Ten thousand lanterns light the city on all sides; a river of stars runs through the water below.
Evening had come, and a gentle breeze swept across Cider Lake, carrying with it a heady, intoxicating fragrance that wrapped all of Mondstadt in a mood of celebration.
Tonight, Mondstadt would not sleep.
Every resident had poured out into the streets, making their way to Mondstadt Square — to raise a glass together for the heroes who had fought so bravely to defend their home.
Song and dance filled every corner. Everyone was here to mark this extraordinary chapter in their city's history.
"Drink up, drink up — I'm adding a little extra to every one of yours!"
Diona, Mondstadt's premier mixologist, had naturally been called upon for an occasion of this magnitude.
Unfortunately, their premier mixologist seemed rather less than thrilled about it.
For a girl whose life's ambition was to single-handedly destroy Mondstadt's entire wine industry, being asked to serve alcohol at a festival was nothing short of torture.
"Well, well — if it isn't our most adorable Miss Diona. Why is she sulking all by herself over here?"
A warm, impossibly charming voice drifted into Diona's ear from close behind her.
Diona's hackles went up instantly, like a cat that had been startled. She spun around and swung a clawed hand at the person behind her without a second thought.
Her wrist was caught effortlessly.
Diona was ready to let loose — but the moment she got a look at his face, every bit of irritation evaporated. In its place crept something dangerously close to delight.
Then she remembered. This man wore that same warm, easy manner with every woman he met.
Something sharp and sour settled in her chest.
"Let go of me."
She arranged her expression into something cold and unfriendly.
Cao Zhong paid absolutely no attention to that.
Instead, he reached up and began to gently play with one of Diona's fluffy ears.
"Mrrh~~"
The carefully maintained front of dignified aloofness collapsed immediately. Diona went soft all over, her whole body seeming to lose its edges.
A helpless blush crept up her cheeks.
"D-Don't… don't touch there!"
She made a valiant attempt to resist. It was, of course, no contest against Cao Zhong.
Watching Diona in this state, Cao Zhong finally understood — on a visceral level — what people who kept cats meant when they talked about the simple joy of scritching one behind the ears.
A creature this adorable? Not to indulge would be a crime.
"Sweetpea, pour your old dad another drink, would you?"
Draff ambled over with his empty glass, hoping to charm a refill out of his beloved daughter.
It was a festive night, after all. Surely she couldn't deny him a drink on a night like this.
What he saw brought the blood rushing straight to his head.
"CAO ZHONG — WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"
Without a moment's hesitation, he reached for his hunting knife.
Cao Zhong, who had been perfectly happily engaged in his cat-petting activities, snapped back to reality with a jolt.
There is no way I can explain this.
This is like mud falling into your trousers — whether it's what it looks like or not, it looks like what it looks like.
"Sir — if I told you this isn't what you think it is, would you believe me?"
Draff couldn't hear a single word Cao Zhong said.
"You absolute beast! I'll have you in pieces today!"
He came at Cao Zhong with the knife.
"Dad, it's not what you think — Cao Zhong didn't do anything!"
Diona threw herself in front of Draff, desperately trying to calm him down, while simultaneously gesturing urgently at Cao Zhong to get out of here — him standing there was only going to make things worse.
Draff stared at his daughter, utterly incredulous.
"He does THAT to you and you're DEFENDING him?!"
"Is he trying to get out of taking responsibility?! Today I will skin him alive!"
"N-No, Dad — he wants to take responsibility!"
Diona blurted out the first thing she could think of to shut him up.
"He WANTS to take responsibility?! What exactly did he DO to you?! I'm going to skin him alive RIGHT NOW!"
Draff was now twice as furious. If the boy hadn't done something, why would he need to take responsibility?
Diona stood there, genuinely at a loss.
Did I just make it worse?!
Meanwhile, not far away,
Venti, Kaeya, and Bennett had congregated around a table and were drinking steadily.
"Come to think of it — where's Cao Zhong tonight?"
Bennett glanced around. No sign of him anywhere.
Venti didn't seem particularly bothered. He took a contented sip of his apple cider, savored it with visible pleasure, then said, "Probably off somewhere making eyes at some girl. Why would he bother spending time with us?"
"Choosing women over his friends — I curse him to lose two centimetres where it matters," Kaeya muttered in agreement.
"Funny you say that, because they say talking behind someone's back is what makes you lose the two centimetres."
Cao Zhong emerged from behind them, casually picked up the nearest drink, and helped himself without asking.
Kaeya looked him over. Beads of sweat still visible on his face. Eyes slightly too innocent.
"You weren't out there bothering some poor girl and nearly getting caught by her family, were you?"
Bennett and Venti both swiveled to look at Cao Zhong.
Of course.
They'd been sitting here drinking like reasonable people while he was out there, doing that. Absolutely inexcusable.
"What's that supposed to mean?! Am I the sort of person who puts girls before his friends?"
The more he protested, the more convinced the others became that they had nailed it.
"Stop explaining. Just drink."
Cao Zhong eyed the alarming quantity of bottles Venti had somehow produced out of nowhere and swallowed.
Drinking through all of that might actually kill him.
"Actually, I think I may have left the gas on at the shop. I should really go check—"
He made a move for the exit.
Too slow. Kaeya had already seized his arm.
"Don't bother — the shop was on fire when I came past. Nothing left to worry about."
"You're not leaving until you've had a drink," Venti added helpfully.
And Bennett — sweet, simple Bennett — slowly drew his wooden sword.
"Look, I won't make it hard for you. You did save Mondstadt, after all. We'll drink — you can have the oolong tea."
Venti placed a cup in front of Cao Zhong with a generous smile.
Cao Zhong almost cried with relief. There are good people in this world after all.
"Venti — true brother. I will remember this for the rest of my life."
He drank deeply.
And then.
Swallowing against the burning that scorched all the way down, Cao Zhong calmly picked up a flame and held it to the cup.
It caught. Full, roaring flame.
"You're calling this oolong tea? This is PURE SPIRITS!!!"
Cao Zhong fixed Venti with a gaze that could kill.
"Ah, don't be upset — Venti didn't mean it! Here, rinse your mouth with some water!" Bennett pushed a cup of plain water toward Cao Zhong.
"Bennett. Of all of them, it's always you. You're the brother I carry in my heart."
Cao Zhong took a grateful sip without a second thought.
"You call this water?"
He held the flame to the cup.
It ignited.
He turned to stare at Bennett.
You too, Bennett. You absolute traitor.
[Hu Tao: Oh wow — I heard Mondstadt is having a festival! I want to go so badly!]
[Xiangling: A festival? There has to be food. I wonder if there's anything I've never tried before.]
[Xingqiu: @Cao Zhong @Kaeya @Venti — Where are you all? Come out and tell us if anything interesting is happening at the festival!]
[Cao Zhong: Does oolong tea that catches fire count? Does water that evaporates count?]
[Chongyun: I don't fully understand the context, but I'm pretty sure what you're describing is called alcohol.]
[Hu Tao: Speaking of which — you're all drinking, right? You're not going to do anything regrettable once you're drunk, are you? (curious)(curious)(curious)]
[Venti: What does that mean? I have never in my life been drunk.]
[Kaeya: Same. I've never said the word "drunk" once, not from childhood to now.]
[Cao Zhong: A thousand cups and still standing. Ten thousand cups and not a sway. Do you even know who you're talking to?]
[Ding — New video now playing.]
[Xingqiu: I'm dying — what did we say about making declarations in the group chat?!]
[Hu Tao: Oh goodie, there's going to be a show! Wonderful, wonderful!]
[Kamisato Ayaka: Wonderful!]
[Yae Miko: Wonderful!]
[Paimon: Wonderful!]
[Venti: Five Mora says Cao Zhong is in it.]
[Cao Zhong: One million Mora says it's me. I'm betting on myself.]
[Venti: Goodbye.]
[Cao Zhong: You absolute gremlin.]
...
In the video:
Empty bottles are piled high in every direction.
Kaeya and Bennett are sprawled across the ground at varying angles.
Only Venti and Cao Zhong remain upright — barely — propped against the table.
[Kaeya: Fake. Obviously fake. There is no world in which I lose to those two. This video is fabricated.]
[Bennett: Exactly! There's no way I'm weaker than Venti!]
[Venti: Excuse me? I've been drinking for thousands of years. I am not being outdrunk by a couple of youngsters.]
[Hu Tao: Ah, the pathetic pride of men and their inability to lose gracefully.]
In the video,
Venti, bleary and listing gently to one side, looked over at Cao Zhong, who was slumped forward on the table but not yet fully unconscious.
"My friend — I have a question, if you'll allow it."
Hic.
"Ask away. Between brothers, there's no such thing as a question you can't ask."
Cao Zhong, well past the point of sobriety, waved a magnanimous hand.
Venti, whose words had been getting progressively less precise, nevertheless brightened considerably at this.
"Cao Zhong — we've been brothers through thick and thin. How about tonight, just between us, you give me an honest analysis — among all the women of Mondstadt, who do you like most? Who's most likely to become your partner for life?"
[Hu Tao: YES!!!]
[Jean: Work is finished for the day. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to see what Mister Cao actually thinks about all this.]
[Amber: Well, if Captain Jean is watching, then I suppose I'll watch too.]
[Barbara: If you two are watching, I may as well watch as well, reluctantly.]
[Eula: Since everyone else is watching, it would be rude of me not to.]
[Xingqiu: Why does the chat feel like something's about to get bloody?]
[Yae Miko: This tension… suffocating, terrifying, and I am absolutely loving every second of it.]
[Cao Zhong: @Venti — I have done nothing to you. Why are you doing this to me?]
[Venti: ...]
[Draff: @Cao Zhong — You absolute wretch. You deserve everything coming to you.]
[Kaeya: Hisss — so Uncle Draff is involved in this too?]