Okay, what would you do if you were reincarnated as a baby?
What would you do? Really, answer my question.
What? You would train?
Okay okay, good point, trying to get an early start in life? Smart, smart, I'll keep that in mind.
Okay, what else would you do?
You'll try to get information about your life? Your surroundings? Where you've been reincarnated?
Super smart, good call here. I'll keep it in mind too.
What else?
You would think?
What do you mean by that?
Ohhhh, you would make a plan for the future with the information you gathered to get the best early start as possible!
For example if you were reincarnated in avatar, you'll try to firebend or whatever as soon as possible, or if you were in baki as an hanma, you'll start training as young as possible, only physically, or maybe you'd try to imagine a giant praying mantis.
Got it.
So that's what you'd do.
And that's what I was planning to do.
...
However, there's been a slight....problem
I stare at the ceiling, ceiling I can barely see with my blurry eyes. My vision has improved for sure, still less than an adult though.
I turn my head. Slightly. Left and right, observing my crib.
It's a weird little thing. It has weird drawings and shapes I don't recognize on it.
It's placed beside the bed of my parents, nobody is in the room yet. Well, they were, but then they woke up and left, not fully of course, the bedroom door is still wide open, and even if I can't see her.
I can her my mother moving around and humming something.
So...that's my boring life.
My boring life with a problem.
A problem my parents and I can feel thoroughly
Them because they hear me cry. Constantly. Even more than a normal baby would cry.
And me because...
Well, how about I just show you why huh?
Okay! Let's start with training!
I'm currently three weeks old. I think.
In any case, I'll show you my working routine!
I push my grubby little hands high above my face, I look like a dumb baby trying to grab something in front of me.
I clench my hands as hard as I can, pushing through the pain.
A weird sound escapes my nose, a mix of exertion, sobbing, and laughter, all with the voice of a baby.
When I can't hold this anymore, I let my arms go down and wince, almost crying again because of the pain I feel.
Okay arms are done! I'm too tired to continue!
I push my legs beneath me, and like everyday. And every hours. I try to get up.
In the end the best I manage is slamming my feet on the crib bed and doing bicycle kicks, the ultimate fighting technique for younger brothers.
And I'm dead tired.
I drop down, dead and limp, and almost cry again but manages to restrain myself at the pain that assaults my limbs.
Yeah, the pain.
Do you see the problem here?
Before I realized I was reincarnated, I thought I was being tortured. And not because I have a dumb baby brain, well, because I have a dumb baby brain, but also because I was feeling constant and agonizing pain.
And it didn't stop.
I still feel it.
I still cry every second of the fucking day, so much that I'm worried about my throat, may injure my vocal cords forever.
I still feel it, the pain.
The only reprieve I get from the pain. Is when I manage to move, I don't know why, but moving around helps me.
Problem is....
You just saw my whole training program, my whole circuit of hell and death, pure training that'll make me into a BEAST!
My whole DEADLY training that takes me....two minutes to finish. I get tired real quick.
Like real fucking quick.
I can't even crawl for fuck sake.
How am I supposed to do pushups?
Okay, okay, in any case, if I can't train for long. It doesn't matter right? I can just start thinking and planning for the future right?
You think? You really think I can?
Okay...I'll show you what happens when I try to think then.
I relax fully on my crib, stopping my small movements, the worm wriggling as I call it.
I basically wriggle like a little shit in my crib. Constantly.
Helps with the pain.
In any case, I relax fully and try to think about my workout program.
About what I could do to improve as fast as possible, if I should develop skills like meditation or anything and...I clench my gums.
Yes, my gums, because I don't have teeth. I clench them as hard as I can as rising sobs start to claw their way out of my throat, trying to escape and make me cry.
Cry as if I were a baby feeling their body being torn apart in real time.
Which is pretty much what I'm feeling right now.
I close my eyes, tears sliding down my cheeks, sobs comes, sobs that I muffle as best as I can.
The fear of being picked up and restrained again helps.
Yes. I know those parents of mine are just worried, that they're trying to reassure me or something.
But being picked up feels worse than being in my crib.
The second they pick me up and cradle me, I can't move as much as usual, I can't do my worm wriggle, and just like I'm showing right now.
Less movement. More suffering.
So I do my best to shut up even when I want to bawl my eyes out.
I don't know if that's because I'm a baby and my pain resistance is small, but the pain is genuinely horrendous, it's fucking horrible.
I'm not saying this as a joke.
It spreads everywhere, I can feel my arms buzzing in pain, as if my veins were exploding. I can feel the same in my legs, in my torso, in my organs.
Did you ever felt your liver pulsing with pure pain as if you drank magma?
No?
Because that's what I'm feeling.
I'm feeling everything, I can feel my guts too, my intestines, the horrible pulse of sharp pain flowing through it as if I had appendicitis but in EVERY part of me.
My throat feels the same, my eyes, my ears, the root of my hair.
Everything.
Fucking everything feels horrible.
I crack and start wriggling in my bed again like a worm.
Quickly enough, the pain subsides, going from "OH MY FUCKING GOD I'M GONNA CRY PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE" to "FUUUUUUCK THIS HURT THISHUUUUUURT"
Which is a net improvement.
So, do you see the problem with thinking?
Do you see? Do you see that I'm a dumb fucking baby, and doing two things at the same time, in this case thinking and doing my worm wriggling is hard as fuck?
Do you see that I constantly need to focus on wriggling because this shit isn't an habit yet!? Because I wasn't born for long enough to develop any fucking habits!?
You do?
Great!
I hope you do because now we need to talk about the last part, information.
While wriggling, I try to turn on my side. I don't manage. I try to look on my right, where light comes in. From the window.
....and that's all I see.
Well not really, there's still my parents bed on my left.
The bed is pretty normal looking, even if they look worse than what I've had in my previous life.
But maybe we're just poor.
Apart from that though?
Nothing else.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE I REINCARNATED!
Well, I think I'm in Asia of course.
But apart from that?
Nothing, Nada. I don't have anything.
And I'm bound to live the rest of my life in suffering...forever.
WHAT EVEN DO I HAVE!? AM I HANDICAPPED OR SOMETHING!?
My parents didn't figured out something's wrong with me yet.
Which is a shame because I would love to see a doctor.
...they'll get me to a doctor right?