Mika stared at her phone, the screen lighting up her dark room, but there were no new messages.No "Are you okay?"No "I'm sorry."Just silence that felt louder than anything else.She typed, "Can we talk?" then stared at it for a few seconds before deleting it.She typed again, "I miss you," then deleted that too.Finally, she locked her phone and placed it beside her, turning her face toward the wall. "Why do I always have to be the one to fix everything?" she whispered quietly.
The next morning, her eyes felt heavy and dry, but she still went to school, because staying home meant thinking, and thinking meant everything would get worse."Hey…" San's voice came from behind as he walked up beside her, slower than usual."Hi," Mika replied softly."You didn't sleep," he said, looking at her carefully."Was it that obvious?""Yeah," he said. "Your eyes… they don't just look tired, they look… empty."Mika forced a small smile. "I'm fine."San didn't smile back this time. "You don't have to say that every time."Mika looked down. "If I don't say it… then what do I say?"San didn't answer immediately. "Skip class with me," he said suddenly.Mika blinked. "What?""Just for today. You need a break.""I can't," Mika shook her head. "I already feel like I'm falling behind.""You're already falling apart," San said before stopping himself.There was a small silence."Sorry… I didn't mean it like that," he added quickly.Mika shook her head slightly. "No… you're right."San looked at her, something unreadable in his eyes, but he didn't say more. "At least eat something," he said quietly.Mika nodded, even though she knew she wouldn't.
The classroom felt suffocating, voices blending together, the teacher speaking but none of the words staying in her mind."Mika, answer the question."She froze. "I… I don't know.""You're not paying attention again," the teacher said.A few students laughed softly.Mika lowered her head. "I'm sorry."But she didn't know who she was apologizing to anymore.
After class, she walked quickly to the washroom, locking herself inside.She looked at her reflection in the mirror, her eyes red, her face pale."Who even are you anymore?" she whispered.Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes, and she quickly covered her mouth to stay quiet. "I'm trying… I really am… so why is it never enough?"She slowly slid down against the wall, sitting on the cold floor, her knees pulled close.No one saw.No one heard.And that hurt more than anything.
"Mika?" a voice came from outside.She froze."Mika, are you in there?" it was San."I'm fine!" she said quickly, wiping her face."You've been in there for a while," he said.Silence."I'm not leaving," San added quietly.That broke something inside her.She stood up slowly and opened the door.San looked at her, and for once, he didn't smile. "You're crying," he said softly."I'm not," Mika replied weakly."You don't have to lie," he said.Mika looked down as tears started again. "I don't know what's wrong with me… everything feels too much… I can't fix anything… I'm losing everyone."San stepped closer, hesitating before placing his hands lightly on her shoulders. "You're not losing everyone.""I lost Akira," Mika whispered. "And him… and I think I lost myself too."San's hands tightened slightly. "You didn't lose yourself… you just forgot how to see yourself."Mika shook her head. "I don't understand anything anymore."San went quiet for a moment, like he wanted to say something more, something important, but he didn't."I'm here, okay?" he said instead. "I'm not going anywhere."Mika looked at him. "Promise?"San smiled, but this time it looked different, softer, almost sad. "I promise."
Later, Mika sat in the library, staring at her open book without reading a single word."You look exhausted," Leo said as he sat across from her."I am," Mika replied honestly."What happened?"Mika hesitated, then slowly told him everything, about Akira, the fight, the silence, how everything felt like it was breaking."I feel like I'm falling apart," she admitted.Leo listened quietly, then said, "Then let yourself fall apart."Mika looked at him, confused. "What?""You're trying too hard to hold everything together," he said calmly. "Some things need to break before they can be understood.""But it hurts," Mika whispered."I know," Leo replied. "But ignoring it won't make it disappear."Mika looked down. "I don't feel strong.""You don't have to be," Leo said. "Not right now."There was a quiet pause."For now, just don't run away from how you feel."Mika nodded slowly.
That night, Mika lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, her room completely silent.She didn't check her phone.She didn't open old messages.She just stayed still as tears rolled down her face."I think I'm really breaking this time…" she whispered.And for the first time, she didn't try to stop herself.