When I arrive at the scene, my very first, deeply profound, intellectual instinct is to turn around, run away, and pretend I never existed.
Wait! Hold on! Don't judge me, readers. I am a good person. A solid, upstanding citizen of whatever universe I've been dropped into. But let me ask you a perfectly logical question: when you see five absolute units of men—each built like a brick outhouse, boasting muscles that have muscles, and casually wielding massive, sharpened swords—isn't your immediate reaction to sprint in the opposite direction? Exactly. It's called biological survival, look it up.
**[Um. Host? You're just being a coward.]**
A gratingly cheerful, neon-bright voice echoed directly inside my skull.
"Why don't *you* try getting out here and helping me?!" I screamed back in my mind, dodging behind a conveniently placed wooden cart.
"I can't fight like this, okay? This body is weak! I feel like a breeze could knock me over, let alone five professional thugs!"
**[Oh! Silly me! I forgot to mention that you have a beginner's bonus of 2,000 SP (System Points) available!]** the System explained, sounding entirely too bubbly for an entity that had casually omitted life-saving information.
"Why you... absolute f*ck*r!" I shouted internally, my mental veins popping.
**[Host, I have generously opened the System Shop for you! You can now select a skill based on your current perilous situation and system level to help you survive your upcoming missions. Happy shopping!]** it piped up, completely unfazed by my profanity.
*Sigh.*
F*ck you system. F*ck it to the tenth power. What does this digital parasite think it's doing? Does it honestly believe I didn't notice the blatant, shameless topic change? I am a transmigrator, not an idiot!
Unfortunately, as much as I wanted to stand here and mentally lecture my malfunctioning AI, the five gargantuan men were starting to look around. I had a mission to finish, and more importantly, a life to save. My own.
"Give me the options, System. And make it quick."
The System Shop (Beginner Tier)
**[Host has three beginner skill choices available. Please review the options below:]**
__________________________________
Skill names and Category
**A. Flash Speed (2x)**
Passive/Active: Permanently doubles your movement and reaction speed. Perfect for tactical retreats. 500 SP
**B. Martial Arts**
Traditional combat mastery.
• *Taekwondo* (900 SP)
• *Karate* (1,200 SP)
• *Kung Fu* (1,800 SP) | Varies |
**C. Sword Technique (Lv. 1)**
*Fierce Slash*: Imbues your hands or a weapon with a sharp, cutting aura. 2,000 SP
__________________________________
I stared at the glowing blue holographic screen in absolute disbelief.
"The heck, System?! Are you scamming me? What are these extortionate prices?!"
**[I can't do anything about it, Host. The Creator programmed me this way, okay?]** it replied, its voice dripping with nonchalance.
Sh*t that Creator! May both sides of their pillow always be scorching hot!
I forced my racing mind to analyze the options. If I chose the Level 1 Sword Technique, it would cost every single point I owned. Plus, there was a glaring, highly logistical problem:
*I didn't have a sword.* What was I going to do, aggressively mimic a sword fight with a stray twig?
As for the Martial Arts, even if I downloaded the knowledge into my brain, this body was severely malnourished. Knowing how to do a flawless spinning hook kick doesn't mean much if your hamstrings snap the moment you try it.
That left option A. **Flash Speed 2x**. It was affordable, it didn't require external weapons, and honestly, running away at Mach 2 was the most honorable strategy available right now.
"System, I choose Flash Speed 2x. Confirm purchase!"
**[Understood, Host! Initiating skill integration. Please do not blink...]**
**[Processing: 1%... 10%... 50%... 100%... Integration complete!]**
A sudden, electric jolt shot through my calves, making my legs twitch. I felt lighter, like the ambient gravity of the world had just been dialed down. Excellent. At least now I could flee with dignity and velocity.
=====°°°°°
The Scene of the Crime
With my newly acquired speed humming in my veins, I peeked out from behind the wooden cart to assess the situation.
In the center of the bustling marketplace square, a young girl was crumpled on the dirt ground, sobbing hysterically. Surrounding her were the five armed thugs. Around them, a large crowd of townspeople had gathered.
It was a depressing microcosm of humanity: some onlookers watched with genuine pity, others with helpless sadness, a few with simmering anger, many with paralyzing fear, and a disgusting handful with pure, unadulterated entertainment.
And not a single soul was stepping forward to help. Disgusting.
"Please spare my life! *Sob... sob...*" the girl wailed, clutching her bruised arms.
"I didn't mean to step on the Young Master's foot! *Sob...*"
I nearly choked on my own saliva.
*Wait, what?!*
She was about to be executed in broad daylight just because she accidentally stepped on some rich kid's foot? Are these people clinically insane, or is this "Young Master" just the most fragile snowflake to ever exist in the history of the multiverse?
Can't he endure a tiny bit of pressure on his toes? It's a foot, not a landmine! You don't die from getting your shoes scuffed!
A hot flash of righteous fury burned away the remnants of my cowardice.
Even though my knees were still trembling, I took a deep breath, built up every ounce of courage I could muster, and marched right past the crowd, planting myself firmly in front of the crying girl.
A collective, audible gasp echoed through the marketplace. The onlookers looked at me as if I had just volunteered to be fed to a wood chipper.
I glared at the five massive men. They paused, momentarily stunned by the sheer audacity of a scrawny kid interrupting their power trip.
"You stinky beggar," one of the thugs sneered, pointing his massive broadsword at my chest.
"What do you think you're doing? If you don't move right now, you shall perish right along with her!"
I didn't look at the thug. Instead, my eyes drifted past him to the VIP seating area where the mastermind of this circus was lounging.
The "Young Master" they were so desperately trying to curry favor with was a spectacularly round individual.
He was dripping in expensive silks, jade rings, and gold chains, but let's be real—if he weren't dressed like a noble, you'd mistake him for a prize-winning pig at a county fair.
A reckless, beautiful thought popped into my head. If I was going to risk my life, I might as well get some quality insults in.
"All of you are acting like animals," I declared loudly, projecting my voice so the whole square could hear.
"Actually, scratch that. You're not human—you're just a bunch of piglets following around a giant pig!"
When I said the word *pig*, I locked dead eyes with the Young Master.
The silence that followed was deafening. You could have heard a pin drop on the dirt road. The Young Master's face slowly morphed from smug arrogance to a deep, vibrant, furious shade of crimson.
He looked like an overinflated tomato about to burst.
A second later, a few brave souls in the crowd erupted into sudden laughter. But the amusement died instantly when the human tomato screeched at the top of his lungs.
"SHUT UP!!!!" the Young Master roared, fat rolls vibrating with rage.
"Kill them! Kill them both! You absolute wastes of space, you will die right now!"
=====°°°°°
Run for Your Life
The four closest thugs didn't hesitate. They raised their weapons, their eyes locking onto me with murderous intent.
*Oh, boy. I may have overplayed my hand.*
I had absolutely zero combat power right now. I couldn't block a sword with my bare hands, and I certainly couldn't reason with men whose biceps were larger than my head. There was only one viable option left on the table.
Without asking for her consent, I scooped the crying girl up into a bridal carry. She was light, which was a blessing, but my noodle arms still strained under the sudden weight.
"Hold on tight!" I yelled.
Before the first sword could cleave through the air where my head had just been, I activated my skill.
*Whoosh!*
The world around me seemed to slow down as my legs kicked into overdrive. Flash Speed 2x was a beautiful, glorious thing. I tore out of the marketplace square like a startled cat, kicking up a massive cloud of dust that blinded the pursuing thugs.
"After him! Don't let them escape!" the thugs screamed, their heavy footsteps thudding against the earth as they gave chase.
I ran and ran, weaving through narrow alleyways, knocking over stacks of empty crates to create obstacles, and turning sharp corners at speeds that defied physics.
Yet, despite my doubled velocity, these guys were persistent. They knew the city layout better than I did, and the heavy clanking of their armor kept echoing right behind us.
*If I survive this,* I thought desperately, panting heavily as sweat poured down my face, *I am going to curse that System and its Creator to the tenth power! No, the twentieth power!*
=====°°°°
Meanwhile, in the System Void...
While Xiu Liang was running a marathon for his literal survival, carrying a traumatized civilian and questioning all of his life choices, the System was completely checked out, lounging comfortably inside its own digital dimension.
It was reviewing the plot matrix with an expression of profound, robotic amusement.
**[Huh. Why would the Creator give a bizarre mission like that to a beginner?]** the System thought cheerfully, tossing a virtual piece of popcorn into its nonexistent mouth.
**[According to the original script of this world, the Female Lead was supposed to be the one rescuing that girl and earning her eternal loyalty. Now the timeline is completely warped.]**
The System paused for a millisecond, hummed a digital tune, and stretched its code.
**[Oh well! Not my problem. In the first place, I don't really care what happens to the plot, as long as I get my daily energy recharge. Have fun running, Host!]**
And just like that, with a completely useless AI and a heavily modified plot, the curtain officially rose on the chaotic, terrifying doom of Xiu Liang.
=====°°°°°
The Alleyway Aerobics
"System!" I wheezed, my lungs burning like I had swallowed hot coals.
"Is there... *pant*... an option to upgrade... *pant*... my stamina?!"
**[Ding! Stamina upgrades are available in the Intermediate Shop, Host! You just need to unlock it by completing three Main Missions or accumulating 10,000 SP. You're doing great! Only 8,000 SP to go!]**
"I hate you," I gasped, executing a sharp left turn into what looked like a residential district.
"I hate you so much."
The girl in my arms had stopped crying, mostly because the sheer G-force of our escape had scared the tears right back into her tear ducts.
She was clutching my ragged shirt with a white-knuckled grip, her eyes wide with a mix of awe and sheer terror
.
"M-Mister..." she squeaked.
"They're gaining on us!"
I glanced over my shoulder. Sure enough, two of the five thugs had managed to cut through a parallel street and were now converging on our position. They were panting, their faces dark with fury, but their long legs covered twice the ground mine did.
"Hey! You little rat!" one of them bellowed, raising a hand. A faint, glowing light enveloped his palm.
*Wait. Hold on. Is that magic?!*
Before I could process the unfairness of a brute using supernatural powers, he threw his hand forward. A localized blade of wind sliced through the air, heading straight for my ankles.
"System, dodge protocols!" I screamed.
**[Activating kinetic assist!]**
My body suddenly jerked to the right with an unnatural, jerky motion, mimicking a glitching video game character. The wind blade slammed into the stone wall beside me, leaving a deep, clean gash in the masonry. Chunks of debris rained down, a few sharp pebbles scraping against my cheek.
"Are you kidding me?!" I yelled, my heart hammering against my ribs like a trapped bird.
"They have ranged attacks?! This is a beginner zone! Where is the balancing?!"
**[This is a cultivation world, Host. Please lower your expectations regarding workplace safety.]**
"Shut up and find me a hiding spot!"
Up ahead, the alleyway split into a dead end to the right and a crowded marketplace to the left. Going into the marketplace again meant risking innocent lives—or worse, getting trapped by the local authorities who clearly took bribes from the Pig Master.
I chose a third option. I looked up.
A series of wooden clotheslines stretched across the narrow gap between the two-story houses. Next to them was a stack of hay bale's left outside a stable.
It was cliché, it was incredibly risky, and it was probably going to hurt.
"Hold your breath!" I told the girl.
Using the momentum of my Flash Speed, I leaped onto the hay bale's, used them as a springboard, and launched us upward. For a terrifying second, we were completely airborne. My hands scrambled for purchase, catching the edge of a low-hanging tiled roof.
*Crack.*
A couple of tiles broke under the sudden impact, but the Flash Speed allowed me to scramble up onto the flat section of the roof before our gravity could pull us back down.
I pulled the girl up after me, pressing both of us flat against the warm clay tiles, completely hidden from the street view below.
A second later, the heavy thud of boots echoed directly underneath us.
"Where did they go?!"
"They were just here! How can a scrawny beggar run that fast?!"
"Search the perimeter! If we don't bring their heads back to the Young Master, he'll skin us alive!"
The voices gradually faded as the thugs scattered into the surrounding streets, their heavy footsteps growing distant.
=====°°°°°
A Moment to Breathe
I let out a long, shaky breath, collapsing backward onto the roof. My muscles felt like jelly, and my chest was heaving so hard it hurt. The girl sat up slowly, looking at me with a mixture of reverence and confusion.
"Thank you, Benefactor," she said, bowing her head so low it touched the roof tiles.
"You risked your life for a useless servant like me. I will never forget your kindness."
"Don't worry about it," I wheezed, waving a dismissive hand.
"I just... really hate bullies. Especially fat ones who think they own the streets."
"But... who are you?" she asked, her big brown eyes blinking innocently.
"Are you a hidden master from a great sect?"
I looked down at my tattered, dirt-streaked clothes, my bruised knuckles, and my complete lack of any cool weapons or spiritual aura.
"Yeah, sure," I muttered dryly. "I'm the Master of the Holy Art of Running Away. It's a very exclusive technique."
**[Ding! Side Mission Completed: Rescuing the Innocent Maid!]** The System's voice suddenly blared, accompanied by a festive fanfare of trumpets that made me wince.
**[Reward: 500 SP and 1x Mystery Low-Tier Elixir. Congratulations, Host!]**
Well, at least I got my investment back. I checked my current status in my head.
__________________________________
User Status Screen
* **Host:** Xiu Liang
* **Level:** 1 (Trash Tier)
* **Current SP:** 500
* **Skills:** Flash Speed (2x)
* **Inventory:** 1x Mystery Low-Tier Elixir
* **Current Condition:**
Exhausted, dehydrated, highly irritable.
_________________________________
"System, what does the Mystery Elixir do?" I inquired mentally.
**[It's a surprise! It could heal your fatigue, or it could give you temporary diarrhea to confuse your enemies! Would you like to consume it now?]**
"Absolutely not! Why would you even put that second option in a beginner's reward?!"
**[To keep life interesting, Host!]**
I blocked out the System's laughter and turned my attention back to the girl.
"Hey, what's your name? And do you have somewhere safe to go? Because those guys aren't going to stop looking for us."
"My name is Xiao Cui," she said softly, her shoulders drooping.
"And... no. I was a maid for a merchant house, but they fired me this morning because I accidentally broke a vase. I have no family left in this city."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. Great. Perfect. Not only was I a wanted man by the local mob, but I had also just acquired a dependent.
"Well, Xiao Cui," I said, forcing a reassuring smile onto my face. "It looks like we're both in the same boat. First rule of survival: we need to get out of this city before the sun goes down."
"I will follow you anywhere, Benefactor!" she declared, her eyes shining with newfound devotion.
I sighed internally. *Don't follow me too closely, kid. I have a feeling my luck is only going to get worse from here.*
=====°°°°°
The Plot Thickens (and Breaks)
While Xiu Liang was busy figuring out how to smuggle himself and a maid out of the city gates without being spotted, a completely different crisis was unfolding on the other side of town.
In a luxurious, hidden courtyard filled with blooming lotus flowers and expensive incense, a beautiful young woman in pristine white robes was standing near a pond.
She possessed an ethereal beauty, with sharp, intelligent eyes and an aura that screamed "Main Character."
This was Lin Xue, the destined Female Lead of this world.
According to the original laws of the universe, she was supposed to be walking through the marketplace today, witness the cruel treatment of Xiao Cui, step in with her peerless cultivation, humiliate the Young Master, and recruit the maid as her loyal confidante.
Instead, she was currently staring at her own hands, looking incredibly bored.
"Young Miss," her personal guard whispered, stepping into the courtyard.
"The carriage is ready for the market excursion."
Lin Xue sighed, waving her hand dismissively.
"Cancel it. I suddenly have a strange feeling that going to the market today would be completely pointless. Let's just stay home and practice my sword forms." The guard blinked, confused.
"But... you've been looking forward to that specific tea shop for weeks, Miss."
"I know," Lin Xue muttered, looking up at the sky with a faint frown.
"But it feels like someone just stole something that belonged to me. A very specific, minor destiny. It's probably nothing."
Back on the roof, Xiu Liang let out a massive sneeze.
"Achoo!"
"Are you alright, Benefactor?" Xiao Cui asked anxiously.
"Yeah," I mumbled, wiping my nose.
"Probably just an allergy to this world's ridiculous plot armor. Come on, the guards are shifting their positions at the western gate. It's time to move."
Using the cover of the evening shadows and the remaining duration of my Flash Speed, we slipped down from the roof and made our way toward freedom, completely unaware that the gears of fate had just been violently derailed by a coward with fast legs.