Emperor praised through the ages?
That was right. Because he was him.
But right now the real crisis was Du Ruhui's failing health. This hit Li Shimin harder than any talk of rebellions or legacies. His mind spun. Why Du Ruhui? The minister he relied on more than anyone else.
He glanced sideways at Zhangsun Wuji, who was standing nearby with his head down saying absolutely nothing. Li Shimin took a slow breath and gave his order.
"Keming. After today you rest. Properly. Completely. Do not run yourself into the ground like Zhuge Wuhou did."
...
Somewhere else, Kongming sneezed.
He smiled reassuringly at Huang Yueying, whose brow had immediately furrowed with worry.
"This Tang dynasty's history writing is certainly... interesting," he said lightly.
But in the back of his mind a more troubling thought lingered. An Emperor facing rebellion seventeen years into his reign. Kongming could not help thinking back to a familiar figure from his own time. Emperor Wu of Han.
[Lightscreen]
[As for the idea that the Book of Jin's sloppy quality is tied to Erfeng himself, the logic goes like this.
Erfeng famously said that using history as a mirror lets you understand why dynasties rise and fall. The Book of Jin was meant to be a political textbook for the Crown Prince.
The project officially started in the twentieth year of Zhenguan. By the twenty second year, Erfeng's health was clearly going downhill. That same year he personally wrote the Di Fan to teach his heir how to rule.
So the thinking was probably just, The Book of Jin is a mess? Fine. Whatever. Get it done. We need something for the kid to read.
Then in the twenty third year of Zhenguan, after a long illness, Erfeng died at Cuiwei Palace.
Theories about his cause of death are all over the place. The Old Book of Tang says he had a chronic illness, tried to cure it with alchemy pills, and those pills ended up killing him.
Modern medical analysis looking at the recorded symptoms leans toward heart failure combined with a brain hemorrhage. The histories repeatedly note Erfeng struggling with physical exertion, especially climbing to high places. That points to heart and lung problems.
But dying at fifty one is definitely an early death. A more likely explanation is that his end was similar to the Chancellor's. Too much overwork in his younger days that wrecked his body's foundation. Then when he got older, minor illnesses turned into major ones.
Oh and there is also that most ridiculous theory. The claim that during the nineteenth year of Zhenguan, while campaigning against Goguryeo, Erfeng got hit by a poisoned arrow.
The Koreans are extremely invested in this particular piece of fan fiction. It has even evolved into the truly absurd version where the arrow supposedly took out Erfeng's eye and turned him into a one eyed dragon.]
A silence like death fell over Ganlu Palace.
Zhangsun Wuji was the first to move. He threw himself at Li Shimin's feet, voice cracking with dramatic anguish. "Your Majesty, for the sake of the Great Tang, please take care of your health!"
Li Shimin was surprisingly calm. He looked at the light screen and spoke evenly.
"I have always had problems with dampness and rheumatism. And in my youth I campaigned across the realm constantly. My body took plenty of damage."
"Fine. This year I will have a pavilion built. A place to rest and recover..."
But that calm shattered completely the moment the light screen showed an image.
A figure in strange foreign clothing. Drawing a bow. Taking aim. Releasing. The arrow flew straight into the eye socket of a man in a yellow imperial robe.
The image was surrounded by dense foreign text that made no sense.
And then the light screen helpfully added a label right next to the man with the arrow in his eye. The label read clearly.
Li Shimin. Emperor of the Great Tang.
"Foreign dogs. Shameless curs. You dare mock me like this."
"Spineless rats making up pathetic lies to fool yourselves."
"Slave nation. Brigand land. I swear I will destroy your country and erase your history from existence."
Li Shimin lost all control. With a furious roar he kicked out, sending Zhangsun Wuji tumbling away, and exploded into a storm of cursing.
Zhangsun Wuji, from his new spot on the floor, just stared in complete confusion. ???