My first few days in my room, MY ROOM, MYYYYYYYYY ROOM, YOUPIE!
Sorry, got excited.
In any case, the first few days were...uh, less private than I hoped.
Well, that was to be expected to be honest. I don't know what I hoped for, probably that they close the door and leave me to my things.
Of course not.
Nothing really changed.
I still have a crib and shit, I don't even have a bed.
This whole room business is probably a secondary gift, and more than anything, a way for them to test me.
I'm sure it's a test.
IT MUST BE A TEST!?
Why do I know it's a test? It's because of all the things they said.
Between the "Don't worry, we're just next door"
And the "If you need to, we can move your &# whenever you want"
I'M SURE IT'S A TEST!
They need a child that can have it's own independence, one day at least. And if I start crying whenever I'm alone in my future room, when I'm eight years old or something like that, you can see why that could be a problem.
So they're testing me. They're slowly teaching me and helping me adapt for the future, the future when I could have my door closed and get fuuuuuull privacy.
I can see it.
I can see the test.
No, it's not that I can see it, it's that I SAW it, and I took that personally.
I took that as a challenge.
That's why, today, I decided to become one with zen.
I've became a monk again
My life as a monk never ended, it has only just begun, and today, against this challenge, I must be one with my monk side
This night. In my new room, was like most night.
After showing me my new room. Who's pretty plain, only my crib in it for now, it's clean yes. But I'll admit, it's in a pretty sad state.
There's just...nothing but my crib.
Well, there's also a locked box. On the corner of my room, on it there's my handheld mirror.
Apart from that, there's nothing. It's just a wooden room, a small cramped -but giant for me- wooden room that would do well for a child first room.
There's of course, the window that's just beside my crib. Something I wouldn't usually recommend because of kidnappings and stuff, but maybe I'm just paranoid since they don't seem too worried about that.
I appreciate the gesture. My crib is just under the window, so if I stand up in my crib and look up, I can see the window and the outside.
The outside leads to a street. Like all the windows in my home, it doesn't look that good.
It's just a street. That's all, pure boringness, there isn't a secret library around, or interesting people walking in the street.
No, it's just a street like all the other streets I saw today during my birthday.
There's the weird brown ground, the gutters around the street, the houses around, the roofs. And the rain.
I'll be able to see lots of rain.
Why does it rain so much around here?
Whatever, even if the view isn't good, I still appreciate the gesture. They clearly put me directly under the window so that I could look at it, they know me well enough to know that I'm a sucker for windows.
They don't know why.
But I do.
And now, I have a constant reminder that I didn't found what I wanted during my first city exploration, and that soon, soon, when I'm old and strong enough to leave alone.
I'll be able to find this information I crave.
Apart from this and the discovery of my new room, this night was normal.
The night was normal and almost nothing changed.
My mom made sure to remove the mirror off my hands and put in on the weird box on the corner of my room, of course. But apart from this? Nothing has changed.
They showed me my room. And after that we ate, I tried to eat more of the soft meat my mom made for me.
Extra soft for my weak little teeth, and I managed it like a boss.
Ate on my father lap today.
He tried to give me a sip of whatever was in his mug, and I was ready to drink it all like a child finding the secret stash of tasty detergent under the sink, but my mother threw him a glare. And he apologized.
To me.
Told me I'll be able to drink when I'm older.
That was alcohol wasn't it?
Eh, whatever.
After this I played -trained- a bit more, and like usual, it was time for us to sleep. So my mom took me, and instead of taking me to their room, she put me in my new room and stayed around. Real close.
You know, that's really funny to see parents strategies when you're an adult.
SHE'S CLEARLY PROBING MY REACTION!
And that's why I went monk mode.
They looked inside my room looooots of time. Wondering if I'll cry or try to leave, or do anything that a normal one year old would do
I gave them a blank stare and went monk mode.
They didn't know how to react to that, so they reassured me.
And I knew how to react so I layed down, stared at the ceiling, and started my usual meditation while acting like I was asleep.
And to them, the whole room exchange was probably way better than they hoped.
But also way weirder.
I didn't even cried one time.
Well to be honest, since I started mastering my pain with meditation, I kind of stopped crying altogether.
Well, I didn't STOPPED STOPPED yet, sometimes, when I'm meditating and I go too far, the pain is a bit too much and I go full crying before I can even stop myself.
But still. I more or less stopped crying.
So here am I. Laying down in my crib, acting like I'm asleep while my father is looking down at me.
It's the morning right now, I woke up earlier than usual because I went to bed...earlier, because of the whole new room and monk mode stuff.
And now, it's morning. The sun shining through my window.
And my dad is staring down at me like a stalker.
Weird.
....anyway when is he gonna pick me up already? It's time for my STORY of the day!
I almost want to waka up an-! Did he just left?
I open my eyes and look at the door. Closed, my father left.
What?
Uhhh, did he thought I was sleeping in peace or something?
Urgh, do I need to cry to get them to pick me up again? Or maybe I could...finally experiment with some things now that I have privacy?
An evil smile that must look adorable on me spreads on my face.
Yes...maybe it's finally time t-!
Another door opens.
What?
I can hear some muffled talking, was this the front door? Did aunt and Kiko came today?
Well, in that case.
I fall back in my crib again, dig myself deeper in the blankets and close my eyes. I take a deep breath, and try to get as much meditation time as possible before they get me out of the room.
So I do it.
I suffer through the pain for one minute, two, three, four, five...at six minutes I starts to wonder what the fuck is happening.
And at seven minutes the muffled sounds outside my door is loud enough for me to hear a voice I don't like.
And unfortunately, it's not Kiko. No, it's someone I really don't like
That weird grandfather guy. "Can-#- #&#-" the rest of the sentence is too low for me to hear.
I do hear my father answering him though "Not in the house"
WHAT!? WHAT NOT IN THE HOUSE!? WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT'S HAPPENING!?
I push myself on my kneees, grabbing the bars of my crib and leaning forward to try and hear more.
But no luck.
I can hear it, more muffling. More movement. There's a smaller and weaker voice in there too, sounds like my mother.
But I can't decipher what they're saying.
After two good minutes. I hear the sound of a door being slammed shut.
And then. Silence.
Just like that.
I look around my room, my small dingy little room, but it's still my room.
As my parents, five minutes later, come to pick me up like nothing happened. I start wondering if there's a hidden reason why I got a bedroom that early.