Cracks
Lila's POV
...
I walked across campus the next morning with my bag slung over one shoulder and my schedule printed out in my hand. Freshman orientation started at nine. The quad buzzed with students everywhere. I kept my head down and followed the signs to the big hall. Inside they handed out folders and talked about classes and clubs. I sat in the back row and tried to pay attention. My mind kept drifting back to the house and to Kai.
Halfway through the welcome speech I spotted him. He stood outside the glass doors with a group of guys in hockey jackets. Girls circled around them laughing at whatever he said. One of them touched his arm and he did not pull away. He looked completely at home. I turned back to the speaker before he could see me staring.
After orientation I grabbed a coffee from the cart outside the library and headed to my first real class. I caught another glimpse of him in the hallway between buildings. He walked with that same easy stride, taller than most of the people around him. Our eyes met for half a second. He did not smile. I looked away fast and kept moving.
By the time I got home the house felt too quiet. Mom and Richard were still at work. I dropped my bag in the kitchen and pulled out my laptop to start the first assignment for English. It was a simple response paper on the reading. I opened the file and stared at the blank page.
Kai came in ten minutes later. He still wore the hoodie from campus. He grabbed a water from the fridge and leaned against the counter watching me type.
"Need help with that?" he asked.
I shook my head. "I got it."
He walked over anyway and stopped right behind my chair. "Let me see."
Before I could stop him he leaned down and rested one hand on the back of my chair. His chest brushed my shoulder. His breath hit the side of my neck when he read the screen. I froze. The warmth of him felt too close. I smelled the faint sweat from practice under his hoodie.
"You look good when you are pissed off," he said quietly.
I turned my head. Our faces were inches apart. "What?"
He straightened but his hand stayed on the chair. "Your face gets this little flush right here." He tapped his own cheek. "Makes you look alive."
I clicked save and closed the laptop. "I do not need your help."
Kai stepped back and crossed his arms. "Suit yourself. But if you want to pass that class you might listen to someone who has already taken it."
I stood up and grabbed my bag. "I will figure it out."
He followed me to the stairs. "Suit yourself."
Later that afternoon I stopped at the campus coffee shop to kill time before dinner. I ordered a latte and found a table by the window. A guy in a different hockey jacket sat down across from me without asking. He had a friendly smile and messy blond hair.
"Hey. You are new, right? I saw you at orientation. I am Tyler. Forward on the team."
I nodded. "Lila."
We talked for a couple minutes about classes. He asked if I wanted to grab a study group sometime. I said maybe. It felt normal. Nice even.
Then the door opened and Kai walked in. His eyes locked on us right away. Tyler noticed and sat up straighter.
"Kai. What is up man?"
Kai did not answer. He stopped at our table and stared at Tyler until the smile faded from the other guy's face. One look. That was all it took. Tyler stood up fast.
"See you around, Lila," he muttered and left.
Kai took the empty seat. "What did I tell you about the rules?"
I gripped my cup. "He was just being friendly."
"He is not your friend." Kai leaned forward. His knee brushed mine under the table. "Stay away from the team. All of them."
I wanted to argue but something in his eyes stopped me. I finished my coffee in silence and left. He did not follow.
That night the house felt heavier. I lay in bed thinking about Dad. The way the crash happened so fast. The way Mom moved on like it was nothing. My chest got tight. I could not breathe right. I got up and walked into the hallway to get some air. The lights were off. I slid down the wall and pulled my knees up. Tears came hot and fast. I pressed my face into my arms and tried to stay quiet.
Footsteps stopped near me.
Kai crouched down. "Lila?"
I did not look up. "Go away."
He did not go. Instead he reached out and pulled me against him. His arms wrapped around me rough like he did not know how to be gentle. One hand slid down my spine and stayed at the small of my back. His shirt smelled like laundry and the cold air from outside. My heart hammered against his chest.
For a second everything stopped. The panic eased. His fingers pressed into my skin through my thin shirt. Heat spread from where he touched me. I felt the hard line of his body and the way his breath caught. Forbidden. Wrong. But I did not pull back.
He held me like that for a long moment. Then he let go and stood up fast. I stayed on the floor looking up at him. The hallway light from the stairwell cast shadows across his face. I saw the first cracks in the way he looked at me. Not just anger. Something else.
I wiped my eyes and stood. We were too close again. His hand came back to my waist like it belonged there. His thumb moved under the hem of my shirt and stroked bare skin. Slow circles that made my stomach flip.
I hated how much I wanted him to keep going.
Kai stared down at me. His voice came out rough.
"Tell me to stop, Lila. Right now. Because if you do not… I am not going to be able to keep pretending I do not want to ruin you."