"I like you."
These words, once spoken, shattered something within me; like a world breaking apart beneath frozen waters.
His voice works like a spell — so gentle, too bewitching, but I was the unfortunate one; to never be the one it'd casted for.
His tone carried those words like a fragile melody, carried by gentleness, and driven by emotional weight. Presumably, he long had her in his heart.
I saw his eyes glistening, so as she. With a sad yet happy look etched on her face.
And I....I was left unable to love again, as though that part of me had silently faded — never to crawled back.
In my old age, I passed away alone in my small shop. My frail body lay on a long chair, gently swinging back and forth, but no sign of life could be felt anymore.
I, Kataleya Freen.
Before I reached the end of my life, in my hands, holding a memory card I'd lost in the past. I'm really not quite sure how I managed to find it, it's as if I'd just snapped back to my senses when I realised I was already holding it.
It holds my regret. The memories inside were too clear that I began to think mine was false all along.
I really regret it...Not trying hard back then. I...My first love...
— slow exhale
Her last breath wilted, and ultimately, threaded with lingering regrets.
[ Back to 17 years old ]
"Look at her, how thick-faced she is! Not only cruel, but also rebellious!", whispers spreading out in the nearby neighbourhood.
Freen was on her way to school. This school was built specifically for orphans; an art school that fully supports the one who had lost their light. The school provided essential need, fundamental equipment, and offered a wide range of creative fields; including drawing and painting, graphic design, photography, animation, film and video production, music and performance arts, sculpture, fashion design, crafts, and creative writing. Basically, the more talented a student is, the more benefit they would gain, and Freen was one of them.
— And as early as that, these people truly lived up to their name as hovering leeches. It was as though they had been waiting in front of their house. With her friend, they simultaneously reach the sunflower seeds in her palm, and a crack sound escapes as they bite it open. Following the sounds, it makes the tension grow even stronger as they eyed her with piercing, judging looks.
Freen didn't even spare a glance at them. As long as she's there, there is truly no one who can live up to her expectations other than Madam Ardellia, unlike her step sister, Madam Cora. She's a good one. Freen was living in a small house offered by the ranking system of the school, and only Madam Cora who was kind enough to take care of her.
Madam Ardellia, she, went on a strike again. Since Freen's childhood, she'd always been like that. To her, blood relations are thicker than anything. If the family is that way, the child would naturally be the same. Words alone can't break it, nor can acting done just for show. Despite Freen having been estranged from her family for ages, nothing can deceive Madam Ardellia rational thinking. The way people treat her is evident enough.
And Freen long had gotten used to it. She did not fight, nor did she try to prove — as long as nothing too out of line was made, then she might as well close her ears and listen only to nature.
Other than this, the rest was quite an ordinary day. Freen was by her bicycle on a pathway near the big street filled with hustle bustle as usual, followed by a morning broadcast speaker ringing throughout the whole area, and busy people walking across. This day, nice weather covered the whole place, but the same emptiness on her was tightly contained, like a chain she chose not to let go. Something was amiss in every step of her life.
Nonetheless, her leg continued pedaling at a moderate pace until she eventually arrived. 'Quite a troublesome day after all, has begun', her weighty sigh as if saying this.
After Freen parked her bicycle, she immediately went into the school library; a place specially for learning, inspiration, research, and creativity support, all could be researched in a book on the shelves. She didn't stop along the way until her feet reached the doorway. Finishing a task is important for a peaceful life. As for the trouble she had mentioned, she was quite confident that it would not reach her as long as she wanted. However, not as predicted, trouble arose towards her as soon as the break's bell rang — that is, when she had just finished cleaning and decorating the library on the first day of her duty.
On the other hand, some news after all, was more entertaining than any other.
"Have you heard? A new in duty student had taken charge of the library? And the most shocking things is, the one who hold such responsibility is, The ice queen, Freen!"
"Really?!"
"It's damn real! The library inside was the real deal!", and a hushed tone took over, slowly motioned towards the others, " Like you're on a study group vacation."
The others naturally laughed, and one carried on, "Such unprecedented things about her! It should be like — A vacation study session in the library!"
At once, a bang on a desk pounded, and cackles burst out, instantly causing a stir in the classroom.
As Clyve Luke, the arts ace; who's also widely known as a clown heard this, immediately arose from his seat. He suddenly glanced over the group and urged them. Restrained exuberance was still visible on his features.
"Then, what are you waiting for? Let's go take a look."
One of the people exclaimed at once, "Good! My friends are truly worthy of the name, 'Charmer'."
During break, they walked over the hallway in a group of four and eventually arrived, but only for a sense of amazement creeping into them. Nothing was out of ordinary, nevertheless, the whole interior was quite cozy, like a small space just meant for people to have a peaceful holiday in. Rather than the outside, the library was more tranquil. The air was filled with a scent of paper, of books, and a faint scent of rosewood — as if a new batch of necessities had just been arranged, especially the shelves. It was short and filled with books as it stood in place, neatly arranged, whilst forming a measurable walkway each in between.
Other than that, there was a corner on the side, placed with each set of long desks, and a bunch of chairs with cushions, quite comfortable for sitting and reading.
Beside, a tall, wide glass window, which at first long had lost its charm, came to life after a thorough cleaning. Long, green leaves can be seen outside, dangling gracefully as the wind touches, tenderly sending some inside through the slightly opened window.
At first glance, Clyve's complexion softened as his eyes fell across the span of the room.
Clyve couldn't help himself being allured. He savored the place deeply, as if from that day onward, it had become a part of him forever as he wandered through.
At once, something clicked on his mind, remembering something. He then scanned anywhere nearby but his friend was nowhere to be seen, hence, he could only venture inside carefully, while searching for their shadow.
His foot passed by a row of books and began strolling everywhere, and handling everything that touched his interest.
As he carried on walking in wonder, his eyes once more fell towards the on-duty girl. A sense of wonder slowly guides his step, leading him past several shelves, when his sight of her gets clearer over the passing moments. Then, he stopped at the second row of shelves and picked some random books. He flips it open as he holds his breath and gushes out slowly before his eyes set on the girl again.
'She must have really loved books when she took care of this place', then, he started thinking again, 'Actually, which one is the real you?'
Since the counter stood beside the wall, the soft morning light penetrating the window's glass beside inevitably causes the girl's face to dimly brighten in a soft glow, making her face vividly be identified. What he knew was that each of her body's movements carried a gentle, refined grace as she worked on some kind of documentation — presumably a student's record.
Regardless, given how that graceful essence of hers could put him in ease truly was odd enough for a stranger. In addition to how distant the kind of person she is.
Clyve scoffed at himself, because after all those days, he still caught himself back to these matters he knew had no possibility.
Freen put out her reading glasses upon noticing something. She lifted her head, hearing some movement on the second row of shelf in front of her. As her round and shiny eyes swept along the span of the space, it finally fell towards him; with a tiny bit of perplexion followed. Precisely to those moments, recognizing her causing his eyes to widen more in astonishment. Immediately, Clyve straightened his back and accelerated his casual pace — so quick that Freen hadn't managed a proper look at him before his figure disappeared from sight.
When he was finally out of the place, Clyve's complexion wavered — it sparkled. The small, foolish lift in his chest refused to fade as he swung around to face the way towards the teacher's room.
'Glen, is that you?', after Clyve departing did Freen finally move her head around, mistaking him as her nephew.