"Yes, I'm poor"
That's a weird thing to say out loud, but I've been raiding the cupboards for dry biscuts to fuel my baby body for a year straight, and my mom sells her body while I sleep to keep us afloot.
I think I can say that I'm poor.
Maybe I should play the pity card?
Would it work?
"Well...everyone is poor"
"Wise words woman"
She recoils away from me. Her chair sliding back again as she looks at me as if I were an alien, wait, am I an alien? Well, I think I'm in Japan right now.
So no. I'm a time traveler, basically the same thing, they don't have guns around here.
"Weird kid"
"I heard you"
"I know"
How the fuck do I answer that?
We glare at each other. Her because she lost her source of money, and me because I don't know how to answer.
She breaks the staring contest first. "Why did you called me woman?"
"Because you're a woman"
Another tsk "I know this, but it's weird to say it like that kid"
"Why?"
"Because..." Her lips pops but nothing comes out of her mouth, instead she push herself closer to the counter and raise a finger. As if she was ready to give me a dozen reasons why it's weird.
But at my innocent glare she gives up. Sigh, relax her shoulders and wave me off "Doesn't matter. Just call me Okari"
"Okay!"
And then we're again in an impasse. The impasse of the deadly and awkward silence, the one that encompass every single inch of our beings.
Okari, looks at her right, at the shelves with books. Then at me again.
She whispers something that sounds like "why are you poor?"
Before talking out loud again.
"Why do you want a book?"
"To figure out how to read."
She slams her hand on the counter and curl her upper body on it, resting her head in her arms and whispering something that sounds like "I'm a &##&# of #&##"
Waaaaait? Did the pity card worked? Is it really working?
Now fully aware of the potential to get a book without breaking in during the night or something, I stand still, and give her my cutest smile.
Pure. Innocence.
Look at my face card and break. Woman.
She lifts her head up again to look at me, after two seconds, she asks another question.
"Why do you want to learn how to read?"
"Because my papa doesn't teach me anymore."
She raises a single eyebrow at that, sliding her upper body on the counter to get closer to me "Oh, he doesn't, why?"
"He's too busy drinking and hitting mom!"
She slams her hand on the counter and curl up again. This time I figure out what she's whispering by the context "I'm a piece of shit"
I let her bathe in her suffering for a while before she finally pushes herself up again.
"Okay. Okay...that's...great. You're trying to learn, that's good, do you know what you want to do in the future?"
"Survive!"
She slams her hand on the counter and the routine continues.
I'm sure she whispers more self demeaning stuff, but I don't listen to them. Let her bathe in her misery alone, I'm a child, learning bad words isn't for someone with a pure heart like me.
I do my absolute best to keep my innocent and cute smile in the cute range. It would be a shame if it went to the devious range like earlier.
When she gets up again, well, gets up. She more or less sit normally, she doesn't say anything.
Instead, she just stares at me, take a big breath. And push herself off her chair.
"Stay here kid"
She leaves me alone in the room. She doesn't go out and outside, no, instead, she passes her chair. And do a beeline toward a pretty small door that's behind her counter.
When she opens it, I try to see what's inside but I don't manage. It's almost fully dark.
She coughs for a second, waving her hand in front of her face and gets inside. Soon enough, a light shines the room, a lamp inside banishing the dark.
Giving me the perfect opportunity to see what's inside.
A room, almost like a cellar, there's a lot of dust around. But most importantly, there's boxes, a lot of boxes filled with books.
The girl dissapears from my sight as she turns to the left and deeper into the room.
Giving me the perfect opportunity to snoop around.
Without even an OUNCE of hesitation, I tiptoe toward the shelves. Using all the ninja training I got while sneaking around home to avoid my parents.
Well, there's still some sounds, of course, but I'm damn good at being sneaky.
At the same time. I eye the open room, and perk my ears to hear any sound. I hear some stumbling, a mumbled insult, and some box moving and searching.
My hands snake forward, I grab a book, another one, I got three in my hands when I hear footsteps coming back.
I tiptoe in front of the counter again as I hide the books in the inside pockets of my cloak.
I stay there, standing politely and bouncing up my heels with a wide smile. Like an excited and innocent kid.
I don't need to fake the excited part.
MUAHAHAHAHA I GOT THREE BOOKS! MUAHAHAHAHAHHA!
I have no idea what they are about, or if I can even read them, but I got them!
The woman steps out of the side room, turn off the light and close the door hard while coughing around.
"Urgh, never again"
She comes back to her counter all while dusting off a weird book. When it's done, and she finished blowing out the dust away, she throws it on the counter in front of me.
"Alright kid" Grabbing her chair, she slumps into it and drag herself closer to her side of the counter.
"This" she points at the book. "Is an image book"
I nod at her, bouncing forward until I can hold the counter with both hands. She pushes the book closer to me, and opens it, it's a pretty big book. But it's filled with images.
"I don't know how good you're at reading yet. But, you're going to take that book, look at the images, read as best as you can, and if you manage to figure out most of the story."
She grabs the book and start gesturing at herself with it "You can come back, give it back. And I'll give you another book okay?"
I nod as fast as I can "Yes!" Both of my small hands gripping the counter edge.
"Good. Here" She hands me the book and I grab it so fast I can feel the air moving, hugging the book I try to get myself future advantages while being as cute as possible
"Thanks you Miss Okari!" I give her the smile that usually makes the old people staring badly at me mellow out.
And predictably, she mellows out, waving me off again. "That's nothing, leave now, adults have things to do"
Things like sleeping? I don't say that out loud, instead keeping my smile on my face and turning around to run away with my new four books.
"Thanks you again Miss Okari, goodbye!"
"Goodbye kid" she slumps on her seat, and before I can leave she says something else. "Wait"
My entire body go still as I grab the doorknob, slowly, I turn around to look around, a tilt on my head.
Does she knows?
"This place around the city is fine, you can have fun there. But don't go deeper in the city, stay as far away from the #&#&#& as you can, got it?"
I give her two big nods "I know! My parents warned me about it already!"
She nods but stop to frown instead "Didn't you said you didn't know the word?"
"I still don't" I lift my hand and point to the left, far to the left. Past the playground "But you're talking about what's past the playground right?"
She nods "Yes, don't go there okay?"
I give her one serious nod, as much as I can be serious with a baby body "Yes ma'am!"
She waves me off for good "Yeah yeah, be careful"
I open the door, and leave, staying under the little roof extension for long enough to open my cloak and put this new book in my big inside pockets with the other books.
Well fuck.
I look up at the sky, still raining.
Putting my hands in my pocket, I tighten my cloak and start walking away from the library.
I was planning on comparing how sad of a birthday this was compared to my first, but, I'm being blessed today. What's this luck?
Well, I finished my plan faster than I thought. And I still have the money my mom gave me.
Should I go back home after buying something to eat?
Or....
I stop in the middle of the street and look at the right turn.
The right turn that leads to the playground.
I look past the playground.
Maybe I should visit kiko? It's been a year already.
Turning to the right, I leave, planning on going past the playground.