"What do you mean? What do you mean?! Are you looking down on your brother?"
Kaeya, slacking off in the bathroom, was furious when he saw that Cao Zhong had sent Venti a red packet.
They were both brothers who ate, drank, and had fun together… so why did only Venti get a red packet?
Was Venti better at insulting people? Or better at flattering?
[Kaeya]: @Venti, where is your dignity? Your bottom line? You actually stood against the people for such a small red packet. Your conscience is rotten. Even the Anemo Archon won't protect you!
Venti: Uh… it's not that serious. The Anemo Archon is actually quite busy.
[Kaeya]: It is serious, very serious! Do you even know who Cao Zhong is? A top-tier scumbag! Standing with him means going against the people. There will be consequences!
[Cao Zhong]: @Kaeya, you still talking?
[Kaeya]: Hah—scumbag!
[Knight Guy]: Captain Kaeya is amazing!
[Knight Wood]: Captain Kaeya is strong!
[Knight Ott]: Captain Kaeya is both amazing and strong!
…
[Kaeya]: I appreciate everyone's praise. I, Kaeya—Cavalry Captain, Mondstadt intelligence officer, nemesis of evil! Tell me Cao Zhong's location, and within three minutes you'll hear BI-BO, BI-BO, BI-BO!
Sitting on the toilet, Kaeya felt extremely pleased reading everyone's praise.
So this is what it feels like to be flattered?
He loved it.
If he had known attacking Cao Zhong would bring so many benefits, he would have gone all out long ago.
Brotherhood? Friendship?
Kaeya lived by five rules: betrayal, selling out brothers, siding against them, framing them, and "taking care" of their partners.
When brothers are beaten, I run.
Brotherhood deeper than water—when trouble comes, I pretend not to hear.
When my brother is around, I call her sister-in-law. When he's gone, I call her darling.
True brotherhood means watching while your brother gets beaten.
Lifelong brothers!
Meanwhile, on the other side—
Cao Zhong, having escaped Jean's pursuit, saw Kaeya's proud messages and his face darkened.
"Kaeya… you really are my good brother."
[Chat]
[Cao Zhong]: @Kaeya, what benefit do you get from betraying your brother?
[Kaeya]: What nonsense is that? I simply cannot coexist with a scumbag!
[Cao Zhong]: So brave—dare to test your "flexibility"?
[Kaeya]: What a joke. You think I'm afraid? As I said—
[Ding! User Cao Zhong sent Kaeya an exclusive red packet!]
[Ding! User Kaeya withdrew a message and received the red packet!]
[Kaeya]: As I was saying, I, Kaeya, value brotherhood the most. Today, I'm backing Cao Zhong. Even the Anemo Archon can't take him away—I said it!
[Jean]: Then go die!
[Hu Tao]: @Kaeya, lol, you really have no dignity at all!
In Liyue, at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, Hu Tao lay on her bed, laughing uncontrollably at the chat.
Everyone in the group was talented and funny—she loved it.
Outside the window, Zhongli shook his head.
It's over… completely over.
The director has become internet-addicted.
…
[Kaeya]: Everyone, look! Someone actually expects me to give up Mora for dignity. Must be a rich person!
Venti: @Hu Tao, sis, sis, can you send me 10,000 Mora? I can do a cute voice!
[Cao Zhong]: @Hu Tao, sis, sis, can you send me 10,000 Mora? I can do a CEO voice!
[Hu Tao]: Get lost!
…
[Barbara]: Enough! That's enough! Stop ruining Mondstadt's image! The Anemo Archon will not forgive you!
As a devoted follower of Barbatos, Barbara's faith was almost blind.
She could even interpret a sneeze on the rooftop as divine guidance.
Seeing the three of them constantly tarnishing Mondstadt's reputation, she couldn't take it anymore.
Why aren't these three dead yet?!
[Kaeya]: Scary… let's change the topic.
[Cao Zhong]: @Kaeya, speaking of which, as Cavalry Captain—where's your horse? Why don't you have one?
[Kaeya]: You'd better be talking about an actual horse!!!
Venti: Same question.
[Mondstadt Resident A]: +1
[Mondstadt Resident B]: +2
…
[Mondstadt Resident X]: +10086
[Kaeya]: You people don't understand anything.
[Kaeya]: Even if I don't have a horse, I have weapons!
[Cao Zhong]: But what does that have to do with not having a horse?
[Kaeya]: You don't get it. In war, you can lack a fine horse—but you cannot lack weapons.
[Kaeya]: One sentence: A fine horse is useless without a weapon spirit.
[Cao Zhong]: Makes sense. Spread it—"A fine horse is useless without a weapon spirit."
Venti: A fine horse is useless without a weapon spirit.
…
[Mondstadt Resident A]: A fine horse is useless without a weapon spirit.
[Mondstadt Resident B]: A fine horse is useless without a weapon spirit.
…
[Mondstadt Resident X]: Got it—"A fine horse has no ice cream!" 😄