Love.
I always heard people talking about it like it's something that everybody should experience at least once in their lives.
They say that without love there is no youth,
without youth there is no life.
I never thought I'd feel this way.
But I cannot be mistaken,
I like Lisa.
The only problem is that I know nothing about making friends,
let alone a girlfriend.
Brushing teeth
"Hm, what should I do?"
AAAHHH!
Damn it, that startled me!
Who is screaming like that this early in the morning?
Turns out the screams came from my mom
"HONEY! ALEXIS IS WALKING, HE'S WALKING!"
Oh, it's Alex again.
I figured this would happen sooner or later.
Alexis is 2 months old, but he grows much faster than any other baby.
He already said his first words
and is probably around 70 centimeters in height…
Yep, he's freaking huge.
I came out of the bathroom to see it for myself.
"Damn, he really is walking!" I said.
My mom was already taking pictures
while my dad followed Alex closely to make sure he didn't fall.
"Gihihi~, Mama!" said my brother while stumbling toward my mom.
"KYAAAAH~"
Collapses from joy?!
"Hey Anissa, are you alright?" said my dad.
"H-he called for me!" she replied.
"Gahaha~" said my brother while holding my mother's arm.
That little guy sure knows how to make my parents happy.
I mean, I was an early talker too,
and they didn't seem to make such a big deal out of it,
according to my uncle.
And no…
I'm definitely not jealous…
As I thought this,
I saw Alex looking at me with a victorious smile.
"This kid!…"
I'll get my revenge one day!
...
First period will start soon.
Everyone was already in class talking with their friends.
I don't have people I can call friends in my class,
while Lisa and Malik are both in class A.
I wonder what they're doing right now…
...
Hmm, Johan is in class C…
I wonder how he's doing.
We can't see each other very often…
Malik is always focusing before class starts.
When he's studying, it's almost like he's in a world of its own.
"Ahh—I'm bored!" I said.
"You're bored? We can talk if you want!"
That's Lucas.
Lucas always sticks to me when Malik's not around.
I wonder why he does that,
because I'm clearly pushing him away every time.
It doesn't seem like he cares.
"Talk? About what?"
"Well, you know…
You've been spacing out lately.
Is there something going on in your mind?" he asked.
"Actually, yeah, there is."
"Oh, is it a boy you love~?"
"…Say, how do you know when you love someone?" I asked.
He seemed startled.
"W-well, you know…
you usually think a lot about him.
When you see him, your heart races,
and you smile when you're around him…"
Johan does make me smile,
and I do think a lot about him.
I don't feel my heart racing though.
"Hmm…"
"Huh, is someone on your mind, Lisa?
Who is it?" he said.
He almost looked sad when he asked me that.
Maybe he's hoping that I say his name.
"I don't know, I'm not sure," I replied.
That's the most neutral answer I could find,
and it's not like it's a lie either.
"Oh, okay.
Anyway, wanna eat at the cafeteria after class?—"
I was only half listening.
I looked at the clock,
hoping that class would finish soon…
...
"All right, class.
Before you go, make sure to write the homework.
I wrote it on the board because the school platform will be in maintenance for the whole week!
Have a great meal."
[Finish the exercises 10, 11, and 12 from page 78 of the mathematics manual by Thursday]
I finished writing down the homework
and got up quickly.
"Move it, Malik!
We're going to be last at the cafeteria!"
"Yeah, yeah, quit nagging.
I'm going as fast as I can!"
"Urgh, I'm going without you!"
"Hey! Come on, I'm almost—"
His voice faded away
as I rushed through the corridors.
My high school has over 5000 students,
so when lunchtime comes,
it's hard to find a seat when you're late.
Pant, pant
"Uff… I came too late…"
"Looks like there's no more space left!"
"Ack—" I was startled.
"When did you get there?!"
"Oh hi.
You run pretty slowly, you know?" said Malik.
"Whatever,
let's just take our trays and find another place to sit…"
"Oh, let's just eat at my secret spot then!" said Malik.
"What?
You have a secret spot?"
"Well, it's actually Johan's.
He's probably there as we speak."
"Okay, let's go then!"
...
After walking for a while,
Malik stopped in front of a room
and knocked before entering.
"Oh, hello Malik.
I'm guessing there wasn't any space left down there, huh?" said Johan.
He was sitting on a sofa
with his tray on his knees.
"Yeah, there wasn't, you genius!" said Malik.
"Oh, and hello, Laura.
I didn't think you'd be here at that hour," he added.
"I had something to say to Johan…
But more importantly, who is this?" she said.
"Uh, w-well, I'm—"
"Laura, don't look at people like that!
She's my friend!" said Johan.
"Yeah, whatever, Han.
I'm done eating anyway,
and I already told you everything," she said.
Han?
Did she just call him by a nickname?
How close are they?
I thought Johan didn't talk to anyone else but Malik.
And she's a girl too!?
She bumped into me with her shoulder as she left.
"Why are you standing in the way?"
"Hey, what the hell is that girl's problem?" I said
"Don't worry, Lisa.
Laura can be a bit aggressive sometimes.
She's just wary of people who hang out with Johan," said Malik.
"So you were lying all along, huh?" I added
At that moment,
I was blinded by anger
and lashed out at him.
"Lying?
Lying about what—"
"All this time,
you lied about being asocial!
Did you do this so you could get a bit of attention?
Was this your intention all along?"
"You always sit alone when you're in public,
but when nobody's looking,
you hang out with girls, huh?
And why am I the only one
who doesn't know about her?
Did you guys hide it from me on purpose?!"
They remained silent.
So I thought I was right.
"Who is she to call you by nicknames like that?
Is she your girlfriend?"
I stopped.
Johan wasn't looking at me anymore.
His head was down.
...
I made him cry…
"-hic"
"Hey man, no need to cry.
It's alright," said Malik.
"What the heck?
Are you trying to make me the bad guy here—"
I stopped.
Malik turned his head toward me.
He looked serious.
"Lisa… his girlfriend?
What are you talking about?
That's his cousin."
"C-cousin?
But why didn't he tell me?"
Johan was still crying.
"Lisa,
Johan has a hard time whenever he tries to talk to people.
He rarely opens up,
even to me.
Maybe he just didn't find the occasion to tell you yet."
"B-but—"
"Why do you think he's an attention grabber?
And why would it be any of your business
if he talks to people you don't know?"
"I'm sorry…"
"You should stop making assumptions like that, Lisa.
That was not right," he said.
"Come on, Johan.
Let's go wash your face."
I moved aside as they left the room.
...
Damn…
I think I messed up.
How the hell am I going to get him to trust me after that?
...