Chapter 225: The Memetic Banana Infection
[Path: Trailblaze → [Hunt???] → [ERROR]]
"Rekka. Stelle. You two had better not cause any catastrophic trouble this time."
Himeko stood with her arms crossed, her elegant features pinched into a rare expression of sheer exasperation. Originally, the navigator had only intended to pull Rekka aside for a stern lecture regarding his recent chaotic stunts. Yet, looking at the two of them standing side-by-side, she found herself lecturing Stelle as well.
It was simply unimaginable what kind of reality-breaking ideas these two would concoct the moment they were left unsupervised.
The current chaos on the Astral Express was a direct result of Stelle's sudden whim. Just a few days prior, she had convinced Rekka to smash his two Directional Space Displacement Rings together just to see what would happen. The resulting spatial distortion had randomly torn open a portal straight into an isolated World Bubble, yanking Rozaliya and her reconstructed twin Liliya right onto the parlor car carpet.
Despite the newly crowded passenger list, the Astral Express continued to travel smoothly along the star rail, gliding toward their next destination.
[Are you ready, bananas?]
[Aye-aye, Ape-tain!]
[I can't hear you!]
[Aye-aye, Ape-tain!]
[Bana~~~~~~]
[Who lives in the great paradise of the dense forest?]
[Banana Baby!]
[Long, yellow, lively and cute!]
[Banana Baby!]
[If exploring everywhere is your wish,]
[Then knock on the banana tree and let the Ape-tain lead the way!]
Rekka snapped his eyes open. A sharp, throbbing ache pulsed directly behind his temples.
Not good.
He pressed the heels of his hands against his forehead, groaning quietly. It felt as though something foreign and incredibly annoying had burrowed straight into his cerebral cortex.
A meme...
A Memetic Banana?
He blinked away the blurry spots dancing in his vision. It probably wasn't anything important. With his daily shifting Paths and absurd constitution, a little mental static was just par for the course.
"Did you sleep well?"
Himeko watched Rekka stumble out of his room, his fingers still massaging his scalp. Her stern demeanor softened instantly into maternal concern.
"It was alright," Rekka mumbled, his tongue feeling unusually heavy. "But things feel a bit strange. Maybe I'm just not used to the environment of Asdana yet."
He struggled to string his thoughts together. The usual chaotic spark that drove his every action felt smothered under a thick blanket of fog.
"I don't know," he added, his shoulders slumping. "I just feel a bit listless..."
"Maybe you've just been overworked lately?" Himeko suggested gently, pouring a fresh cup of coffee.
"Yeah. Probably."
This time, the Express crew was officially staying at The Reverie Hotel. To be completely honest, the luxurious Dream Pool provided by the hotel didn't feel nearly as comfortable as the makeshift one he had built himself back on the train.
"Rekka, you're so quiet today."
Stelle leaned over and poked the silent boy squarely in the cheek.
"...Huh? Am I?" Rekka turned his head slowly, his eyes glazed and unfocused.
"Yeah, you haven't said a single word since we got off the Astral Express," Stelle observed, crossing her arms. "You were even staring blankly at the wall during the security check, like you hadn't fully woken up yet. What Path are you on today? You look really out of it."
"...I don't know." Rekka shook his head. Even that small motion made his thinking feel sluggish, like stirring a spoon through thick mud.
"You're acting weird. Are you feeling unwell?" Stelle leaned closer, inspecting his face.
"Ah... yeah."
Why was he stuttering today? His mouth simply refused to keep up with his brain.
"If you're not feeling well, you have to say so," Stelle said, her usual deadpan tone laced with genuine worry. "Don't keep it to yourself."
"Okay. I will."
The Dream Pool awaited them.
Entering the dream. Oh, right...
Entering the dreamscape.
After dragging his heavy limbs over to the designated suite, Rekka climbed into the Dream Pool with an embarrassing amount of effort. The specialized fluid enveloped him, and he blankly let his eyes slide shut.
"Rekka. Rekka!"
March 7th's voice pierced through the haze, accompanied by a firm shake to his shoulders.
"Ah... ah!" Rekka jolted, nearly tripping over his own feet as the vibrant, paper-craft scenery of Origami University materialized around him.
"What is wrong with you today?" March planted her hands on her hips, her pink hair bouncing as she frowned at him. "This is the fourth time you've completely spaced out in the last ten minutes."
"...I don't know." Rekka scratched the back of his head, his gaze wandering aimlessly across the bustling campus courtyard.
"You're really not in the right state of mind." March reached out and pressed the back of her hand against his forehead. "Is the pressure of writing your thesis really that high? If you can't finish it, I'll plead with Mr. Yang for you. Or at the very least, you can discuss it with Dan Heng. Do you have a fever?"
"I don't think so." Rekka blinked slowly, trying to focus on her face. "Right... by the way, what just happened?"
"...You... sigh... never mind." March dropped her hand, shaking her head in defeat. "We just entered Origami University, and the professor even came over to shake hands with you."
"Banana-fessor...?"
"Yeah, the Academic Affairs Team unanimously decided to cancel all classes and exams this semester," March chattered on, completely missing his bizarre slip of the tongue. "You only need to participate in the School Anniversary to get your credits! As long as you have fun, it's all good!"
She giggled, her cheerful energy a stark contrast to his lethargy. "But since you're clearly not feeling well, I obviously can't leave you alone. I'll log out and come to your room to take care of you in a bit. Just wait for me."
With a final bright smile, March's figure dissolved into a flurry of iridescent bubbles. She had logged off from the dreamscape.
Rekka blinked hard, rubbing his eyes. The edges of his vision were bleeding into a fuzzy, yellowish blur, like looking at the world through a layer of uncleaned, grease-smeared glass.
Banana-fessor...?
No. It's professor.
His brain felt as if someone had cracked open his skull and stuffed it full of messy, damp cotton. Those strange, upbeat melodies and nonsensical lyrics were still playing on an endless loop deep in his mind. It sounded exactly like a group of invisible monkeys banging cymbals and gongs right next to his eardrums.
"Who lives in the great paradise of the dense forest..."
He muttered the words subconsciously, his voice entirely devoid of emotion. A second later, his jaw snapped shut.
What am I saying?
Is it... the Memetic... Banana?
Meanwhile, in another sector of the dreamscape campus.
"Dan Heng, this is a new friend I just made. She says she's a ninja. I think she's really cool."
Stelle dragged a tall, pink-haired girl by the sleeve, hauling her over to where the Express guard was standing.
"By the way, where are Rekka and March?" Stelle asked, looking around.
"Rekka isn't doing so well, so March went back to the physical world to take care of him," Dan Heng replied, his voice calm and measured.
"True, he looked like he'd lost his soul the moment he arrived," Stelle nodded in agreement.
The pink-haired girl stepped forward, striking a dramatic, sharp pose. "Flying Dragon Ninja. For our first meeting, I am the Dazzling Ninja Hero, AKA, Rappa."
She gave a curt, deeply serious nod, her eyes locked onto Dan Heng with intense focus.
"What...?" Dan Heng stared at her, his expression a mask of quiet exhaustion. "My name is Dan Heng."
"Understood. Flying Dragon Ninja, AOI, Dan Heng-dono." Rappa nodded again, her face remaining entirely solemn as she assigned him a completely fabricated title.
Dan Heng simply closed his eyes, choosing silence over the monumental effort of correcting her.
"I have come to this realm to hunt our sworn enemy, the Evil Ninja Ape," Rappa declared, her voice ringing with absolute conviction. "I am here only to set up Dazzling Ninja Seals within the campus grounds to break the Evil Ninja's foul formation."
"Evil Ninja... what exactly is that?" Dan Heng asked, his brow twitching slightly.
"I'm not entirely sure," Stelle chimed in, scratching her cheek. "But earlier when I first entered the dream, I inexplicably ran into some really weird things... something about bananas. And there seemed to be monkeys, too."
"...I don't follow." Dan Heng pinched the bridge of his nose.
"While you may not necessarily know me, you surely know my esteemed colleague," Rappa continued, entirely unfazed by their confusion. "The silver-armored, heroic, and unrestrained Ninja Hero who is highly skilled in Gun-and-Bullet Ninjutsu, and who often speaks with colorful pleasantries..."
"...Are you talking about... Boothill?" Stelle asked, a spark of recognition lighting up her eyes.
She remembered him clearly. He was a loud, boisterous Galaxy Ranger who had a bizarre habit of calling everyone 'baby' due to his profanity filter. Back when Aventurine was making his dangerous moves against the Express crew, Boothill had unexpectedly rushed out to lend them a hand.
He was definitely an acquaintance.
Back in the physical world, the quiet corridors of The Reverie Hotel were completely still.
"Rekka."
March knocked lightly on the heavy wooden door of his suite. There was no response. She waited for a few seconds, her brow furrowing in confusion. She looked down at the handle and realized the door wasn't even latched shut. It was hanging open by an inch.
How could he be so careless today? Rekka was chaotic, sure, but he was never defenseless.
"I'm coming in, okay? Rekka?"
March pushed the door open. The room was dim, illuminated only by the soft, pulsing glow of the Dream Pool in the center of the suite.
"...Rekka?"
She stepped closer, her boots making no sound on the plush carpet.
Lying inside the Dream Pool wasn't Rekka. Instead, resting comfortably in the specialized fluid, was a very familiar-looking, furry figure.
When she had first entered Origami University earlier today, March had casually joined a campus chat group called the Sleepy Banana Monkey Fan Club. According to the students, Sleepy Banana Monkeys were a massive, trending phenomenon in the dreamscape lately. They loved to slack off, eat bananas, lived in a conceptual space called the Moment of Sleepy Bananas, and led a completely carefree life.
However, this cartoonish, yellow-furred creature should not, and most certainly ought not, be physically lying inside Rekka's real-world Dream Pool.
, as the creature shifted in the fluid, it opened its mouth and spoke in a voice she recognized perfectly.
"...March... Senior."
The Sleepy Banana Monkey struggled to articulate the words, its jaw moving awkwardly as Rekka's exact voice echoed from its throat.
In just a fraction of a second, the cheerful light vanished from March's face. Her pupils dilated, the bright pink irises bleeding into a deep, chilling blood-red. The temperature in the room plummeted.
'...My other self.'
A cold, ancient voice echoed directly within the confines of her mind.
[...The situation is not good.]
"What..." March whispered, her voice dropping an octave, completely devoid of its usual bubbly warmth.
[It is a memetic virus.]
"A memetic virus..." March stared down at the monkey, her hands curling into tight fists at her sides. "Is this really Rekka?"
Her knuckles turned white. Her hands trembled slightly.
It wasn't fear. It was pure, unadulterated anger.
Who did this?
[...I cannot deal with the memetic virus currently attached to him. He is far too special. If I attempt to force it out, you will definitely be infected as well.]
Long Night Moon delivered the grim assessment with absolute certainty.
In the pool, the Rekka monkey blinked its large, dopey eyes, completely oblivious to the lethal aura radiating from the girl above it, and let out a pathetic, high-pitched banana-like cry.
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