"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!"
With a screech that could shatter eardrums—a cry laced with a heavy-metal vibrato—the legendary Thunder Rooster moved. Its azure feathers snapped upright like a thousand high-voltage needles. The entire bird transformed into a streak of blinding blue lightning, dragging a cyclone of ozone and scorched air as it aimed straight for... Xiao Yu's lower half.
"Here it comes! Shift 30 degrees to the left, prepare for a sliding step, and execute a perfect side-dodge—"
Xiao Yu's gaze was sharp, reflecting a cold, "I've got this" confidence. Inside his mind, his [Ultra-Low Frame Rate Mode] was in full swing. Everything around him became viscous and slow. In his consciousness, he had already performed a graceful backflip, even finding time to give the chicken a look of artistic disdain while in mid-air.
However, reality promptly slapped him in the face.
Brain (High-End RTX 4090 GPU): "Move! Sidestep! Counterattack! This is your chance for a Pentakill!"Body (Antique 10-Year-Old CPU): "Sorry, signal not found... Command packet lost... System has Blue-Screened due to low specs. Attempting to reboot by tripping over left foot..."
RIIIIIP—!
The rooster was like an electric chainsaw, roaring past Xiao Yu's thigh. Instead of dodging, Xiao Yu's body failed to keep up with his mind. His center of gravity collapsed, and he performed a "Graceful Falling Goose" maneuver—landing his backside precisely into a pile of smoldering chicken manure.
Worse yet, his cotton pajamas, which proudly bore the words "REFUSE TO WORK OVERTIME," were baptized by the lightning. Half the fabric vanished in a puff of smoke.
"Xiao Yu! Your butt is out!" Mia shouted from behind the stone mill, waving her small fists. Her ruby-red eyes sparkled with excitement—it was unclear if she was cheering him on or just reporting the live news. "It's so white! Like a giant patch!"
"Shut up! This is battle damage! It's a medal of honor!"
Xiao Yu hissed in pain. Just as he was about to pull his backside out of the manure, the rooster showed zero sportsmanship. It flapped its wings, taking flight once more, its claws kicking like a rapid-fire sewing machine, each strike sparking with electricity.
Zap! Crackle! Pop!
In the middle of the yard, Xiao Yu was forced to perform a "Soul Disco."
It was a heartbreaking sight. He was electrocuted until smoke drifted from his pores. Under the repeated assault of the current, his messy hair evolved from a "Sea Urchin" into a "Burnt Black Marshmallow," even emitting a faint scent of caramel. His "Refuse to Overtime" pajamas were officially done for, hanging off him like tattered black silk ribbons dancing in the wind.
"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!" (Translation: Trash! This is the price of refusing overtime! Accept your 'Blessing'!)
"You damn beast... I've survived on tap water and all-nighters. You think I'll let a chicken bully me?!"
Though Xiao Yu was being tortured to the brink of death, his "dead-fish eyes" remained locked on the rooster's every move. Through the repeated scans of his slow-motion mode, he caught a fatal detail: Every time the bird fired off its "Ultimate Move," the blue glow on its comb dimmed for exactly one second.
That was its generator "recharging"!
"Mia! Its circuit breaker tripped! GO NOW! If you don't move, you're never eating fried chicken again!"
Xiao Yu mustered every last drop of his pathetic strength. He performed a "Leaping Tiger" pounce—though to onlookers, it looked more like a "Starving Dog's Lunge." Using the scorched remains of his pajama sleeve, he seized the gap in the rooster's recharge and wrapped it tightly around the bird's neck.
"COCK?!" The rooster panicked, its feathers puffing out as it discharged its remaining power.
Xiao Yu's eyes rolled back, and his body vibrated like a high-speed industrial sieve, but he did not let go. The Divine Fruit hadn't leveled him up, but it seemed to have modified his cells, giving him a bizarre, "dead-pig-isn't-afraid-of-boiling-water" level of resistance.
"Take this—CRAZY DOG CHARGE!"
On the side, Mia had gone completely feral. For the sake of her dream fried chicken, she abandoned her last bit of elegance. With a shrill cry, she lowered her head and slammed into the rooster's stomach like a small cannonball. Two "trash" tier adventurers with a combined Stamina of less than 10 and one pedigreed rooster tumbled into the mud in a chaotic mess of feathers and dust.
A moment later, the dust settled.
"...Cluck... cluck..." The rooster let out a desperate, muffled groan. It had finally been tied into a "King Crab" bundle by Xiao Yu, using the shredded remnants of his pajamas.
Aunt Nora slowly poked her head out from behind the stone mill, staring at the carnage in disbelief.
Xiao Yu, who had at least looked human before the fight, now had nothing but a few black strips of cloth hanging from his shoulders. His "critical areas" were barely covered by a messy clump of dry grass and chicken feathers. As for the "Refuse to Overtime" shirt, it was so badly damaged that only the word "ADD" (加) remained stuck to his belly, radiating a peak level of irony.
"Young man..." Aunt Nora swallowed hard. "I've lived sixty years, and this is the first time I've seen someone catch a chicken by going nearly naked. Isn't the cost... a bit too high?"
"Ma'am..." Xiao Yu shuddered, exhaling a thick cloud of black smoke. His right hand trembled as he held up two fingers. "Two buns... one porridge... two salted duck eggs. Not a single one missing. I traded my dignity for this..."
"And!" Xiao Yu suddenly turned red, pressing his legs together. "Can I borrow an apron? I feel a bit... breezy down there..."
Meanwhile, Mia was hugging the heavy, occasionally twitching Thunder Rooster, her eyes glowing like green searchlights. "Should we go back to the guild to trade for buns, or should we just slaughter this generator right now and roast it?"
Xiao Yu's stomach let out a thunderous roar, so loud it felt like it would snap his ribs.
[System Log: Detected flesh containing trace amounts of Lightning Origin.][System Evaluation: Terrible appearance, but extremely high nutritional value. Immediate consumption is recommended. This will accelerate the integration of the host's 'GPU' (Visual Nerves) and 'CPU' (Neural Transmission).]
That was the System's greed howling—Xiao Yu knew that by eating this bird, his trashy body would finally experience its first real "Power-Up" since transmigrating!