Chapter Twenty-five: Unexpected Meeting
Dginnie woke the following morning with a stiff neck, a headache, and the unpleasant sensation that she had forgotten something important.
She sat up.
Her eyes fell on the clock.
"Oh, no."
She was late.
Not catastrophically late, but late enough that she would have to abandon breakfast, dress in record time, and run if she wanted to reach her first class before the lecturer began.
She threw back the covers.
Then she noticed the glass of water beside her bed.
And the neatly arranged food on the small table.
And the notebook beside her pillow.
She stared at them.
She had not put any of those things there.
Her gaze shifted to the chair beside the bed.
Kael was sitting in it, dressed for the day, with one leg crossed over the other and his tail curled around the chair's base.
He looked up.
"Good morning."
Dginnie froze.
"Kael?"
"That is generally what people call me."
"What are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you to wake up."
"Why?"
"Because you fell asleep at your desk yesterday, missed an entire day of classes, ignored your messages, and frightened two perfectly respectable adults."
Dginnie blinked.
"Two?"
"Me and Advisor Merrow."
Her stomach dropped.
"Advisor Merrow was here?"
"Yes."
"You saw my notebook?"
Kael considered the question and showed a space between thumb and forefinger.
"A bit."
Dginnie closed her eyes.
She remembered her notebook.
She remembered writing his name.
She remembered the sentence she had crossed out and rewritten.
Her face warmed.
Kael's ears perked up.
"Something wrong?"
"No."
"You look very red."
"I'm late."
"That isn't an explanation."
"It's the explanation you're getting."
She scrambled out of bed.
Kael rose to his feet, but he did not try to stop her. He merely handed her the glass of water.
"Drink this first."
"I don't have time."
"You have time to drink water."
"Kael."
"Dginnie."
They stared at one another.
She took the glass.
He smiled.
"Good girl."
She nearly choked.
"Don't!"
His ears tilted forward.
"Why not?"
"Because you know perfectly well why not!"
"Do I?"
She pointed a finger at him, realised she was still holding the glass, and gave up on the argument.
Kael's tail swayed behind him.
He was enjoying himself far too much.
Dginnie drank the water, dressed, and gathered her things. She was halfway to the door when Kael held out a folded piece of paper.
"Your schedule for the day."
She looked at it.
"You made me a schedule?"
"Only for the things you need to catch up on."
She unfolded it.
The list included her missed lectures, the relevant recordings, a reminder to eat lunch, and a note advising her to stop studying when her eyes began to cross.
Dginnie stared.
"You wrote this?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because you seem to have difficulty remembering that you're a person when you find something interesting."
She wanted to argue.
Unfortunately, he was right.
She folded the paper and put it in her bag.
"Thank you."
Kael's expression softened.
"You're welcome."
For a moment, she looked as though she might say something else.
Then her gaze flicked towards the door.
"I really have to go."
"Then go."
She hurried out.
Kael watched her disappear down the corridor.
His tail swayed once.
-----
Dginnie made it to class with seconds to spare.
She spent the next several hours trying to concentrate on lectures while her thoughts repeatedly wandered back to the previous afternoon.
Had Kael read her notebook?
Of course he had.
Had he seen the part about him being the best prospective mate?
Almost certainly.
Had he seen the part where she had crossed out probably, then written it back?
She pressed her fingers to her forehead.
Wonderful.
She had spent weeks worrying about whether she could make a sensible decision about a matebond, only to leave her private deliberations lying open on a desk for Kael and Advisor Merrow to discover.
She was going to have to speak to him.
Eventually.
Preferably after she had worked out what she wanted to say.
The morning passed in a blur of lectures, notes, and increasingly desperate attempts to recover the material she had missed.
By lunchtime, she had almost convinced herself that the day was going well.
Then she received a message from the advisor.
[Please come to my office after your final class. Your compatibility session this afternoon has been cancelled.]
Dginnie stopped walking.
Cancelled?
She read the message again.
Her first thought was that one of the candidates had withdrawn.
Her second was that the university had decided she was no longer eligible to participate.
Her third was that something had happened because of her decision about Kael.
She typed a reply.
[May I ask why?]
The response arrived almost immediately.
[You are not in trouble. We need to discuss your situation privately.]
Which sounded even worse.
Dginnie spent the rest of the afternoon imagining possible disasters.
By the time she reached the Advisor Merrow's office, she had prepared explanations for at least six things she had not actually done.
The advisor opened the door.
"Come in, Dginnie."
Their expression was kind, but serious.
Dginnie sat down.
Advisor Merrow closed the door and took the chair opposite her.
"I want to begin by reassuring you that this is not a disciplinary meeting."
"That is reassuring."
"Is it?"
"Not particularly."
The advisor gave her a tired smile.
"Fair enough."
They folded their hands.
"Yesterday, you missed all your classes. You did not respond to messages. You were found asleep at your desk after spending most of the day researching beastman history and law."
Dginnie winced.
"I didn't mean to miss everything."
"I know."
"I started reading about the original population crisis, and then I found a reference to the old emergency laws, and I wanted to understand why they had been introduced. Then I found a legal commentary that contradicted the history I'd read, and..."
She trailed off.
Advisor Merrow waited.
Dginnie looked down.
"I lost track of time."
"Yes. We gathered that."
"I'm sorry."
"I accept your apology. But I would like you to understand why I am concerned."
Dginnie nodded cautiously.
Advisor Merrow opened a folder.
"I have reviewed your academic record. Your performance is excellent. Your entrance qualifications are in order, and your identity registration appears valid. However, there are significant gaps in your knowledge of basic civics, history, and reproductive law."
Dginnie felt her shoulders tense.
"I know."
"Do you?"
She looked up.
The advisor's tone was not accusatory, but the question unsettled her.
"I know I don't understand everything," she said. "That's why I've been researching it."
"And I am glad you are trying to understand. But some of the things you are researching are taught in elementary school."
Dginnie went very still.
The advisor continued gently.
"Every cub receives a basic education in these subjects. The aim is to ensure that young beastmen understand their legal rights, their responsibilities to their communities, and the historical circumstances that shaped our society."
"I see."
"Do you remember learning any of it?"
Dginnie looked at her hands.
She could not tell them the truth.
She could not explain that she had come from another world, that the assumptions underpinning her understanding of society were fundamentally different, or that her own childhood had followed an entirely different course.
She had spent so long trying to keep her head above water that she had never considered how strange her ignorance might appear to someone who knew nothing about her circumstances.
"I don't remember much," she said carefully.
Advisor Merrow studied her.
"Did you have difficulty attending school when you were young?"
Dginnie hesitated.
"Yes."
That much was true, even if the circumstances were not the same as the advisor imagined.
Advisor Merrow's expression softened.
"I thought so."
She did not press her for details.
Instead, they opened the folder and showed her a list.
"These are the subjects we need to cover. Not all at once, and not necessarily in a classroom. I would like you to work through them with Kael, since you have expressed an interest in becoming his mate. He can help you understand his clan's customs, while I will make sure you understand the relevant laws and protections."
Dginnie stared at the list.
There were more subjects than she had expected.
Basic clan structures.
Civic obligations.
Historical population crises.
Reproductive law.
Matebond registration.
Contract protections.
The legal distinction between mating, marriage, and parenthood.
The responsibilities of a registered mate.
The rights of cubs.
The authority of clan leaders.
The authority of the central government.
The rights of individuals who wished to refuse a proposed matebond.
Dginnie swallowed.
"This is a lot."
"Yes."
"How long do I have?"
"That depends on how quickly you can work through it. Some of these subjects are essential before you make a final decision about your matebond."
She looked up sharply.
"Does that mean you don't think I should choose Kael?"
"No. It means I want you to understand what you are choosing."
The advisor leaned forward.
"Dginnie, I am not trying to discourage you. Kael is a good male. He is considerate, intelligent, and unusually patient. I believe he would take your wellbeing seriously."
Dginnie looked down again.
The words settled somewhere deep in her chest.
"But," Advisor Merrow continued, "I cannot make this decision for you. Neither can Kael. You must understand the consequences, the protections, and the obligations involved. And you must be certain that you are choosing him because you want him, not because you are frightened of what will happen if you do not."
Dginnie was silent.
That was the question she had been trying to answer.
She had spent weeks comparing candidates, considering their temperaments, their circumstances, their contracts, and the ways they had treated her. She had weighed the security they offered against the demands they made.
But Kael had never been just another candidate.
He had been there when she was exhausted, frustrated, embarrassed, or overwhelmed. He had listened without making her feel foolish. He had teased her without making her feel small. He had given her room to make mistakes, and when she had asked for distance, he had given her that, too.
She missed him.
Not merely his help.
Him.
"I do want him," she said quietly.
Advisor Merrow watched her.
"Do you want to become his mate now?"
Dginnie hesitated.
"I think so."
"That is not quite the positive answer we are looking for."
"I know."
"Then we need to discuss what you mean by it."
Dginnie looked at the list again.
"What happens if I need more time?"
Advisor Merrow did not answer immediately.
"Officially, you still have several months before your deadline. Unofficially, the university's leadership is becoming impatient."
Dginnie's stomach tightened.
"Why?"
"Because they believe you have shown traits of rebellion against society and are debating whether what you have said or done is sufficient grounds for the mandatory reporting of a potential Rebel."
It felt like Dginnie's heart had dropped. She had heard of Rebels before and that Rebels were essentially criminals who sought to destabilise society. For a moment, she couldn't breathe.
"Are they going to report me?" she managed to get out in a breathless manner.
"I have been persuading them not to. I have pointed out that you have been attending compatibility sessions and that you have expressed interest in Kael. I have also argued that your circumstances may require more patience than the usual case."
"What if they stop listening?"
"Then I will continue to argue."
Advisor Merrow's voice was calm, but Dginnie could hear the determination beneath it.
"But I need you to understand something. If the university reports you, the authorities may investigate whether you are deliberately refusing your social obligations. I do not want you placed in that position. I do not believe you deserve to be treated as a criminal simply because you are struggling to understand the expectations placed upon you."
Dginnie stared at them.
For a moment, she could not speak.
She had expected a lecture. Perhaps a warning. Maybe another reminder that she had accepted a scholarship under certain conditions or that she had to do what the rules and law said.
She had not expected Advisor Merrow to defend her.
"Thank you," she said at last.
Advisor Merrow nodded, giving her a small, crinkled smile.
"You're welcome."
They slid the list towards her.
"Now, we need to establish your position. I will ask you several questions, and I want you to answer honestly. You do not need to tell me what you think I want to hear."
Dginnie took a breath.
"All right."
"Do you understand that a matebond is more than a way to secure your education or an internship?"
"Yes."
"Do you understand that registering with Kael would give him certain legal responsibilities towards you, and would also create responsibilities for you towards him?"
"Not all of them."
"Good. That is an honest answer."
The advisor made a note.
"Do you understand that his clan may expect you to participate in certain family and community obligations?"
"I think so."
"Do you know what those obligations are?"
"No."
"Then we will need to cover them."
Another note.
"Do you understand that forming a matebond does not mean you surrender your right to refuse any particular act, even within an established relationship?"
Dginnie looked up.
"I thought that depended on the species."
"Customs differ. Consent does not cease to matter because a relationship has been registered. You should never be told otherwise."
Dginnie's shoulders relaxed slightly.
"All right."
"Do you want to have cubs?"
The question caught her off guard.
She opened her mouth, then closed it.
"I don't know."
Advisor Merrow nodded.
"Another honest answer. You don't need to pretend certainty where you do not have it. But you must understand the expectations that may arise from a matebond, particularly within Kael's clan. You need to discuss those expectations with him before making a final decision."
Dginnie nodded slowly.
"Have you spoken to Kael about any of this?"
"Not properly."
"Then you need to."
"I will."
Advisor Merrow closed the folder.
"One more thing. I have cancelled today's compatibility session because I believe you need time to think, and because I do not want you being pushed into further meetings while you are trying to make this decision. I have reported that you are unwell and need a short period of rest."
Dginnie blinked.
"You told them I was sick?"
"I told them you were unwell. You were exhausted enough to fall asleep at your desk after neglecting your meals and missing a full day of classes. I am not convinced that description is inaccurate."
Dginnie could not argue with that.
"But you need to catch up on your missed lectures," the advisor added. "Some of the material will appear in your examinations. Kael has been instructed to remind you."
Dginnie covered her face with one hand.
"He did. He has."
"And he has offered to help you study."
Dginnie lowered her hand.
Something warm and uncomfortable moved through her chest.
"He did?"
"Yes."
She stared at the folder.
The advisor waited until she looked up again.
"Dginnie, I want you to think carefully about the life you want. Not just the next few months, and not just the consequences of missing a deadline. Think about what you want your future to look like. Think about what kind of relationship you want, what sort of family you might want, and what you need in order to feel safe."
Dginnie nodded.
"And think about whether Kael is the person with whom you want to build that future. Not because he is the easiest option. Not because he has helped you. Not because the university would be pleased."
Advisor Merrow's expression softened.
"But because, when you imagine the life you want, you want him there."
Dginnie looked down at her hands.
She thought of Kael's tail curling around her when she was embarrassed. His ears lifting whenever she surprised him. The way he listened when she complained, even when her complaints were about things he could not change. The way he had promised not to trap her, then gone out of his way to make certain her internship contract contained no hidden obligations.
She thought of how she had felt when she learned he would be away for five weeks.
She had told herself she was merely accustomed to his presence.
She had told herself she missed the comfort he provided.
She had told herself many things.
Perhaps she had been avoiding the simplest answer.
"I'll talk to him," she said.
Advisor Merrow nodded.
"Good. And Dginnie?"
She looked up.
"You do not have to solve your entire life in one afternoon."
Dginnie gave a small, tired laugh.
"I think I might have been trying to."
"I noticed."
For the first time since entering the office, she felt herself relax.
The advisor stood.
"Go to your next class. Eat something. Watch the recordings you missed yesterday. Then speak to Kael when you have time to think clearly."
Dginnie gathered the list and slipped it into her bag.
At the door, she hesitated.
"Advisor Merrow?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you for not giving up on me."
Advisor Merrow's expression became very gentle.
"And I will try to make sure that no one else does, either."
-----
When Dginnie finally returned to her room that evening, Kael wasn't back yet. But he seemed to have anticipated what time she would return to their dorm room.
[How did the meeting go?]
She smiled faintly and typed back a reply.
[Long. It was alright.]
His reply arrived almost immediately.
[Have you eaten?]
[I'm about to.]
[Something that qualifies as food?]
[Yes, Kael.]
[Excellent. Have you watched the missed lectures?]
Dginnie groaned.
[Not all of them.]
[Dginnie.]
[Yes, Mum. I'm doing them now.]
A moment passed. A laughing emoticon jiggled on the screen.
Then:
[Good. I am proud of you.]
She stared at the message for longer than she intended.
There was no teasing attached to it. No expectation that she would repay him. No suggestion that she owed him anything for his concern.
Just four simple words.
She set her phone down and opened the first recording.
---------------------------
Chapter Twenty-Six: A Weekend with the Snow Leopards
Kael had made a mistake.
It was not a particularly serious mistake, at first. In fact, he had considered it a rather good idea.
He had waited until Dginnie had finished her evening meal, had settled comfortably on the sofa with her study materials, and had stopped looking as though she might spontaneously dissolve into a cloud of legal terminology.
Then he sat beside her.
"Dginnie?"
"Hmm?"
"I've been thinking."
She looked up immediately. "About what?"
"Taking you home."
Her expression went blank.
Kael smiled. "To meet my clan."
The blankness remained.
"Just for a weekend," he added. "Before my next placement and before your internship begins. We have a little time, and I think it would be good for you to meet everyone."
"Well, not everyone. There are quite a few of us."
"Quite a few?"
He considered this. "The immediate family, certainly. Some of the older relatives. A few cousins. Perhaps the neighbouring households, depending on who's around."
Dginnie slowly lowered her study materials.
"Kael."
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"How many people?"
He smiled.
She narrowed her eyes.
"Don't smile like that. How many?"
"That depends on how you define family."
"Kael!"
He laughed and caught her hand before she could retreat into her notes.
"Listen. You don't need to worry about anything. I'll organise the travel. You won't have to pay for it, pack anything, arrange accommodation, or make any preparations. I'll take care of everything."
"Everything?"
"Everything."
"What about clothes?"
"I'll organise it."
"What about toiletries?"
"I'll organise it too. Only the best for you."
"What about gifts?"
He blinked.
"Gifts?"
"Obviously gifts!"
"Why obviously?"
"Because I'm meeting your family!"
"And?"
"And I can't arrive empty-handed!"
Kael looked at her for a moment, then smiled with the particular expression that usually meant he had found something terribly entertaining.
"Dginnie, you're not being presented as a diplomatic offering."
"That's exactly what someone would say before presenting a diplomatic offering."
He laughed.
"Just enjoy the ride," he told her.
She stared at him.
He held her hand and patted it gently.
"All you have to do is come with me."
It sounded so simple.
But was it really?
-----
The first problem was Kael's family.
Dginnie began with the immediate family.
"How many siblings do you have?"
"Two."
"Older or younger?"
"One older brother and one younger sister."
"Names?"
"Snowfall and Softfur."
"Are they married?"
"Both."
"Children?"
"My brother, Snowfall, has three cubs. My sister, Softfur, has two."
"If they have descriptive names, how did you end up with a name like Kael?"
"Uh," Kael rubbed his nose, "it has something to do with a certain vegetable that shares the same homonym as my name and created an unfortunate misunderstanding that resulted in my name being registered in this way."
"Some day, I'm getting the full story out of you. Better yet, I'll ask your mum," Dginnie's eyes crinkled with laughter.
"No!" Kael replied with shock horror.
Dginnie waved her pen over her notebook.
"Back to your nieces and nephews. Ages?"
He told her.
"Are they all snow leopards?"
"Yes."
"Do they live together?"
"No. My brother has his own territory. My sister lives farther north."
"Then why are they all coming to meet us?"
Kael paused.
"Because you're coming."
She stared at him.
He looked rather pleased with himself.
"You're making this sound much more significant than it is."
"Is it not significant?"
"It is significant. But you don't need to be frightened."
"I'm not frightened."
"You're writing down the ages of your nieces and nephews."
"If your family is important to you, I have to memorise all this information. Plus, I need to know what sort of gifts to make!"
"Make?"
She looked up.
"Well, I can't buy anything."
Kael's expression softened.
"Dginnie, you don't have to bring gifts."
"You say that, but it doesn't change proper social etiquette. I can't just turn up at someone's home and expect them to entertain me without bringing something. What would they think of me?"
"They'll be entertaining you because they want to meet you."
"That's not the point."
He watched her add another line to her notebook.
"What are you thinking of making?"
"I don't know yet."
"Then perhaps you should wait until you know what they like."
"That's why I'm asking you."
He looked at the notebook.
Then at her.
Then back at the notebook.
It was already several pages long.
"Perhaps," he suggested carefully, "we could start with my mother."
His mother liked tea.
His father preferred savoury foods.
His older brother was fond of practical things.
His younger sister enjoyed pretty things, although Kael admitted that he had never been particularly good at choosing them.
His brother's children liked sweets.
His sister's children liked sweets.
Dginnie asked whether any of them had allergies, dietary restrictions, dislikes, or particular preferences.
Kael answered what he knew.
Then she asked about the extended family.
He answered those questions too.
Then she asked about the clan elders.
He told her there were several.
"Several how many?"
"Five who are likely to attend."
"Likely?"
"Possibly six."
"Kael."
He sighed.
"Dginnie, I don't know how many people will decide to come when they hear I'm bringing you home."
She went very still.
"Will they all come?"
"Some might."
"Why?"
"Because they'll be curious."
"Curious about what?"
He looked at her.
"You."
She closed her notebook.
He smiled and drew her against his side.
"You're going to be fine."
She rested her head against his shoulder.
For approximately twenty seconds, she seemed to believe him.
Then she sat upright.
"Do your parents know about me?"
"Yes."
"What have you told them?"
"That I have a lovely roommate."
"Kael!"
"And that I'm very fond of her."
"Kael!"
"And I hope she will be my future mate."
"And what did they say to that?"
"They said they have confidence in my hunting prowess and look forward to meeting my lovely mate."
She opened her mouth, then shut it again.
He stroked her cheek and brushed her with his tail, which she hugged to her chest, trying to calm herself down.
"Don't worry. I haven't told them anything you haven't already done yourself."
"That is not reassuring."
-----
The second problem was gifts.
Dginnie had no money to spare.
Her scholarship covered her education and living expenses, but she had been careful with every credit. She had no intention of spending what little she had on gifts for a family she had not even met.
So she began experimenting.
First, she made a small selection of sweet pastries.
Kael ate one.
Then another.
Then he told her they were delicious.
She asked whether his mother liked sweet pastries.
He thought so.
She asked whether his father liked them.
He wasn't sure.
She asked whether his older brother liked them.
He shrugged.
She asked whether his younger sister liked them.
He said probably.
Dginnie stared at him.
"You're not helping."
"I thought I was helping by eating them."
"You are helping with the food. You are not helping with the information."
The next attempt was a tea blend.
Then a savoury preserve.
Then a small embroidered pouch.
Then she began making little things for the children.
Kael found himself presented with a succession of objects, each accompanied by a series of increasingly detailed questions.
"Would your niece like this?"
"Probably."
"Would your nephew?"
"Possibly."
"Would your mother think it was childish?"
"No."
"Would your father?"
"What would my father do with such a little pouch?"
"I don't know! Perhaps he would like embroidery from his future daughter-in-law?"
Kael took the pouch from her.
He examined it.
Then he tucked it into his pocket.
"I like it."
"You're not the recipient."
"I can still appreciate it. It's mine now."
She gave him a suspicious look.
He leaned forward and rested his forehead with hers.
"Make whatever you like. My family will appreciate the effort."
She looked down at the remaining materials.
"What if they don't?"
"Then I'll kick them down the hill, eat everything you cooked myself and keep everything else so that they can't have them."
That, at least, was a promise he seemed confident of keeping.
-----
By the fourth day, Kael was beginning to understand the problem.
Dginnie was not merely nervous about meeting his family.
She was preparing for an event whose outcome she believed might determine the rest of her life.
Every few days, her anxieties changed shape.
One evening, she worried that his mother might dislike her.
The following morning, she wondered whether his father would consider her unsuitable.
That afternoon, she asked whether snow leopard cubs were usually expected to have a particular number of relatives present when meeting a prospective mate.
Kael had no idea where she had found that question.
The next day, she worried that his family might be offended if she didn't know their customs.
Then she worried that she might accidentally perform a custom incorrectly.
Then she wondered whether there were customs she could accidentally perform without knowing they were customs.
That one made Kael sit up.
"What sort of custom?"
"I don't know!"
"Then how could you accidentally perform it?"
"That's exactly the problem!"
He stared at her.
She stared back.
He decided not to pursue the matter and explain at a later time when she was calmer that his clan didn't have very many rules or customs. That it was indeed as simple as going back to meet the family and spending some time together.
-----
Kael tried everything.
He took her out for meals.
He arranged quiet evenings.
He brought her favourite snacks.
He suggested they watch something together rather than study.
He even offered to cancel the trip.
That last suggestion nearly caused an argument.
"You're not cancelling it!"
"I said I would if you're uncomfortable."
"I'm not uncomfortable!"
He looked at her.
She looked at him.
Her hands were clenched around a half-finished embroidered pouch.
"Dginnie."
"I'm just trying to make sure I don't embarrass you."
"You won't."
"You don't know that!"
"I know my family."
"But I don't!"
"That's why I'm taking you to meet them."
She pressed her lips together.
Kael rubbed his forehead.
He was beginning to feel rather helpless.
He had expected her to be nervous. He had not expected to find himself negotiating with a woman who appeared to believe that meeting his mother was a matter of international security.
And the worst part was that he could not simply tell her to stop worrying.
She was not being unreasonable in wanting to understand what she was agreeing to. He knew that.
But she was exhausting herself.
He was worried she would make herself ill before they even left.
-----------------------------------------
Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Art of Worrying
At university, the consequences were becoming noticeable.
One of her classmates asked whether she was feeling well after Dginnie spent an entire lecture staring at a blank section of her notebook.
Another asked whether she was having trouble with her coursework.
Her accounting lecturer gently reminded her that she had been unusually distracted.
Dginnie apologised and promised to concentrate.
She did concentrate.
For almost half an hour.
Then she began wondering whether she should bring a small gift for each of Kael's siblings or just the children and whether that would create an imbalance between them.
During a health education lecture, the problem became considerably worse.
The lecturer was discussing reproductive health, mating compatibility, and the initial supervised mating process.
Dginnie heard the words.
She understood the words.
Unfortunately, her imagination had decided to use them as raw material for an elaborate catastrophe.
She was no longer in the classroom.
She was imagining herself in an unfamiliar room, surrounded by snow leopard relatives, while someone explained an ancient mating custom that she had never heard of.
Then she imagined accidentally agreeing to something.
Then she imagined Kael's mother explaining that she had misunderstood.
Then she imagined everyone staring at her.
Then she imagined herself trying to apologise while someone gently explained that she had committed a grave social offence.
Her pen stopped moving.
The lecturer asked a question.
Dginnie did not respond.
"Dginnie?"
She blinked.
"Yes?"
"Would you care to explain the distinction we were discussing?"
She looked at the board.
Then at her notes.
Then at the lecturer.
Her mind was entirely empty.
"I'm sorry. Could you repeat the question?"
A few students glanced at her.
The lecturer did not appear annoyed, merely concerned.
"Of course. Are you feeling all right?"
"Yes. I'm fine."
She was not fine.
She had begun imagining a snow leopard family council.
---
Kael heard about her distracted lectures from his classmate, Riven, who had been informed by his cousin who was in the same course as Dginnie.
"Your girl is worrying herself sick," his friend observed.
Kael looked up.
"She's not sick."
"Not yet."
Kael frowned.
Riven leaned back in his chair.
"She's been asking people about snow leopard customs. One of my classmates said she asked whether there was a formal greeting for the elders and the most senior male or female."
Kael closed his eyes.
"That sounds like her."
"She also asked whether a visiting mate was expected to bring something for every cub."
Kael rubbed his face.
"Of course she did."
Riven grinned.
"You're enjoying this?"
"No."
"You look like you're enjoying it."
"I am not."
"Your ears are doing something."
Kael flattened them.
Riven laughed.
"She's serious about you, isn't she?"
Kael's expression changed.
"Yes."
His friend regarded him for a moment.
"Then perhaps you should stop treating this like a simple weekend visit."
Kael looked at him.
Riven shrugged.
"She thinks she's being evaluated. You know that, don't you?"
Kael said nothing.
"She probably thinks your family will decide whether she's suitable. And if she changes her mind afterwards, she'll have disappointed all of them."
Kael leaned back.
He had not considered that.
He had been thinking about introducing her to his family, allowing her to see where he came from, and giving her a chance to experience his clan.
He had not realised she might be imagining a tribunal.
"Thanks," he said.
Riven smiled.
"You're welcome. Try not to eat her."
Kael gave him a flat look.
---
He tried talking to her again that evening.
"You're worrying too much."
"I know."
"Then stop."
"I can't."
He considered her.
"Would it help if I told you my mother already likes you?"
Dginnie looked up.
"How?"
"Because I told her about you."
"What did you tell her?"
"That you're clever, hardworking, and very pretty."
Her cheeks coloured.
"Kael."
"And that you make excellent pastries."
"That's not enough to make someone like me."
"She also knows you put up with me."
Dginnie looked doubtful.
"That might work against me."
He laughed and kissed her forehead.
But even that did not settle her.
He tried reassuring her that his family would not expect her to know every custom - and if there were any, he didn't know them himself. He explained that he would be beside her throughout the visit. He reminded her that she was not obligated to accept any invitation, participate in any ceremony, or agree to anything she did not understand.
She listened.
She appreciated it.
And then she asked whether his family would consider it rude if she refused a particular food.
Kael stared at her.
She looked back.
He sighed.
---
The next day, she was worse.
He found her reading an article about snow leopard territorial customs.
"Why are you reading that?"
"So I understand your family."
"My family isn't a textbook."
"I know."
"Then why are you reading about territorial customs?"
"Because you said each couple has their own land."
He sat beside her.
"Yes."
"So what happens when someone visits?"
"They're invited."
"Do they need permission to cross the territory?"
"Usually."
"Usually?"
He looked at her.
She looked at him.
He took the device from her hands and set it aside.
"Dginnie."
"What?"
"Come here."
She hesitated.
He opened his arms.
She came.
He wrapped her up and rested his cheek against her hair.
For a while, she was quiet.
Then she asked, "What if your family doesn't like me?"
"They will."
"What if they don't?"
"Then I'll still like you."
She was silent.
"What if I decide I don't want to be your mate?"
His arms loosened slightly.
He looked down at her.
"Then you don't become my mate."
She frowned.
"But your family will know."
"Yes."
"And they'll know I changed my mind."
"Yes."
"And they'll be disappointed."
"Perhaps."
"What if they decide to eat me because I hurt your feelings?"
"Dginnie!"
She looked miserable.
Kael lifted her chin.
"Dginnie, listen to me. My family is not entitled to you. Neither am I. And nobody is going to be eating you."
She looked at him.
"You can meet them, get to know them, and decide what you think. If you decide you don't want to bond with me, I'll be disappointed. I won't pretend otherwise. But I won't punish you for it, and neither will my family."
She swallowed.
He hugged her firmly when she started to squirm.
"You're not signing away your freedom by accepting a weekend invitation."
She nodded.
He hoped she believed him.
---
He was beginning to worry that reassurance alone would not be enough.
She was tired. Her appetite had become irregular, and she was sleeping poorly. Her mind seemed to circle the same questions, finding new ways to frighten herself with each passing day.
Kael had tried humour.
He had tried affection.
He had tried practical explanations.
He had tried telling her that his family would probably be more interested in whether she liked them than in whether she knew their customs.
Nothing lasted.
And so, when he found her sitting on the floor with three different gift projects spread around her, muttering about whether a different tea blend would be more appropriate for his mother, he finally lost his head.
He shifted.
Dginnie looked up.
"Oh."
The enormous snow leopard stared at her.
"Kael?"
He approached.
"Kael, what are you doing?"
He lowered himself over her.
She leaned backwards.
"Kael, wait!"
And sat on her.
There was a muffled squeak.
"Kael!"
He was enormous.
His weight pressed her into the cushions, his thick fur surrounded her, and his tail curled around her legs.
She tried to move.
He adjusted himself.
She could not move.
"You're heavy!"
He lowered his head and began grooming her hair.
His tongue scraped over her scalp.
"Ouch!"
He did it again.
"Kael! That hurts!"
He nudged her cheek.
His whiskers tickled.
She wriggled.
His tail curled more firmly around her.
"Stop tickling me!"
He made a low rumbling sound.
She blinked.
Was he purring?
He didn't purr.
At least, he had always told her that snow leopards did not purr.
Whatever the sound was, it vibrated through his enormous body.
Dginnie stopped struggling.
The warmth was extraordinary. His fur was soft, his breathing steady, and the rumbling sound was strangely soothing.
He nuzzled her again.
She giggled despite herself.
"Your face is tickling me."
He seemed to take that as encouragement.
He licked her cheek.
"Kael!"
Another rumble.
She buried her face against his neck.
He was warm.
Very warm.
And despite the weight, despite the occasional uncomfortable whisker and the dreadful roughness of his tongue, she began to relax.
Her hands found his fur.
She stroked him.
He settled more comfortably around her.
For a while, neither moved.
-------------------------------------------------
Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Snow Leopard Solution
When Kael eventually shifted back, Dginnie was still tucked beneath him.
Only now he had arms.
And hands.
And a very different sort of warmth.
He gathered her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her while his tail curled around her legs.
"No, bring back the fluffies," Dginnie protested. "Go back to your full form. It was so cute. So much fun."
"Hush. Calm down Dginnie. My full form is only for my wife to play with. Not before."
He hummed softly and hand moved slowly over her back. The sound was low and soothing, and his touch was gentle.
Dginnie rested her cheek against him and sighed.
She had to admit that this was working rather well.
She was beginning to feel sleepy.
Then she became aware of something else.
Something rather obvious.
Something warm and firm pressing against her through the layers of their clothing.
Her eyes opened.
She looked down.
Then up.
Kael was watching her.
His expression was entirely unrepentant.
Dginnie went very still.
He smiled.
"Hello."
She swallowed.
"Kael."
"Yes?"
"You're..."
"Very pleased to have you in my arms?"
"That's not what I was going to say."
"I know."
His smile widened.
She stared at him.
He was handsome.
Infuriatingly handsome.
His hair was slightly dishevelled, his ears were relaxed, and his tail was wrapped around her as though it had every intention of keeping her there.
His body was warm and strong beneath her hands.
And he was very clearly attracted to her.
She knew that.
She had always known that.
But at that moment, she was suddenly aware of just how much he wanted her.
Her face grew hot.
Kael lowered his head.
"Dginnie."
She looked at his mouth.
Then quickly looked away.
"If you want it," he said quietly, "and you're ready, we don't have to wait for the official registration."
She looked back at him.
"Many beastmen mate first and register afterwards. Some don't go through the initial supervised mating session at all. There's nothing stopping us."
His thumb brushed her cheek.
"I'm not going to stop you."
Dginnie stared.
He was not pressuring her.
He was offering.
The distinction was important.
Very important.
And terribly inconvenient.
Because she could imagine it.
She could imagine being his mate. Sharing his home, his territory, his bed. Waking up beside him. Having his arms around her whenever she wanted them.
She could imagine his magnificent snow leopard form curled around her.
His fluffy ears.
His fluffy tail.
An entire world of fluffiness.
Her imagination was becoming dangerously unhelpful.
She looked at him again.
Kael was smiling.
Not smugly.
Not impatiently.
Just waiting.
She was beginning to think she might actually—
"Wait."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Yes?"
"Aren't snow leopards solitary?"
Kael blinked.
"What?"
"Snow leopards. They're solitary felines, aren't they? They have enormous territories. They don't live in groups like lions."
He looked at her for a moment.
Then he laughed.
"That's what you're thinking about?"
"Well, yes!"
"Dginnie."
"Your family has a whole village!"
"Yes."
"But how does that work? If you live separately, why have a clan village?"
He smiled, feeling helplessly in love with this adorable human.
"We do have large territories. Each established couple has its own land, and they patrol it. We don't all live together in one place."
"Then..."
"The clan village is where we gather for major events, celebrations, family meetings, and other important occasions. It's a shared place. We maintain it together."
"Oh."
"When you're ready to visit, I'll send word. Everyone who wants to meet you will travel there."
Dginnie nodded slowly.
Then her expression changed.
"Everyone?"
"Those who want to come."
"Meeting me is a major event?"
Kael smiled.
"It will be."
She looked horrified.
He immediately gathered her closer.
"Come here."
"I'm already here."
"Closer."
He lifted her from the floor and settled her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her again.
"You're not going to be examined by a council of elders. You're going to meet my family."
"But you said it was a major event."
"Because I'm bringing someone I care about."
She looked at him.
His expression had softened.
"Someone I hope will become part of my family."
Her fingers curled into his shirt.
He stroked her temple with gentle fingers.
"You don't have to impress anyone. You don't have to prove anything. Just be yourself."
She breathed out.
"That's easy for you to say."
"Yes. I'm extremely charming."
She gave him a small, incredulous look.
He grinned.
"There she is."
He began stroking her back again.
His tail moved slowly around her legs.
His nose brushed her cheek.
The nuzzling was gentle at first, then gradually became more affectionate. His hand moved from her back to her waist, and his fingers traced a slow, soothing path along her side.
Dginnie became aware that he was no longer merely trying to comfort her.
He was enjoying having her close.
Very much.
She looked up.
Kael met her eyes.
"Are you willing to be my mate, Dginnie?"
She paused.
The question was familiar.
But this time she was not caught off guard.
She looked at his face, at his ears, at the tail curled around her.
Then she leaned forward and kissed him.
Kael went completely still.
For one precious instant, he seemed almost unable to believe it.
Then his arms tightened around her.
He kissed her back.
It was not a peck on the cheek this time.
It was a proper kiss, warm and lingering, and Dginnie found herself holding onto him rather more tightly than she had intended.
Kael was delighted.
Possibly too delighted.
He kissed her again.
And again.
Dginnie was beginning to lose track of where one kiss ended and the next began.
She had a vague impression that he was smiling against her mouth.
Then the room tilted.
Her eyes fluttered.
Kael drew back.
"Dginnie?"
She blinked at him.
"I think..."
Her head dropped against his shoulder.
"Dginnie?"
She had fainted.
Kael stared down at her.
Then he sighed.
"Well."
He carefully carried her to bed.
---
He tucked her beneath the covers and sat beside her for a long while.
She was breathing normally. Her face had regained its colour, and she looked peaceful.
He brushed a strand of hair from her forehead.
"You're going to be the death of me," he murmured.
He was smiling.
He was also beginning to understand that he had a considerable amount of work ahead of him.
If Dginnie was going to become his mate, she needed to understand his clan, his species, and their customs. Not just the romantic parts. Not just the things that made her blush.
Everything.
He would explain their territory arrangements, their family structure, their expectations of a mate, and the customs surrounding the bonding ritual.
He would tell her what she could expect and what she could refuse.
He would make sure she knew how to navigate the clan village and how to recognise the different family relationships.
And he would answer every question she had.
Even the ridiculous ones.
Especially the ridiculous ones.
He glanced at her notebook, which was lying open on the nearby desk.
He picked it up.
There were several pages of questions.
He read the first few.
Then he found a page headed:
Things that could go wrong when meeting Kael's family.
He closed the notebook.
Perhaps they should begin with a more reassuring subject.
He took another notebook and started writing answers to her questions in it, planning to leave it open for her to read when she woke up again.