Once my internal radar—highly amplified by the frantic, flashing red warnings of System 888—finally confirmed that the local mob was no longer hot on our heels, I let out a breath so loud it probably scared the local wildlife.
*Sigh.*
We had officially made it into the dense, slightly ominous forest framing the city's outskirts. Following the digital GPS coordinates lazily pinged into my brain by System 888, I navigated through the thick brush until the soothing sound of rushing water echoed through the trees.
A river! A beautiful, clean, non-murderous river.
I carefully set the girl down on a smooth patch of grass near the bank.
The poor kid was still shaking like a leaf in a hurricane, her knuckles white and her breathing shallow.
I stood back, catching my own breath, and took a proper look at her for the very first time. Back in the marketplace, my vision had been entirely obscured by panic, giant swords, and an oversized human tomato. Now that the adrenaline was draining from my system, I blinked in surprise.
*Wait a minute...*
With her squinted, expressive eyes, a button-like nose, long black hair tied neatly into a braid, surprisingly soft pale skin, and small pink lips, she looked like an absolute dead ringer for my granddaughter from my previous life.
She was small, cute, and completely out of place in a ruthless, dog-eat-dog cultivation world.
A wave of profound, elderly protectiveness washed over me. I totally forgot for a second that I was currently trapped in the body of a scrawny sixteen-year-old beggar.
"Are you alright, little one?"
I asked, my voice instinctively dropping into a gentle, soothing grandfatherly cadence.
She looked up at me, blinking away a stray tear, and gave a hesitant, fragile nod.
I offered her a warm, benevolent, wrinkled-old-man smile.
It was a beautiful, heartwarming gesture in my mind, but then I remembered my current physical reality.
I was covered in soot, dirt, marketplace grime, and sweat. A gentle grandpa smile on a filthy, ragged teenager probably just looked like a serial killer plotting his next move.
*Hey, at least I'm trying here! Cut me some slack, universe!*
"Don't you worry about a thing," I comforted her, keeping my voice soft to lessen her anxieties.
"Those meatheads wouldn't follow us this far out into the wilderness. We are completely safe for now."
Seeing her shoulders visibly drop as she relaxed against a tree trunk, I mentally patted myself on the back. Excellent.
The grandpa tactics still worked, even if the face was decades younger and significantly crustier.
"What's your name, child?" I asked, taking a seat on a nearby rock.
"I'm Xiaofan," she said softly, her voice barely louder than the rustling leaves.
"It means 'little ordinary.' I'm fourteen."
"I'm Xiu Liang," I replied, pointing a thumb at my chest. "It means 'beautiful and bright'—though looking at my current outfit, 'dusty and pathetic' might be more accurate. I'm sixteen.
"Now, Xiaofan, I just want to ask... why were those people genuinely trying to slice you into ribbons? I know it's not actually because of that crappy 'stepping on the Young Master's foot' excuse. No one deploys five armed guards with wind magic over a scuffed shoe."
Xiaofan's eyes widened slightly. She let out a long, heavy sigh, her small shoulders sagging.
"Because you saved my life... I will tell you the truth of what really happened."
I leaned forward, fully expecting a standard tragic backstory about a debt-ridden family or a stolen loaf of bread. Boy, was I wrong.
=====°°°°°
The Fourteen-Year-Old James Bond
"I have been working in a pleasure house since I was twelve years old," Xiaofan began, her gaze drifting to the flowing river.
My jaw dropped. *Twelve?!* This world really didn't have a child labor board, did it?
"But I wasn't one of the girls who sell their bodies for pleasure! NO!" she added hastily, her face flushing slightly.
"I was working there as a waitress. But the truth is... I'm not an ordinary waitress at all. I am a deep-cover spy for the Tang Family."
*...Excuse me, what?!*
"My job was to infiltrate the establishment, observe the corrupt nobles who frequented the private rooms, and relay their secrets to the right-hand man of General Tang Gong Weiyuan," she explained, her tone shifting from a frightened little girl to a seasoned operative.
"And for your information, General Tang's name means 'strong pressuring depth.' He is a very serious man."
I stared at her, my mind completely short-circuiting. A fourteen-year-old spy? Working for a guy named *Strong Pressuring Depth*? What kind of high-stakes, political thriller anime had I just stumbled into?
I thought I was in a generic fantasy world, not a historical espionage flick! She was smart, clever, and terrifyingly capable for a kid.
"Recently," Xiaofan continued, her voice dipping back into sadness, "I decided to completely cut off my ties with the spy network for personal reasons. But the Tang Family doesn't like loose ends. The moment I tried to leave, they staged that marketplace incident to have me publicly executed without drawing suspicion to their intelligence ring."
I looked at her with a profound mix of amazement, shock, and a sudden urge to find whoever the Creator of this world was and slap them with a dictionary.
"Wow," I breathed, shaking my head.
"That is... a lot for a fourteen-year-old. Look, Xiaofan, I won't pry any further into your spy business. But if you ever need to vent, or if you just want to talk about how absurd your life is, I will happily lend you my ears."
"Thank you, Big Brother Xiu Liang," she said, her eyes shining with genuine gratitude.
"Actually... I do have one request. Can you help me look for someone? It's the whole reason I left the network."
Before I could even open my mouth to reply, a loud, jarring sound echoed in my skull.
*Ping!*
[Hidden Mission Unlocked!]
**Mission Title:** Help the Little Spy Girl find her Mystery Person.
**Description:** Xiaofan has a secret quest, and since you've already broken the original plotline, you might as well keep going!
> **Rewards:**
> * 1,000 SP
> * 1x Basic Qi Condensation Manual
> * The eternal loyalty of a pint-sized James Bond.
> **Do you accept?**
> * [» YES]
> * [» NO]
*Well, it's not like I can just say no and leave her in the woods,* I thought. Plus, 1,000 System Points was a massive jackpot compared to the pennies I had left.
"Of course I will help you," I said aloud, giving her a reassuring nod.
Internally, I aggressively mashed the **[YES]** button on the holographic screen.
Xiaofan's face lit up with pure, unadulterated happiness. But just as she was about to thank me, a sudden, chilly gust of wind blew through the river canyon, making both of us violently shiver.
My thin, ragged clothes offered absolutely zero insulation against the approaching night.
"Brrr! Alright, structural priorities first," I said, rubbing my upper arms.
"I'm going to look for some dry planks, twigs, and firewood so we don't freeze to death. I'll also see if I can forage some fruits or berries so we actually have the strength for tomorrow's journey.
We will talk right after we clean ourselves up and get some food into our bellies. Stay right here, don't move, and if a giant magical beast shows up, scream very loudly so I can run away in a different direction!"
With that perfectly heroic declaration, I turned on my heel and trotted off into the underbrush, leaving a giggling Xiaofan behind.
=====°°°°°
The Foraging Fiasco
"System 888," I muttered under my breath as I kicked a rotten log in search of dry kindling.
"Are you going to help me find food, or are you just going to sit there and act like a glorified screensaver?"
**[Ding! System 888 is always ready to assist the Host! For the low, low price of 50 SP, I can activate the 'Botanical Scanner' for exactly five minutes! Would you like to buy?]**
"Fifty points just to look at bushes?! Are you out of your digital mind?!" I hissed, picking up a decent-sized branch.
"I can find berries on my own, thank you very much! How hard can it be? Red means sweet, blue means sour, and glowing purple means I'll see God. Standard video game logic."
**[System 888 advises the Host that 'standard video game logic' usually results in a very painful, undignified death by gastrointestinal explosion in a cultivation world.]**
"Your concern is noted and entirely ignored."
I spent the next twenty minutes gathering a respectable bundle of dry wood, stacking it neatly in the crook of my arm.
My Flash Speed skill didn't make me any stronger, but it did allow me to zip between trees at double the speed of an average human, turning a tedious chore into a quick workout.
As I searched, I stumbled upon a thick bush laden with plump, juicy, bright yellow fruits that resembled cross-bred mangoes and pears.
They smelled absolutely heavenly, sweet and fragrant enough to make my empty stomach let out a ferocious growl.
"Aha! See, System? No points required! Just pure, natural survival instinct," I gloated, plucking three of the fruits and carefully balancing them on top of my wood pile.
**[Ding! Detecting 'Golden Sun-Drop Fruits.' Grade: Low-Tier Mortal Spirit Fruit. Effects: Increases physical vitality, restores stamina, and tastes like liquid sunshine. Side effects: None. Huh. Well, look at that. The Host actually got lucky for once. I am almost disappointed.]**
"Ha! Sucks to be you, you capitalistic AI!"
Boasting my successful haul, I zipped back toward the riverbank using a quick burst of my Flash Speed. Within minutes, I was back at our makeshift campsite.
Xiaofan was sitting exactly where I left her, throwing tiny pebbles into the rushing water. When she saw me burst through the bushes carrying a small mountain of wood and bright yellow fruits, her eyes widened in awe.
"Wow, Brother Xiu Liang! You were so fast!" she exclaimed, rushing over to help me unload the cargo.
"It's all in the leg muscles, kiddo," I lied smoothly, dumping the wood into a neat pile.
"Alright, let's get this fire started. System, do I have a lighter in my inventory?"
**[No, Host. But you can buy a 'Mystic Fire-Starter Flint' for—]**
"I'll use two rocks and a dry leaf, shut up."
It took me a solid ten minutes of furious, sweat-inducing friction, a lot of blowing on glowing embers, and a fair amount of unholy cursing, but I finally managed to birth a beautiful, crackling campfire.
The ambient temperature immediately rose, casting a warm, comforting amber glow across the riverbank.
"Here, eat up," I said, handing two of the Golden Sun-Drop Fruits to Xiaofan while keeping one for myself.
She took a cautious bite, and her entire face instantly illuminated with joy.
"Mmm! It's so sweet! It feels like... warm energy is flowing into my chest!"
I took a bite of my own, and holy cow, the System wasn't kidding. It literally tasted like a perfectly ripe mango mixed with honey, and the moment it hit my stomach, the deep, aching fatigue in my muscles completely vanished.
My stamina bar felt like it had been instantly refilled to maximum.
"See?" I muttered internally to the void.
"Natural foraging. Zero SP spent."
**[Enjoy your temporary victory, Host. The plot works in mysterious, deeply frustrating ways.]**
=====°°°°
The Mysterious Target
After we had thoroughly cleaned the dirt off our faces and hands using the cool river water and finished our delicious fruit dinner, the atmosphere grew calm and quiet.
The crackling of the fire was the only sound breaking the silence of the forest.
Xiaofan stared into the flames, her expression turning solemn and mature once again.
"Alright, Xiaofan," I said, leaning back against a smooth boulder.
"We have food in our systems, we're warm, and the system—uh, the night is young. Tell me about this person you're looking for. What's their name? Do you have a location, a drawing, or maybe a very specific birthmark description?"
Xiaofan reached into the inner lining of her vest, pulling out a small, tightly rolled piece of parchment that had miraculously survived our high-speed escape.
She unrolled it carefully, revealing a beautifully drawn ink portrait.
I leaned in to look, expecting a rugged rogue or perhaps a missing relative.
Instead, the portrait depicted a remarkably handsome young man with sharp, aristocratic features, long silver hair, and a small, distinct crescent-moon scar right beneath his left eye.
He looked like the kind of guy who would accidentally start a cult just by walking down the street.
"His name is Lu Chen," Xiaofan whispered, her voice laced with deep reverence.
"He is known in the underworld as the 'Ghost Blade of the Northern Peak.' He used to be a high-ranking enforcer for a rival faction before he completely vanished a year ago."
"And why exactly are we looking for a guy named *The Ghost Blade*?" I asked, a cold sweat suddenly breaking out on the back of my neck.
"That doesn't sound like a guy who welcomes guests with tea and cookies. That sounds like a guy who cuts people into neatly diced cubes."
"Because he is my older brother," Xiaofan revealed, looking me straight in the eyes.
"The Tang Family told me he died during a mission execution, but during my last night at the pleasure house, I intercepted a secret cipher. He isn't dead. He's currently hiding in a small village three days' journey north from here, living under an assumed identity to escape the assassins."
*Ping!*
[Mission Update!]
> **Target Located:**
Lu Chen (The Ghost Blade)
**Location:**
Hidden Bamboo Village (3 Days North)
**Danger Level:**
Highly Questionable.
**Current Objective:**
Travel north without getting murdered by the Tang Family's leftover forces.
*Good luck, Host! You're definitely going to need it!*
I stared at the glowing blue screen, then at the portrait of the silver-haired anime assassin, and finally at the innocent, hopeful face of the fourteen-year-old spy girl sitting across from me.
"Three days north, huh?" I sighed, running a hand through my messy hair.
"Well, I suppose a road trip is exactly what we need to get away from the Pig Master and his five goons."
"Thank you, Brother Xiu Liang!" Xiaofan beamed, her eyes crinkling into that cute, familiar shape that reminded me so much of home.
"I knew you were a great hero the moment you stepped in front of me in the marketplace!"
*A great hero? Kid, I literally bought a skill specifically designed to let me sprint away from danger at double the speed of sound.*
But looking at her happy smile, I couldn't bring myself to ruin the illusion.
I guess if I was going to be stuck in this crazy, illogical cultivation world with a useless System and a broken plot, playing the role of a heroic big brother wasn't the worst way to spend my time.
"Alright, get some sleep," I said gently, throwing another log onto the fire.
"Tomorrow, we start our journey to the Hidden Bamboo Village. And System?"
**[Yes, Host?]**
"Don't wake me up unless the forest is actively on fire."
**[Understood! Setting alarm for 'Slightly Singed.' Goodnight, Host!]**
With a final chuckle at my AI's absolute absurdity, I closed my eyes, letting the warmth of the fire and the gentle rushing of the river lull me into a deep, well-deserved sleep.
That was the official conclusion of our first day of doom, and honestly? We survived. That's a win in my book.