Tophat stared at the man named Joey for quite a while longer. There was something about him, in the way in which he carried himself and spoke, he couldn't put his finger on what it was excactly, but it certainly made him livid enough to want to tear him limb from limb and then burn the remains, and then light fire to the ashes as well.
Whether that fact was entirely Joey's fault or a combination of it and his anger issues getting out of control remained to be seen.
For now, he relaxed, he took a step forward and shook his hand.
Joye's smile intensified.
"Joey, you have been summoned here for a specific reason, I reckon a smart guy like you has already figured out this much." Tophat seemed to have regained a bit of his gentlemanly composure as he launched into an explanation as soon as their hands seperated.
"Under circumstances that I'm not at liberty to narrate for you, it has been concluded by the {◈} that your passing has been in violation of {◈}Rule<#49229145/91420518651851435>.
"Therefore, appropriate compensation is required according to {◈}Rule<#4922..
Joey listened to Tophat go on and on about the rules and regulations, obviously lost and without a clue of what Tophat was talking about, but there was no harm in letting the situation play itself out, so he waited.
It was a few minutes later, when Tophat finished with his long and tedious sermon, that Joey spoke up again, still just as jumbled up as before.
"I do not understand, how can my death violate rule123 or whatever, death is not a crime, and what is all that compensation talk about, are you saying I'm required to repay some debt?"
Tophat laughed, he enjoyed Joey's confusion and didn't care enough to conceal it, his face blooming vibrantly like a sunflower.
He too bathed in the fake sun's bright light, appearing to be in his element.
Joey was vexed by Tophat's blatant mocking but tried to contain his reactions.
Nevertheless, Tophat's goal hadn't changed, and after a few more seconds of annoying giggles, he stopped and cleared his throat.
"I'm not in any position to answer all your burning questions, however, my job here today is to brief you on all the relative information that you will need to complete your journey and, in turn, allow us to fix the crisis caused by certain events."
"What sort of crisis and what events, what does any of this have to do with me getting capped?" Joey was usually a rational person, prefering to deal with his problems by adapting and evolving rather than brute force, but he had his limits as well.
"I'm not at liberty to say."
"wha—"
Tophat prevented another fight as he interrupted Joey.
"..You, Joey... have been touched by Divinity, a substancial amount, in fact, has been deposited in your very being, preventing you from reaching your intended destination.
..
"Now, I don't think I need to tell you that Divinity isn't some object to be sullied by mortal hands, and due to reasons that I'm not at liberty to discuss with you, a decision has been made for you.
..
"Joey, you must, once more, descent to the mortal world and disperse said Divinity naturally. Of course, a lowly human like yourself won't be able to accomplish such a task, unless, of course, you are prepared for it here, by us." Tophat spoke entirely without contempt, only stating the facts.
..
..
Joey was unresponsive, his gaze downcast.
Tophat waited for a response, but none came, impatient and curious, he asked.
"Did your brain get fried, why are you just standing there?"
Finally, Joey looked up from the surface of the water at Tophat, and with eyes full of dread, his lips parted slowly.
"Wha-what do you mean, t-touched and de-deposited?"
..
?
..
"Well, answer me." Joey's buttocks clenched for impact, Tophat's silence not doing his anxious mind any favours.
Then...
"I'm not at liberty to say."
"You motherf—"
"mmmhmmhmhmhmhmmhmm."
"Hahahahahahahahahahah.."
Tophat bound Joey again, this time his hands and feet, as well as his mouth, and burst out in laughter, his face full of ridicule as Joey's painful moaning and squirming fueled the very flames of the joke.
"mmmmhmhmhmhmmmmmhmmh."
Some time had to pass for Tophat to come down from his high, although that didn't prove to be easy, as Joey's drugged-like craze showed zero signs of mellowing out.
"hooooo, that makes me feel ten times better, thank you, Joey." Tophat adressed the man writhing with fury, truthfully.
"mmmmhmhmhmhmhmmhmh."
"Anyway, judging from your state, it would be unwise to unbind you once again. Thankfuly, our time together is very close to being over, so here is my parting gift to you..."
Tophat took a deep breath, feeling refreshed, he averted his eyes from Joey's miserable form and begun.
"Your implanted Divinity...
"mmhmhmmhmhmhmmhmhm!"
..will take the form of a personal guide that your's truly was gracious enough to create purely for your convenience and ease of access."
"It will act mainly as a storage of detailed information at your beck and call and also, in limited capacity, will give you the freedom to manage benefits harvested by the use Divinity, you lucky cookie you!"
"mmmmhmhmhmhhmhmmhmhmh."
"..aaaand last, but certainly not least, a spin of the karma wheel, cliche, I know."
Suddenly, an ethereal golden-blue wheel appeared next to the pair.
It seemed more similar to a clock with four hands than a wheel. It was almost entirely covered in engravings depicting various scenes, while lines and lines of what Joey could only describe as gibberish occupied its whole body in the same manner that numbers did on a basic wall clock. It had multiple faces overlapping, Joey found it trippy, as they were all visible simultaneously.
Ginarmous was a word that could just slightly represent its size.
"Okay then, sit back and relax while it takes a spin, don't worry, you won't be needing your arms, hehe."
"mhmhmhmhmhhm." Joey's anger had gone down a notch, if only because of the insane spectacle unfolding in front of him.
The wheel had started spinning, strangely, it made no sound as it sped up more and more, it produced no reaction at all, no huge air currents, which were very approppriate for an object that size spinning at such speeds, nor did it break the sound barrier, as Joey was pretty sure it had far surpassed that velocity already.
So either the wheel itself didn't abide by the known laws of physics or this artificial enviroment was responsible, either way Joey would never know, and there were more pressing matters to deal with right now.
Gradually, its speed fell until eventually it came to a halt, the four hands each pointing to seperate sections of the wheel.
"Ooof, it's not looking good, Joey, according to the wheel, you've been a bad boy, there are not many things I can do for you now, but wish you luck!"
?
"Well, goodbye!"
?
"mhmhmhmh."
"mhmhmhmh."
"mhmhmhmhmhmhmhmh."
Joey frantically tried to get Tophat's attention.
Tophat, noticing the man's squirms getting more desperate and his eyeballs moving eratically, pointing downwards, decided to humor him as he undid the binding on his mouth.
"What did the wheel do, what do these letters mean, and where are you sending me?"
..
"Answer me, Tophat!"
"Since you asked so nicely...
..in plain terms, the karma wheel uses one's accumulated karma during their whole life cycle as fuel."
"Then, depending on a ton of factors that I won't bore you with, acts as a filter, per se..."
"A fliter?" Joey questioned
"What kind of filter?" He doubled down.
"A filter regarding your fate, of course."
..
"Aaand that's pretty much it, see ya never, Joey." Tophat waved towards Joey enthusiastically.
"Waaaaait, what did the wheel decide, you never tol—"
In a puff of imanigary smoke, Joey was gone, erased, and tranquility returned once more as Tophat took of his top hat and bowed at the now empty space where Joey used to be mere seconds ago.
"You can't have everything, Joey, otherwise what's the use for my wonderful guide?"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
A disgusting odor, like a rotting corpse thrown in a dumpster that hadn't been emptied for weeks. It made one want to hold their breath and close their mouth in fear of an airborne threat rising and invading the body, infecting with smell alone.
It was dark, something gooey was touching his left ankle, he was laying in what felt like trash bags, the contours of the trash inside stabbing into his back through the polyethylene, giving him an extremely uncomfortable feeling.
He started breathing heavy, louder and more panicked, the more he regained his senses, the worse it got. He had to get out, NOW!
The trash juice-stained lid almost flew of its hinges as he crashed into it with full force, gathering enough strenght to hop out of the trash, he jumped and landed on his feet, before attempting to run, unfortunately he was too weak, as he tripped over his own thighs, collapsing on the wall to his side.
He didn't attempt to get up as he focused on catching his breath, the refreshing oxygen of clean unpoluted air doing wonders for his lungs and, most importanly, his brain.
A stabbing sensation of pain soon overtook his senses, for a few seconds he was helpless under it, until finally it subsided.
Opening his eyes, new found clarity could be seen shining through...
"Toooooooooooooooophaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!"