Disclaimer this chapter involves mentions of self harm and attempted suicide please read at viewers discretion
Chapter 9 Training 1
POV Blaze
Location: Marcoon City, Blaze's apartment
--The next day--
Sitting in my apartment, it was apparent I was too cocky from my hunting trip, not knowing the ins and outs of my system, let alone all my skills. My system's new customization now had tabs for each function, as three new functions were visible: quests, crafting, and titles.
System functions [Stats][Skills][Storage][Quests][Craft][Titles]
[Quests] were pretty simple. It was any current quest I've taken or been given by the system or anyone else. [Crafting] was a tab that held all the recipes for items I could craft with the help of the system, but it would only be low-level basic things unless I took up actual crafting jobs like smithing, alchemy, sigil craft, or the like.
While [Titles]were something I could equip that could do some crazy things like stat boosts, immunities, or even affect others or even reality to a degree. To unlock them, I'd have to do tasks to get them; for example, if I hunted over a hundred of a monster type, I'd get the slayer tag of that being, giving me bonus effects when facing them.
There was also a change to my [Skill] menu, as now I could obtain skills from the system itself that would be completely compatible, as well as some that only it could teach me. I could also use my skill points to upgrade my skills instead of leveling them, but just using them over time. Opening it up, looking at it, I looked at it for a bit before going to my [Storage].
I swiped my hand on the interface before pulling out the aura manual I was rewarded with. Taking a calming breath, I opened up the book reading, and it wasn't a skill book per se, but if one could comprehend what was written, then one could learn many skills from it in theory; at worst, I'd only learn to use Aura, and at best I'd get many benefits. As if in a trance, the words I was reading started to blur, as well as the sigils and runes, as everything faded away in a dark gray light. My body felt heavy; I felt myself drifting as if sinking through my own body, through the floor, into a void of black.
Suddenly, I was standing in a vast, endless sea and night sky filled with stars and a permanently eclipsed moon and sun. Looking around, I saw nothing but my reflection in the water I stood on, the floor of water under my feet rippling before going calm to mirror the sky. "I...Is this...my soul...space?"
My words echoed before becoming a whisper in the air, cold yet warm air; it was such a contradiction of cold and hot, night and day. I began to wander, getting used to this all stopping. I closed my eyes and put my right hand on the middle of my chest, feeling a deep warmth inside. Opening my eyes, I lifted my left hand and kept holding onto this feeling. Everything I was doing felt natural and alien at the same time, as if I always knew how to do it, just never knew the proper way to make it come forth. I felt it slowly travel out of my hand as blazing gray and white flame covered my hand. This wasn't a flame made by mana, but this was my soul, my aura.
Soon, the flame started to morph and changed into a square, then into other shapes: a sphere, hexagon, even a complex hypersquare, before stopping on a diamond. This shape felt the most natural to me. It felt like it was me. The book did state that one must form one's aura from nothing to make a core here, something solid to stay here to better connect with one's soul and tether their aura. This purple diamond felt like the perfect beginning form of my soul core. Putting more thought and effort into it, the raw gem chipped and fractured away.
The extra chunks fell into the water, making it glow softly, as all I was left with was a broken, cut gem, but it was beautiful despite being broken. All may not want it, but I and I wanted it alone. I gently held my soul core...no, my heart in my hands, slowly letting it go as it floated in the empty space.
It throbbed and grew slowly to its was at 8 meters, towering over my body, giving off a warm flame in the cold, beautiful space. Smiling, I knew I was done here, in this space of my heart and soul, closing my eyes one last time....But I stopped myself; this felt right but not what my soul should be, as I once again saw that specter as his hand reached into me, as I found myself lying on the water's floor, as the broken cut diamond was now an 8-pointed star, 4 points silver, the other 4 empty but the lines there as if waiting to be filled in.
It was very clear to me now that version that specter of me was me; was it my future, some omen, or the true way I saw myself on a soul level? I was left with only more questions, but I had more clarity as well, as I saw a vision of me on multiple pathways. A blacksmith hammering away at weapons and artifacts of untold power, me a scholar using rune magic with ease in robes and magical tomes at my beck and call.
A summoner commanding many different magical beasts and spirits to fight for and alongside me; oddly enough, there were 5 silhouettes of summons I couldn't make out. Yet there loyilty and strength left me wanting more.
However, the last two paths were ones I was trying to blend into: one, a master of the sword and blade, unparalleled in the deadly elegant dance of the two different weapon types coming together in union; and finally, a mage commanding magics with innate command and leadership like a king would his people. I always wanted to be a spellblade or mageknight to use magic and blade as one...It was clear no path had anything from the other; each one was just that one pathway. My soul was telling me to choose my path among them all.
But I'm a greedy man with far too much ambition to only be locked into just one path; I will walk the pathway that will allow me to use all. My mother and father were both summoners; if not had familiars, and that was one of the things people believed I'd gravitate to. Same with the path of a knife or blade user over a sword, or my innate understanding to create a fireball at the age of 5 with no system, no teaching; I just placed my hands together and brought forth fire like my namesake... it was on my birthday none the less it was snowing. It was cold, and I wanted a fire to play with.
I had so much promise, but I would always choose what I wanted over just what was given to me, which my father...he encouraged me to walk my own path even if it was my silly dreams, like playing as a warrior king as a child with my older brother and cousins.
Sadly... traumatic events seemed to cap all that potential in me...I had to stop myself yet again from letting my mind go to those painful thoughts as I gripped my right hand, where burnt skin could be seen with a faded black X...
The soul shook as it felt my choise I made for myself going forward as I felt myself pulled out this space the spector staring at me as I fell throught the waters as he looked at me simling as he grew younger the missing arm returning the blood red half of his hair becoming silver white agian as it was that same 5 year old litte werewolf pup waving to me holding in his hand a silver, purple and blood red gradiant flame.
Waking up, blinking my eyes away, I saw that the book was still on my lap, the pages empty as it had served its purpose. It faded back into the Aether from which it was made. Looking at my phone, I saw I was only asleep for 5 minutes at best, yet it felt like hours, if not days.
Talk about surprising. I assumed I'd been out for hours. Well, it doesn't matter, as I'd be taking these next few days to train. There are many things I'd need to learn about this new body of mine, as well as use and get familiar with all my skills before anything going forward.
First on that list was mental and spiritual training. I may know how to use my Aura now, but it still needed to be faster to call out and use in the heat of battle. Crossing my legs and putting my hands together, I focused on all my enhanced senses, staring at my wall and trying to see all I could before closing my eyes.
Everything was black, and a soft ringing of the lack of sound went through my eyes as I meditated and tried to push all my senses. Soon, everything was buzzing. A light, almost invisible aura flame ignited as I felt, heard, saw, smelled, and even tasted everything around me, everything being sent to me by my aura. This new way of processing info was indescribable before I was flooded with notifications as I continued grounding my body, mind, and soul.
~~[Predators Body(B+)] has leveled up now lv4~~
~~[Predators Body(B+)] has leveled up now lv 5~~
~~[Predators Body(B+)] has leveled up now lv 6~~
~~ User has generated skill [Aura senses(B)]~~
~~[Aura senses(B)] has leveled up now level 2~~
~~ User has generated skill [Meditation(E+)]~~
~~[Meditation(E+)] has leveled up now level 2~~
Swiping away all the pop-ups beside one as, I was already aware that [Aura senses] was a skill that lets me sense things using my aura and relay them back to my body, or just a sensory skill; a basic yet very fundemental Aura skill as It was a litteral sixth sense to me given me a edge in more then just combat but in learning too in a way, but [Meditation] was more interesting.
~~[Meditation(E) Lv:2] is an active skill and does not require any cost. It can be used to help the user recover lost mana and stamina at a faster rate. Additionally, this skill can enhance mental awareness and help channel one's energy.~~
With this new info, I activated [Meditation], as my main goal was to feel my mana and be able to use it to enhance my body like once before gaining the system, before heading to the guild to train my body.
I had a long way to go and a lot of catch-up to do; better to start now than never. I grew serious in my resolve to be stronger and have a life I could control. No more pain, no more betrayal.
My mind flashed to the thought of a raven-haired woman with striking red stripes in it, us both smiling, happy, before it soon went to scenes of me being run through with a spear, only to see the face I trusted..I loved. To betray me and walk away with another. As I lay there bleeding out, only by my sheer will did I make my way to Gorath painfully.
At that moment, I swore off love and my weakness, unable to keep the one I loved, only for her to be stolen by someone stronger. She did love me, but her love for him and his power was far more significant. So much so that she would rather sever our relationship in such a bloody way that would always leave a scar. I thought, touching the lightning bolt-like scar over my heart, that only by some regret or maybe even pity did she just graze my heart and not impale me, killing me then and there. Sadly, that was 3 years ago, a Vampire, well, Damphier, actually...I gave her my heart, and she would destroy it.
My right fist clenched so hard that my nails quickly drew blood, and gray flames blazed from my bloody hand. I will cast out my weakness, my despair. I Will Change This fate of mine that always takes and takes. No, I will take it all. Im no longer that weak little puppy or some sad, depressed, heartbroken boy who tried taking his life pathetically because of the hurt, shame, and betrayal...I knew it wasn't right to close off many of my emotions, but it helped me push those horrible events away that I was not ready to touch... haha. I'm so pathetic to want to kill myself because a woman cheated on me and left me for said man after running me through....
I could only feel hot tears of self-hatred stream down my cheeks as I laughed bitterly, the silver flames only growing brighter.
"AHHHHHH!" I let out a pained scream as multiple images flashed in my head: being held by a dead body, lying in my blood... bringing forth a knife to said scarred chest...and finally...a...moon. Then me calling forth fire as the silver flames became red as I opened my hand to see a fireball. It was small but bright, much more potent than I've ever made in my life...Fire brought forth destruction, but also creation: new life, a new way.
~~....User though his own will as generated the skill [Fireball(E) .....[Fireball(E) has evolved in rank to [Fireball(C+)]...~~
I won't let myself be drowned in this sea of regrets, what-ifs, and sadness. I will go forward; I will devour everything to grow; even my sadness I will eat! So watch out, I won't stop!