When you hear the word "desire," what comes to mind?
Some people might think of the three fundamental human desires: appetite, sexual desire, and the desire for sleep. Others might recall Maslow's hierarchy of needs—self-actualization, or the need for recognition. And then… Well, perhaps those kinds of academic-sounding desires.
Or maybe you simply imagine the things you yourself want.
Wanting tickets to your favorite idol's concert. Wanting to become cooler or cuter. Wanting money, plain and simple.
As long as you're human, you inevitably want something. You harbor desires. There is no such thing as a person completely free of desire. At least, I've never met one. So I'm sure such a person doesn't exist.
And among all those people, I was the one drowning in desire at the very top of the class.
"I want money…"
Lying on a hard bed in a room on the third floor of an old apartment building a little ways from the city center, I stared blankly at the empty ceiling and let out the desire weighing on my chest.
Until last month, I had been working hard at my part-time job, but the store closed due to the current situation in the world, and my only source of extra money for hobbies had vanished.
My parents send me money every month, but that's strictly for living expenses. Even though I'm quite serious about these things, I don't use that money for my hobbies.
Well… I have used it a few times when there was a game I really wanted, but the number of times is small enough to count on both hands, so I essentially haven't wasted any living expenses.
Because of all that, this month I ended up buying four new volumes of a manga I really wanted, and after spending on eating out here and there, my remaining living expenses had dwindled down to just two thousand yen.
"I want a girlfriend…"
I'm a twenty-two-year-old virgin this year.
On the internet, they say that if you remain a virgin until a certain age, you'll become a wizard. I've never looked up exactly what that age is because I'm too scared. Besides, typing something like that into a search engine just feels too pathetic for me to do.
"I wonder if something fateful will happen…"
Three years ago, I—Takuma Takahashi—entered a certain university in Tokyo, the capital of Japan.
Even though it's a university in Tokyo, it's not the kind of prestigious school everyone imagines. It's just an ordinary university—not particularly good or bad, with average entrance exam scores.
Why did I choose such a university? Because I wanted to escape from my rural hometown in the middle of nowhere.
Wherever you looked, there were mountains. The area I lived in was so rural that the rice paddies were larger than the plots where houses stood. It wasn't even a town… it was basically a village.
After entering high school, I studied reasonably hard and managed to get into the university in Tokyo where I am now.
However, in the roughly three years since I enrolled, nothing particularly fateful had happened.
In my first year, I attended classes from morning till night just to earn credits. In my second year, thanks to the hard work I put in during the first year, I had a bit more free time, so I poured that time into my part-time job. And now in my third year, I had become the leader of the part-time staff at my job while also trying to complete the required credits I couldn't finish in the first two years.
Before I knew it, I was greeting the spring of my fourth year as a university student.
Of course, the spring where I would have a fateful encounter with a woman never came. There were no seasons in my life.
It wasn't just romantic encounters that were missing. During my time at university, I never started a business and suddenly became the president of a decent company who could pay off my student loans. Nor did any professor ever notice a report I submitted and recruit me for a major project. None of that ever happened.
In the three years since entering university, the person known as Takuma Takahashi had barely changed at all from who he was three years ago.
"…I'm hungry."
No matter what, humans are creatures that get hungry. Even if I hadn't grown at all as a person, if I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon, of course I'd be hungry.
"But the only thing in the fridge is bean sprouts…"
I quietly closed my eyes and recalled the scene when I opened the fridge yesterday morning to eat a banana.
Inside the fridge there had been one remaining banana and five bags of bean sprouts that cost eleven yen each. There was also yakiniku sauce, mayonnaise, and I think some ketchup too. But no matter how many condiments you have, condiments don't fill your stomach.
You can change the taste, but you can't change that texture or that feeling of actually eating something substantial.
"Even if I eat bean sprouts…"
I was hungry. But somehow, my appetite—one of the three great desires—had been defeated by the continuous boredom of eating bean sprouts every day.
"Haaah… Ah. After hunger comes sleepiness…"
Next, the desire for sleep attacked my body.
Truly, my body was loyal to its desires.
Come to think of it, whenever I wanted something, I bought it. Whenever I felt horny, no matter if it was the third time that day, I never hesitated to move my right hand.
All of that was thanks to my mother, who gave birth to this healthy body that had kept me alive until today. And thanks to my father, who worked hard so that someone like me could attend university. That's what I thought as spring arrived in my twenty-second year.
(Mother's Day is coming up soon, isn't it…)
While thinking about Mother's Day—whether it was still ahead or had already passed—I quietly fell into sleep.
(More importantly… I wonder if I could become a billionaire…)
Right before I lost consciousness, I forgot my gratitude toward my parents and let my desires once again take control of my thoughts.