Sometimes I don't understand why we get angry at each other, why we fight when there's already a war raging outside.
To me, we are all that we have when the end pushes near, yet at times I feel like if there was a chance for you to push me into the fire, you would.
Your anger feels like a wall, one with cracked bricks holding you up and cement between the layers, slipping loose and ready to take anyone with you that you deem unworthy or annoying at the moment.
And even though I could never hate you, at times I feel like your brick wall crashes into me more than once, breaking down my most protective circle because you know you could. You know how much it would hurt me, burn, sting, and leave scars, and yet I forgive you every time because that's what I'm supposed to do.
You are one of my closest confidants, yet at times you feel like the second enemy to me, blaming me for something and not fully explaining or taking things when you see fit. You want things done your way at your time, and if it's not, that wall comes up again. Crashing down and making me feel bad because, well, I always do, whether it's my fault or not.
You make me feel like I am always the problem, like my existence is such a burden that you would truly be better without me. If I were to disappear today, would you truly be happier, at peace?
You could say what you want with no boundaries, wear what you want without worrying about what I think. Punch every wall in the house without my criticism, yes, it truly would be perfect without seeing my face every day, wouldn't?
Because even though we had good times, they still are stained with the spilled coffee of yesterday, so all the smiles you had are replaced with frowns. All the words I had to say are washed away with the wind, and you're better off without them.
You wouldn't even think about the memories if I were gone, but I would think about you if it were the other way around. I would cry and could barely eat, and wouldn't feel like I deserved to be happy without you there.
But with me, the thing you would miss is being able to hit me when I say something stupid or something you don't like.
Sometimes, when you see my face, you want to grab me by the neck and tell me to shut up, for my words echo in your head. If you had to break my vocal cords, you would just get me to quiet down for a day.
Just to hear the silence in your own head from my voice, to be at peace.
For even my happiness is a burden upon your soul, a slight irritation that ruins your day at any moment when I walk into a room.
My beating heart is a glass shell that you want to crack just to see the look on my face, the satisfaction in your brain as you rid me of this temporary plain.
She sliced the middle of the forehead and then dug into the cranium, forcing her eyes to look as her stomach bubbled like a cauldron.
"I am not a person who does autopsies; this would be easier if I could just draw blood," Regina stated as Charlotte put her hands together.
"I know, Reg, but there isn't any blood to draw, so it has to be done the old-fashioned way, and you're the only qualified witch who is trained to examine the cause and find the answer."
Regina winced, her skin forming goosebumps as her brain swirled with its own thoughts of regret.
"Right, in other words, strangle me tomorrow instead of today."
Charlotte raised a brow, "What does that mean?"
"Basically, I have to deal with the consequences of all that training and studying and essentially suck it up." She twirled her hand in a circle, "It can also mean give me a break today and grill me tomorrow."
Charlotte's floral pink eyes blinked back, "Oh, I see, apologies, then, if it wasn't for the ongoing curses frequently taking out creatures, then you could get a break."
"It isn't just curses, Char, it's also humans as well, maybe not as prominent as curses, but" she sliced open the abdomen with a frown, "Still a cause of monster deaths, and if they weren't so afraid of us, we would be on the list as well."
Regina put her tools to the side as Charlotte's fists balled, "I don't understand why, though, Reg, don't we train for years to help others? To give humans the help they don't have access to?"
Regina looked inside the dead creature, seeing how it was left nearly empty, dried up like a fruit, and covered in yellow dust, present all around the corpse, with the eyelids even leaving a trace of the same substance.
She took a second to look back at her doe-eyed friend, "Of course, we do, but when a species even hates their own kind, nothing in the world can drown that hate except death. It is a sad realization, but something we cannot control."
Regina cracked her knuckles and pointed to different parts of the body, including the empty skull, "It seems as if this creature was infected from the inside, plagued with a parasite. Which I would have to look up in my book, but from the evidence, it was left with nothing but its body. The creature could have been infected by a plant or another victim carrying the parasite, since the parasite can't live without a living host-"Regina."
Regina stopped and turned her attention back to Charlotte, "I apologize, did I dampen your mood?" Charlotte shook her head, "No, no, you just opened a new understanding, and I am so grateful to have you. Even in our studies, the way you excelled was truly beautiful. I was in awe each time I saw you, inspired but not in a jealous way, and it saddens me that so many won't appreciate your wonder like I do. "
Something in her chest glowed, and Regina put her hands to her chest, "I know, but I don't do it for the glory, I do it for others whether they appreciate it or not but hearing how much you honor me. Brings me more joy, more joy than I could ever hope to get from people who don't appreciate it. You, Charlotte, are one of my reasons to keep trying. "